lynndy38

You are not currently a legal resident. You came on a K-1 and failed to marry in 90 days. Filing for the I-130 will get you legal here, but if he pulls the petition, you're not going to be able to stay. What's worse is he can prevent you from taking the child out of the country. You're kind of between a rock and hard place. I'm not sure why you're so worried about him having your password, my wife and I share our passwords and hide nothing from each other. Its a matter of trust between us, that we trust each other to have each other's passwords. I guess its a matter of trust that he doesn't have your facebook password to. But certainly wouldn't want to make a huge fight about each other having or not having those passwords. Why you're making something that should be so trivial become such a huge issue, possibly ending your marriage is not a good sign. Have you two considered marriage counseling? We're not born knowing how to have a good marriage, we need to learn to have a good marriage. And if you didn't learn from your parents or life experience, marriage counseling can be a good step. But it will only work if both are willing to take steps to improve how you relate as a married couple.

Good luck!!! I am wishing you the best. Please keep us informed of your process. I am overwhelmed with happiness to think of this discrimination crumbling even to immigration.

Good luck on your journey. Wish you both the best.
You might want to keep a journal and details of your petition, it will help many others

Even if you are willing to marry her to help her get a GC (and commit fraud), the marriage will still have financial and legal obligations. You'll be responsible for any debts she incurs, even if you knew nothing about them. She can ruin your credit rating and take your assets. How do you know she will treat your assets and joint finances iwth respect, if she treats your heart and feelings with such disregard?
I am an alien, I've been here for 6 years on a work visa. Last year I married my BF and I'm doing AOS, but I didn't marry him for a greencard. I married him because we'd been together for 2.5 years and he is the love of my life. We discussed going back to Australia (which accepts de-facto / common law marriage for permanent residency) when my visa time here was up, but overall, we love each other and want to spend our lives together, regardless of the country. So we got married. Honestly, I don't care if I leave the US tomorrow and never come back (providing I can take my dog). I just want a life with my husband.
My husband would never accept me marrying another man, even if it was just for a greencard. I could never marry a man other than him, even if the marriage wasn't consumated. He is my soul mate, my best friend and the most important person in the world to me.
Have you talked about marriage, in terms of children, and joint finances, and shared goals? Have you had relationship counselling? What is her vision of her future, and does it mesh with yours?
You should marry somebody for whom the relationship with you comes first, and more importantly, in front of which country they want to live in. The right woman for you will want to be with you, wherever in the world that will be.
If you are ready for a genuine marriage, tell her that's what you want. Not a greencard marriage, but a genuine marriage. Then spend some time in her home country, meeting her friends and family. Perhaps even get married there, or live there for a couple of years. If the marriage is strong and you are sure of your wife's love, and maybe even have started a family, then consider applying for a greencard for her, but no before.

I think she is desperate to get a green card to stay in US by hook or by crook.
"she told me she had a marriage set up to help her get her green card but she cancelled it because of our relationship." showed that she would go along with plan if you didn't show up in her life.
In fact, she did find "a friend of a friend" to get married when you didn't want to jump into her plan of marriage for green card.
Now she has buyer's remorse, probably hoping you would bail her out which you are now trying to do.
If she truly loves you (not just for green card purposes), let her clear out her own mess first.
Then wait and let the relationship develop, take the "getting her a green card to stay" out of the equation, even if it means that she has to return home after her work visa expires.
You could always petition for her to come back to US as fiancee / spouse later on.
I was on a work visa too when I met my BF (now husband).
I never thought of pressuring him to get married asap because "hey honey, my work visa is expiring soon!!!".
Instead I went home, and developed the relationship over long distance and different zone.
I hope you don't get manipulated into doing something you might regret later in your life. If in doubts, don't do it.

Ah - just noticed you are adjusting from the VWP/tourist visa.
This might explain the lawyer's concerns - at any point on Facebook for either of you did you mention intending to stay BEFORE the non-USC arrived in the US. Did any friends or family send messages talking about it etc.
The lawyer might be worried that there is something which shows intent to immigrate before arrival. Only you can know for sure whether there might be something - deactivating might be a good compromise.

Hi - this sounds very like my experience of moving here. I gave up a relatively high powered job in London and moved to a log cabin in Virginia. My husband works in DC so he is gone from 6am in the morning until usually 7.30pm at night and sometimes later. I used to get up with him make him a breakfast and packed lunch to take to work, then have dinner waiting for him when he got home.
Having the Internet definitely helped - and then I tried to make a plan for each week to give myself some structure. I spent one day each week going into the city with my husband. At first I found an internet cafe and bookshop very near his office and took my laptop and spent the morning in there, met him for lunch and then did a little exploring and shopping in the afternoon met him for a drink after work or dinner before we went home. The other days of the week I organised so that one day I focused on home improvements (cleaning stuff out, moving furniture and stuff around), one day on looking for work and shining up my resume etc and planning for interviews etc, one day on making new contacts and friends (looking for online groups to chat to, looking for local meetup.com groups, calling wives and girlfriends of my husband's friends and inviting them over for coffee etc) and then one day catching up with friends and family back home (writing letters, emails, Facebook messages etc) That covered the full five working days of the week and the structure made me feel as though I wasn't just waiting for him to get home. And each time I went into the city I felt more and more comfortable.
I started a huge vegetable garden and by summer when we were eating the fruits of my labour I also felt as though I was contributing to the family budget.
Four years on I still have days where I feel like a stranger in the US and am surprised at how different something is to the UK but it definitely has started to feel like home. Took a while though so don't beat yourself up if you feel a bit lost after only 2 weeks.

This feeling will not pass until you find things that interest you to occupy your time. I know in a lot of places in the US not having a car can make it almost impossible to get around, and doing the same things everyday gets old really fast to the point were you just don't want to do anything. When you are use to being independent it is HARD to become solely depend on someone else. I suggest you start trying to see if there are any groups in your area scrapbooking, knitting(just suggestions but you get where I am going with this). Maybe you can find people from your home country that live in the area you can do a google search(however do use caution). Have your husband start teaching you how to get around in your area so that you can start driving so that you can at least get out, and once you feel comfortable enough maybe you can start taking him to work so you can have the car during the day while he is at work to run errands anything to get you out of the house and a change of scenery and to help you feel like you are getting your independence back. Or you could volunteer at a hospital in your area, this will help you meet people and the hospitals are always looking for volunteers. No need for an EAD as you are not receiving pay for the work you are doing. What ever you do don't just sit back and think time will fix how you are feeling right now because it will actually get worse and you will become more home sick if you don't get active. Don't for one moment think that it has anything to do with you not being appreciative of the new life you have received, that's not it. But if you don't do things to experience this new life and make it just that a NEW life you will miss the OLD life you had to the point of depression. Things WILL get better, however you have to be active in making it better. Best wishes to you and know that you are not alone in your feelings, take comfort in knowing it's not just you!

Overstay will be forgiven if he stays and they file AOS.
Valerie beat me to it (I had a good rant all planned)...but I just want to add that there is nothing more or less legal or right about filing for CR-1 vs. AOS vs. K-1. They are all acceptable depending on the circumstances of the people involved.
The only potential danger is that when adjusting from VWP, appeal is not an option if denied.
That said, I'm not suggesting you actually get married. There is a lot of responsibility in marrying someone from another country and bringing them here, not the least of which is agreeing to support them financially whether you want to or not. It sounds to me like you just met him (in person) in October? You really want to risk your whole life on a two month relationship? I'd think this one through if I were you. He can always go home and visit a few more times before you actually get married.
If you do decide to get married, and he has no need to go back to his home country for at least 4-6 months, then he can stay and file AOS. If there's anything you're worried about (criminal history?) then ask about it here before you do anything else.

Just wanted to say Im sorry about your journey to be together being fraught with stress,sadly I dont think anyone gets away with that one......
Anyway I would like to remind you this is YOUR personal process and what Im finding is what happens with another visa members journey even if its a carbon copy of your circumstances it can have very different twists and turns so try not to get too freaked out at what people tell you. You just have to go for it.........and when you reach a hurdle,have patience and faith that you will eventually be with your partner. Seek legal advice and take on board what the wonderful folk here tell you but just remember it won't always apply to you.
I'm finding most of this process makes no sense atall at times......what worked for some wont necessarily work for you.
We did the CR1 route too......its hard to be apart and EVERYONE would rather not having to be apart for months on end but for now this is what we all have to do......good luck and dont lose hope.....you WILL get there in the end.

Just wanted to say Im sorry about your journey to be together being fraught with stress,sadly I dont think anyone gets away with that one......
Anyway I would like to remind you this is YOUR personal process and what Im finding is what happens with another visa members journey even if its a carbon copy of your circumstances it can have very different twists and turns so try not to get too freaked out at what people tell you. You just have to go for it.........and when you reach a hurdle,have patience and faith that you will eventually be with your partner. Seek legal advice and take on board what the wonderful folk here tell you but just remember it won't always apply to you.
I'm finding most of this process makes no sense atall at times......what worked for some wont necessarily work for you.
We did the CR1 route too......its hard to be apart and EVERYONE would rather not having to be apart for months on end but for now this is what we all have to do......good luck and dont lose hope.....you WILL get there in the end.

Just wanted to say Im sorry about your journey to be together being fraught with stress,sadly I dont think anyone gets away with that one......
Anyway I would like to remind you this is YOUR personal process and what Im finding is what happens with another visa members journey even if its a carbon copy of your circumstances it can have very different twists and turns so try not to get too freaked out at what people tell you. You just have to go for it.........and when you reach a hurdle,have patience and faith that you will eventually be with your partner. Seek legal advice and take on board what the wonderful folk here tell you but just remember it won't always apply to you.
I'm finding most of this process makes no sense atall at times......what worked for some wont necessarily work for you.
We did the CR1 route too......its hard to be apart and EVERYONE would rather not having to be apart for months on end but for now this is what we all have to do......good luck and dont lose hope.....you WILL get there in the end.

Just wanted to say Im sorry about your journey to be together being fraught with stress,sadly I dont think anyone gets away with that one......
Anyway I would like to remind you this is YOUR personal process and what Im finding is what happens with another visa members journey even if its a carbon copy of your circumstances it can have very different twists and turns so try not to get too freaked out at what people tell you. You just have to go for it.........and when you reach a hurdle,have patience and faith that you will eventually be with your partner. Seek legal advice and take on board what the wonderful folk here tell you but just remember it won't always apply to you.
I'm finding most of this process makes no sense atall at times......what worked for some wont necessarily work for you.
We did the CR1 route too......its hard to be apart and EVERYONE would rather not having to be apart for months on end but for now this is what we all have to do......good luck and dont lose hope.....you WILL get there in the end.

My quick comparison without all the details
If you aren't ready to marry right away then you can start the fiancé petition today...so a quick start. It processes while you work out the future marriage plans.
For a spouse petition you will have to go to the UK to marry (they have a few rules) or she can come to the US on VWP and marry you pretty easily with a quick courthouse or Vegas wedding then return to the UK. Then you can start the spouse petition. So the start is later because of having to marry first.
The spouse visa is cool because the day she enters the US, she can work, get a drivers license and is a permanent resident. It is also cheaper but takes a month or more longer (plus you can't start it yet before marrying).
The fiancé visa is cool because she may get here faster, but when she arrives she is going to be frustrated. Why? Because you will have to spend $1070 and do yet another application for her greencard and work permit. She will be stuck at home for at least 3-4 months with no friends, you at work, unable to get a drivers license or job, and unable to leave the US while she waits on approvals. That wait is assuming you marry and apply within weeks of her arrival. If you dont marry for 2 months, then make that 5-6 months where she's bored at home. All those permissions are what takes a little longer for the spouse visa because they happen before arrival.
So maybe she would be happier with 2 extra months in the UK with her mates and job in order to be able to hit the ground running as a US resident the day she arrives.
As far as fearing denial--unless she's a drug dealer, habitual criminal, prostitute, terrorist, Nazi, or overstayed her VWP illegally for years, she will be fine.
As far as longer processing than normal--expect that if she was born in the Middle East, India, Pakistan or is Muslim because of extra time needed for more extensive security checks following the interview in London (either visa).

Im so sorry you relationship didnt turn out as you had planned,yes there will always be folk out there that have ulterior motives but bad marriages can happen anywhere at anytime with anyone.
Please realise that not all non USC are out to scam and gain a greencard in America,many of us come from beautiful countrys with family and friends that we love and we will be heartbroken when the time comes to leave them behind.
Its understandable that anyone who has 'been burnt' as a result of this process feels bitter and angry. Strength and peace to them.

I have to say your're the first person Ive seen on here miffed at the fact your visa process has ran smoothly and fast!!!! I bet many of us would be over the moon to be in your position,anyway.....the CR1 does take longer and you dont have as many restrictions when you arrive in the US,that being said its only a few months difference,this process is so messed up you could file the CR1 and wait a year or you could be mega lucky again and only have to wait 5 months!!!
Its going to cost you alot of $ and Im not sure if reapplying would cause you issues in the future should the CR1 go to fast for you too and you decide to postpone. Are you both out of the US at the moment? Was you hoping to travel then move over together?

I have to say your're the first person Ive seen on here miffed at the fact your visa process has ran smoothly and fast!!!! I bet many of us would be over the moon to be in your position,anyway.....the CR1 does take longer and you dont have as many restrictions when you arrive in the US,that being said its only a few months difference,this process is so messed up you could file the CR1 and wait a year or you could be mega lucky again and only have to wait 5 months!!!
Its going to cost you alot of $ and Im not sure if reapplying would cause you issues in the future should the CR1 go to fast for you too and you decide to postpone. Are you both out of the US at the moment? Was you hoping to travel then move over together?

Just sending hugs.....
Remember you are not alone in this,we all understand your frustration and of course theres times when the relationship with your husband/fiance becomes strained.This is not a 'normal' courtship,we have to find ways to feel close through communication only.After disagreements theres no opportunity to hug and make up.....its hard,as humans we're programmed to need our SO physically. Dont allow this messed up system to break you. Everyday is a day closer.

Just sending hugs.....
Remember you are not alone in this,we all understand your frustration and of course theres times when the relationship with your husband/fiance becomes strained.This is not a 'normal' courtship,we have to find ways to feel close through communication only.After disagreements theres no opportunity to hug and make up.....its hard,as humans we're programmed to need our SO physically. Dont allow this messed up system to break you. Everyday is a day closer.

Just sending hugs.....
Remember you are not alone in this,we all understand your frustration and of course theres times when the relationship with your husband/fiance becomes strained.This is not a 'normal' courtship,we have to find ways to feel close through communication only.After disagreements theres no opportunity to hug and make up.....its hard,as humans we're programmed to need our SO physically. Dont allow this messed up system to break you. Everyday is a day closer.

Alot of people on this board should evaluate their social skills. I guess writing an email and sharing "MY" experience (because can I speak about others I dont even know and how they feel? No) apparently deems me as only concerned with myself and not the others who feel the same way before or after me. Bottom line is WE ALL WANT THE SAME THING. Either find a way to share workloads or hire more workers to process petitions. OR when one form of petition is lagging behind, change priorities on which ones to process. do I expect this change? No not anytime soon. Lay down and play dead? NO. when 5 months hits I will be calling and doing everything I can. We all paid the same amount and the service needs to be balanced. There is no reason anyone should be waiting 7 8 or 9 months at either center.

Im so sorry about your wait....you must miss your fiance so much. Its annoying because there doesnt seem a damn thing you can do about it....'fair' does not come into this process atall.....theres NOONE can tell you anything for sure during applying for a visa other than the fact they'll cash your check!!!!!
Try keep focused on the fact you HAVE to be getting near the end,everyday is a step closer to being back with your fiance.
About the passport evidence....cant the people at USCIS access our passport history? Wont they be able to see the days which we entered and left the USA?
Stay strong,you'll soon be shopping in Walmart looking for English items!!!!!

Im so sorry about your wait....you must miss your fiance so much. Its annoying because there doesnt seem a damn thing you can do about it....'fair' does not come into this process atall.....theres NOONE can tell you anything for sure during applying for a visa other than the fact they'll cash your check!!!!!
Try keep focused on the fact you HAVE to be getting near the end,everyday is a step closer to being back with your fiance.
About the passport evidence....cant the people at USCIS access our passport history? Wont they be able to see the days which we entered and left the USA?
Stay strong,you'll soon be shopping in Walmart looking for English items!!!!!

You're not alone, doll. The best things in life are worth fighting for and you're surrounded by people who are struggling toward the same goal. It's not an easy process. Just keep your eye on the prize because before you know it you'll be a happy family having breakfast together. That small thing in itself is a gift that so many couples take for granted and once you've finally got it you'll have a relationship stronger than anyone you know because of what you went through to achieve it.
My husband and I spend so many hours a day in tears on Skype and something we just keep repeating everytime that unmistakable pain in your middle fires up is 'It'll all be worth it in the end--We're almost there.' And it will. You just have to have faith. I'm not gonna be happy until he's laying in bed with me and we're watching some dodgy TV show like Storage wars and yelling at the TV over what they're paying for. Chin up

I love America,
Not only is the love of my life a citizen but I have also met some wonderful friends there too. I will embrace the American cultures and customs and will be a law abiding citizen that is active within my local community once Im living there. BUT I will always be English,I adore my country and would never have dreamt Id be leaving it,and am only doing so to be with my US husband.Luckily the US and UK stand shoulder to shoulder in most instances I really hope we always remain allies.......you guys chucked us out once already :lol: