Lynkali

Social Security Number has absolutely ZERO to do with "deportation". You could, conceivably, live your entire life in the USA and never have a social security number. (It wouldn't be easy to deal with banks or many other things, and you couldn't get a job, but it has no effect on your legal presence here.) So please stop worrying about anything on that front!
He can travel domestically wherever he wants, SSN is not hindering that! It might not be a good idea to travel near the Mexican border, due to lots of checkpoints where he might be asked to prove his status, but even that is not a hard and fast rule.
Now, it IS true that you should try to file for AOS before (or very soon after) his I-94 expires. The reason being that he is technically "out of status" once that I-94 expires -- but once you have the receipt saying you've filed the I-485 for AOS, you have proof that he is here in a period of authorized stay. But even filing a few weeks or even months later -- he is NOT going to be deported! The absolute worst case scenario, if he were stopped and questioned about his legal presence: they'd put him before an immigration judge, who would see that he had married within the 90 days of the K-1 visa, and the immigration judge would tell him to file for AOS immediately -- no deportation, no worries.
Without AOS, he simply can't do many of things he will want to start doing: open bank accounts, get credit cards, get a state ID, eventually look for work, etc. And without SSN, he can't do any of those things either.
So ideally: file for AOS as soon as you can, but don't panic. Once you have the EAD (about 2-3 months after filing), then you can go get a SSN and a state ID and anything else you want.

Social Security Number has absolutely ZERO to do with "deportation". You could, conceivably, live your entire life in the USA and never have a social security number. (It wouldn't be easy to deal with banks or many other things, and you couldn't get a job, but it has no effect on your legal presence here.) So please stop worrying about anything on that front!
He can travel domestically wherever he wants, SSN is not hindering that! It might not be a good idea to travel near the Mexican border, due to lots of checkpoints where he might be asked to prove his status, but even that is not a hard and fast rule.
Now, it IS true that you should try to file for AOS before (or very soon after) his I-94 expires. The reason being that he is technically "out of status" once that I-94 expires -- but once you have the receipt saying you've filed the I-485 for AOS, you have proof that he is here in a period of authorized stay. But even filing a few weeks or even months later -- he is NOT going to be deported! The absolute worst case scenario, if he were stopped and questioned about his legal presence: they'd put him before an immigration judge, who would see that he had married within the 90 days of the K-1 visa, and the immigration judge would tell him to file for AOS immediately -- no deportation, no worries.
Without AOS, he simply can't do many of things he will want to start doing: open bank accounts, get credit cards, get a state ID, eventually look for work, etc. And without SSN, he can't do any of those things either.
So ideally: file for AOS as soon as you can, but don't panic. Once you have the EAD (about 2-3 months after filing), then you can go get a SSN and a state ID and anything else you want.

Okay, so, my wife (we are also gay) went to law school here in the US (I am the USC). We didn't know what would happen after her OPT expired. DOMA got overturned. Why didn't you file your paperwork months ago? My wife already has her green card at this point.
As for your job? Tell them the truth. Stop hating on, what is soon to be, your government. We NEVER felt like its a machine who doesn't give a s***. Laws are laws. And, at this point, GLBT couples and hetero couples have to go through the same process. We were married in 2004. So yes, I get its a LONG gap. It sucks, but it is what it is.
Did the laws suck? Yup. But nothing we could have done.
In the meantime? Have your husband get a second job. Sell stuff online. Open up a small business. We did whatever we could to make ends meet. You will get there, but Im telling you now, your negative attitude is not helping. Seriously.

Your OPT ends in Dec. 12. At which point, you are suppose to leave the US.
Now, you have chosen to adjust your status. You have made a change. And apparently, you want this change to happen at your pace.
Your EAD is not here. So, go get an expedite EAD.
Stop being so negative. Why does the US owe you an EAD immediately? Did you tell USCIS that you needed it by Dec. 12? Probably no.

Well you know Darnell, usually I really appreciate your answers. This time I have to say though, I am very underwhelmed with your replies. Things HAVE changed in the past months and years. For example, the card that most new immigrants on here have been using, Capital One for Newcomers, does not exist anymore. Another example is that the "Anti-Housewife Rule" (relevant to those of us who had to wait many months for an EAD or are housewives) has recently been changed. Quite a few companies have also recently changed their policies about authorized users when it comes to reporting to rating agencies. Yes, I have read the other threads on here, but I still had some questions specific to my situation. This forum is here to help each other, so please, if you do not have anything to contribute to the topic, just quit reading it. Thank you.
To all others, thank you for your help. I got approved for a secured credit card, and I will go from there.

Hey same here! So there are some real honest Americans out here after all!
Amen!
Same here!! So you are the other guy paying those taxes along with me? I knew there must be at least a few Americans that are honest and pay their taxes.
God Bless America

Yes to all of those.

What I find concerning is the fact that OP thinks that receiving an AP, or even a GC at that, is synonymous with "able to stay outside the US however long she wants with no issues". First thing you have to understand is that this is not the case. An AP, as well as a GC are both granted to those who wish to maintain a primary residence inside the US and are only looking to travel for just about any reason other than to live abroad. The fact is that even a GC holder can NOT be outside of the US for a period of time that is longer than 1 year without obtaining a travel document (not the same as an AP, even though it uses the same form I-131) BEFORE she leaves the country.
You need to approach this topic very carefully when talking to the consulate or applying for anything with USCIS. Because right now, the way all evidence points, your wife was in the US just barely enough to receive an AP... and then she left and didn't return for 11 months already and likely won't before the 1 year max limit passes (which, in itself, one could argue is reason enough to prove that she abandoned her "primary residence" in the US, and therefore her GC application).
I don't know HOW you're going to handle this issue. I have no advice on that and will differ to the better judgment of more informed folk on here. I just found it very concerning that you were stating all these "She will apply for this/that when AP ends" "She will travel to US if/when GC interview is scheduled, and every once in a while to visit family" intentions without realizing that the very moment USCIS gets a whiff of your wife not intending to maintain a PRIMARY RESIDENCE inside the US, even if she had a GC at the time (which she doesn't even have yet) they will consider her GC abandoned, unless she had applied for a travel document (NOT the same as AP) BEFORE leaving.
Well... the above is at least my understanding of the system. Please feel free to correct me if I said something wrong.

It's possible that the lady with 11 kids, has she been given access to healthcare, birth control, and some education at the doctor, might have decided to have less than 11 kids.

I apologize in advance that I am too tired to write a very detailed post yet...
Just wanted to check in and let everybody know that we have successfully gotten a K1 visa for a same-sex relationship from the consulate in Naples. We have the visa in hand. So this can and does work. I hope that gives confidence to some of you out there who are waiting!
It's been a few busy / trying days in Naples but that doesn't matter now... =)
According to the woman at the consulate, we were the FIRST same-sex K1 to go through Naples (and thus Italy!)

Historically this does happen from time to time. I happened when we were going through our I-129F filing back in 2010-2011. Back then what it came down to was the service center was performing training sessions and would randomly select cases and move them through. Sometimes they selected older cases and sometimes very recent cases. Fair or not, that is what they did and it appears they are still operating in the same way. Nothing you can do except write your Senator and Representitive.

That's correct, the I-134 (or two of them, if you have a co-sponsor) are requested only when the applicant goes to the interview at the embassy. There's no need to send I-134 in your initial petition.
Procedures do vary slightly at the embassy stage -- some embassies ask you to mail the I-134 to the embassy as packet 3/4, as you're setting up the interview date, while others like our process just physically carried the I-134 to the interview by hand. But nowhere requests it prior to setting up the interview itself.

Well, I must say, you aren't complying with exactly what they want. If you had, you'd be at interview by now. You can go right ahead and in fancy language be just as indignant as you like. But...make that BUT...they are the only game in town, and comply you must. So, quit being in denial, and full of self righteous indignation, fill the little boxes in correctly, and get ON with it.

I suggest several things.
1. NVC doesn't victimize anyone. Those who incorrectly fill out the forms and submit them, victimize themselves.
2. NVC doesn't approve petitions. NVC handles DOC intake for visa applications. Get it grossly wrong and NVC will give you a chance or three to correct the error, prior to tossing it over to the Embassy IV Unit.

No one is intentionally 'victimizing" your family. Until you understand that they want what they want In exactly the way they want it, they will continue to send you RFE's until you DO get it right. Your ideas and attitude goes along way to understanding why the hold up. Close enough is not good enough. Nearly right is not right enough. You will have to get over the idea that they are arrogant and treating you badly if you want your visas issued.
Your daughter needs to pay attention to exactly what is being asked for, and send them exactly what they want.

Since next year I will be poor on paper (low Agi), I can get my wife a great subsidized policy for 5% of what it would cost me on the open market.
It will only make our premium go up 20 bucks a month to add me.
Similar coverage on Cobra would have cost me about 1600 bucks a month. I can not buy affordable health insurance because I have type2 Diabetes.
Obama care save d our asses

This is 100% correct. See this link. One of the world's premier medical journals was appalled at its mistake in publishing the data, and it retracted the paper. See especially the paragraph about the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention herein.
http://www.cnn.com/2010/HEALTH/02/02/lancet.retraction.autism/index.html
And the word is "rampant," not "rampid."

Please don't be spread that autism FUD, which has been entirely been revoked and the doctor responsible for starting it struck off. Do your research. It is NOT well documented, quite the opposite.

Wow, this is a heartbreaker.
I agree that being close to family is the most important, and take things a day or even an hour at a time. Try to avoid major decisions right now, what you need to do will become clearer as the days wear on. Take care of yourself and find someone you can talk to.
Also, to the above, the OP was asking a rhetorical question. She wasn't asking for your thoughts on a difficult and personal decision.

It's only been a couple of days. Any chance he might change his mind?
Also, Holy Pro Life on this thread! Shame on everyone for trying to sway you on this very personal decision.

I don't have any suggestions, but I'm curious to hear what others respond! My fiance will be arriving in September and I currently use Chase, so I'm wondering how much of a hassle the joint account and other things are going to be. Guess I'll find out, or choose another bank if necessary.
I like the commercials and overall feel of San Diego County Credit Union (https://www.sdccu.com/) and they certainly have a lot of branches here, but I have no idea about their policies and don't actually know anyone who uses them, so I can't recommend, only mention them as a possibility.

Faith is one thing but a well prepared petition goes a long way toward success in this process.

Bummer
I was expecting something much more interesting.

Harsh - you and I have both been here long enough to know that it's not just the individual case specifications which slow down the order if processing. Sometimes it seems like huge boxes of petitions are forgotten about on shelves when there are backlogs or other problems.
It happens every now and again and is very frustrating for those who get caught up in it.
There's the weeks and month or so out of order which I think can be explained by differences in cases, or say one slow officer having a box of petitions on his desk while the super speedy guy next to him is whizzing through the petitions in his boxes.
And then there are the times when the petitions are months and months out of order.
Back in 2007 when we filed we were in exactly this situation. We filed in Oct and waited for a long time, everyone was waiting. Then suddenly in about March the petitions from Jan onwards started getting approvals - all the Oct, Nov and Dec people were left waiting. It was as though our files had been stuck in a room somewhere lost. So we were just waiting while people who had filed five months after us were being approved.
At around 9 and a half months after filing we were suddenly all sent a note saying that our petitions were being sent to California to be processed. And we were approved 2 weeks later.
It was incredibly unfair. And a great example of how disorganised and flawed the system can be. Maybe FIFO is too much to ask for with such a huge number of cases but it could be a lot better than it is now.

Unfortunately some times you will get that. I got the same brush off from Dianne Feinstein's office when mine was pending, but Barbara Boxer's staff was much better.

I would try calling Cornyn's people since you are not likely to get another staffer at Cruz's office except the one you are dealing with. And keep in mind, you probably have a bunch of Tea Partiers who are doing Cruz's case work. While I wouldn't swear my name to it, I wouldn't be surprised if they are less than thrilled to bring another foreigner into the country more quickly. If you know anything about Benghazi though, I am sure you would go to the front of the line