tany1157
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tany1157 reacted to Happytobe in Looking for Advice about previous K1...Getting ready to file another K1 or CR1??
It took us only 9 days, I believe. As Tany1157 said, it took a lot of running around, and my hubby knew some people on the police force, and there was, at least, one bribe. It's very doable in your 52 days. I scanned some of my papers and emailed to my hubby so he was able to start getting them translated. Best wishes!
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tany1157 reacted to Anh map in Looking for Advice about previous K1...Getting ready to file another K1 or CR1??
Having done a K1 once, I'd never do one again. Get married and do the CR1 for all the reasons that you've stated (paperwork, expense, work authorization).
Be prepared for some extra scrutiny of you. AP for the beneficiary is a given.
Be prudent with your "explanation letter." The focus of the process should be on the new beneficiary, not the ex spouse. If they want to know more details, they will ask. Anything submitted will be fair game for the interview. Your new spouse/fiance should know the story so that he can answer any questions the CO may have.
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tany1157 reacted to R and F in An old timer, any others here?!
Hey I have been here since 2008. We are also through with everything. Glad that you came back to look for us. HA
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tany1157 reacted to Happytobe in An old timer, any others here?!
I remember you, too! Glad to see you pop in to say hello!
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tany1157 reacted to Shoot Em Straight in An old timer, any others here?!
Hey. I pop in occasionally too. My hubby and I have been through so much together...But still going strong. The adjustments were a journey too.
It seems like after the election things eased up for approvals compared to when we were all on here. And a lot of the REAL elders aren't on to "educate" the newbies anymore. I am sorry but they were just mean at it. Kinda counter productive for a great forum to aide people. OH well.
I miss Morocco. My hubby has been back and will travel again this June....Maybe next trip I will go also.
You know looking back there were so many different stories on here...seems quieter now.
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tany1157 reacted to N and J in Looking for Advice about previous K1...Getting ready to file another K1 or CR1??
Cool thank you for the advice and info! Congrats!!!
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tany1157 reacted to WandY in Wife arrived in the US 14 days ago. Now she is gone
Wrong answer! It should be the concern of all U.S. citizens and the poor soul that was defrauded in marriage. Seems that you are missing four large points here:
1. He can't get re-married until this one is legally extinguished.
2. He will likely have problems with getting another visa (if he marries foreigner) in the near future.
3. Getting her served with papers may be impossible. This will create massive delays in the legal process. Maybe an annulment is possible, based on fraud.
4. Fraudulent marriages makes it more difficult for legitimate visa-seekers (like me and others).
And yes, I did go to law school. You - probably not.
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tany1157 reacted to Harpa Timsah in Wife arrived in the US 14 days ago. Now she is gone
I liked the humblebrag about endowments best.
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tany1157 reacted to SanneW in Wife arrived in the US 14 days ago. Now she is gone
I read it before it was moderated and honedtly don't think he was nagging her. It is completely normal for a married couple to do certain things. He has been taking care of her while sick, and was about to be gone for work for a week. Asking in that situation to me seems normal. Might not want to put up a standard of how many times a week, tho in my opinion he wasn't nagging, he was just being a husband of a wife that apparently wasn't in love with him.... it's not his fault,if she loved him he mostlikely wouldn't even need to ask
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tany1157 reacted to EmilyW in Wife arrived in the US 14 days ago. Now she is gone
Not so sure about that. IMO, the purpose of her immigrating to the US was to immigrate to the US. The OP was merely the enabler of that move and, now that she's gotten into the US, he's surplus to requirements. She wasn't homesick or suffering culture shock. She could have gone home but, instead, got back on a flight to the US where people were waiting for her to start her new - husbandless - life
OP, just divorce and move on. You seem like your heart is in the right place. Don't try and punish her or follow her. Let her go. Tell your mom to leave it alone. She's not worth the time and hassle. I have no doubt you will hear from her when it's ROC time.
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tany1157 reacted to Lee&Ana in Wife arrived in the US 14 days ago. Now she is gone
He is mainly looking to vent and receive moral support because he was taken for a ride and that is a terrible feeling.
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tany1157 reacted to depressed_lost in Wife arrived in the US 14 days ago. Now she is gone
Did you see him nagging her?why don't you just keep quiet instead of lecturing people around here...No one needs your lectures...OP never asked if women want to be nagged or no or how women should be treated....duh he knows she was with him for other reasons...
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tany1157 reacted to NikLR in Wife arrived in the US 14 days ago. Now she is gone
Get divorced. Communicate only through lawyers. Move on. I'm sorry this happened to you.
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tany1157 reacted to UnaMexicana in Wife arrived in the US 14 days ago. Now she is gone
Let's not be so quick to judge OP.
I am so sorry that happened to you.
Anything she can do, she will find out on her own and with the help and support of that family.
What you need to do is go to the police, file a report and go to a lawyer and divorce.
Seek support of family and friends to help you move on. I wish you luck.
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tany1157 reacted to Lemonslice in Wife arrived in the US 14 days ago. Now she is gone
For a shy person, you are quick to share intimate details.
I would divorce her as soon as possible and move on, it seems you two never had the same goals.
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tany1157 reacted to JFH in Age Difference
they will surely ask about the circumstances under which you met. You were a child when you met. Also, about the future. You are married to a woman who is very unlikely to be able to bear children anymore due to her age. You're only 20. How do you feel about never being a father? It's very young to make such a lifelong decision. I'm sure you've discussed these issues between you.
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tany1157 got a reaction from sandinista! in I'm back?
I know I'm being irrational, because I decided to talk with my son yesterday about my feelings. He pretty much says I'm being crazy because he just sees it as it is. He is his step parent, and he respects that. He says he loves him, and looks up to him and understands everyone has a different way of doing things. Makes me feel good that I have such a smart little boy. I told him to call me out next time I get defensive. ? I appreciate your feedback.
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tany1157 reacted to sandinista! in The cold, hard truth about MENA "husbands"
I'm cool with charges of pseudo intellectualism coming from the likes of the ethnocentric bigot with the badass degree in international relations any day of the week.
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tany1157 reacted to Ning in The cold, hard truth about MENA "husbands"
I think I am glad you got out of that prison. Now it seems you want to become the warden.
" It was a useless, wasteful 2.5 years of my life and no woman should have to waste her time doing a visa for pathetic losers"
How exactly can women know which ones are these pathetic losers? Once identified is it ok if they help get visas for the seeming winners as you did? No kidding. With all of your education and knowledge you failed to see it coming.
I am really sorry this guy did this to you but I still don't know how you expect others to do what you couldn't and wouldn't even after you read all those terrible stories you spoke of. We see here what happens when you try to warn people about what happened to you. The response is incredible and much of it nasty. This would be the same if you were told not to do what you did I think. People do what they fell is best for them especially if it involves love.
I for one am not jealous of you. I think I have what you cant find so you should be jealous of me especially because I don't have to worry about losing it. I am actually sad for you. I hope you can find peace.
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tany1157 reacted to sandinista! in The cold, hard truth about MENA "husbands"
The chasm between what you actually post and what you say you've said gets wider with every post.
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tany1157 reacted to SaharaSunset in The cold, hard truth about MENA "husbands"
I rest my case OP. I do believe the name calling, the condescension, the immaturity, the irrational venom, the combative baiting and general lack respect with which you respond to others in your posts speaks for itself. I'd just like to leave you with a wise quote...
Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony. (Mahatma Gandhi) Cheers! -
tany1157 reacted to Fandango in The cold, hard truth about MENA "husbands"
You don't know why people are 'attacking' you (they're really not) because THEY DON'T KNOW YOU...yet, you tar most of their husbands (men whom you don't know) with the same brush as your own. Yeah yeah, you're not talking about 'all', but then you'll talk about 'men from the region' 'most MENA men' blah blah blah.
If you can understand how maligned you feel, think of how what you say comes across about their husbands, and by extension, them. 'Most' MENA men (according to your posts) are scamming abusive bastards who prey on insecure women, who mostly are fat and old. You, naturally, are the exception, because you're not fat, ugly or old, therefore you really don't understand why he was a #######, so of course, it has to be his culture.
And really, everyone here has been helpful, and hasn't thrown that kind of hate your way.
Umm, no...you married The Doctor...sheesh get it right.
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tany1157 reacted to Sarah Elle-Même in The cold, hard truth about MENA "husbands"
I will say it again: good men are hard to come by anywhere in the world.
I reiterate it because, OP, you keep insisting that this behavior is typical of men of a certain ethic or religious group. You think that people of this certain ethic or religious group are the most hardened in their beliefs of anyone and that they expect their mates of a different culture to assimilate without question. Your words, my summary. Patriarchy isn't exclusive. Do you know what machismo means? Did you know that in the Dominican Republic men who murder their wives are rarely prosecuted? Do you know it's estimated that a woman is raped every 15 seconds in South Africa?
The things your husband did to you are not exclusive to any ethnicity or race or nationality. I have a particular understanding of this because I am a longtime volunteer with rape crisis centers and battered women's shelters here in Brooklyn. I know women who were abused in ways you can't imagine for most of their lifetimes. One woman comes to mind - every single man who ever entered her life abused her in some way. Her father raped her from age 8 to 15. Her long-time boyfriend beat her every day and when she was pregnant he threw her out a window and fractured her hip. Her brother got her oldest daughter addicted to crack. Her more recent husband beats her, cheats on her, and ruined her credit. She was 45 years old before she started to reclaim her life for herself. Her background or her abusers' backgrounds are irrelevant though for the record they are varied. She could have let the anguish and anger swallow her whole but she didn't. She mentors younger women nowadays and tries to teach them about healthy relationships and self-esteem. She teaches taking responsibility and control rather than wallow in victimhood. You can never expect abusers to change - you're the one that has to.
Tangent aside... You may think you are a catch objectively but I have my doubts about your self-confidence. Abusive relationships can happen to anyone and don't think badly about yourself for falling prey to one. Abusers cannot be pigeonholed into categories like ethnicity, religion, class, creed or sexuality because they come from all walks of life. You should really take that to heart in the future, so that you don't become a victim again. Wasting this time over the last few days deriding all Arab or Muslim guys is doing you a disservice because it's not helping you move forward. Your weekend could have been better spent doing something for yourself. Seek support in getting through your divorce so that the anger doesn't consume you. Life goes on and you have a right to get back on track.
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tany1157 reacted to sandinista! in The cold, hard truth about MENA "husbands"
OMG, wishing people ramadan karim, there's a game changer. I didn't realize we were dealing with someone who hands out ramadan karims. Why didn't you say so from the beginning?! Don't tell me you have one of those "coexist"
stickers on your car too!!
Anytime anyone, Muslim or not, makes a drastic lifestyle change or radical departure from formerly held religious or non religious beliefs there is always going to be a possibility that this departure may be unpalatable to their spouse or SO. If my husband started hanging out in bars or joined a thuggish motorcycle club, I wouldn't stay with him. Why would he be obligated to stick with me if I suddenly, randomly embraced unpalatable to him lifestyle choices and behaviors? It's less a MENA thing than a be yourself from the very beginning with your spouse and don't paint yourself as someone you're not. And neither should either partner expect to change each other in fundamental ways.
I'm missing how your sh1tty husband's behaviors means that no matter what, myself and everyone else here married to guys from MENA who aren't MENA themselves will never be part of their husband's inner circle, whatever that means. Your ####### hasn't kept me and my children from being as close to my husband as his own blood, in every possible way, and I know way too many people here in the exact same situation to believe it is any kind of anomaly. Your getting ####### doesn't mean everyone else got it too.