TBoneTX

Let him rot there.

It is Wednesday! To give a laugh and to prompt approvals (that is, if correlation = causation), here is our Semiofficial Semiweekly VAWA-Thread Joke: =========================================== THE RUDE CUSTOMER A man went into a restaurant and was seated. All of the waitresses were gorgeous. A particularly beautiful waitress came to his table. "What would you like, sir?" she asked. The man looked at the menu, looked at her, then answered, "A quickie." The waitress turned and walked away in disgust. After she regained her composure, she returned and asked again, "What would you like, sir?" Again the man looked at her and answered, "A quickie, please." This time, the waitress' anger took over -- she slapped him across the face with a resounding SMACK and stormed away. A man sitting at the next table leaned over and whispered, "Uh, I think it's pronounced 'quiche.'"

This thread is old, and the OP hasn't logged on to VJ since October, so a reply is unlikely. Consider sending the OP a private message or starting a fresh thread in this forum.

White House Reporters Mystified By Press Secretary Who Answers Questions [...] "What… what is this madness?" asked Fox News White House correspondent Peter Doocy. "I should go get myself checked out by a doctor. I must be hallucinating. I had some type of waking dream today where I was in the White House briefing room, and there was this blonde woman there. And… and I asked her a question… and she just… answered. She just answered the question. There's no way it was real, right? That doesn't happen, does it?" [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/white-house-reporters-mystified-by-press-secretary-who-answers-questions

10 Ways Deporting Illegal Immigrants Will Devastate The U.S. As wonderful as the "New Golden Age" has been the past week, it's now painfully evident that President Trump's immigration policies will quickly destroy life in America. As the media will gladly tell you, deporting illegal aliens will spell certain doom for the U.S. Unfortunately, they're right. The Babylon Bee has put together the following list of guaranteed ways deporting illegal immigrants will devastate the country: [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/10-ways-deporting-illegal-immigrants-will-devastate-the-us

Trump Reminds Colombian President He Wants Two Coats Of Wax On His Limousine WASHINGTON, D.C. — Following a brief dust-up and threats of a trade war over the weekend stemming from the U.S.'s new policy of rounding up and returning illegal aliens to their countries of origin, Donald Trump was overheard reminding Colombian President Gustavo Petro that he wanted two coats of wax on his limousine. President Petro had reportedly offered to fly in early Monday morning and wash Trump's presidential limousine in an effort to smooth things over after initially standing in defiance of Trump's goal of repatriating Colombian nationals who had entered the U.S. illegally. "Just remember, Gustavo, that's two coats of wax on the limo, okay?" Trump was heard shouting outside. [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/trump-reminds-colombian-president-he-wants-two-coats-of-wax-on-his-limousine

Thanks To Trump Ending DEI, The Babylon Bee Is Finally Able To Fire Its Only Female Writer U.S. — The Babylon Bee would like to publicly thank President Donald Trump for making good on his promise to get rid of all those DEI rules, allowing us to take immediate action and fire our only female writer. We were sick of her not being funny but needed a good reason to get rid of her without having all those DEI employment people breathing down our necks. The office is going to go back to what it was intended to be in the first place: a gentleman's club full of fine cigars, strong beer, darts, a billiards table, and maybe we'll even get one of those armchairs that recline fully and has drink holders on both sides. We were forced to hire a girl writer after [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/thanks-to-trump-ending-dei-the-babylon-bee-is-finally-able-to-fire-its-only-female-writer

Phew: Trump Announces Immigrants Working Taco Trucks Can Stay WASHINGTON, D.C. — The nation breathed a sigh of collective relief today as Trump announced that any immigrant working a taco truck would be spared from deportation. Regardless of immigration status, any migrant found to be actively engaged in cooking or serving tacos out of a truck will be allowed to stay in the United States, so long as they continue providing the world with tacos. "They are fine, the taco truck people," said Trump. [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/phew-trump-announces-immigrants-working-taco-trucks-can-stay

Sad: With Border Closed, This Murderer Now Forced To Do All His Murderin' In Mexico PIEDRAS NEGRAS — Lost in the furor over the Trump administration's immediate implementation of plans to round up and deport illegal aliens throughout the United States and close the border was the plight of a murderer who said he was now forced to do all his murderin' in Mexico. Oscar Gonzalez, a career criminal, has set his sights on entering the United States in early 2025 in search of a brighter future of murdering Americans instead of Mexicans. He was devastated, however, to discover that the election of Donald Trump all but shattered his dreams and left him with no choice but to stay in Mexico for his vicious streak of killings. "No bueno," Gonzalez said when interviewed through the border fencing. [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/sad-with-border-closed-this-murderer-now-forced-to-do-all-his-murderin-in-mexico

Aw, Man: Columbia Student Just Graduated With DEI Degree NEW YORK CITY — Prospects have dimmed considerably for local woman Violet Weber, who just graduated in December from Columbia with a degree in Diversity, Equity and Inclusion Studies. With DEI programs being abolished across the country, the outlook for people trained to root out neo-colonial white power structures has never been worse. "Really, really poor timing here," sighed Weber as she filled out another Wendy's application. [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/aw-man-columbia-student-just-graduated-with-dei-degree

Fire Survivors Drive Back Toward Flames After Hearing Kamala Speak LOS ANGELES, CA — After briefly listening to former Vice President Kamala Harris speak, survivors of the Los Angeles fires hopped back in their cars and drove directly into the flames. Harris flew directly to California after leaving office to speak to those forced to flee their homes, but her cackling quickly sent residents fleeing back into the fiery cauldron. "Give me the fire any day," said local man Daniel Miller, after thirty seconds of listening to Harris. [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/fire-survivors-drive-back-toward-flames-after-hearing-kamala-speak

Equal Employment Opportunity Commission Dead in the Water After Trump Fires Two Commissioners President Trump followed up his rampage through the National Labor Relations Board (Trump Goes Pearl Harbor on the National Labor Relations Board, Fires Chairman and General Counsel) by firing two Equal Employment Opportunity Commissioners and its general counsel. The newly reduced EEOC can no longer bring enforcement actions or initiate rulemaking as it doesn't have a quorum. [...] https://redstate.com/streiff/2025/01/28/equal-employment-opportunity-commission-dead-in-the-water-after-trump-fires-two-commissioners-n2184932

Comments? ~~~~~~~~~ Art of the Deal: Trump Admin. Offers Buyouts to 2 Million Federal Employees There's good news for federal employees who were unhappy to learn they were expected to return to working in the office under the new Trump administration: They have another option — a buyout. [...] https://redstate.com/smoosieq/2025/01/28/art-of-the-deal-trump-admin-offers-buyouts-to-2-million-federal-employees-n2184926

The above was split from a now-locked old thread in this forum.

The OP hasn't returned for ~15 months, so a reply is unlikely.

Thrilling Tuesday report, see man: Dropped Mini-B. at elementary skool for Band recruitment, great way to miss his real classes man. This was at o'dark-Many, and need-zzz we man. Breakfast/lunch was a turkey-&-cheese sandwich, ingest we man. Took Mama T-B. to doc, caucus senior she man with MD man. Mama T-B. "healthy for her age," this can be quite relative man. While checking her mail, we found discarded Subway coupons, man. Had Many errands but beelined to casa for a much-needed siesta, zzz we man. Din-din was onebag nuked corn, nuked leftover breaded chicken strips, and nuked unbreaded chicken strips, ingest Two Guys man. Mini-B. immediately deduced that we served store-brand r'b'r, can't get anything by wee man man. No movie night, no man. Mini-B. used his birthday money to download new computer games, intensely gaming wee man man. No word from any ICs, JCs, rubias, or anyone else attractive or unattractive, no man. Must arise at o'dark-Many again on Wednesday for Band sectionals, man. Must arise at o'dark-Many AGAIN on Thursday for e-skool Band recruitment, man. This one is rather more far away, arise even earlier than o'dark-Many man. No party with the rubias tonight, no cavort we man. And that was/is our thrilling Tuesday, report we man.

Very true. Just a little could have put people's minds at ease.

Truly amazing, but not to be unexpected. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Bill Melugin Reports There's Something Happening at the Southern Border He's Never Seen Before Bill Melugin of Fox News is reporting border crossing numbers are plummeting like he's never seen before. It's a pretty safe bet President Donald Trump's immigration law enforcement is making would-be illegal aliens have second thoughts. Melugin goes into detail here. (READ) [...] https://twitchy.com/warren-squire/2025/01/28/bill-melugin-low-border-crossing-numbers-n2407429

Possibly also stripping a star. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ YES! Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth REVOKES Gen. Mark Milley's Security Clearance Gen. Mark Milley is retired, but on his way out the door, The Atlantic did a feature interview with him headlined, "THE PATRIOT: How General Mark Milley protected the Constitution from Donald Trump." If The Atlantic is slobbering over Milley like that, you know something's not right with the guy. Not to mention that in 2021, MSNBC's Joy Reid called Milley "the greatest patriot that was on duty during the previous administration." Now we're hearing that new Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth has stripped Milley of his security clearance and security detail. [...] https://twitchy.com/brettt/2025/01/28/yes-defense-secretary-pete-hegseth-revokes-gen-mark-milleys-security-clearance-n2407494

Watch Tom Homan SCHOOL Reporter Who Complained Deportees Aren't Getting Water on Flights You'd think after Tom Homan humiliated an NBC reporter over deportations in churches and schools they'd stop asking him stupid 'gotcha' questions. But media aren't smart, and the narrative is more important than their dignity, apparently. Which is why Homan SHUT DOWN a reporter trying the bleeding heart sob story line of questioning again: [...] https://twitchy.com/amy-curtis/2025/01/28/tom-homan-puts-reporter-in-her-place-when-she-says-deportees-arent-getting-enough-water-n2407476

Wow! ~~~~~~~~ Trump's Massive Week One Illegal Immigration Crackdown: The Numbers Are In In just his first week back in office, President Trump's Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) isn't wasting any time getting to work, and ICE is crazy transparent about its success. Since Trump’s third day in office, ICE and the Department of Homeland Security have been posting daily updates on immigration enforcement, like these: [...] https://pjmedia.com/matt-margolis/2025/01/28/trumps-massive-week-one-illegal-immigration-crackdown-the-numbers-are-in-n4936443

The Babylon Bee might've gotten it right yet again! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ We Finally Get Some Answers About the Wild New Jersey Drones Thanks to Trump Dozens, then hundreds, then thousands of mysterious drones—some the size of refrigerators and compact cars—filled the skies over New Jersey and then they were everywhere. They hovered over homes, freaked out local elected officials, and caused mass panic. The Biden Administration offered no answers. We heard they were prompted by Iran from a "mothership" off the coast. We were told they were Chinese spy drones. Were they hobbyists or malefactors, friend or foe? Nobody knew. And then, suddenly, the drones stopped, Christmas came and went, and America turned the page. But when he was running for president, Donald Trump promised to find out what the hell was going on and report back. [...] https://pjmedia.com/victoria-taft/2025/01/28/we-finally-get-some-answers-about-the-wild-drone-activity-before-election-thanks-to-trump-n4936456

This article might leave us grinning like a tomcat in a creamery. JDV is cool. ~~~~~~~~~~ 'I Don't Care, Margaret': JD Vance's MAGA Mic Drop Moment The clash couldn't have been scripted any better. The occasion was Vice President J.D. Vance's first interview since taking office, a sit-down with Margaret Brennan of CBS News. The anchor pressed him on the White House pause of refugee resettlement operations, reminding Vance of his past support for admitting into the country those who were "properly vetted." The vice president replied that the efficacy of the entire screening process was in doubt, pointing to an Afghan national recently arrested for plotting a terror attack in Oklahoma as an example. The subsequent crescendo launched a thousand memes and highlight reels on the right that one giddy conservative pundit compared to the coverage Michael Jordan got on ESPN during his prime. "It wasn't clear if he was radicalized when he got here," Brennan started to say of the terror suspect who came to the United States after the Afghanistan withdrawal and several rounds of vetting. "I don't really care, Margaret," interrupted Vance. This was the mic drop moment the White House wanted. [...] https://www.realclearpolitics.com/articles/2025/01/28/i_dont_care_margaret_jd_vance_has_a_mic_drop_moment.html

Saboteurs! ~~~~~~~~~~ Trump Places More Than 50 USAID Officials on Leave The Trump administration has placed more than 50 career civil servants and foreign service officers on administrative leave after receiving information that they may have been conspiring to circumvent Trump's executive orders requiring the halting of federal aid funds to overseas programs and all diversity, equity, and inclusion programs within the agency. Jason Gray, acting agency administrator, placed the individuals in question on paid administrative leave so he can conduct an investigation into the matter, according to an agency-wide email Gray sent Monday afternoon and first obtained by RealClearPolitics. [...] https://www.realclearpolitics.com/articles/2025/01/28/trump_places_more_than_50_usaid_officials_on_leave__152266.html

This is an incisive, insightful summary of Pres. Trump's specific and general nomination approaches. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ GOP senators shouldn't fall for Pence's subterfuge against RFK, Jr. Harry Truman was a man who was able to put principles ahead of prejudices, for he was an old-fashioned Southern racist and antisemite who integrated the military and recognized the State of Israel. The RINO wing of the Republican party appears incapable of that type of wisdom, for it seems driven less by principles than by its members' hatred for Donald Trump. Nowhere is that more evident than in the Mike Pence wing's opposition to Trump's DNI nominee, Tulsi Gabbard, and his HHS nominee, Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. At one level, both of those nominations are simple political payback: Gabbard and Kennedy broke with the Democrats and threw their support behind Trump when he needed it. However, Trump is not engaged in a shallow quid pro quo. Were that the case, he could have given each an ambassadorship sinecure to some cozy, untroubled country. Instead, Trump is doing something Machiavellian and very wise: The reason that Gabbard and Kennedy jumped ship is because the Biden government persecuted them. [...] https://www.americanthinker.com/blog/2025/01/gop_senators_shouldn_t_fall_for_pence_s_subterfuge_against_rfk_jr.html