TBoneTX

Deaths Caused By Hurricane Hilary To Be Labeled Suicides LOS ANGELES, CA — As Hurricane Hilary prepares to make landfall in Southern California, the World Meteorological Organization has announced that all deaths resulting from the storm will be ruled as suicides. [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/deaths-caused-by-hurricane-hilary-to-be-labeled-suicides

Secret Service Says They Are Unable To Identify Man Meeting With Oligarchs In Oval Office Under Alias 'Robert L. Peters' WASHINGTON, D.C. — Despite launching an extensive investigation and having access to visitor logs of everyone who enters or exits the room, Secret Service agents have announced they are unable to identify the individual who has been meeting with foreign oligarchs in the Oval Office under the name "Robert L. Peters." [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/secret-service-unable-to-identify-person-sending-emails-from-oval-office-using-alias-robert-l-peters

Californians Prepare For Hurricane By Nailing Plywood Boards Onto Their Tent Flaps SAN FRANCISCO, CA — As Hurricane Hilary looms off the shores of the Golden State, Californians are rushing to prepare by nailing plywood boards onto their tent flaps and filling sandbags to protect their cardboard boxes. [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/californians-prepare-for-hurricane-by-nailing-plywood-boards-onto-their-tent-flaps

What Happened to a Homeowner Who Tried to Evict Squatters From His House Will Shock You A homeowner in the Atlanta suburbs was arrested for trespassing on his own property as he tried to evict squatters from his home [...] https://townhall.com/tipsheet/madelineleesman/2023/08/18/homeowner-arrested-trying-to-evict-squatters-from-his-own-property-n2627140

UN Says North Korea May Be on the Verge of Another Mass Starvation U.N. High Commissioner for Human Rights Volker Türk said North Korea is growing more repressive amid reports of mass starvation. He claims that the famine may get as bad as the catastrophic starvation of the late 1990s that may have killed upwards of three million people. [...] https://pjmedia.com/news-and-politics/rick-moran/2023/08/18/un-says-north-korea-may-be-on-the-verge-of-another-mass-starvation-n1720341

'He Literally Just Strolled in and Did It': Female Powerlifter Vents After Trans Male Destroys Record A female competitive powerlifter is absolutely furious after a transgender athlete just set a new record in the women's division. And she has absolutely every right to blow steam out of her ears over this. The "transgender athlete" in question is a biological male claiming to be a female. [...] https://pjmedia.com/culture/michaelcantrell/2023/08/18/he-literally-just-strolled-in-and-did-it-female-powerlifter-vents-after-trans-male-destroys-record-n1720382

Report: Biden Obsesses Over Coverage of Hunter, Aides Afraid to Even Mention the Prodigal Son CNN pundit John Avlon said Thursday that President Biden is "very obsessed" with news coverage of his son Hunter's legal woes, adding that White House aides are afraid to even discuss the issue because they're worried it will irritate the Commander in Chief. [...] https://redstate.com/bobhoge/2023/08/18/report-biden-obsessed-over-coverage-of-son-hunter-aides-afraid-to-even-mention-him-n2162765

Biden's Trilateral Summit Press Conference Is a Mess, He Even Attacks Putting 'America First' Joe Biden was at Camp David on Friday for a trilateral summit with President Yoon Suk Yeol of the Republic of Korea and Prime Minister Fumio Kishida of Japan. After meeting with them, they then held a joint press conference. It was just a mess, even by Joe Biden's standards. [...] https://redstate.com/nick-arama/2023/08/18/biden-holds-joint-press-conference-and-its-a-just-a-mess-n2162787

Thrilling Friday non-GS/ES report, see man: After ES-ing, lunched at Olive Garden, amazingly spontaneous choice for us man. Weekday lunch special = $Many ($2x2x2 +2+1), surprising deal man. Consumed gigantic salad, chicken parmigiana + spaghetti, 2 breadsticks, ingest we man. With tip, cost $Many ($2x2x2 +2+2+1), cheaper than any Chinese buffet man. We might do this again, conclude we man. Sneaked in a siesta before maid was supposed to show up, rushed zzz we man. Casa is so utterly & disgustingly clean, commit us to mental asylum now man. Miu wonders where all her souvenir miu-hair went, bewildered miu man. Researched CD rates, one of ours coming due soon man. Found one for Many.Many% -- $i man, Many.Many% -- if they'll cater to out-of-towners man. Din-din was onecan Costco roast beef, ingest we while fending off intensely interested miu man. For Saturday, we have itineraried Many (2+2) ESs & a GS on a logical but long route, road-trip we man. Party with the rubias later, cavort we man.

Maid showed up, she man. Did usual decent job for good rate, $i man. Said that the miu-hair overwhelmed the casa, believe it we man.

Maid is now nearly 2 hours late, killed ourself to return in time man. This is excessive even when considering Spanish-people time, sigh man...

Friday GS/ES report, see man: First ES = a waste, yawn man Second ES = a waste, yawn man GS = a waste, yawn man Total = $0

HOW TO CLEAN A CAT 1. Thoroughly clean the toilet. 2. Add a requisite amount of shampoo to the toilet tank. 3. Find the cat and carry him to the bathroom. 4. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids (you may need to stand on the lid so that he cannot escape). CAUTION: Do not get any part of your body too close to the edge, as his paws will be reaching out for anything he can find. 5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "power wash and rinse" that has been found to be quite effective. 6. Have someone open the door to the outside and ensure that there are no people between the toilet and the outside door. 7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids. 8. The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet and run outside, where he will dry himself.

Yee-HAAAAA! [Note to T-B.'s self: Jokes worked again... jokes worked again... ]

Why don't we let California serve as the testing-ground for 100% EV usage, without state or Federal subsidies, and see how practicable all this is -- before cramming EVs down everyone else's throat?

Isn't this just a little demeaning, and also inaccurate to describe Birthing-Persons in a Postmenopausal Status?

Georgia Indicts Millions Of Voters For Conspiring To Elect Trump [...] "These MAGA voters committed the heinous act of disagreeing with the ruling elites, which threatens the bedrock of democracy itself. In order to keep Donald Trump from regaining power, we must deal with his legion of domestic terrorist voters. No one is above the laws that we made up for this indictment." [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/georgia-indicts-every-trump-voter-for-conspiring-to-elect-an-election-denier

Mom Remembers A Simpler Time When She Didn't Have To Size Up Every Teacher At Back-To-School Night To See Which One Might Try To Secretly Gender Transition Her Child https://babylonbee.com/news/mom-remembers-a-simpler-time-when-she-didnt-have-to-size-up-every-teacher-at-back-to-school-night-to-see-which-one-might-try-to-secretly-gender-transition-her-child

California Achieves World's First Crime Rate Of Zero After Legalizing All Crime [...] "This is a great moment for our state," Governor Gavin Newsom said. "No other state in the nation's history has successfully brought the crime rate down to nothing. California is once again leading the way! Now, please [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/california-achieves-worlds-first-crime-rate-of-zero-as-all-crime-is-legal-now

Biden Says Anyone Struggling To Buy A House Should Just Try Setting Up 20 Shell Companies To Launder Money From China CAMP DAVID — With mortgage interest rates continuing to climb and home ownership increasingly out of reach for many Americans, President Joe Biden offered insightful financial advice to anyone struggling to buy a house in the current economic climate, suggesting they simply set up 20 shell companies and begin laundering money from the Chinese government. [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/biden-says-anyone-struggling-to-buy-a-house-should-just-try-setting-up-20-shell-companies-to-launder-money-from-china

Biden finally says he will visit Maui. But first, a six-day Lake Tahoe vacation After public pressure and an ill-considered "no comment" when asked about the rising death toll in Maui, Joe Biden now says he will visit Maui in the wake of its catastrophic wildfires. [...] But first, another restful vacation in Lake Tahoe, California, reportedly for six days. [...] https://www.americanthinker.com/blog/2023/08/biden_finally_says_he_will_visit_maui_but_first_a_lake_tahoe_vacation.html

Wow! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Those EV Shortcomings Aren't Shortcomings at All [...] The modern Left has a dream – that soon, very soon, every vehicle in the world will be electric, running on a heavy, cobalt-laden, lithium battery that needs to be charged up somewhere with electricity derived from an out-of-sight coal plant. [...] https://www.americanthinker.com/articles/2023/08/those_ev_shortcomings_arent_shortcomings_at_all.html

Man's Hellish Family Trip With an Electric Truck Is a Warning to All About These Vehicles [...] Dalbir Bala, a resident of Winnipeg, bought an electric Ford F-150 for $85,000 and was forced to abandon it after [...] https://townhall.com/tipsheet/mattvespa/2023/08/17/biggest-scam-of-modern-times-dad-bought-an-electric-truck-things-turned-out-poorly-n2627070

I'm guessing suicides or reactions to the Covid-1984 shots. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 17 People Died on One Military Base Just This Year, but the Air Force Won't Say Why [...] According to the Daily Caller, the base would not provide details about how 17 people working at the base have died from what they called "various causes," going on to say that several of the deaths were still currently under investigation. Gee, that doesn't sound suspicious or anything. [...] https://pjmedia.com/news-and-politics/michaelcantrell/2023/08/17/17-people-died-on-one-military-base-just-this-year-but-the-air-force-wont-say-why-n1720147

I'm mystified how anyone could see benefit in this undertaking. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ During the pandemic LA moved homeless people into hotels and it went about as well as you'd expect The Mayfair Hotel in Los Angeles was built in 1926. It underwent a four-year-long renovation and reopened in 2018. And then the pandemic hit about 16 months later. That was when LA announced a new program called Project Roomkey designed to stop the spread of COVID among the homeless by moving them off the streets and into hotel rooms the city would pay for. The Mayfair became one of the hotels used for this purpose. [...] https://hotair.com/john-s-2/2023/08/17/during-the-pandemic-la-moved-homeless-people-into-hotels-and-it-went-about-as-well-as-youd-expect-n571827