Sut

Hey Folks...
 
So I'm not sure if this is the right forum for this topic...but I'm sure the moderators will move it to the right place if it isn't. For those who aren't familiar with my situation, I have been in an LDR with a Filipina since June of 2020. Our first meeting was in Costa Rica in August of 2021 (thanks COVID). We started our K1 process shortly thereafter (October 2021). I was blessed enough to be able to visit her in the Philippines 3 times in 2022 since then including a 30 day stay in July of 2022. My last trip included my three children (17, 15 & 8 ) in March of 2023. That was the first time my children got to officially meet her. Prior to that my youngest had been in some video calls with us & my other two had maybe a 1-2 time video call to kind of just say hello. The meeting was a little up & down. Everyone seemed to get alone fine...and she seemed to especially connect with my youngest. The main issue was there was a few moments of misunderstanding where she threatened to leave (like she always does)...but this time she did it a couple of times where my kids became aware of her behavior. I'm not sure how that may have changed their perspective on her for better or for worse.
 
Fast forward to today...we finally finished the process & my fiancé joined us here in Texas on May 12th. For those who followed our story...it was a near miracle that she was able to pull it off & all of the puzzle pieces fell in to place to allow her to make it here. I wasn't even sure that she would be here & felt that we probably would need to postpone it for a week or two. In the rush of all of it...apparently, I didn't let my older two kids know that she was coming that weekend. My youngest (who I am closest with) knew. My kids were with their mom that weekend...so they didn't officially come back home until a couple of days after my fiancé was there. My youngest was excited to see her & gave her a hug. The older two hid out in their rooms & basically freaked out over the fact that "they were not told that this woman would be in their home". 
 
Since then we've had a series of ups & downs as a couple...as I'm sure most have experienced at first. There were no real issues with my kids other than my kids being considered disrespectful to my fiancé since they largely kept to themselves (like they always do) with my son playing his computer games & my oldest daughter coming & going with her friends. My youngest was still around and interacting with the both of us. Fast forward to today...and basically our house basically has all three kids primarily hanging out in their rooms (which is relatively normal) and my fiancé also hunkering down in our bedroom. I've told my fiancé that she needs to be more present and hang out in the living room if she wants to be able to develop any kind of relationship with my kids during the few moments that the opportunity arises. That's how I had been handling things prior to her arrival. I'd do my best to be in the living room area at least until 9 pm when my youngest would normally head to bed. This would give all of my kids access to me if they chose to interact with me or not. 
 
While my oldest have somewhat warmed up to her presence...my son will "warmly smile" at her when he sees her (his words)...and my oldest daughter will greet her when they see one another...my youngest has now started to ignore her as I think she & my fiancé feel as if they are competing for my time & affection. As a result...what has been happening is that around dinner time...my fiancé will once again isolate herself in our bedroom while I am out in the living room spending time with my youngest. Once my youngest goes to bed, then I will go into the bedroom. It just feels like a weird situation for all of us. 
 
My fiancé has expressed to me that she doesn't feel welcome in our home...largely because of how my kids are. She felt that she initially had the support of my youngest...but that has since changed as I believe they are both jealous of one another & feel threatened that they are going to lose time with me. I try to reassure them both that I have more than enough love & affection for both of them. I knew that being a step parent would be hard for anyone...but I also thought that if you willingly stepped into that role that you would need to be willing to accept that you would need to be willing to simply love those kids regardless of how they treated you in return. Kill them with kindness. 
 
Our wedding is supposed to be in less than two weeks...and I am sitting here wondering if having a wedding is a smart thing to do at this point. I feel like I am literally sitting between two high school girls fighting for my attention...as if my love & affection has limits and I can't love them both as my future wife & my daughter. 
 
Any insight, guidance or past experience would be greatly appreciated.
 
Thanks...
 
Kawika

Hello...Welcome!
 
For those who have just filed your I-129f application with USCIS, this thread has been created for your needs and for you to be with others experiencing different aspects of this journey. This is a place to ask questions and to share experiences. All are here to learn together.
 
Stay patient because this is a long process currently running 10-13 months for your NOA2 or petition approval by USCIS (first stage). Then your petition will be sent to NVC (second stage) and finally your interview at the embassy (third stage).  Also, do not compare yourself to others....Some will receive NOA-2 faster than others, some will be stuck at NVC for longer and then finally some will receive interviews fairly quickly at embassy. STAY PATIENT! 
 
Please create the timeline in your profile. Also note that USCIS goes by "Received date" :
 
Example
I-129 F Sent -  March 31, 2022
I-129 F Received - April 1, 2022 (NOA-1) 
I-129 F - Notice Date - April 4, 2022
 
In this example your NOA-1 should be April 1. This will help you fill out your timeline properly. 
 

 
 
 

 

Good list! Thanks for sharing!
 
The only one I would kinda disagree with is #1. Being prepared is good in terms of the other factors noted - being nervous, sharing too much information, etc. But for the core questions, I actually believe it is something one generally should not practice. An answer that appears rehearsed can go against you negatively as well.
I guess my suggestion would be "know your stuff, but don't rehearse it".

What petition?  You posted in the Work Visa forum.

Yeah, get the records to avoid delays. From my RFE:
 

My friend just got an RFE for this exact same situation! Get the paperwork of the dismissal that you need and send it if you haven't already!! She's had to go through hoops just to get this documentation!

It's on the 1st post of this thread. It's a Google drive doc. 

We are in the same boat. Here is what I know based on where you are now. 
1. You can complete the DS-160 print/email the confirmation page. Your fiance will need this for interview/scheduling.
2. the 134 form depending on your embassy may be uploaded or may need to be taken to the interview. This is embassy dependent is my understanding
3. The welcome letter is from the embassy and I believe that is considered packet 3. I think there is a form in this to request police report as well and should include medical facilities designated by them. You can check that on the website for the embassy in UK as well. I think I may have even checked the state department website for this.  (like you I have done so much research and between excitement and ensuring everything is done correctly it's getting a bit hazy)
4. Lastly-you will never go wrong by waiting until they inform you of what you need. However the tips and tricks spread sheet in your month NVC to embassy thread (22 pages of information) is very helpful.
Tip: on that spread sheet there's hack on tracking DHL mail sent. You should take a look at it. 
 
I hope that helps a bit.

VisaMedicals in London is the only accredited clinic for US visa applicants in the UK -- https://visamedicals.co.uk/united-states/
 
Once CEAC status turns "Ready", submit the DS-160 form, pay the MRV fee, then book the K1 visa interview appointment through the online portal -- https://ais.usvisa-info.com/en-gb/iv
 

The email from the embassy was basically a form style letter just letting us know that they received our case & that we were eligible to sign up for our interview. It also listed all of the steps required to be ready for the interview as well. They didn't request us to send any documents to them, but I assume that most embassies have a list of documents that they want on their website or you can simply use the generic list available on the US Travel Docs website. If I recall correctly, we were not allowed to schedule our interview on the website without completing the DS-160 & paying for our MRV fee. Once we completed those two steps, the website allowed us to schedule our interview date. After we did that, we were initially going to schedule our medical exam two weeks prior to our scheduled interview (as typically suggested)  but we noticed that earlier appointments would occasionally pop up when people canceled or rescheduled their interviews so we thought it was best to get our medical exam done immediately. This would allow us to grab any earlier appointments before our scheduled one. Keep in mind that the medical exam is only valid for 6 months, so make sure that when you do get it that there is a good chance that you'll be able to travel to the US before that 6 months is up. Also keep in mind that we are going through the US embassy in the Philippines. I am not sure if your country is handled exactly the same or not.

Thank goodness for VJ bc I was almost that person!!!

Hello...Welcome!
 
For those who have just filed your I-129f application with USCIS, this thread has been created for your needs and for you to be with others experiencing different aspects of this journey. This is a place to ask questions and to share experiences. All are here to learn together.
 
Stay patient because this is a long process currently running 11-13 months for your NOA2 or petition approval by USCIS (first stage). Then your petition will be sent to NVC (second stage) and finally your interview at the embassy (third stage).  Also, do not compare yourself to others....Some will receive NOA-2 faster than others, some will be stuck at NVC for longer and then finally some will receive interviews fairly quickly at embassy. STAY PATIENT! 
 
Please create the timeline in your profile. Also note that USCIS goes by "Received date" :
 
Example
I-129 F Sent -  May 2, 2022
I-129 F Received - May 5, 2022 (NOA-1) 
I-129 F - Notice Date - May 9, 2022
 
In this example your NOA-1 should be May 5. This will help you fill out your timeline properly. 
 

 
 
 

The people who go against VJ advice and send one thousand pages of WhatsApp are probably the stragglers.

I have no inside information on this...but my best guess is that it is entirely dependent on the speed of the person processing the case & the complexity of the cases that are ahead of yours. I am guessing that each processor is given a set of cases to work on (let's just say 100 cases per processor)...and they only get an additional set of cases to work on after they have completed the cases they currently have. With this kind of set up, this would explain why some cases move faster than others & seem to be going out of order. With so many new processors recently hired, it is likely that some processors simply work faster than others. Add in the fact that some cases are simply more complex than others & you can see how some cases may get stuck in a stack longer than others. 

Things move rather quickly with NVC and the local embassy. Today we got an email with instructions and required documents from the embassy (police certificate, medical exam) in order to set up an interview date.
 
Does anyone know the time validity of medical examinations? We are worried that we might get a date far down this year.

When you send the RFE back may be worth adding a short cover letter explaining aging out K2 and previous approved expedite (as well as your calling plan)
Also if it was a mistake (missing page) due to USCIS/NVC error, you're entitled to an expedite 

Below is direct lift from I-129F instructions

Two of the most common themes in the threads on here are - how to survive a long distance relationship with a long time apart, and how to survive the first few months in the USA. So my experience is that if you prepare and plan for your arrival or your fiance's arrival it can keep you so busy (assuming you are also living your usual life - work, eating, sleeping, talking to other human beings) that you find the time apart not so daunting. Plus you actually feel like you are doing something that you have control over, unlike USCIS and their weird processing times.


So this is a list for both petitioner and beneficiary and how you split preparation like this depends on your unique coupleness and your individual strengths and preferences - ie sometimes one partner is super organised and proactive - sometimes that's the USC, sometimes it's not. There may be other considerations like language issues, finances, etc etc. But I bet there's something in the lists below for everyone....


Before Arrival:

1. Prepare 'all the immigration stuff' - I'm not going to list it on here because it's all over the site in the guides, in the forums, in the wiki. But while you have all this waiting time get to know this stuff INSIDE OUT. At least one of you should know what to expect and do at every stage of the process so there are no horrible surprises. Read, research, Google it, double check it here and on the official USCIS, State Dept websites. Tell your other half everything you learn.


2. Prepare the non-immigration stuff:



Make a Budget Make a Budget Make a Budget

So important I said it three times.

- Discuss goals, needs, wants and realistic expectations

- Work out how much you will need, double it and then work out how to pay for everything and whether you can BOTH save like crazy, do extra shifts, get a second job while waiting for the visa to process so that you will be able to cover all the needs and wants.

- Remember needs and wants are not the same thing and you have to work with your own circumstance so all the below will not apply.


Budget for these first few months (both of you)

You will definitely need money for (K1s):

- wedding
- AOS process
- health insurance, costs while health insurance is being sorted out
- being out of work for three months, or more (or stay at home options for those who want this - this includes what access the non-working partner will have to funds and a budget for their needs)

You might want:

- job hunting costs
- home renovation projects
- second car, computer, phone and plan
- re-buying all the stuff which you forgot or couldn't bring with you
- fun stuff together - exploring the new area
- study costs - possible language courses etc
- driving costs - test taking, lessons, extra insurance


Do you need something else to do to fill your time? How about researching and getting info and resources for all the following this the new immigrant might need:



Services:
- doctor
- dentist
- optometrist
- other medical specialists
- hairdresser
- beauty/spa services
- vet for those bringing pets
- schools for those bringing kids
- gym / health club
- church


Tech/Communications:
- cell phone/plan
- computer
- home country TV service

Driving/Transport
- DMV manual
- Your state requirements
- Driving school
- Other transport options

Study/Work
- find courses, places to study
- work out requirements and if prep can start before moving
- work networking, research, resume prep, business cards?

Getting to know the area
- maps (digital and or the paper sort)
- books about the area

A Taste of Home
- food shops
- restaurants
- meetup groups
- how to access TV from home


My suggestion is define a place - a box, a drawer, a shelf, a folder on your computer - and start gathering all this info. A welcome box if you will for your new fiancee/wife. It will make the first few months smoother.


After Arrival:


1. Talk about goals, plan and how you want to structure your time. Do you both want to ease into the new situation with a vacation at the start. Work with your new arrival's personality type. Are they happy with a good book, Netflix and access to the Internet to fill in the alone time? Will they need more hand-holding. If yes, how are you going to arrange it?

Things you can do if you are in a new home, in a new country:


- relax and rest
That immigration journey was pretty grueling wasn't it, plus a huge international flight, all that packing and emotional goodbyes. Maybe a week chilling and catching up on sleep

- spend time together alone
After all that time and anguish apart - plan some quality time together. Not just trips to the SS office or DMV.

- house/home projects
If you've budgeted for this it can be a great way to feel at home - decorate and organise as a couple finally. I spent over three hours a day for the first two months decluttering all the old junk (ie. my husband's stuff) in the house.

- explore
walk, drive, cycle, shop, museums, art galleries, - if you think your partner would not enjoy this alone, try to organize some vacation from work, or draft a team of helpers - friends, family etc
If the USC works in a city or town and you can't drive yet, go into the town/city with them once or twice a week - hang out in the library, or coffee shop, take a laptop, or go shopping, meet them for lunch, read a book in the park. Get out of the house.

- meet wider family and friends
Plan parties and visits and fun things to do to introduce your partner into your wider world and community. My mother-in-law took me out in the car every week for the first few months and it was a fun bonding experience.

- driving
Whether it's practice, lessons, studying the guide getting the licence sorted etc

- finding work
Even if you can't actually work yet there's hours of stuff you can do to prepare before the EAD/Greencard comes. Update your resume, update all online options like LinkedIn etc, get business cards printed, go to networking events, organize informational interviews at the types of places you'd like to work, see if you can shadow someone at a company you'd like to work. Find out if you need to acquire more skills etc

- study
Learn something new - either useful or fun. Use local community resources or do an online course.

- volunteer

- hobbies
Music, art, creating/making, gardening, reading, writing, blogging, sports, play poker online - I don't know whatever thrills you. When was the last time you had enforced leisure time - try to enjoy it.


I'm sure other people have loads more ideas.......

You just need to wait until after January when the shot requirement is going away. For AOS - include the waiver for shots.
 
And there's nothing wrong if you and your future spouse do not want to take covid (or any other) shots. That's what waivers are for. 

http://www.visajourney.com/timeline/monthly_filers.php?form=1&visa=1&scenter=1&option=2&sortby=2
 
Many of these older cases are simply not getting updated.
You can click on them to see when member last logged on. 
If not logged on in August or September then I would not even considered them as unapproved just take them out of the equation/count.
Wish there was a way to sort for that to get a better idea of how many ACTIVE VJ members are still waiting for each of the prior 4 months or so  (Jan, Feb, March, April, NOA 1's )

Hi all,
 
I often heard about the limbo state after one has moved over to the US, got married and have applied for their AOS. I am wondering what are we allowed to do during this period of time. Maybe people who are going through it can shed some light.
 
Can we do the below whilst waiting for our AOS?
 
Buy a car Apply for a driving license (Oklahoma in my case) Open a bank account Buy property or land Work  Have a medical insurance (not job-related if working isn't possible)  
 

Fairness has nothing to do with it.
Its why you need to know the consequences of what you are doing before you do it.
The law and intent of WOM is very clearly stated. It is to force /require a decision ..  but it does NOT require the process to be “ expedited” or pushed through 
 
I used to use the same reasoning with my kids ( now in their 40s)   They would want my decision now.   I would offer them this 
“ If you want my answer now, it will be No.. if you are prepared to wait until i am ready to decide, it might be Yes.” 
They always chose to wait   Clever wise bunnies 🤪

Many have unfortunately waited longer  

https://youtu.be/FVBMAiTQLd0?t=826
 
Immigration lawyer advises suing to speed up progress for k1 at the 12 month mark. But USCIS website says waiting time is 15.5 months. Can we really sue at 12 months or is lawyer just drumming up business? May be worth it saving 3.5 months. Backlog just keeps growing. 

I don’t know anyone that has done this, but I think just getting a letter from the religious authority outlining why it’s forbidden, specifying what ethnic group/religion/ etc forbids this. Explaining what is done instead (e.g. phone calls), also explaining how meeting would be detrimental/dishonor cultural values. 
 
Might be helpful to get a letter from someone that conducts legal marriages that can attest that they have conducted marriages of this type.