easyriders2011

Are you kidding me?
Don't you think your fiancee will also be looking for Korean tastes of home too when she is felling a little homesick.
I think that's a bit harsh.
Isn't the mantra of this site ' the VJ family', how we are all in this together? Well her immigration journey is over, but her journey to adapt to this country is still ongoing.

There are some american guys here that post and used words that for some of us seem owning the wife or calling the filipina as a product but i think that is not their intentions. There are people, i will include myself, that are not good in stating nor very good in communicating. Which end us into misinterpretation and miscommunication . And some are oversensitive and overacting in the posts that lead to a bigger problem. Either the american guy will be enlighten with what the comments or will it changed him or worst he got mad and divert the madness to the wife. I think we should be careful too (as a filipina myself) to our reaction if it will create confusion and worst broken relationships and marriages.
Alot of filipina or even their partners complains about the CFO and even blame the government for some additional time to spend in attending it. I believe CFO counseling is good if not the best for filipina who will go out of the country and marry a different culture. It gives guidance to what to do and where to go. what is violence and even how to manage the relationship. Of course most of the attendees don't listen anymore coz the mind is already in the US out of excitement and all that.
It is a fact that some of filipina marries kano for financial reasons, some because their relatives are in the US, the friends are in the US, and they wanted to be in the US too. So we cannot blame that some american generalizes us, filipinas, as one and the same as the other rotten ones. We cannot please everybody and the best way is not to attack the generalizes us, rather show to them the real good filipina.

Wow, great post. This should get the administrator busy.. I agree except for: its ok to call a woman from the phils a filipina and a man a filipino. I have worked with many Filipino's and this is not prejudice. Of course, if you use it in the wrong context it is.
And yes, I know of 3 stories just off the top of my head where the guy is 20+ to the woman and they are filipino's. And they are doing well, again it's true age doesn't matter. It matters more what social class you are from in the Phils. A well off to do family, will not and will do everything to end it, stop their son from having a relationship with a poor girl. They are very prejudice!!!!!! Ask them and they will tell you absolutely 100%!!!! ANd I also know and have heard of many filipino's that are married to their wives that are relatively close to their age and have 2-3 young girlfriends on the side. A friend of mine, his nephew is married with two kids and he has 6 gf's on the side.. SO what is better????
My fiancee's father had 40 years to the plus of her mother.. Do you think she is concerned of an age gap between the two of us? I treat her just like I want to be treated and we talk about everything. There is alot of love, even everyone says it and see's it... Doesn't matter our ages.
Again great post and I had lots to say negative to some of the prejudice guys on here, but just wanted to walk out the door with a smile on my face because I still can't kiss my beautiful filipina before I leave for work to get that smile... PEace out!

My advice is once she has the baby, get a paternity test DO NOT sign the birth certificate without one. Her actions make it seem as if she has something going on behind your back. Taking the car out, not coming home, being mad at you while "on the phone" Play it safe make sure the child is yours , if it is then support your child and divorce her if thats what she wants put her out of the house.

I agree with you.
Enigma is the only one who has found true love... so self righteous. I got news for you Enigma, if your fiancee/wife's standard of living doesn't match yours, then you have just as much to worry about as any person here who's wife is younger.
Naw you're probably right, nobody has ever married a guy her own age just to get to the states....and then run off.
Worry about yourself and let others worry about their lives.

When ever some tragedy happens in the world, and the world takes notice, who does the world collectively look to? Such as the 2004 Tsunami - Did the world look to Sweden or Zimbabwe or Russia to help? No, the first response was where were the carriers, where was the US?
When things go to ####### in a handbasket... Who does the world look for in terms of leadership and protection? Venezuela? Argentina? Greece? No, the worlds looks for the US to ride in there and clean up the mess. Often when it does us absolutely no good. Because just like the old adage says "no good deed goes unpunished".
Freedom of Speech is a common freedom in the developed world. Nothing special there.
Well look back at your history (I would say books but we all know just google it).
When Europe was bogged down in the 80's - early 2000 with perpetually high unemployment rates of 10% or more,
it was the vitality of the US system that was the beacon of the world. In the US, you are limited only by your own skills and drive. There is no caste system like in India or England for that matter where you are expected to be a member of this sect and you'd damn well better stay there. That is why you have college drop outs who have gone on to create the two largest companies in the US - Apple and Microsoft. Why you have presidents who came from single family homes (Bill Clinton) or other walks of life (not the ruling elites like of Europe).
Why is it that these protesters are protesting the major companies, yet they use apple computers and drink starbucks, etc? America was built on the philosophy that you pull yourself up by your boot straps. If you get knocked down, you figure out why and you fix it.
If you don't have a college degree... in today's world you need it.
If you have one, but its in a generic discipline, say psychology, and you are having to work as a barista at starbucks, for $10/hr then who is to blame that you are only making $10/hr? You or the company who is looking for someone with a skill?
If you have a technical skill, but you have let it get stale, and now can't find work. Who is ultimately to blame for your condition? The company because the technology has evolved past your skill set? or is it you because you have not went back to get a relevant new skill to make yourself marketable?
[ I find myself in a similar situation. I don't like it, but in the end you have to look yourself in the mirror and acknowledge your own past poor decisions and find a way to get to the other side. But now this is a circular argument, because that leads us back to this being the greatest country and you have the opportunities to achieve those changes if you pursue them.]
So if you condemn the concept that marriage has been a concept of a union of a man and a woman then I guess the next group that comes along to expand you're already expanded definition to include poligamy or beastiality, you will be ok with expanding the definition because of the fairness clause. How about arranged marriages for kids to old men? some cultures still do this? If you are going to open the door way to anything goes, then you have to be ready for all of the ####### that seeps in along with it.
So why do independent polls show that 90% of reporters are democrats? Until Fox came along and 90% of reporters are democrats/liberals, then where was the bias then? Grow up.
And what happened before those 52 years? It was called the Great Depression. Well in the history books years from now, this period also will have a catchy name for it. Look around the world. There are problems boiling up on every front, Western Europe and it socialist welfare - cradle to grave - entitlements, where the companies can not hire anyone because once they do they are stuck with that individual for life (damn near). The rising economies, India, China, are rising due to better negotiating skills on the part of their politicians. They make their money off of the US economy, just like the vast majority of the rest of the world does. Our politicians sell out the US day in and day out. Even a country as small as Columbia has a $4M trade surplus with the US. So multiply that with a larger Western European or Chinese economy.
Why do you think it takes so long to get processed for immigration visas? Try playing with your NOA1 number and see how many 100's of thousands you have to go back for a month prior to your priority date. That shows you just how many people are clamoring to get into the US. Why are they trying to come here and not in their own country? Because they, unlike your type, know this country is the land of opportunity. You can achieve greatness but you are going to have to do it on your own. Historically big government wasn't sitting there with their knee on your throat hampering your ability to succeed. Take a look at the restrictions and things that have become illegal to do in the last 40 years. Big Government stealing our liberty one act at a time.
For example. kids today are not grouped by their cognitive abilities like they were in days past. Because they will be stigmatized because they are put together in the 'dumb kids class' or other nonsense, (instead of viewing it as the kids are at this level and are taught at this particular pace), so now the kids are disbursed into the regular classroom and the teacher is forced to teach at the LCD (lowest common denominator) pace to the benefit of that one child at the expense of the rest. Our education schools have nose dived in direct relation to the implementation of this feel good philosophy. (google it! - there i quoted Rosie for you).
No other country in the world has as many diverse groups of people vying to get inside their country like the US does.
If you hate this country so much. You have my permission to find a more appealing one that more suits your tastes.

Do not delete emails and phone messages offering not to report him. You may need them if he files under VAWA and claim you abused him. You will need those messages to protect yourself.

case in point.
when you met your spouse. you both had a choice of where to live. UK or US.
I don't see you on the UK immigration forum so there must be a reason you chose the US.
For good or for bad. I don't have to live in the UK to be able to do that calculus.
I personally like the UK, but that doesn't change the fact that the UK historically had a caste based system.

When ever some tragedy happens in the world, and the world takes notice, who does the world collectively look to? Such as the 2004 Tsunami - Did the world look to Sweden or Zimbabwe or Russia to help? No, the first response was where were the carriers, where was the US?
When things go to ####### in a handbasket... Who does the world look for in terms of leadership and protection? Venezuela? Argentina? Greece? No, the worlds looks for the US to ride in there and clean up the mess. Often when it does us absolutely no good. Because just like the old adage says "no good deed goes unpunished".
Freedom of Speech is a common freedom in the developed world. Nothing special there.
Well look back at your history (I would say books but we all know just google it).
When Europe was bogged down in the 80's - early 2000 with perpetually high unemployment rates of 10% or more,
it was the vitality of the US system that was the beacon of the world. In the US, you are limited only by your own skills and drive. There is no caste system like in India or England for that matter where you are expected to be a member of this sect and you'd damn well better stay there. That is why you have college drop outs who have gone on to create the two largest companies in the US - Apple and Microsoft. Why you have presidents who came from single family homes (Bill Clinton) or other walks of life (not the ruling elites like of Europe).
Why is it that these protesters are protesting the major companies, yet they use apple computers and drink starbucks, etc? America was built on the philosophy that you pull yourself up by your boot straps. If you get knocked down, you figure out why and you fix it.
If you don't have a college degree... in today's world you need it.
If you have one, but its in a generic discipline, say psychology, and you are having to work as a barista at starbucks, for $10/hr then who is to blame that you are only making $10/hr? You or the company who is looking for someone with a skill?
If you have a technical skill, but you have let it get stale, and now can't find work. Who is ultimately to blame for your condition? The company because the technology has evolved past your skill set? or is it you because you have not went back to get a relevant new skill to make yourself marketable?
[ I find myself in a similar situation. I don't like it, but in the end you have to look yourself in the mirror and acknowledge your own past poor decisions and find a way to get to the other side. But now this is a circular argument, because that leads us back to this being the greatest country and you have the opportunities to achieve those changes if you pursue them.]
So if you condemn the concept that marriage has been a concept of a union of a man and a woman then I guess the next group that comes along to expand you're already expanded definition to include poligamy or beastiality, you will be ok with expanding the definition because of the fairness clause. How about arranged marriages for kids to old men? some cultures still do this? If you are going to open the door way to anything goes, then you have to be ready for all of the ####### that seeps in along with it.
So why do independent polls show that 90% of reporters are democrats? Until Fox came along and 90% of reporters are democrats/liberals, then where was the bias then? Grow up.
And what happened before those 52 years? It was called the Great Depression. Well in the history books years from now, this period also will have a catchy name for it. Look around the world. There are problems boiling up on every front, Western Europe and it socialist welfare - cradle to grave - entitlements, where the companies can not hire anyone because once they do they are stuck with that individual for life (damn near). The rising economies, India, China, are rising due to better negotiating skills on the part of their politicians. They make their money off of the US economy, just like the vast majority of the rest of the world does. Our politicians sell out the US day in and day out. Even a country as small as Columbia has a $4M trade surplus with the US. So multiply that with a larger Western European or Chinese economy.
Why do you think it takes so long to get processed for immigration visas? Try playing with your NOA1 number and see how many 100's of thousands you have to go back for a month prior to your priority date. That shows you just how many people are clamoring to get into the US. Why are they trying to come here and not in their own country? Because they, unlike your type, know this country is the land of opportunity. You can achieve greatness but you are going to have to do it on your own. Historically big government wasn't sitting there with their knee on your throat hampering your ability to succeed. Take a look at the restrictions and things that have become illegal to do in the last 40 years. Big Government stealing our liberty one act at a time.
For example. kids today are not grouped by their cognitive abilities like they were in days past. Because they will be stigmatized because they are put together in the 'dumb kids class' or other nonsense, (instead of viewing it as the kids are at this level and are taught at this particular pace), so now the kids are disbursed into the regular classroom and the teacher is forced to teach at the LCD (lowest common denominator) pace to the benefit of that one child at the expense of the rest. Our education schools have nose dived in direct relation to the implementation of this feel good philosophy. (google it! - there i quoted Rosie for you).
No other country in the world has as many diverse groups of people vying to get inside their country like the US does.
If you hate this country so much. You have my permission to find a more appealing one that more suits your tastes.

1) I have the right to chose freely whom I love and where I find her. Been there done that, and you can keep the American female attitude. No thanks.
2) I have an engineering degree and an MBA so I can provide for my family thank you.
But the mere fact that I have to prove to my government that I can do this on one hand, when the other hand is giving away benefits to the millions who didn't follow the rules is my point, that you missed. The same government, doesn't make those folks return home and wait the months or years for bro/sis's that legitimate immigrants have to suffer through.
This entire immigration situation stinks beyond comprehension. It's completely bass ackwards, where the people who play by the rules are punished, yet we bend over backwards to give the freebies to people who don't even want to become a USC. They only want the paycheck.
But having said that. There are situations, especially in this economy, where you have a proven track record of working for decades, for being way over the poverty line, yet due to situations beyond your control you're in a situation where you're temporarily under that threshold of 125%. Should that reason alone be the deciding factor in bringing your spouse here? I don't think so. It should be the totality of the circumstances.
What is your track record, what is your potential to earn. These things give a more complete picture of whether the person will be a ward of the state versus, what they were making $18k a year at the time you filed your petition.
As far as the veteran issue. Yeah, it goes with the job, putting your life on the line, but since only 1% of the US population ever steps up to the plate in the defense of the freedoms this country provides. Especially when we are asking these veterans to return multiple times into the furnace I believe they deserve a hell of a lot more than the average citizen in terms of front of the queue, etc. But that wasn't my point earlier anyways. My point was as a USC I am already entitled to these same programs they are basing their judgement as to whether my wife should be allowed to come here. Couple that with the fact the same government does a complete flip-flop and gives away the damn store to people who have zero status here, and no questions are asked makes me feel that if you're not going to enforce the rules evenly, then stop busting the chops of the people who try to do the right thing and do it legally.

case in point.
when you met your spouse. you both had a choice of where to live. UK or US.
I don't see you on the UK immigration forum so there must be a reason you chose the US.
For good or for bad. I don't have to live in the UK to be able to do that calculus.
I personally like the UK, but that doesn't change the fact that the UK historically had a caste based system.

When ever some tragedy happens in the world, and the world takes notice, who does the world collectively look to? Such as the 2004 Tsunami - Did the world look to Sweden or Zimbabwe or Russia to help? No, the first response was where were the carriers, where was the US?
When things go to ####### in a handbasket... Who does the world look for in terms of leadership and protection? Venezuela? Argentina? Greece? No, the worlds looks for the US to ride in there and clean up the mess. Often when it does us absolutely no good. Because just like the old adage says "no good deed goes unpunished".
Freedom of Speech is a common freedom in the developed world. Nothing special there.
Well look back at your history (I would say books but we all know just google it).
When Europe was bogged down in the 80's - early 2000 with perpetually high unemployment rates of 10% or more,
it was the vitality of the US system that was the beacon of the world. In the US, you are limited only by your own skills and drive. There is no caste system like in India or England for that matter where you are expected to be a member of this sect and you'd damn well better stay there. That is why you have college drop outs who have gone on to create the two largest companies in the US - Apple and Microsoft. Why you have presidents who came from single family homes (Bill Clinton) or other walks of life (not the ruling elites like of Europe).
Why is it that these protesters are protesting the major companies, yet they use apple computers and drink starbucks, etc? America was built on the philosophy that you pull yourself up by your boot straps. If you get knocked down, you figure out why and you fix it.
If you don't have a college degree... in today's world you need it.
If you have one, but its in a generic discipline, say psychology, and you are having to work as a barista at starbucks, for $10/hr then who is to blame that you are only making $10/hr? You or the company who is looking for someone with a skill?
If you have a technical skill, but you have let it get stale, and now can't find work. Who is ultimately to blame for your condition? The company because the technology has evolved past your skill set? or is it you because you have not went back to get a relevant new skill to make yourself marketable?
[ I find myself in a similar situation. I don't like it, but in the end you have to look yourself in the mirror and acknowledge your own past poor decisions and find a way to get to the other side. But now this is a circular argument, because that leads us back to this being the greatest country and you have the opportunities to achieve those changes if you pursue them.]
So if you condemn the concept that marriage has been a concept of a union of a man and a woman then I guess the next group that comes along to expand you're already expanded definition to include poligamy or beastiality, you will be ok with expanding the definition because of the fairness clause. How about arranged marriages for kids to old men? some cultures still do this? If you are going to open the door way to anything goes, then you have to be ready for all of the ####### that seeps in along with it.
So why do independent polls show that 90% of reporters are democrats? Until Fox came along and 90% of reporters are democrats/liberals, then where was the bias then? Grow up.
And what happened before those 52 years? It was called the Great Depression. Well in the history books years from now, this period also will have a catchy name for it. Look around the world. There are problems boiling up on every front, Western Europe and it socialist welfare - cradle to grave - entitlements, where the companies can not hire anyone because once they do they are stuck with that individual for life (damn near). The rising economies, India, China, are rising due to better negotiating skills on the part of their politicians. They make their money off of the US economy, just like the vast majority of the rest of the world does. Our politicians sell out the US day in and day out. Even a country as small as Columbia has a $4M trade surplus with the US. So multiply that with a larger Western European or Chinese economy.
Why do you think it takes so long to get processed for immigration visas? Try playing with your NOA1 number and see how many 100's of thousands you have to go back for a month prior to your priority date. That shows you just how many people are clamoring to get into the US. Why are they trying to come here and not in their own country? Because they, unlike your type, know this country is the land of opportunity. You can achieve greatness but you are going to have to do it on your own. Historically big government wasn't sitting there with their knee on your throat hampering your ability to succeed. Take a look at the restrictions and things that have become illegal to do in the last 40 years. Big Government stealing our liberty one act at a time.
For example. kids today are not grouped by their cognitive abilities like they were in days past. Because they will be stigmatized because they are put together in the 'dumb kids class' or other nonsense, (instead of viewing it as the kids are at this level and are taught at this particular pace), so now the kids are disbursed into the regular classroom and the teacher is forced to teach at the LCD (lowest common denominator) pace to the benefit of that one child at the expense of the rest. Our education schools have nose dived in direct relation to the implementation of this feel good philosophy. (google it! - there i quoted Rosie for you).
No other country in the world has as many diverse groups of people vying to get inside their country like the US does.
If you hate this country so much. You have my permission to find a more appealing one that more suits your tastes.

1) I have the right to chose freely whom I love and where I find her. Been there done that, and you can keep the American female attitude. No thanks.
2) I have an engineering degree and an MBA so I can provide for my family thank you.
But the mere fact that I have to prove to my government that I can do this on one hand, when the other hand is giving away benefits to the millions who didn't follow the rules is my point, that you missed. The same government, doesn't make those folks return home and wait the months or years for bro/sis's that legitimate immigrants have to suffer through.
This entire immigration situation stinks beyond comprehension. It's completely bass ackwards, where the people who play by the rules are punished, yet we bend over backwards to give the freebies to people who don't even want to become a USC. They only want the paycheck.
But having said that. There are situations, especially in this economy, where you have a proven track record of working for decades, for being way over the poverty line, yet due to situations beyond your control you're in a situation where you're temporarily under that threshold of 125%. Should that reason alone be the deciding factor in bringing your spouse here? I don't think so. It should be the totality of the circumstances.
What is your track record, what is your potential to earn. These things give a more complete picture of whether the person will be a ward of the state versus, what they were making $18k a year at the time you filed your petition.
As far as the veteran issue. Yeah, it goes with the job, putting your life on the line, but since only 1% of the US population ever steps up to the plate in the defense of the freedoms this country provides. Especially when we are asking these veterans to return multiple times into the furnace I believe they deserve a hell of a lot more than the average citizen in terms of front of the queue, etc. But that wasn't my point earlier anyways. My point was as a USC I am already entitled to these same programs they are basing their judgement as to whether my wife should be allowed to come here. Couple that with the fact the same government does a complete flip-flop and gives away the damn store to people who have zero status here, and no questions are asked makes me feel that if you're not going to enforce the rules evenly, then stop busting the chops of the people who try to do the right thing and do it legally.

I couldn't disagree with you more.
I am an American citizen, covered by my 4th amendment right to pursue life, liberty and happiness. In this case I consider having my wife with me here as 'pursuing my happiness'.
As a veteran who has served this country and at one point I technically wrote an open check that included up to and including my life; I believe I should enjoy the same benefits that are FREELY and OPENLY given to all of the illegal aliens who step one foot on US soil, and they are entitled to FREE education, healthcare, welfare, and they are protected with anchor babies.
But such is not the case. Instead I have to prove that I can support my wife before she is allowed to come here.
I have to prove she will not obtain any government services, that I am a USC am already entitled to.
I have to pay thousands of dollars to get her here, whereas illegals pay a few hundred to be sneaked across the border and then its 'alli-alli oxen free' and they're in the big bucks of a welfare government system that penalizes those who play by the rules.
I think it would be very interesting / telling if the media would work with the government and conduct a poll on legal immigrants what their opinions are for legalizing illegal aliens? They can't be viewed as immigrant-phobic, because they are immigrants. But they more than anyone else can tell you about the hardships and bureaucratic nightmares the USG puts on its own citizens while ignoring and assisting those who technically should have no rights in this country.

She wants a pony? Gezzz... the closest thing my fiancee will come to a pony is a framed photo of one.
Or I can just take her on one of the farms around here. I live in the boonies.
I may even let her milk a cow, whatever floats her boat.
I had a rice cooker already but it was only for 2 cups. American size for a whole family... then I went out and bought a 12 cup just for her.

I beg to disagree. For the following reasons:
1) I am sure the USCIS has computer systems that are capable of delivering an 'estimate' that is better than this. If the 'estimated' average displayed is 5 months, and the actual wait for most people is 6.5+ months, then there is a disturbing problem there. It is called neglect.
2) USCIS, on its website has processing data available only until Nov 2011, as is apparent from this link: http://dashboard.uscis.gov/index.cfm?formtype=4&office=2&charttype=1
3 months of no updates? Seriously folks, some of us are impatient enough (forgive our lack of saintliness) to demand an update/projection more frequently than that.
3) There is apparently no consistency/order in which NOA2 s are being issued within the same service center. Not just little discrepancies, large ones. Good for them that are having a smooth ride, we are happy for them. It just seems unfair that something of such paramount emergency as a family union would not be handled in a strictly first-come first-served basis.
All the best.

LadyInRed,
Sorry to say but he is BS'ing you.
As far as the mortgage is concerned, that is difficult to do and costly. But there are plenty of other things he could be doing to show co-mingling of assets.
Has he put you on his work health insurance? put you as a beneficiary on his life insurance? car insurance? utility bills?
Is he in trouble with making his mortgage? if so, then perhaps he has a point about damaging your credit, but if he has had zero problems with making his payments, then he is just giving you that reason as an excuse. He needs to start building your own credit history with either a secured credit card (set limit based on a pre-deposited amount) or by adding you to one of his credit cards.
More likely he is trying to protect that asset as his in case you marriage doesn't work out in the future. That's somewhat understandable, but NOT very nice. If he owned the house before you got married, then it is his property anyways under community property laws. But if he is still making payments on it, AND even if you are not on the title, AND in a community property state, THEN any equity that is acquired during your marriage will be rightfully half yours.
He already is filing jointly if he is adding you to his tax return. This should be listed as a spouse, and your name should appear on the top of the 1040 and you will be requried to sign it on the bottom as well. If he isn't doing that, then he is taking serious advantage of you and you may need to start thinking about yourself.
YOU DO NOT NEED TO BE EMPLOYED TO FILE JOINTLY. YOU NEED TO BE MARRIED. He is lying to you or he is mistaken, but I doubt that he is mistaken, if he is using any vendor's automated software to file his taxes or if he is using a professional tax preparer.
Are you working?
If you are working, then you are required to file your own tax return if HE ISN'T FILING JOINTLY.
Did he file MARRIED BUT FILING SEPARATELY?
I doubt this, because he is including you as a dependent.
How long have you been married?
What is your husband's marital history?
Is this his first marriage?
Did he have a heated/contested prior divorce?
( this is the way he seems to be acting, but at this point you haven't provided enough background information to make a clear determination).
He can set up a separate bank account with a joint account witg you with out any problems even if he wanted to maintain a separate account. Some couples do this but it isn't the norm. Most couples establish joint accounts.
If I were you I wouldn't lose hope, or bail out, but I would try to do some research and then I would have a serious talk with him and point out the inconsistencies he is telling you with the truth that you are learning. NEVER take just one person's advise, but research that advise and verify its accuracy so you don't start a fight over inaccurate advise. But having said that, once you know your facts are true, it is time to confront him in a nice manner(if possible), and find out why he is so distrusting of you. He may have previous marital trust issues, or he could just be a jerk.
But if you don't have trust, and if he is not willing to address those lack of trust issues, then your marriage will very likely have further problems down the road. You will have to gage his reactions to your questions an make observations upon any changes he states he will make to improve.
He may very well be a great guy and just misguided, or insecure, and he needs to be given a course correction and he will be fine.
Or, he maybe unsure of your marriage and he is trying to limit any entanglements, financially and emotionally, and he is delaying to see where the wind blows.
Take my advise with a grain of salt, and do your own research, but at least you have started asking the right questions.
Good Luck.
Don

My sister doesn't like the idea that i married a filipina. I am 32 and monreal is 20. She thinks i got a child bride and i only brought her here to clean my house and follow my orders to the letter. So since she feels that way i just have fun with it. I told my sister that Monreal is 12 years old and that i paid 1,000 dollars to her family to have her. I take pictures of her doing the dishes and send it to my sister with comments like "see, she is doing what i paid her family to do". Monreal thinks its hilarious and so do my parents.
I know your situation is way deeper than mine, but i kind of relate with you on the sister thing. I would just say have fun with it. If she doesn't like it then tell her to kiss you were your butt cheeks meet in the middle.
John

Yes yes...and if and's and but's were candy and nuts we'd all be set for Christmas.
Instead of typing out the story...I present it in a vid. Please watch it.
A scorpion does what is in it's nature.


Darren;
It's cool you want to take the high road and be the bigger man and all that rah rah hooplah. It's a great idea.
BUT....
Your sample letter...you are opening yourself up for lenghty debate...the topics you provide include... past, present and future. You are trying to make excuses fo your behavior, rationalizations and.... you are seeking forgiveness and acceptance.
Remember..you are not having an open minded discussion with a dear friend. IMO...this situation...less is more. State your case and move on. IMO...here's your outline...Tell your sister you forgive her. Tell her that you will always love her and desire a relationship with her. Tell her you love and respect your wife as she does you. Tell her your wife and marriage are top priority and your duty in life. Tell her...You are not surprised by her lack of understanding but it is what it is. Thanks for your prayers as you always pray for her too. Good luck. God bless...yada yada done....
(personally...I would snap a pic of my wife and I shooting double birds. Put the pic in a cheap Walmart frame... include it with my ...Go F urself! u self righteous holy roller backwoods hick! ...(clear throat) peace maker letter. but...That's me ...not you.)
BTW...I (also) think it is (way past) damn time you stop talking about your ex-wife. I feel sorry for your wife. How many times does she get to hear about your past? When is enough? I think it is very discourteous and insensitive of you. I wish, for her and your marriage, you stop it.
Geeez...you are quite a trouble maker. Be strong and stop all this nonsense.
Less is more.

Darren Gretchen drama. Las Vegas bookies are saying it's 3:1 that the thread is eventually closed. The smart money is calling it a moderator KO sometime before the sixth (page).
Can he do twelve rounds? Hard to say. Darren comes out early in the first swinging hard but in the middle rounds it is all about bobbing and weaving, counterpunching, and not getting hit. Ultimately in the late rounds it comes down to stamina. OK, so he comes out with a haymaker: going to spring the hot new babe on the family.
But he took a solid body shot, straight up the middle with calling his wife a friend. He has to come back off the canvas from that one folks, or he's done for. I'd say this one is going to be over early. The refs will have to stop this one. Another shot like that and someone's got to throw the towel in for him.

here is the OPs post in reference to the RFE from sept 2011:

I disagree with the post that says she doesn't need the NBI in her previous married name. My wife was married before but never used the married name but we have it on good authority that the CO will want the NBI in 'all names' she has used. maiden, former married and current married.
It's $20 to get it now. You don't want to get to your interview and then get slapped with a 221g for something that can take weeks or a day to obtain.
I sent my wife back to get her's in her married name and she had a hit previously but was cleared 2 weeks later. This time she went there and didn't tell them or show them the old NBI that shows she was previously cleared and now she won't get her new NBI for 5 weeks. If this had came up during the interview and we are ready to fly home together, that kind of time line would suck and screw up everything, so it's definitely better to get it now, spend the $20 and have it than need it and not have it at the interview.

My fiance wants to contact Manila USEM , but can't find the contact # to call from overseas, she can't get a tracking to her 2g0 and she is getting worried because they told her by 2/1 shed have it. Shes pregnant and grumpy , I told her not to worry but honestly, shes driving me crazy . Does anyone know the number so she can call and bug them , and not me ?
lol thanks
~Chad

Hi Vj'ers,warning this is long lol
The following are just some general thoughts with regards to issues that I have experienced or have seen others experience upon arrival here in the states. Just some background to start, our journey has been longer that most of yours (almost 4 years) as a result of an annulment process, and some rather criminal behavior by an ex husband and by people within the the phillipine govermental process. With that being said my asawa is now here, we have been married for almost a month, and are very happy. While our journy has certainly been long, it did have a benifit and that was, endless nights, and mornings talking about the smallest of things to the real important issues that would lay the foundation of our life together. Even with all this time, I by no means consider myself an expert in this type of relationship, and hopefully I am getting better at it. Those of us that have been married before think we will always will do better the second time, but more than not we find ourselves making the same mistakes.
I will admit I thought about my asawas ability to adjust to life here endlessly before she got her, and because of that we talked about home sickness, lack of friends, lack of work, being alone for hours, as well as other things she would experience when she first got here. The lesson I learned here is that even though you think you have covered all the bases, until she is put in the situation you just dont know how she is going to handle it. I give Lenith all kinds of credit she has done really well, but there are still times when i can see it guys, and you have to pay atention to it. Just a heads up guys, we may be used to being alone, and getting home from work, and just vegging a bit, well be preparred your going to the attacked lol. I mean this ofcourse in a good way, but you really need to understand that for most of the day she has been waiting for you, sit down and give her the time she needs. I made the mistake one time by saying "go away" ( in a joking manner) because she was constantly at my side, she took it seriously, and went into that silent mode for 24hrs, and ofcourse me being the stubborn one let her. The lesson here is no matter how much you think she understands, there are still aspects of our mannerisums she doesnt.
As an advid reader of visa journey, we have established relationships with others that were on the same time line as Lenith and I. These relationships have continued on Facebook, and a facebook page called asawa world. Quite frankly I am suprised about some of the issues I have seen come up, ofcourse we all have issues but it seems like alot of these issues Lenith and I can remember talking about long before we started our journey. Please, once again I am not criticizing anyone, or thinking I am any better, but it pains both of us to see any of these relationships possibily fail. So while you are preparing for this journey, dont just get caught up in the process, and how long its taking, and how you both miss each other, really get into the nuts and bolts of your future,. Here are just a few helpfull thoughts
1) Talk about religion. who practices, and who doesnt, what changes do you just assume will take place when together.
2) If there are kids involved , talk about parenting. Believe me when I tell you, parenting styles will clash, and jealousy will show its face. The dynamics of a step family are very hard to manage, and you need to understand there will absolutely be clashes. Talk about the issues now, visitation (if part of relationship), time spent with kids takes time away from a new wife, kids take time to adjust (it doesnt just happen) These things sounds simple I know, but talk about them anyway because simple can quickly turn into difficult.
3) For those of you that are independantly wealth skip this one lol. For those that have stayed, this is a biggie. I will leave this one to each of you to consider, but do yourself a favor go over this one again , and again. The expectations I assure you are very different, and if not talked about early on and often will lead to major issues.
4) Culture- your fiancee is a product of a totally different culture, and depending on where you will be living there certainly will be culture shock. We say to ourselves, we know this already, well you really dont because you have never seen her have to react to circumstances here, you have only seen her behavior on a two week vacation in familiar surroundings, so be prepared and non judgemental when she reacts differently then what you would normally expect. Personally here are a couple that we faced. 1) weather- Lenith arrived in New York in Nov lol. Ofcourse we talked about this but nothing can prepare a filipina for 10 degree weather. So guys be prepared for alot of S*#* bombs being dropped, and get your warm clothes shopping done before she get here. 2) Food- get off the couch and find a Filipino store. 3) Where are all the people!!! Yup , they are inside. 4) Getting from point a to point b, it will not be easy for her just to get up and go like at home.
5) Fight fair- ofcourse doesnt mean to fight, but after the long journey and the adjustment period begins there will be disagreements. When this happens, guys , before you bark remember what she has done to come to you (left family and friends), and pinays remember everything he has done to get you here. Pinays, if he is being unsensitive tell him, dont go silent, make sure he understands the pressures you are feeling, and most importantly do get so angry and say " I want to go home", and guys dont use the thought of sending her home as a threat. Once this is out of the box, its hard to put back in. You maybe sitting there and thinking you would never go there, but I have seen it.
I guess that has been the whole point of this novel, the journey is long, but ever so worth it. Take care of the small things before they come up and bite you in the ####. While we cant plan for everything give your relationship a good head start by talking, and guys be patient.
Sorry for the lenght
Kevin & Lenith

Is it just me or doesn't Kang seem like a troll.
He doesn't have any photos, or avatar. No time line, no particular visa. He is just out looking to start a fight.
Is there a moderator in the house? .....