arren

This is not what fiance/marriage visas are for though. If you went to your consulate interview and said you barely know your husband, but you're marrying him because you want a better opportunity elsewhere, would they approve you?
I understand the desire to have a better life, but it's also depressing when couples that are actually in love have a hard time getting approved because of all the people who marry US citizens just to get in the USA.
Also, it might sound weird to you but a lot of people DO "fall in love" even though they don't live in the same country. Not all long distance relationships are fake or arranged.

I honestly don't care how long it takes to process my ROC. My life is carrying on as normal, just as it did before I filed. If I don't get approved before January next year, I'll file my N400. No need to get annoyed.
God forbid that people be given a chance at the American Dream that we have all been given....

What this boils down to is that you want us, and more importantly (because what we think truly doesn't matter one bit), the USCIS offical you'll be interviewing with to take your word for it that your marriage is real and you intend to live life as a married couple from here on. Whether you like it or not, the USCIS employee is probably going into this interview thinking your marriage is for immigration purposes, and it's up to you to prove it's not.
Let me make that clear: The burden of proof is on you to prove your marriage is genuine, not on the USCIS offical to prove it's not.
So, given that statement, based on what we've been able to gather in your other posts, you'll be walking into an interview under the following conditions:
- Very few photos of you and your husband together (you yourself said there are maybe 3)
- No photos of your son and your husband together
- Husband didn't file taxes for a year
- Husband can't really prove he's working now
- Husband can't locate his birth certificate
- There are NO documents (financial, legal, lease, or otherwise) with both your names on it
Every single person on this forum is telling you that you have some real obstacles to overcome given all this information, and they said so based on your request for their advice. You are posting on a forum with people going through the same 'journey' you are, so you aren't going to find another group of people anywhere that are more sympathetic to your cause.
Do you think the USCIS office is going to be more or less sympathetic to you? If you answered 'less', you win the grand prize. People here are trying hard to help you. Don't complain because their advice isn't what you want to hear.
Just like others have said, good luck.

I just read back through all of your many threads on this topic, and all I saw was people being unfailingly helpful in trying to point out potential issues that may arise with the evidence you are planning to present in support of your case. I'm guessing this latest tirade from you is probably going to quash that helpfulness pretty effectively, though. Maybe it's time to take a breather from Teh Internetz if you're getting this worked up about what total strangers say to you in an online forum?
Remember, though: no matter how well or how badly you do at convincing people on VJ of whatever you are trying to prove, it won't make a whit of difference in your immigration process what people at VJ think.
All that matters is the evidence. No, it doesn't feel good to live your life being constantly aware of the necessity of creating evidence along the way for future immigration processes, but it's part of the reality of being in an international relationship, and most of us are used to it by now (or getting there).

I never questioned whether or not your marriage was real....ever...i gave you suggestions as to what evidence to bring to the interview and you became defensive. I was trying to help and it fell on deaf ears. You asked for advice. And most of the others were not questioning your marriage, they were trying to help as well. You now have a SS number and it is very easy at this point to be added to your husbands bank accounts.Adding you to his accounts does not give you bad credit. Please don;t go to your interview with the attitude that you deserve a visa, because it is on you to prove to the USCIS that you have an ongoing relationship, merely having a baby does not prove this. Take pictures now, you have time before the interview, it takes an hour at Walmart to have pictures developed. Gather all the evidence you can, it really is in your best interest. Lashing out at the people who are trying to help doesn;t do anyone any good. I wish you the best and good luck.

This is a disgusting response. The woman explains that she's emotionally abused, and once physically. He brings over family members to bully her. He sets out a plan for her (raise the child, then have a 2nd baby) and when she attempts to follow that plan, he acts as if it never was the plan in the first place.
And your response is to tell her to be a better wife. Unbelievable.

"fidelity issue"???? "love for the sofa"????
Did we read the same post? Your response just confused the heck out of me. I hope the OP understands it better than I did!

And who are you to make judgments about what other people "understand" or not? What do you know about a person based on the country of their passport? Who are you to define their background and level of "understanding"?

You have pretty bad attitude for Asian countries and Asian women. Are you married one of us?
well, I already wrote a long reply but I decided to delete all.. and make it short..
My life is better in term of the never-ending happiness in our marriage.
My life is worse.. the worst, in term of my own earning. I left a job that paid me triple more than I am making here.. and I'm from one of the "POOR" countries you mentioned.
Reading your post made me feel sick!

Geez. What a hasty generalization. The OP should also make sure not to do that with his/her "research" for the essay.
Ours wasn't courtship, but mine wasn't normal dating either. Sadly, there might be people who do that (get a meal ticket husband, as quoted earlier), but come on now, not everyone who meets a US citizen online and marries them does so for such a fraudulent reason.
Existence of "meal ticket" relationships is the primary reason why us, people who have great, real (but long distance ) relationships have a tough time applying for visas.

one of the worst threads I've ever seen

This is not what fiance/marriage visas are for though. If you went to your consulate interview and said you barely know your husband, but you're marrying him because you want a better opportunity elsewhere, would they approve you?
I understand the desire to have a better life, but it's also depressing when couples that are actually in love have a hard time getting approved because of all the people who marry US citizens just to get in the USA.
Also, it might sound weird to you but a lot of people DO "fall in love" even though they don't live in the same country. Not all long distance relationships are fake or arranged.

This is not what fiance/marriage visas are for though. If you went to your consulate interview and said you barely know your husband, but you're marrying him because you want a better opportunity elsewhere, would they approve you?
I understand the desire to have a better life, but it's also depressing when couples that are actually in love have a hard time getting approved because of all the people who marry US citizens just to get in the USA.
Also, it might sound weird to you but a lot of people DO "fall in love" even though they don't live in the same country. Not all long distance relationships are fake or arranged.

I feel sorry for the meal ticket husband. I know my wife is in love with me and would live with me in any country. There is no minimum time frame one must meet before it is possible to fall in love. Was your marriage a business transaction "deal" for you?
It is those types of people (that marry to better their standards of living alone and not for love) that create the stereotype that exists today about marrying foreign women. I believe that if those are the true underlying intentions, it is considered fraud.

Abuser shouldn't get roses,but jail time.Each nine seconds one person is abused in the USA.Last year in the USA 220.000 people had medical assistance because of the abuse and 2.300 people were killed by their spouses. She already hurt you and violence is not ok.We don't solve domestic violence giving roses but calling the cops,period. I own a non profit organization who helps victim of domestic violence,and i submitted more than 6.000 Vawa petitions in the last seven years. Dont be silent...speak out, violence is not ok.

OP, when a man takes a woman as his wife, that changes the dynamics of all other relationships -- including the relationship with his mother. He can make sacrifices on behalf of his mother -- but not at the expense of his wife and child.
Not knowing all variables involved here - on the surface, it seems employment would solve some major issues here.

If he gets a job, no need to wait a year; as long as his new employer/ hospital gives him a letter stating he is a permanent employee, and he has a couple of pay stubs to show, you are good for the affidavit of support.
There is nothing wrong with taking good care of your mom, it is an honourable thing to do, but it doesn't mean being her servant 24 hours a day. If he gets a job as a doctor, he could afford home help during the day and still take care of his mom when he is home overnight/ at weekends.

I entirely agree. He has his MD and chooses not to work at all? And now his mother won't agree to help you both?
I hate to think I'm becoming one of those cynical VJer's, but it just sounds like there is something missing from this story. He has chosen to get married and have a child(!), and by simply getting a job again could fix all of this? Yet, he doesn't? With a job, he could get his mother in a rehabilitation facility, at the least.
Follow the advice of those here: tell him he needs to get a job and put his wife and child first; then apply for CR1 visa. In the meantime, he should try to get co-sponsor help from whoever he can.
You might want to ask your husband about his priorities....

I am sorry to say this without sounding abrupt, but your husband's priorities are with you and his daughter! I am sorry his mother is ill but he will have to find someone else to take care of her and start worrying about how he is going to reunite with his own family, whether that is in the Philippines or in the US. Where is his head??

wow, maybe just me ,people just try to respond your post and you seem ..

She was only trying to help even if she missed the point of your question. This site is about helping others, that's what she was trying to do.

Honestly from the examples you made he doesn't sound a shy guy that can't show his feelings. He seems he's just not interested in you, and the fact that he barely pursues any intimate relationship with you is a pretty clear sign of lack of interest as well if you ask me.
About mental/emotional abuse - I've been in a relationship where I was emotionally abused and I really did not realize I was being abused until I got out of it. And getting out of it was really difficult too, because I kept thinking that maybe I was being too negative and maybe he did care for me after all. If he had any small stupid gesture towards me I thought it must mean he cares, even though it wasn't even remotely close to what everyone does in a normal relationship.
It was incredible how well it felt once I gathered to strength to cut any ties with him - and we weren't even married!
Really - what matters is YOUR happiness and it doesn't sound like you will ever be happy in this situation. I can understand why some posters suggest you try a bit longer, but in your case honestly time is a luxury you don't have: if he comes over and gets his green card you and your parents will be responsible for him for a really long time and he might as well completely ruin your life for what you know. And you have been married for close to two years and he had PLENTY of time to show his love. If he didn't until now he is not going to magically start all of a sudden.
In my opinion there is really no time left to still have doubts after being married for all this time, I would just divorce and cancel the affidavit of support if I were in your shoes. You're still young, need to start enjoying life again

Honestly from the examples you made he doesn't sound a shy guy that can't show his feelings. He seems he's just not interested in you, and the fact that he barely pursues any intimate relationship with you is a pretty clear sign of lack of interest as well if you ask me.
About mental/emotional abuse - I've been in a relationship where I was emotionally abused and I really did not realize I was being abused until I got out of it. And getting out of it was really difficult too, because I kept thinking that maybe I was being too negative and maybe he did care for me after all. If he had any small stupid gesture towards me I thought it must mean he cares, even though it wasn't even remotely close to what everyone does in a normal relationship.
It was incredible how well it felt once I gathered to strength to cut any ties with him - and we weren't even married!
Really - what matters is YOUR happiness and it doesn't sound like you will ever be happy in this situation. I can understand why some posters suggest you try a bit longer, but in your case honestly time is a luxury you don't have: if he comes over and gets his green card you and your parents will be responsible for him for a really long time and he might as well completely ruin your life for what you know. And you have been married for close to two years and he had PLENTY of time to show his love. If he didn't until now he is not going to magically start all of a sudden.
In my opinion there is really no time left to still have doubts after being married for all this time, I would just divorce and cancel the affidavit of support if I were in your shoes. You're still young, need to start enjoying life again

Honestly from the examples you made he doesn't sound a shy guy that can't show his feelings. He seems he's just not interested in you, and the fact that he barely pursues any intimate relationship with you is a pretty clear sign of lack of interest as well if you ask me.
About mental/emotional abuse - I've been in a relationship where I was emotionally abused and I really did not realize I was being abused until I got out of it. And getting out of it was really difficult too, because I kept thinking that maybe I was being too negative and maybe he did care for me after all. If he had any small stupid gesture towards me I thought it must mean he cares, even though it wasn't even remotely close to what everyone does in a normal relationship.
It was incredible how well it felt once I gathered to strength to cut any ties with him - and we weren't even married!
Really - what matters is YOUR happiness and it doesn't sound like you will ever be happy in this situation. I can understand why some posters suggest you try a bit longer, but in your case honestly time is a luxury you don't have: if he comes over and gets his green card you and your parents will be responsible for him for a really long time and he might as well completely ruin your life for what you know. And you have been married for close to two years and he had PLENTY of time to show his love. If he didn't until now he is not going to magically start all of a sudden.
In my opinion there is really no time left to still have doubts after being married for all this time, I would just divorce and cancel the affidavit of support if I were in your shoes. You're still young, need to start enjoying life again

It doesn't sound like the relationship you envisioned for yourself. It sounds like you want something similar to the affection your parents seem to give to each other.
Wanting your spouse to be interested in you and care about you is not asking a lot. It is something that should come without effort when you are in a loving relationship.
People who have trouble expressing affection in one way are usually able to show it in another.
From an outside perspective he doesn't seem unaffectionate he seems uninterested in the relationship.