TBoneTX

Yee-HAAAAA! (That's Texan for "Congratulations!") Printed from your phone, or (wow) were you allowed to bring your phone in?

Thanks for creating the thread! I'll edit the title slightly, for clarity. The timing of this phase aside, it's definitely the easiest in most instances... and most important. A small-yet-satisfying benefit at the end is to fill in the final box of your VJ timeline.

Wonderful!

'Just Complete This 50-Page Questionnaire,' Says Hospital Clerk To Man With Axe Embedded In Skull TOPEKA, KS — A kindly hospital clerk asked local man Jonathan Arnold to please fill out the brief 50-page intake form, promising they would then get right to addressing the axe embedded in his skull. The clerk then asked for Arnold's insurance information, stating it would only take 20 minutes to run his benefits so that a doctor could take a look at the hunk of metal in his cranium. "Just hold really, really still so the axe doesn't move while you finish these forms," said the clerk, Sharon Maxwell. "Oh, and don't forget the pages are all front and back. [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/just-complete-this-50-page-questionnaire-says-hospital-clerk-to-man-with-axe-embedded-in-skull

Minnesotans Begin Fleeing To Somalia To Escape Violence MOGADISHU — Minnesotans have begun fleeing in droves to Somalia to escape the escalating threat of violence. As the streets of Minneapolis once again descended into chaos, hundreds of families packed their bags and headed for the safety of Mogadishu. "We had to run for it," said longtime Minnesota residents David and Jeannie Grey. "There are militias roaming the streets, setting up checkpoints -- in Minneapolis, that is. I mean, there's some of that too in Somalia, but it's [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/minnesotans-begin-fleeing-to-somalia-to-escape-violence

Minnesota Arrests Churchgoers For Interrupting Protest [...] Minnesota leaders ordered the arrest of churchgoers for interrupting a leftist protest. Following the incident in which journalist Don Lemon and a mob of protesters barged into a Saint Paul church during a worship service, state and city officials vowed to deal with the problem, culminating in criminal charges being brought against the members of the church's congregation. "We can't allow our sacred protests to be violated in such a hateful way," said Minnesota Governor Tim Walz. "Part of our job as elected officials is [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/minnesota-arrests-churchgoers-for-interrupting-protest

It's Started: Oxford Imposing '15-Minute City' Driving Limits With Fines For Going Outside Your Zone Remember when we were warning you that "15-Minute Cities" were not just about ensuring that you CAN live in a nice, walkable, and convenient city, but rather that they were about restricting mobility and controlling where you are able to go? Naah, we were told, that is conspiracy theory thinking. Next you will tell us that the elite wants us to "own nothing and be happy," just like the communists promised. Well, sorry to tell you this, but we were right. Again. [...] https://hotair.com/david-strom/2026/01/30/its-started-oxford-imposing-15-minute-city-driving-limits-with-fines-for-going-outside-your-zone-n3811392

Great news!

Too much winning. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ President Trump Announces a Major Trade Deal With India President Trump has unveiled the latest in his string of high-profile trade agreements, this time with India, a country swiftly moving from a developing economy toward a leading economic powerhouse in Asia. Under the new agreement, India will shift away from Russian oil, turning instead to supplies from the U.S. and Venezuela, while tariffs on Indian goods drop from 25 percent to 18 percent. The deal also locks in commitments for India to significantly increase its purchases of American products, marking a major win for U.S. trade and influence in Asia. "It was an Honor to speak with Prime Minister Modi, of India, this morning," President Trump wrote on Truth Social. "He is [...] https://townhall.com/tipsheet/dmitri-bolt/2026/02/02/trade-deal-with-india-n2670529

Costa Rica elected a chica president, and this chica author writes phenomenal stuff about Latin America that we won't read anywhere else. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Costa Rica Voted in a New President, and Something Kind of Wild Happened As I mentioned in my New Monroe Doctrine Column on Friday, Costa Rica was set to go to the polls on Sunday and vote in a new president. It was highly likely that Laura Fernández, the conservative, would win, though it wasn't clear that she would get enough votes to avoid a run-off because there were so many candidates — something like 20 — and because there were many, many undecided voters heading into the weekend. Well, Fernández won, so no real surprises there, but how she won is incredibly interesting and yet another sign of the times in the Western Hemisphere. [...] https://pjmedia.com/sarah-anderson/2026/02/02/costa-rica-voted-in-a-new-president-and-something-kind-of-wild-happened-n4949010

Multiple instances of hypocrisy are pointed out here. I like the author's use of "cringing weasels." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Masked Leftists Assault Reporter for Filming Anti-ICE Roadblock A group of masked leftist protesters in insurrection-plagued Minneapolis not only set up a blockade to interfere illegally in ICE operations, some of the protesters also assaulted a Daily Caller reporter filming their actions. The layers of hypocrisy in the incident below are intense. First of all, you have people who object to lawful borders setting up unlawful borders. Secondly, we see people who love to justify their violence by claiming they are filming federal operations then violently assaulting someone who was simply filming their activities. [...] https://pjmedia.com/catherinesalgado/2026/02/02/masked-leftists-assault-reporter-for-filming-anti-ice-roadblock-n4949023

I think that the illegal Ecu should be released on the exact date of the judge's order. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Judge Ordered Illegal Alien Criminal Released on a Date That Doesn't Exist The woke judge who ordered the Trump administration to release the illegal alien father who abandoned his kid to escape justice dated his outrageous order for a calendar day that does not and has never existed in reality. [...] https://pjmedia.com/catherinesalgado/2026/02/02/judge-ordered-illegal-alien-criminal-released-on-a-date-that-doesnt-exist-n4949011

The Abigail Spanberger Bait-and-Switch During the 2025 gubernatorial election the voters of Virginia believed they were choosing between pragmatic Democrat Rep. Abigail Spanberger and lackluster Republican Lieutenant Gov. Winsome Earle-Sears. The former was well funded and portrayed favorably by the corporate "news" media as a centrist, while the latter struggled to raise money and was labeled an extremist because of her strong support of gun rights. In the end, Spanberger won by double digits, and most Virginians thought they were getting a slightly more liberal governor than her predecessor, Glenn Youngkin. Yet the moment she took office, it became obvious that Gov. Spanberger was no moderate. Immediately upon assuming office, [...] https://spectator.org/the-abigail-spanberger-bait-and-switch/

Thrilling Monday report, see man: We awoke to the alarm and wished we could've over-zzz'd it, need-zzz we man. Had to arise for the casa-repainters, dutiful we man. Miu was on the active side but certainly not as aysheep as Sunday, non-aysheep miu man. Painters started on time as usual, Many (2x2x2 +1) a.m. man. They finished the body & trim of the entire casa by Many (2+2+1) p.m., amazed we man. We paid project manager and were sorry in a way that this relationship has ended, highly positive man. We must leave Google review, view and review we man. We now are windowed and have a nicely sided/painted casa, satisfied we man. Our neighbor tells us that we paid what HE paid Many (2x2x2) years ago, F$WM. We sent paid invoice to HOA management co. for ultimate reimbursement, close book on this story man. "Fotos or it didn't happen, see or no man," see or no man man. We can't post fotos here any longer, overcapacitized long ago we man. However, for those interested, the colors are as follows, Sherwin-Williams man: -- Body, see man: SW Many1Many2, Coastal Plain man -- Trim, see man: SW ManyManyMany0, Courtyard man The neighbors will be, uh, green with envy, hee hee hee man. Breakfast/lunch was 2 ham-&-cheese sandwiches, ingest we man. A siesta was taken, semi-successful zzz we man. Mini-B. showed up, per skoolbus issue discussed above, q.v. man. He thoroughly inspected the casa paint, inspect wee man man. After contemplation, he ultimately concluded that he approves, big relief man. Ex-Mrs.-T-B. lobbied for white, boring ex-she man man. However, she too will probably approve, predict we man. Ex-Mrs.-T-B. busy entrepreneuring on other side of town, aysheep ex-she man man. We therefore chauffeured Mini-B. back to her casa, only instance of our leaving the casa man. Din-din was TG, ingest we man. Mama T-B. called Many (2+1) times, call senior she man we man man. We put Mini-B. on the line with her and she forgot all about yelling at us, one good use for a Manyager man. The painters left us almost onecan of trim paint and a giant vat of body paint, leftovers man. We opportuned the chance to off-clean our long-ignored paint shelf in the garage, what's even there man. We found some weird stuff, when the dickens was THIS ever used, and for what man. We kept onecan of furniture-stain and toucans of white flat enamel, keep we man. All others were curbsided in the garbage bin, curbside we man. We hope that they'll dump out without coming open, otherwise paint inside of garbage bin man. They're old enough that we suspect glued-on lids, looked solid to us man. We also trashed a giant bag of "guaranteed" grass seed that never worked once, man. No party with the rubias tonight, no cavort we man. Must visit Mama T-B. on Tuesday, should've done so today man. She still knows zero about our casa renovations, no clue man. If we told her how much we paid, she'd get her wish and die of a heart attack, pinch-pennying senior she man man. We shall now apply ourself to Mama T-B.'s taxes, self-apply we man. And that was/is our thrilling Monday, report we man.

Wasn't the place shut down, huh man? Nothing like advertising "Here I am, see man -- come deport me, si man!", no man.

Woo-hoo!

Congratulations! This is typically the easiest portion of the process, by a mile. As you've done throughout the process, read carefully, interpret literally, and react completely. Take what they say. This appears to be a universal policy-change. Relax -- your time will come.

Within the hour, we wrote to the Executive DiRectum of Transpurtayshuh, response pending man.

We are off-urinated, we man. Last week, skoolbus stoopervisor sent e-mail to say that Mini-B. is eligible to ride only the skoolbus to our casa, not to ex-Mrs.-T-B.'s casa man. This is because our address is the one in skool records, only one record permitted man. We wrote to acknowledge "eligibility" and to request authorization to ride either skoolbus, write we man. Stoopervisor wrote curtly to repeat what he'd said, man. We wrote back to re-request authorization, no response man. Mini-B.'s skool ID is scanned before entry to skoolbuses, scan they man. He will be denied entry to any other skoolbus, man. Stoopervisor is rather dismissive, conclude we man. This can't be the ONLY instance of split custody, no man. We are quandaried as to next step, advice please man.

Cute gato, si mam ma'am!

Good luck. Keep us apprised.

Awful.

, mam ma'am. This would render us subservient to a chica, mam ma'am. Fotos or it didn't happen, see or no mam ma'am. Sounds like Canadia is a Many'rd-world country, huh mam ma'am? They are either flexibly stoic or utter wimps, verily wot man. Unless it's 2, 1, 0, -1, or -2 F., it is Many-degree weather, si and see and mam ma'am.

Perfect time to stand outside Walmart in time for opening, man. Whoops -- LPoP and unread, no see we or anyone man. If we were to read this, we would recommend a luxurious, American-made Pre-Owned Toilet Seat*, si man. *available just for you at a handsome 0.0000001% discount off full retail, man We like him sight-unseen, F$WM.

Be sure to report back!