Quarknase

FILE I-360 AS SOON AS POSSIBLE

I129f is NOT an immigrant petition 

I would rather be seen as rude than stand idly watching others get incorrect advice

No problem here.  Why

🤦‍♀️ 

It's very strange for you to be double-checking your lawyer with online lawyers, and then coming here to (mostly) non-lawyers to double check what the lawyers that are double checking your paid lawyers are telling you. 

With the amount of people I've seen on here who have had their "tax experts" tell them the wrong filing advice, telling them to file single? I wouldn't trust any of them. I'll just stick with TurboTax's automated forms by myself! 😂

makes one get scared about which accountant to trust with ones own taxes lol.

^^^^Warning^^^^^bad advice
 
I posted the link to the IRS regs dude.  

makes one get scared about which accountant to trust with ones own taxes lol.

Im glad he’s a tax expert and not a surgeon or dentist

Really, you do taxes?   Granted it isn't covered until the advanced section of the H&R Block class.
 
To file together get an ITIN.  The first $100k of income can be exempted for the overseas spouse.

I think you need to research what it means to be legally separated vs physically separated, as well as study tax laws more in depth as it seems your school didn't properly give you the correct information. If you do not have a LEGAL court separation and you are married, it's mfj, mfs, or hoh. Nowhere does the IRS say you can EVER file as single while married regardless of where your spouse lives

Well you have all that education and still don't know that you can't file as single when you're married?  This is why people come here for the information. You should know you don't get an SSN from filing the w7.  You get an ITIN. 

The answer is that you don’t need one if you’re filing married filing separately. If you’re filing separately and your spouse does not have an SSN or an ITIN you print out the completed forms and write “NRA” (non resident alien) where the SSN usually goes and you mail the forms in. Like I explained. You just can’t file online but you certainly can paper file. And even if you chose to not file separately, then like you said, file a W7 and get the spouse an ITIN and file that way. Or, if qualifying, you can also file as head of household. There are multiple options. Therefore, there really is no excuse nor any reason why anyone should file single while married. Plus the fact that it’s against the law.

*Married filing separately
But yes as said filing as single is NOT allowed when married regardless of if the spouse is in the US or not. Married is married no matter where your spouse lives and filing as single while married can be considered tax fraud
Its very easy to file married filing separately. Fill out tax return as normal, print it out, write “NRA” where spouse’s SSN usually goes, and mail it to the IRS

She didn't realize she was married?  Not a good start.  She needs to file amended return and send you a copy to take to the interview.
 
 
Edit:
You already have three things working against you . . . 
Ghana is a high fraud country.
There is a age gap 
She won't be there and since she doesn't fly I take it there have not been a lot of visits.

There's just not a visa for spouses who want to stay living apart and visit each other.

I think it would be very wise to remember that most people visiting on vacations don’t usually stay for 3-4 months at a time, 2+ more times a year, year after year.. this in itself will raise questions and potentially a red flag.. 
 
I’d recommend CR1, then she can come and go as she pleases..

What you describe seems to be a perfect fit for what you're doing at the moment, minus the lying.
If she spends 70% of the year in her home country and comes for plenty short trips, whenever her business allows for it, this doesn't sound like anything else is required.
I assume she can generate ample of proof that she's needed in her home country, plus her history of already having many short visits (over the past year/s?).
She can tell CBP that she's visiting her husband for XX weeks, and if asked provide proof of her ties to home to show that there's no immigrant intent. If the marriage took place before all the previous trips, she can show this too.

The I-130 is for the US and in the US gender change is legal. Heck she has a US passport with her correct gender so I wouldn't see a reason why she would have to check male

I'm totally with you on that and don't let him call you stupid for being realistic
 
Realistically speaking it takes up to 10 days to receive the passport with visa after the interview. That already puts you at February 15th and I think it will be hard to get married in his absence This calculation by the way is made assuming that the officer during the interview doesn't need any additional documents for approval. If that's the case he might want to get used to the idea to miss your birthday too.
 
I think you're totally on the right track here, you got this!

My country accept what they see on her passport. She is very discreet and they never think anything other then she is what appears on her passport 

Yes that's the question 

Ja haben wir  mein Mann hat außerdem einen official letter von seinem Arbeitgeber für USCIS bekommen, in dem dieser aufgrund von financial hardship für meinen Mann und potential financial loss für die company einen expedite beantragt. Wir haben dann gestern per Telefon einen expedite request gemacht. Die Dame am Telefon hat uns eine Vorgangsnummer gegeben und meinte, wir würden innerhalb von 5 Arbeitstagen etwas hören. Den Brief wollte sie erstmal gar nicht haben. Sie sagte nur, dass wir eventuell aufgefordert werden, noch Beweise zu schicken. Das finde ich zwar etwas komisch,  aber wir warten jetzt erstmal ab 🙏 und schicken sonst den Brief mal per Post ans USCIS... Wenn dabei nix rauskommt, beantragen wir das I-129. Auch wenn ich mir nach nochmaligem durchlesen nicht so sicher  bin, ob das eventuell nur beim NSC und per paper filing funktioniert  -  wir lassen nichts unversucht  🤓