Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
Crashed~N2~Me

Filipina

176 posts in this topic

Recommended Posts

Filed: AOS (apr) Country: Philippines
Timeline

I agree. There are the intellectual, spiritual, emotional and physical aspects to any womom that men in failed marriages don't apprectiate. These aspects also needed to be given attention to in Filipino women. To view any woman including a Filipino woman as a unit (piece of meat and or maid) shows the shallowness of some men who wish to marry an Asian woman.


Sent I-129 Application to VSC 2/1/12
NOA1 2/8/12
RFE 8/2/12
RFE reply 8/3/12
NOA2 8/16/12
NVC received 8/27/12
NVC left 8/29/12
Manila Embassy received 9/5/12
Visa appointment & approval 9/7/12
Arrived in US 10/5/2012
Married 11/24/2012
AOS application sent 12/19/12

AOS approved 8/24/13

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am frustrated with the constant (posted) stereotypes, male chauvinism, abusive sexism and regular insults...thrown at Filipino women and culture.

IMO and my observation...There are not many men (relatively speaking) that seek and marry a Filipina following "western" relationship equality guidelines (so to speak). "It's a man's world" is the dominate mentality amongst (many but not all) men in Fil-Am relationships. That is (often but not always) why we see posts stating.."my Pinay" or .."my Filipina". (at 46 years old I have never heard an American..man or woman...refer to their spouse as...my American)

I refer to these (most but not all) men as "predators". They go to PI hunting a product.

One VJ poster often refers to Filipino women as "units" (even typing the statement makes my blood pressure rise). Not woman...lady...girl...or even female. Nope...he chooses .."unit". Tell me..is he thinking product or person?

Another will state..."having been married to 3 Filipinas...(get this) I KNOW THEM NOW AND HOW THE FILIPINA THINKS." (I don't think it's a good idea to take advice from a 3 time loser. Common denominator? The 3 time loser.)

Another poster..."believe me...I've been around the Filipina and I know how they can be." (Have I lost something in translation? Isn't this a blatant stereotype comment made by a racist?)

(I can quote many more examples but 3 is good for now.)

My question...what's the motivator? The root or roots of these offenses?

Asian Flu? Yellow Fever? Olongapo? AC? (The lure is cast and the fish bite?)

(is it) "Age doesn't matter in PI...? (I welcome stories about Pinay / Pinoy marriages with large (20+ years) age gaps...any1? any1?)

(could it be) Kano's rejected and burn out with failed "western" relationships having no confidence but the (often very few) Dollars they have in their pocket used to purchase a (better future) wife from a hopelessly impoverished family "gifting" away a breadwinner for a better tomorrow?

Thank you for reading. Any and all feedback is very welcome.

:thumbs:


 

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Filed: Lift. Cond. (pnd) Country: Spain
Timeline

Thank you! I had the same disgusted feeling but was unable to articulate it as well as you have.

When one guy was dumped by a Filipino woman, one of the posts in response said, "Just go sit at an open air cafe, and you'll find another ONE in no time."

...

As if a woman were nothing more than a used car - interchangeable and disposable. And the poster was treated as if he (and all other American men wanting to marry Filipinos) were God's gift to women.

Edited by litlmina

K-1 Process:
8/26/2011 - I-129f mailed
8/31/2011 - NOA1
2/03/2012 - RFE
2/09/2012 - RFE received through US Mail
2/14/2012 - RFE response mailed
2/16/2012 - RFE response received by CSC
2/17/2012 - Touch
3/08/2012 - NOA2
I-129f was approved in 190 days from NOA1 date.

3/15/2012 - NVC received
3/19/2012 - NVC left

3/21/2012 - Embassy received
3/28/2012 - Packet 3 received by beneficiary

...

01/28/2013 - Married

03/11/2013 - Sent AOS packet

05/17/2013 - EAP and AP approved in 66 days

10/26/2013 - Green Card Production email notification

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I agree. There are the intellectual, spiritual, emotional and physical aspects to any womom that men in failed marriages don't apprectiate. These aspects also needed to be given attention to in Filipino women. To view any woman including a Filipino woman as a unit (piece of meat and or maid) shows the shallowness of some men who wish to marry an Asian woman.

:thumbs:

I remember..as a child...watching WW2 movies and observing the Asian women were portrayed as submissive and obedient to men. I was like... :wow:

I will say that my wife has eradicated any childhood delusions I might have been holding. :help::lol:

:thumbs:

Thanks Benny. :)

Edited by Crashed~N2~Me

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Great post Crashed...

My Wife is exactly that and she just happens to be from the Philippines. I've had a hard time with some of the posts discussing Filipinas as they're children. The patterns almost alwys is something like:

Older white guy with a failed marriage or 3 hunts a child bride in the Philippines (usually because he believes he can control her or something like that).

He treats her like a spoiled child through-out the K-1 process and throws every extra cent he can scrape together at her.

Once she arrives in the US he either expects her to instantly be the perfect wife and shed the childish mannerisms that he had previously encouraged or he gets upset because she expresses an opinion of her own.

When things fall apart it's because she scammed him!

I'll admit my wife is 27 and I'm 42. I'll admit that she has at times acted immature. But I've never treated her like a child and I've always expected her to be my partner in our marriage and life together.

I do think at least on of the persons here using the term :Filipina Unit" does it tongue in cheek and that doesn't offend me.

Thanks Bob. :)

I'm glad you caught my POV. I'm not casting a net over every Fil-Am couple...I'm targeting 1's like you describe.

I hope you are right about the "tongue in cheek"...based on repeated posts...I'm not too sure...I'm interested in identifying the motivation behind some posters choice of words. I'm open minded to other perspectives and willing to understand.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you! I had the same disgusted feeling but was unable to articulate it as well as you have.

When one guy was dumped by a Filipino woman, one of the posts in response said, "Just go sit at an open air cafe, and you'll find another ONE in no time."

...

As if a woman were nothing more than a used car - interchangeable and disposable. And the poster was treated as if he (and all other American men wanting to marry Filipinos) were God's gift to women.

You are welcome and Thank you too. :)

I will state...although I agree with you regarding the feelings of disgust...you know what IMO...unfortunately...there is a bit of truth to the comment about it being fairly ez to find another. Men are not the only one's to blame for perpetuating the "product" image. (I think) Due to the hope for a better life...there are more than a few willing to trade ethics / integrity / love for monetary gain and a life in America. Ouch. :wacko:

Edited by Crashed~N2~Me

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Philippines
Timeline

Wow, great post. This should get the administrator busy.. I agree except for: its ok to call a woman from the phils a filipina and a man a filipino. I have worked with many Filipino's and this is not prejudice. Of course, if you use it in the wrong context it is.

And yes, I know of 3 stories just off the top of my head where the guy is 20+ to the woman and they are filipino's. And they are doing well, again it's true age doesn't matter. It matters more what social class you are from in the Phils. A well off to do family, will not and will do everything to end it, stop their son from having a relationship with a poor girl. They are very prejudice!!!!!! Ask them and they will tell you absolutely 100%!!!! ANd I also know and have heard of many filipino's that are married to their wives that are relatively close to their age and have 2-3 young girlfriends on the side. A friend of mine, his nephew is married with two kids and he has 6 gf's on the side.. SO what is better????

My fiancee's father had 40 years to the plus of her mother.. Do you think she is concerned of an age gap between the two of us? I treat her just like I want to be treated and we talk about everything. There is alot of love, even everyone says it and see's it... Doesn't matter our ages.

Again great post and I had lots to say negative to some of the prejudice guys on here, but just wanted to walk out the door with a smile on my face because I still can't kiss my beautiful filipina before I leave for work to get that smile... PEace out!


27 January 2012: Mailed I-129F

03 February 2012: NOA1( e-mail & Text)

03 February 2012: Check Cashed

NO RFE'S

22 June 2012 : NOA2 (e-mail & Text)

16 July 2012: Manila Case Number(by phone)

17 July 2012: Interview paid at BPI

19 July 2012: Set interview for Mid-Aug

23-24 July 2012: Medical St. Lukes(passed)

24 July 2012: CFO Seminar(had to go next morning for landline #)- PASSED

02 Aug 2012: Received e-mail from USEM our case is there.

15 Aug 2012: Interview at USEM - APPROVED

13 SEP 2012: POE Minneapolis, MN

27 OCT 2012: Married

19 NOV 2012: AOS package sent

05 DEC 2012: NOA's I-765, I-131, I-485

14 DEC 2012: Biometrics appointment finished(Walk-in..Was scheduled Jan 04 2013)

02 FEB 2013: I-131 and I-765 Approved

07 FEB 2013: USPS Picked up the combo-card

11 FEB 2013: Received Combo-card

21 FEB 2013: Transit Visa picked up in Chicago for Japan

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The problem seems to stem from what American men think is the reality of a Filipina. Small, docile, weak, will clean your house like hired help, always ready for 'loving', seen and not heard, will do whatever I say etc (anything that's not 'Feminazi' related). Now where does this image come I don't know but somehow its has perpetuated.

Another will state..."having been married to 3 Filipinas...(get this) I KNOW THEM NOW AND HOW THE FILIPINA THINKS." (I don't think it's a good idea to take advice from a 3 time loser. Common denominator? The 3 time loser.)

I share similar sentiments to the point of its not only that 'the loser' is the problem but also the Filipina. Obviously 'the loser' and this nationality isn't compatible, so why are you hell bent on making the same mistake over and over? Why not marry an Aussie, an African or an Ecuadorian woman if your so desparate for companionship?

..."believe me...I've been around the Filipina and I know how they can be." (Have I lost something in translation?

Simply put they have created 'monsters' and don't want to deal with 'them,'. There is a precedence that everyone establishes when entering a relationship. If you spoil someone by buying them this and that, sharing the work load equally or you're at their every beck and call then you better continue with it because this is what you have brought to the table so your spouse expects nothing less.

...what's the motivator?

What they 'percieve' other American men to have (which may work beautifully for those couples), the 'mail order bride' concept, what they pretty much see on TV or the adoption of the inaccurate reality of a few men. I can't pin point exactly the cause but I recall asking a friend 'What's the reason why American men like Asian porn?' The response was he isn't sure himself but it could be that they are literally small and easy to maneuver. Which leads to my first statement, 'Asia' isn't westernized and so you still have some 'old time gals' in this world.

could it be) Kano's rejected and burn out with failed "western" relationships having no confidence but the (often very few) Dollars they have in their pocket used to purchase a (better future) wife from a hopelessly impoverished family "gifting" away a breadwinner for a better tomorrow?

You hit the nail on the head because I said these same things to someone else.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I will say that my wife has eradicated any childhood delusions I might have been holding. :help::lol:

Good. :star: Better be! :devil:


Immigration Timeline Summary

10.21.2008 – CR-1 Visa Application Filed (By Hubby's Sec)
09.04.2009 – Visa Interview | Passed
09.10.2009 – Visa Packet Received
09.17.2009 – US Entry | Home
07.05.2011 – ROC Petition Filed
05.01.2012 – ROC Approved (No Interview)
05.18.2012 – 10-year GC Received
06.19.2012 – Eligible to apply for Naturalization
(procrastinated)
06.24.2013 – N-400 Application Filed
09.30.2013 – Civics Test / Interview | Passed
10.03.2013 – Oath Taking Ceremony | Became a USCitizen!
04.14.2014 – Applied for "Expedite Service" Passport (as PI travel date was fast approaching)
04.16.2014 – Passport Issued & Shipped
04.17.2014 – US Passport Received

Our timeline vanished into thin air.

I've contacted the admin several times but I got zero response.

https://meiscookery.wordpress.com

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

cheers for you... yeah some kano's refer us filipina as like that.. i just so lucky that my CASPER husband never tagged me like that...

over all great POST

:thumbs: ^^

If my husband ever refer / treat me as such then the front door to our house will be split in half. :devil: I'm glad that hubby is not anything like those wanna be "KING" men. :whistle:

I think it is because hubby ko was taught good moral conduct and how to treat a woman with respect by his great parents.

Edited by ~happyndinlove~

Immigration Timeline Summary

10.21.2008 – CR-1 Visa Application Filed (By Hubby's Sec)
09.04.2009 – Visa Interview | Passed
09.10.2009 – Visa Packet Received
09.17.2009 – US Entry | Home
07.05.2011 – ROC Petition Filed
05.01.2012 – ROC Approved (No Interview)
05.18.2012 – 10-year GC Received
06.19.2012 – Eligible to apply for Naturalization
(procrastinated)
06.24.2013 – N-400 Application Filed
09.30.2013 – Civics Test / Interview | Passed
10.03.2013 – Oath Taking Ceremony | Became a USCitizen!
04.14.2014 – Applied for "Expedite Service" Passport (as PI travel date was fast approaching)
04.16.2014 – Passport Issued & Shipped
04.17.2014 – US Passport Received

Our timeline vanished into thin air.

I've contacted the admin several times but I got zero response.

https://meiscookery.wordpress.com

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wow, great post.

Thank you. :)

I agree except for: its ok to call a woman from the phils a filipina and a man a filipino. I have worked with many Filipino's and this is not prejudice. Of course, if you use it in the wrong context it is.

I must have not conveyed my meaning correctly. Let me clarify. I agree it is OK to refer to someone using their nationality (heritage). I don't think it is always appropriate when used in an objectifying way.

And yes, I know of 3 stories just off the top of my head where the guy is 20+ to the woman and they are filipino's. And they are doing well, again it's true age doesn't matter. It matters more what social class you are from in the Phils. A well off to do family, will not and will do everything to end it, stop their son from having a relationship with a poor girl. They are very prejudice!!!!!! Ask them and they will tell you absolutely 100%!!!! ANd I also know and have heard of many filipino's that are married to their wives that are relatively close to their age and have 2-3 young girlfriends on the side. A friend of mine, his nephew is married with two kids and he has 6 gf's on the side.. SO what is better???? My fiancee's father had 40 years to the plus of her mother.. Do you think she is concerned of an age gap between the two of us? I treat her just like I want to be treated and we talk about everything. There is alot of love, even everyone says it and see's it... Doesn't matter our ages.

I don't dispute there are successful marriages regardless of age difference. I am considering the age demographic impact on relationship dynamics. Meaning...In America...there are many marriages (American to American) with a substantial age difference. (but) These (large age gap American) marriages are in the minority. I venture a guess it is the same in PI. (But) When reviewing the Fil-Am marriages...I think the large age gap marriages comprise a larger percentage of total demographic..soooo...I'm wondering if perhaps...The "I'm older and you are younger so I dominate and you submit" ..mentality..is more common for these marriages....? Did that make sense? Coz I think I confused myself while typing it. :wacko::lol:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
 
Didn't find the answer you were looking for? Ask our VJ Immigration Lawyers.
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
Sign in to follow this  
- Back to Top -


Important Disclaimer: Please read carefully the Visajourney.com Terms of Service. If you do not agree to the Terms of Service you should not access or view any page (including this page) on VisaJourney.com. Answers and comments provided on Visajourney.com Forums are general information, and are not intended to substitute for informed professional medical, psychiatric, psychological, tax, legal, investment, accounting, or other professional advice. Visajourney.com does not endorse, and expressly disclaims liability for any product, manufacturer, distributor, service or service provider mentioned or any opinion expressed in answers or comments. VisaJourney.com does not condone immigration fraud in any way, shape or manner. VisaJourney.com recommends that if any member or user knows directly of someone involved in fraudulent or illegal activity, that they report such activity directly to the Department of Homeland Security, Immigration and Customs Enforcement. You can contact ICE via email at Immigration.Reply@dhs.gov or you can telephone ICE at 1-866-347-2423. All reported threads/posts containing reference to immigration fraud or illegal activities will be removed from this board. If you feel that you have found inappropriate content, please let us know by contacting us here with a url link to that content. Thank you.
×
×
  • Create New...