She's doing it again.

[Arrta 1]

I always try to keep the kitchen organized. She knows where everything goes but does not care to try and put things back where they belong. So, when she puts things away they end up in the most bizarre places.It just means that I have to always ask where stuff is, and when I am done it goes back where it should have been.

Yesterday she asked for pancakes for breakfast. I could find all but the measuring cup I needed. I asked her for it 5 separate times as I cleaned the dishes that were left in the sink, she would not tell me because she considered talking to her friend on the phone more important. The 6th time I butted in, interrupting her call, she came into the kitchen and showed me where it was. Instead of it being in the cabinet above the prep area, with the rest of them, she pulled it from under the cook-top. Thanking her, I started making the pancakes, and she went back to her call. I heard her friend laughing on the phone from our antics. To me, and apparently her friend, it is a normal interaction that happens between married people.

When the pancakes were finished I called her again. She had just hung up the phone and came. Only instead of coming to get the pancakes, she lays into me saying things like I'm rude, she was on the phone, I don't respect her, etc. She then opted to not eat, because she was not hungry. Note: It was now 10am, and she had not eaten anything yet. She ended up throwing out the pancakes while I was doing the below.

I ate my half, tried and failed to get her to eat hers, took a shower, and proceeded to start making our grocery list. I decided the other day to go on a diet starting Monday. A coworker told me about a site that I was getting recipes from and adding what I needed to the grocery list. I made up a full weeks meal plan for me, she said she didn't want any of the stuff. She's pregnant, so she should be eating more, etc. She'll pick up what she wants when we are there. Whatever, I'm heavy enough I'm starting at 36 points on the weight watchers diet plan. The recipes I found are enough to satisfy that. They would have been fine.

After hounding me the entire time I was making the list about, am I done yet, when we are leaving, she wanted to go over her friends this afternoon,etc., I finished. Only to have to wait for her to take her shower and get ready because she didn't do anything but be mad at me, waste food, and try to annoy me.

I didn't know where a bunch of the stuff I needed for the recipes were. I had never even heard of a matzo cracker until the other day, so this trip took longer than normal. As we went through the store and I got the stuff on the list, she threw things in the basket that she wanted as well, it wasn't much. And she took most of it over her friends house later.

Towards the end of the list, trying to track down the obscure stuff I had no idea about, she started complaining about being hungry. It was now close to 2pm. She then proceeded to walk off in a huff.

I eventually found everything and got in line, called her several times because I could not find her, eventually paid for everything and went to the car thinking she might be there. She wasn't so I packed up the car, called her again several times, and then went back into the store to look for her. I found her at the service center. She had blown $10 on scratch tickets, and didn't win anything. She was now mad at wasting the money.

She got in the car, complaining about being hungry again. I was hungry too so I asked where she wanted to go. "I don't know." I gave her several options, to which she just told me to pick. We went to Burger King. Being hungry myself, and her having not eaten all day, I opted to go in. She opted to stay in the car and not eat??? I ordered, she stayed in the car. I ate; she eventually came in, complained the entire time, still did not eat but again complained about being hungry. I pointed out that she was acting more childish than the 3 kids that had just came in with their parents. She wanted me to hurry up because she wanted to go out with her friends.

We made it home, I unloaded the car and put away the refrigerated stuff, she stormed around the house saying I was taking too long, etc.She kicked things, threw things (her phone being one of them), pulled things out of the refrigerator and threw them out, etc. I had grabbed her keys saying she was not driving to her friends because only grown-ups are allowed to drive. She begged me for the keys, destroyed my key-ring trying to take mine from me,and partially undressed me, laughing the entire time like it was a joke, trying to convince me to give them to her so she could drive her friend to her other friends house, she would then come back and get me so I could drop her off at the same place. Apparently said friend had been waiting since we were at thestore for a ride. Her friends were waiting on her and were making food for her etc... I stuck to my guns and said I would drive.

Eventually we got in the car and left, more than a half hour after we had gotten home. Most of that time dealing with her temper tantrum. She wanted me to promise not to say anything to her friend. On the way we found out said friend had already gotten a ride, it was over an hour after we were at the store at this point. We rerouted to their destination so she could meet them. I forgot to give her keys back; I had used them to start the car because my keys were all over the place in my pocket as the key chain was destroyed.

After dropping her off I got a new key chain and bought stuff to work on the house.

She texted me later asking if I was home, she didn't have her keys so I had to be there to let her in. After getting home she again went off. I don't respect her, etc. We went back and forth about who is disrespecting who.

First off, she has been here for 4 years and still does not consider this home. I consider this disrespectful to our marriage and our family.

The following I consider as me respecting her and her disrespecting me.

When she got a job I let her manage her own money, which she has proven to not know how to manage. She contributes almost nothing to the family bills. She does give me $230 a month for the loan payment on the bathroom remodel but I had to negotiate with her on that. She used to only give me $200 a month to help with the rent on the apartment we had, which cost $1100 a month. She brings home $1000-$1400 a month, so that leaves her with $800-$1200 a month. She sends money to her family the day she gets paid; I have no issue with this. But she blows the rest on useless stuff, like $100 pocketbooks etc., and constantly complains about having no money. And she wonders why I say her becoming a stay at home mom, like she wants, is not going to hurt us financially? Yes this may be disrespectful, but it's the truth.

I taught her how to drive so she is not dependent on her friends, public transportation, or me to get where she needs to go. We still only have one car, because I can't afford to pay for 2 and insurance for both. Note above.

I get mad at her for things like not coming home when she gets out of work when she has the car. Because of this I can't do any of the errands I need to do. Wasting money on $100 pocketbooks or name brand clothing, or things we don't need.

She gets mad at me for stuff like interrupting a phone call, playing on the computer or watching TV, which I only do because she isn't spending time with me and is always on the phone/Skype with her friends or family or playing video games of her own. Hell, if she put as much into our marriage as she does into that damn zynga poker game (she has won $20 million), we wouldn't have any issues.

She says I should give her a divorce, which I will never give her. I don't believe in it. She seems to think that if we got divorced that she would get our son after he is born. Hello? Police record? Acts more childish than I did when I was a kid, and my parents said I was a hellion. She can't manage money to pay for herself, never mind a baby too.

I won't give her a separation either, a husband and wife should always live together.

She is going to be a mother soon and she acts like a spoiled child. I told her if she wants to act like a child she will be treated like one. I told her she is grounded, no going out with her friends, etc. She is only allowed to go to work and to the doctors on her own. Anywhere else she wants to go, she has to go with me. I told her she is not allowed to drive; children are not allowed to drive cars.

She then tells me that it hurts when I call her a child; she'd rather that I hit her than call her names...... First off, guys should never hit a woman, especially the mother of your child. Second, she's 27, is going to be a mom in about 2 months, and she throws temper tantrums. What the hell else is she?

She wouldn't come to bed last night, opting for sleeping on the couch, complaining the entire time that it hurt her back and her stomach. I tried to carry her to bed, but with the 30 lbs. she gained since coming here, the baby weight, and her having a death grip on the couch, I couldn't do it.

She woke up this morning with the intention of walking to work, which I would not let her do. First, she's pregnant. Second, she woke up only an hour early. Normally she gets up 20 mins before she needs to be there. She was ready to leave 20 mins before she needed to be there, and it would have taken a fit person 52 mins to walk there, according to Google maps. Hello? Pregnant??

All this because she didn't put a measuring cup back and I interrupted a phone call.

[Dan and Judy 614]

You've created a monster.

[Ron and Rhea 42]

Was she that charming before being preggo...? If she was not that insane then you can perhaps attribute some of her behavior to her being preggo, however it also seems like she may need some work in the art of respect and communication. If she can't communicate without getting angry then that is a big problem. Tell her she needs to verbalize herself to you, not just act emotionally.

There is a great book, http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi6020_needs.html it may even be on cd, not sure. I would say you two need to read it, it will help you both.

[Arrta 1]

She was like this before becoming pregnant.

[cdneh 3,112]

You need to go for some Couples counseling. And yes some of what she is doing may be attributable to raging hormones.

[Arrta 1]

You need to go for some Couples counseling. And yes some of what she is doing may be attributable to raging hormones.

I have mentioned it in the past. What I get as a response is, "Oh? You cant handle things yourself? You need help?"

[Sayha or bust. 71]

You've created a monster.

Your right! He needs to deal! My wife asian also and she is the complete opposite . I admire his desire to stay married but another year from now he will have a change of heart. Sounds like she makes no time for him or really care to. I feel so blessed I don't have to deal with a woman like this. Good luck!

[cdneh 3,112]

I have mentioned it in the past. What I get as a response is, "Oh? You cant handle things yourself? You need help?"

My answer to that would be yes, we do. We need help.

[Dan and Judy 614]

I think this is the wife that had the foot surgery and was a holy terror then. OP needs to watch "The taming of the shrew"

[LIFE'SJOURNEY 970]

I have seen this kind of marriage before, she is NOT GOING TO CHANGE. You will needs to fiqure out how to live with this, the child will become a pinpong ball in this marriage. If she doesn't want to go to counseling, then you should go so you +1 can fiqure out how to survive this marriage.

Edited April 1, 2012 by LIFE'SJOURNEY

[Ning 619]

I always try to keep the kitchen organized. She knows where everything goes but does not care to try and put things back where they belong. So, when she puts things away they end up in the most bizarre places.It just means that I have to always ask where stuff is, and when I am done it goes back where it should have been.

Yesterday she asked for pancakes for breakfast. I could find all but the measuring cup I needed. I asked her for it 5 separate times as I cleaned the dishes that were left in the sink, she would not tell me because she considered talking to her friend on the phone more important. The 6th time I butted in, interrupting her call, she came into the kitchen and showed me where it was. Instead of it being in the cabinet above the prep area, with the rest of them, she pulled it from under the cook-top. Thanking her, I started making the pancakes, and she went back to her call. I heard her friend laughing on the phone from our antics. To me, and apparently her friend, it is a normal interaction that happens between married people.

When the pancakes were finished I called her again. She had just hung up the phone and came. Only instead of coming to get the pancakes, she lays into me saying things like I'm rude, she was on the phone, I don't respect her, etc. She then opted to not eat, because she was not hungry. Note: It was now 10am, and she had not eaten anything yet. She ended up throwing out the pancakes while I was doing the below.

I ate my half, tried and failed to get her to eat hers, took a shower, and proceeded to start making our grocery list. I decided the other day to go on a diet starting Monday. A coworker told me about a site that I was getting recipes from and adding what I needed to the grocery list. I made up a full weeks meal plan for me, she said she didn't want any of the stuff. She's pregnant, so she should be eating more, etc. She'll pick up what she wants when we are there. Whatever, I'm heavy enough I'm starting at 36 points on the weight watchers diet plan. The recipes I found are enough to satisfy that. They would have been fine.

After hounding me the entire time I was making the list about, am I done yet, when we are leaving, she wanted to go over her friends this afternoon,etc., I finished. Only to have to wait for her to take her shower and get ready because she didn't do anything but be mad at me, waste food, and try to annoy me.

I didn't know where a bunch of the stuff I needed for the recipes were. I had never even heard of a matzo cracker until the other day, so this trip took longer than normal. As we went through the store and I got the stuff on the list, she threw things in the basket that she wanted as well, it wasn't much. And she took most of it over her friends house later.

Towards the end of the list, trying to track down the obscure stuff I had no idea about, she started complaining about being hungry. It was now close to 2pm. She then proceeded to walk off in a huff.

I eventually found everything and got in line, called her several times because I could not find her, eventually paid for everything and went to the car thinking she might be there. She wasn't so I packed up the car, called her again several times, and then went back into the store to look for her. I found her at the service center. She had blown $10 on scratch tickets, and didn't win anything. She was now mad at wasting the money.

She got in the car, complaining about being hungry again. I was hungry too so I asked where she wanted to go. "I don't know." I gave her several options, to which she just told me to pick. We went to Burger King. Being hungry myself, and her having not eaten all day, I opted to go in. She opted to stay in the car and not eat??? I ordered, she stayed in the car. I ate; she eventually came in, complained the entire time, still did not eat but again complained about being hungry. I pointed out that she was acting more childish than the 3 kids that had just came in with their parents. She wanted me to hurry up because she wanted to go out with her friends.

We made it home, I unloaded the car and put away the refrigerated stuff, she stormed around the house saying I was taking too long, etc.She kicked things, threw things (her phone being one of them), pulled things out of the refrigerator and threw them out, etc. I had grabbed her keys saying she was not driving to her friends because only grown-ups are allowed to drive. She begged me for the keys, destroyed my key-ring trying to take mine from me,and partially undressed me, laughing the entire time like it was a joke, trying to convince me to give them to her so she could drive her friend to her other friends house, she would then come back and get me so I could drop her off at the same place. Apparently said friend had been waiting since we were at thestore for a ride. Her friends were waiting on her and were making food for her etc... I stuck to my guns and said I would drive.

Eventually we got in the car and left, more than a half hour after we had gotten home. Most of that time dealing with her temper tantrum. She wanted me to promise not to say anything to her friend. On the way we found out said friend had already gotten a ride, it was over an hour after we were at the store at this point. We rerouted to their destination so she could meet them. I forgot to give her keys back; I had used them to start the car because my keys were all over the place in my pocket as the key chain was destroyed.

After dropping her off I got a new key chain and bought stuff to work on the house.

She texted me later asking if I was home, she didn't have her keys so I had to be there to let her in. After getting home she again went off. I don't respect her, etc. We went back and forth about who is disrespecting who.

First off, she has been here for 4 years and still does not consider this home. I consider this disrespectful to our marriage and our family.

The following I consider as me respecting her and her disrespecting me.

When she got a job I let her manage her own money, which she has proven to not know how to manage. She contributes almost nothing to the family bills. She does give me $230 a month for the loan payment on the bathroom remodel but I had to negotiate with her on that. She used to only give me $200 a month to help with the rent on the apartment we had, which cost $1100 a month. She brings home $1000-$1400 a month, so that leaves her with $800-$1200 a month. She sends money to her family the day she gets paid; I have no issue with this. But she blows the rest on useless stuff, like $100 pocketbooks etc., and constantly complains about having no money. And she wonders why I say her becoming a stay at home mom, like she wants, is not going to hurt us financially? Yes this may be disrespectful, but it's the truth.

I taught her how to drive so she is not dependent on her friends, public transportation, or me to get where she needs to go. We still only have one car, because I can't afford to pay for 2 and insurance for both. Note above.

I get mad at her for things like not coming home when she gets out of work when she has the car. Because of this I can't do any of the errands I need to do. Wasting money on $100 pocketbooks or name brand clothing, or things we don't need.

She gets mad at me for stuff like interrupting a phone call, playing on the computer or watching TV, which I only do because she isn't spending time with me and is always on the phone/Skype with her friends or family or playing video games of her own. Hell, if she put as much into our marriage as she does into that damn zynga poker game (she has won $20 million), we wouldn't have any issues.

She says I should give her a divorce, which I will never give her. I don't believe in it. She seems to think that if we got divorced that she would get our son after he is born. Hello? Police record? Acts more childish than I did when I was a kid, and my parents said I was a hellion. She can't manage money to pay for herself, never mind a baby too.

I won't give her a separation either, a husband and wife should always live together.

She is going to be a mother soon and she acts like a spoiled child. I told her if she wants to act like a child she will be treated like one. I told her she is grounded, no going out with her friends, etc. She is only allowed to go to work and to the doctors on her own. Anywhere else she wants to go, she has to go with me. I told her she is not allowed to drive; children are not allowed to drive cars.

She then tells me that it hurts when I call her a child; she'd rather that I hit her than call her names...... First off, guys should never hit a woman, especially the mother of your child. Second, she's 27, is going to be a mom in about 2 months, and she throws temper tantrums. What the hell else is she?

She wouldn't come to bed last night, opting for sleeping on the couch, complaining the entire time that it hurt her back and her stomach. I tried to carry her to bed, but with the 30 lbs. she gained since coming here, the baby weight, and her having a death grip on the couch, I couldn't do it.

She woke up this morning with the intention of walking to work, which I would not let her do. First, she's pregnant. Second, she woke up only an hour early. Normally she gets up 20 mins before she needs to be there. She was ready to leave 20 mins before she needed to be there, and it would have taken a fit person 52 mins to walk there, according to Google maps. Hello? Pregnant??

All this because she didn't put a measuring cup back and I interrupted a phone call.

This isnt about a measuring cup or a phone call. This is about a wake up call. Answer the call and you will find a spolied, out of control Fillipina on the other end. Give her a dial tone & be ready to move on.

[Darnell 8,478]

i say -

give her the keys to the car, after you purchased a ragged out (but working) volvo station wagon from craigslist.

Then - stop speaking to her.

Then - start cooking for yerself - clean up yer mess after yer done.

Schedule yer own time to wash yer own clothes.

If she speaks to you, never, ever respond.

It seems she's not there because she loves you - and you need to facilitate her transforming into a 'room mate with kitchen privledges' sometime this April.

Later, after the child is born, have ONE conversation with her - to put the child up for adoption. Once the child is gone, you need to move out of the house, start a new life.

[wait a mo, is this an April Fools Day post?]

[LIFE'SJOURNEY 970]

When you'll where in the Phil, she made you feel like the tall Rat, now that she's here in the US, she is making you feel like the small mouse. You are going to have to decide if you like the cheese or not, but as I stated before I have seen this, and their marriage has lasted over 20 years.

i say -

give her the keys to the car, after you purchased a ragged out (but working) volvo station wagon from craigslist.

Then - stop speaking to her.

Then - start cooking for yerself - clean up yer mess after yer done.

Schedule yer own time to wash yer own clothes.

If she speaks to you, never, ever respond.

It seems she's not there because she loves you - and you need to facilitate her transforming into a 'room mate with kitchen privledges' sometime this April.

Later, after the child is born, have ONE conversation with her -

to put the child up for adoption

. Once the child is gone, you need to move out of the house, start a new life.

[wait a mo, is this an April Fools Day post?]

WOW where did this come from?

[Crashed~N2~Me 970]

Marc Marc Marc... ..I remember you

I always try to keep the kitchen organized. She knows where everything goes but does not care to try and put things back where they belong. So, when she puts things away they end up in the most bizarre places.It just means that I have to always ask where stuff is, and when I am done it goes back where it should have been.

Do you want to be nominated for some kind of award?

I am curious...were you voted most likely to be super organized in high school?

(and) Did you and your wife decide / agree on your preferred kitchen storage arrangement? (or) Do you just expect her to get it..coz..like...duuuhhh. Only a moron would put something somewhere other than where you would put it ...right?

Oh well...a man and his kitchen...

she would not tell me because she considered talking to her friend on the phone more important.

More important than... you...

I heard her friend laughing on the phone from our antics.

or....maybe she was laughing at you?

When the pancakes were finished I called her again. She had just hung up the phone and came. Only instead of coming to get the pancakes, she lays into me saying things like I'm rude, she was on the phone, I don't respect her, etc. She then opted to not eat, because she was not hungry. Note: It was now 10am, and she had not eaten anything yet. She ended up throwing out the pancakes while I was doing the below.

From this point on...your story makes me feel annoyed and irritated.. ..and...with a slight urge to ..well..You remind me of the times I would frog my little brother for being an irritating whiner cry baby.

Please stop behaving like an irritating whiner cry baby. Please behave like a man mature enough to be in a marriage. MOST OF ALL...Please stop trying to control any1 but yourself so you might find the emotional serenity you are seeking.

(now...I'm gonna have to go outside and hit something with a hammer until I feel calm and serene.. again...thanks)

Edited April 1, 2012 by Crashed~N2~Me

[Darnell 8,478]

WOW where did this come from?

4 years of marriage, and she pulls this? That's where it came from.