Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
tany1157

I'm back?

6 posts in this topic

Recommended Posts

It's been a while since I've posted. Things have gone pretty well after the usual bumpy ride of adjustment. Husband has been here 3 years this week, and we just filed for citizenship last month. Now for my question...

Anyone have kids from another relationship, for which your immigrant spouse is a step parent? This has been my only semi-constant snag in our house. I can be overly sensitive, which is why I would like some outside feedback.

I find it extremely hard to watch my husband discipline my son at all. Like I get very defensive for my son when it happened. I am the main disciplinarian because my ex is very present in my sons life, and I made it clear that my husband didn't need to be a huge father figure because of this. Still, when my son is with us (every other week) he needs to respect both adults in our house, so if course once in a while, my husband will say something, or give his input when I'm having a problem with my son. My husband is very matter-of-fact, and doesn't show much emotion, so I'm always afraid my son will hate my husband. I know that this isn't true, as they bond in their own way, and my son has told me repeatedly that he loves my husband and he understands he is the easy he is sometimes because of the culture he was raised in. I think I'm being paranoid, and I have occasionally talked with my son about it, and he says I shouldn't think or feel this way. Sometimes. When he has come down hard in him, I've undermined my husband. He finally said that bothered him because it's like he doesn't exist in the house. He had a point, so I've let go a bit, but I'm so paranoid still, like my son will be affected by this. I'm being over dramatic, right? Lol

Thanks in advance for the replies. Btw, my son is 10


Never give up on anything God has told you to believe for; never quit doing anything He has clearly shown you to do. Your diligence will pay off with a blessing from God." -Joyce Meyers

K1 Journey

-Filed August 2009

-Approved October 2009

-Interview in Casablanca January 2010

-Results DENIED

CR1 Journey

-Married March 2010

-Filed June 2010

-Approved October 2010

-NVC Journey 13 Weeks

-Interview in Casablanca March 2011

-Results DENIED

-USCIS received May 10, 2011

-NOIR received January 30, 2012

-NOIR sent February 21, 2012

-NOIR received by USCIS February 22, 2012

-NOIR response February 28, 2012--REAFFIRMED!

-NVC received petition March 19, 2012

-Petition sent to Casa March 20, 2012

-Consulate called husband to set interview March 26, 2012

-Interview set for April 2, 2012 at 3pm!!

-Interview results--APPROVED!

-Civil documents in--April 5, 2012

-Consulate called April 6, 2012 to pick up visa following Monday

-IR1 received--April 9, 2012

-POE--May 9, 2012

-Applied SS card--May 23, 2012

-Received SS card--May 26, 2012

-Received Welcome Letter--May 29, 2012

-GC mailed--June 1, 2012

-Received 10 year GC--June 4, 2012

-Applied for citizenship--February/March 2015

-Request for more proof/evidence--July 2015

-Approved--July 2015

-Citizenship Ceremony-- August 2015

NO MORE IMMIGRATION!!????

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I can't edit from my phone. * easy should be * way, and I'm sorry for the other mistakes


Never give up on anything God has told you to believe for; never quit doing anything He has clearly shown you to do. Your diligence will pay off with a blessing from God." -Joyce Meyers

K1 Journey

-Filed August 2009

-Approved October 2009

-Interview in Casablanca January 2010

-Results DENIED

CR1 Journey

-Married March 2010

-Filed June 2010

-Approved October 2010

-NVC Journey 13 Weeks

-Interview in Casablanca March 2011

-Results DENIED

-USCIS received May 10, 2011

-NOIR received January 30, 2012

-NOIR sent February 21, 2012

-NOIR received by USCIS February 22, 2012

-NOIR response February 28, 2012--REAFFIRMED!

-NVC received petition March 19, 2012

-Petition sent to Casa March 20, 2012

-Consulate called husband to set interview March 26, 2012

-Interview set for April 2, 2012 at 3pm!!

-Interview results--APPROVED!

-Civil documents in--April 5, 2012

-Consulate called April 6, 2012 to pick up visa following Monday

-IR1 received--April 9, 2012

-POE--May 9, 2012

-Applied SS card--May 23, 2012

-Received SS card--May 26, 2012

-Received Welcome Letter--May 29, 2012

-GC mailed--June 1, 2012

-Received 10 year GC--June 4, 2012

-Applied for citizenship--February/March 2015

-Request for more proof/evidence--July 2015

-Approved--July 2015

-Citizenship Ceremony-- August 2015

NO MORE IMMIGRATION!!????

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yeah, it can be difficult. The cultures are so different in raising children. It seems the two worlds will never come together in that regard. Can't really offer you a solution. I know exactly where you are coming from though.

Edited by Golden Gate

event.png




K1 Visa
Event Date
Service Center : Texas Service Center
Consulate : Morocco
I-129F Sent : 2011-03-07
I-129F NOA2 : 2011-07-08
Interview Date : 2011-11-01
Interview Result : Approved
Visa Received : 2011-11-03
US Entry : 2012-02-28
Marriage : 2012-03-05
AOS sent: 05/16/2012
AOS received USCIS: 5/23/2012
EAD Delivered: 8/3/2012
AOS Interview: 08/20/2012.
Green Card Received: 08/27/2012

ROC Form Sent 07/17/2014

ROC NOA 07/24/2014
ROC Biometrics Appt. 8/21/2014
ROC RFE 10/2014 Evidence sent 1/4/2014

ROC Approval Letter received 1/13/2015

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My first two children are 9 and 6 and thank God its gone quite smoothly for us. I try not to undermine my husband. I TRY to discuss things in private unless I feel that he is starting to discipline them for something I have previously allowed. It was difficult at first, but my kids adore my husband and have embraced him in a special way. Only they know how they feel inside but they give him all the respect of a father and freely give their love to them. Its tricky sure-- we've had many discussions, some in front of the kids on our differing opinions. I still hold the ultimate decision when it comes to them but I have trust in my husband's decisions as well.


RFQ [uSA] & SIMA [EGYPT]
Sima Applies for B2: 12/2012
5yr B2 approved: 02/2012
Married: 03/09/2012
NAO1: 04/25/2012
NAO2: 07/26/2012
8/8/2012: NVC Case Received
NVC #: 8/29/2012

1/24/13: AoS and 230 accepted
01/31/13: Rec'd checklist (expectedly)
02/14/13: Item @ NVC

CASE COMPLETE: 2/24/13
03/15/13: Interview date received
03/17/13: Medical
INTERVIEW: 4/03/13
"Approved Pending AP"
11/07/2013: Request for Updated Documents (via Egyptian consulate AP page)

12/20/2013: Request for return of Passport to Embassy (phone call)
01/13/2014: Passport returned to embassy

01/15/2014: Status Changed (CEAC) Visa Printed
VISA RECEIVED: 1/17/14 dancin5hr.gif

POE: JFK on 3/12/14 CLEARED!
Baby1 1/2015 Baby2 8/2106 isA

2016 Beginning naturalization process later this year, isA

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I know I'm being irrational, because I decided to talk with my son yesterday about my feelings. He pretty much says I'm being crazy because he just sees it as it is. He is his step parent, and he respects that. He says he loves him, and looks up to him and understands everyone has a different way of doing things. Makes me feel good that I have such a smart little boy. I told him to call me out next time I get defensive. ? I appreciate your feedback.


Never give up on anything God has told you to believe for; never quit doing anything He has clearly shown you to do. Your diligence will pay off with a blessing from God." -Joyce Meyers

K1 Journey

-Filed August 2009

-Approved October 2009

-Interview in Casablanca January 2010

-Results DENIED

CR1 Journey

-Married March 2010

-Filed June 2010

-Approved October 2010

-NVC Journey 13 Weeks

-Interview in Casablanca March 2011

-Results DENIED

-USCIS received May 10, 2011

-NOIR received January 30, 2012

-NOIR sent February 21, 2012

-NOIR received by USCIS February 22, 2012

-NOIR response February 28, 2012--REAFFIRMED!

-NVC received petition March 19, 2012

-Petition sent to Casa March 20, 2012

-Consulate called husband to set interview March 26, 2012

-Interview set for April 2, 2012 at 3pm!!

-Interview results--APPROVED!

-Civil documents in--April 5, 2012

-Consulate called April 6, 2012 to pick up visa following Monday

-IR1 received--April 9, 2012

-POE--May 9, 2012

-Applied SS card--May 23, 2012

-Received SS card--May 26, 2012

-Received Welcome Letter--May 29, 2012

-GC mailed--June 1, 2012

-Received 10 year GC--June 4, 2012

-Applied for citizenship--February/March 2015

-Request for more proof/evidence--July 2015

-Approved--July 2015

-Citizenship Ceremony-- August 2015

NO MORE IMMIGRATION!!????

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

We have the same issues sometimes except my kids are older, 20 and 17. I always come to my kid's defense and I know I shouldn't, it's difficult for me to hear anyone else discipline them, especially with my younger son. It is very rare that they ever need to be disciplined at their ages, but my 17 yo is autistic and it's difficult for him to control his emotions, he talks back sometimes but only because he can't control it when he is overwhelmed and my husband hates it so my hubby will tell him to stop. My husband also doesn't really understand all of the nuances of autism, he had never even heard of it before marrying me. I am very protective of my kids and it is hard. My ex is very involved in the kids lives, as well. I just want everyone to get along, and for the most part they do. I guess some of it is my own guilt for getting divorced and re-marrying, even though my kids are quite honest and open in telling me that life has been a lot better and less stressful since I divorced their dad. I get along with my ex much better since the divorce. It's hard. My hubby is applying for citizenship in July, these 3 years have gone by so quickly!



Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
 
Didn't find the answer you were looking for? Ask our VJ Immigration Lawyers.

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  
- Back to Top -


Important Disclaimer: Please read carefully the Visajourney.com Terms of Service. If you do not agree to the Terms of Service you should not access or view any page (including this page) on VisaJourney.com. Answers and comments provided on Visajourney.com Forums are general information, and are not intended to substitute for informed professional medical, psychiatric, psychological, tax, legal, investment, accounting, or other professional advice. Visajourney.com does not endorse, and expressly disclaims liability for any product, manufacturer, distributor, service or service provider mentioned or any opinion expressed in answers or comments. VisaJourney.com does not condone immigration fraud in any way, shape or manner. VisaJourney.com recommends that if any member or user knows directly of someone involved in fraudulent or illegal activity, that they report such activity directly to the Department of Homeland Security, Immigration and Customs Enforcement. You can contact ICE via email at Immigration.Reply@dhs.gov or you can telephone ICE at 1-866-347-2423. All reported threads/posts containing reference to immigration fraud or illegal activities will be removed from this board. If you feel that you have found inappropriate content, please let us know by contacting us here with a url link to that content. Thank you.
×