winnie george

Just got a text from Dwheels..................................... They have been approved

Just got a text from Dwheels..................................... They have been approved

There are laws and there are norms. It's the law that you are required to carry your GC all the time and it's the norm that nobody will ask for it as long as you provide the other forms of identification like Driver License or State ID. How many of us have been asked to show GC while travelling in the US?
The need of carrying a Drivers License (and not its photocopy) while driving is comparable to the need of carrying a GC while crossing the Border.

Sure will look into that. Thank you

Contact a lawyer, FBI maybe: he could be a future terrorist especially if he is going back to Pakistan and the purpose of being naturalize would be to enter the US police academy. Who knows! Get a divorce, contact Immigration department to report the forged signature and all you said. I doubt he would be a good US citizen if he doesn't believe nor respect the US constitution. Pack your bags so he can't find you.

NOT TRUE PLEASE,............. do not say what you dont know

Please consider carefully the desire to marry someone you have never met in person. Learning how you travel together, live together, do finances, take care of personal things, family, all these items will dramatically affect your marriage. This person may be very lovely and charming online and on the phone, but you two may discover that taking a vacation together is an absolute nightmare. You pack light, he brings the kitchen sink. You like to go to the beach and relax, he wants to hike through the jungle for 5 days and camp. Really please, if you are truly to be together, take the time to learn these things. My fiancé and I have known each other for 5 years and only been dating for just under 2. We have seen each other multiple times, learned the quirky things about each other and learned how to adjust. This stuff can get really complicated if you are married and have the pressure of trying to make it work just because. 20 years from now, you will find that the 1-2 years of being engaged, seeing each other, surviving a long distance relationship is nothing to what you have in the end......
good luck!

You do have to meet within two years. Would you really want to marry someone you have never met?

N:B Everything i am going to say is my opinion
First,i will say it is sad and i am sorry you are in such dilemma but then just so you know,i am a man and i will speak to you as one,at 'least of my kind', as much as you are in a relationship ,you have equal right to be happy,immature people are not allowed in marriages or relationship heading towards that direction,relationship is meant for Adults and for people who have the mind of their own and are willing to let go whatever they have to let go to have whom they truly love.I will want to think you are probably older than him and yes you are so much in love with him and scared to loose him cos starting all over again is unthinkable right now maybe.
Sorry about my epistle but let me say that,this man has shown signs of withdrawal and it is very glaring,and it is either he has the documents or not but if you are sure he truly have this documents but has refused to put together to send then the signs are written all over this,we all get 24hrs in a day,i hate to hear it when people say they are busy about things that is majorly about their life,irritating,what kind of job takes 24/7 x 31 days in a month,i do not agree with any excuse,even if you can't leave your duty post,there will be a friend or someone you can always send on errand to go post it,this things are not hard,why are men like this? Stop breaking this beautiful people's heart,stop getting committed if you not ready.
I believe you see everything better than everyone here and your spirit will already be telling you the next step to take,don't struggle cos you are in love,God didn't plan any relationship to be hell,we humans create the hell in it,we make everything hard for ourselves.
Age is just numbers and if in this case you are older,please exhibit your maturity here and be wise.
Pray.Listen to God.Think it through. Strategize. Act.Be Happy.Life is too short to wait forever for a document.
It is the divinely designed for the man to do the 'Chasing' ,a true loving man,not by mere words, will go after his woman and do everything to wake up to her every morning.
You see it all better than all of us here.

Are you sending him money for various things? Sometimes they have no intentions of moving to America but will use you for your money. They will string you along for as long as they can. As soon as it gets close to interview or paperwork, they start acting funny.

He is seeing someone else trust me...

When I sent my fiance a list of the documents I needed from her, I got them back in about 12 hours. She doesn't even have a printer or scanner in her house. If you want my opinion, I'd say he is lying to you. Stalling since November is not procrastination or "Africa time," it's "I don't actually care about you." He has another woman, I'd bet $100 on it. Why would you want to marry someone you have so many doubts about anyway? We all have some little minor doubts or worries, but your situation is pretty bad, IMO.

YES you can carry a shoulder bag, while i went for mine i had with me a roller suitcase and a shoulder bag as well...... you can carry any bag as far as what you have inside it just your documents and supporting evidence, and you dont have any sharp objects, phone etc....... Inside the interview room, i dropped my shoulder bag on the counter top and my suitcase on the floor, what i had inside my shoulder bag was mostly evidence the CO might ask for that way it will be quick for me to reach out and get........
Dont bother taking your X-ray, they wont ask for it just go with the sealed envelope and DO NOT open it until they ask you too do so......

Are you for real.... No one is siding your wife, i have been reading your posts and i have doubts about it all........ We don't even know if you are saying the truth, we can't just believe any TOM ####### and HARRY that comes on here and posts stuffs about their marriage and expect us to give you an advice on what to do....... I wish i can hear your wife's side of the story as well

I'm trying really hard not to find this statement comical but I can't help myself...a grown man "left in the bedroom with no heat to suffer"...come on?!!?!! Is this for real? Its like its trying to pave the way for a case of "abuse" - left in the cold bedroom to freeze - but its just too ridiculous. In a country of central heating, I find it EXTREMELY hard to believe there would be "no heat" in the main bedroom. How do they sleep in there then? And even if its true, ummm...why didn't this grown man walk out of the bedroom and end his suffering? Again, comical.
And to add to that OP, you bounce between declaring undying love, and calling her evil - it just oozes fake. I smell a scam - and perhaps your wife realized it sooner than you were hoping. So you are afraid for your status far more than your marriage....which is why you're posting here...instead of working it out with your wife. The NUMBER ONE cause of divorce is SELFISHNESS. If you indeed want to save your marriage, stop being so selfish. And if you think its your wife who is being selfish, and you are doing everything right, then your marriage is a lost cause. Cheers!

I'm not siding with her because she's American, I am the foreigner here. I'm siding with her based on YOUR posts. You have been using her for a roof over your head. You send money "home" but don't help with bills. You put money to "save for YOUR future" but don't help out your wife, YOUR family here in the US.
You weren't alone. YOU are choosing to be alone because of your self-stated selfish desires.

Please grow up a bit. When you marry and live with your spouse there are chores to be done before you can go have fun. If you live in a regular compound there are things to do in the yard, things to fix on the house, things that need to be done with the car. Inside there are dishes to wash, clothes to clean, floors to sweep. It doesn't matter who does which chore as long as the chores are done you can go enjoy your life. You whine like a child about the chores your wife expects you to help with . It seems you tihnk you should do no chores and enjoy your life and your wife should take care of all of the chores. You both need an adult talk about dividing the work. You can either pick separate chore or slipt the ones to be done ( you do dishes on even days , she on odd ) The same for the bills , you each need some money for yourself ( or to send to family if that is what you do with "your" money) You need to act like a husband and not like a spoiled child that expects their mother to give them everything and not interupt their play. I don't side with her for being a USC but I am ashamed at the way you want to be a child when you took the role of a husband.

My ex was horrid. I worked, he got money from his parents (international student). He finished university 6 months before starting his graduate medical program and sat at home all day playing on the computer.
Our agreement was I do the dishes, he cooks. Well I'm sorry but that does not include the dishes from you sitting around all day! he would never take out the trash "I didn't go that way", or collect the mail from the mailbox "I didn't go that way". He didn't want to help pay for gas for me schlepping over to the grocery store because "he didn't come". Never mind it was OUR groceries.
My husband doesn't do the dishes unless he's bored. He can't cook (I don't want to die or live on mac&cheese). I take out the trash on a Friday morning because he leaves REALLY early in the morning. I get the mail when I walk the dogs (have to actually go to the post office). Difference between this and my ex is he at least appreciates it. It's all about attitude.
Sounds like this OP has issues helping out financially or doing "women work"... even though in the womens vs. men mindset typically it means the man is the hunter-gather and the woman the homemaker.. this guy wants her to do both and let him live his life.
Responses in red above.
As others have said, you're using her financially. It doesn't matter that she makes more than you, you should be helping her with the bills. "Your" savings are actually her savings as well, so be prepared to give her half when you divorce. She's been supporting you like you were a child. As she said, you can't live somewhere for free and you're trying to do so. You're using her for a roof over your head and someone to pay the bills. Good luck surviving on what you make without her carrying you.
My husbands pays ALL the household bills, I pay for the groceries, and of course gas my truck (and for parts if it needs it). We discuss the split of bills regularly (I do it to make sure he doesn't feel taken advantage of) and from time to time I offer to pay a bill to give him more spending money (which he never takes me up on).
Money issues are the #1 reason for divorce.

Your family was probably doing fine before you got here too.
Give love a chance? What makes you think you can put yourself and your family back home first and your marriage and household second and pull that off? She expects you to be a MAN and ended up with a dependent and selfish boy-child.
No wonder she wants to trade your a$$ in.

Charlesandmerie, the OP is asking for someone with experience about how these additional evidences are being handled at NVC... Did you have experience of what you just commented or you were speculating? Well, for the fact that DS230 allows you to submit additional evidence of ongoing relationship means that what you have just posted lacked expertize... Workers at NVC are well trained to understand the importance of every piece of evidence you submitted and they place it in your case file... The only reasonable thing to worry about is whether they can missplace a document, which in itself can happen unintentionally... When you sarcastically suggest NVC destroys documentary evidence because it's well detailed far more than the mere academics, you didn't sound professional... Now, Debbie remember to make a replica copies of everything you send to NVC including photo evidence and make a cover letter stating all items included in chronological order... The cover letter makes the work easy for whoever that's reviewing your package to locate the items he/she needed without stress... You know this is what I have done and it was great!
P.S DS230 allows you to send in unlimited documentary evidence... You can review the instruction if you're not too sure... Wishing you the best of luck, Debie

Please brothers and sisters in the forum can we thread softly whenever someone post such a delicate issues as divorce! First of all the OP seemed to know his wife better and has admitted the wife love peace... Now, non seemed to care about the pain the wife must have been through in their marriage... Therefore, set aside divorce and turn over a new leaf if you were the one causing your wife unecessary heartache... But if she's the one who would not allow peace to reign, I doubt she will be asking for a divorce in the first place... Let's put on our thinking cap... Are you posting this to seek an evidence to show you're innocent? Well, remember where you're coming from and marriage involve two great people who are there to make life worth living for the other, and not otherwise ok... I'll not take side, sorry!!!

All I can say is WE SERVE AN AWESOME GOD, Congratulations

HELLOOOO VJ,
This post is made for those who have gotten to know me over the years, since 2007 to be exact. For those who have followed my story since I married my nigerian husband back in 2007. Those who read of the indiscretions and the hard times, and watched me forgive him since he stated he would not make that mistake again and promised transparency in the marriage from here on. Well thing got better for a while but within time, things began to go back to what got us in the mess we were in from the start of the affair. In all fairness, I did NOT catch him red handed again, however I am no fool at 41 years old. You know what Ladies, he could not meet up to the requirements of being a loving, honest, trustworthy, responsible husband. Someone posted something recently about lacking affection, lacking concern, being secretive about his life outside of the home. Yes, those were all the things that he continued to struggle with even after we decided to give it another go round. He said he loved me when I asked and promised not to leave, which he never did. That's the part that baffled me, this man did not want to act like a husband but yet he refused to leave the home. He got his 10 yr greencard some time ago so that wasn't the issue. To this day, I honestly feel that he felt it was acceptable to have a loving wife at home but OK to behave like a single man. It's almost like he wanted th best of both worlds. Well...... I'm sorry ladies, I deserve better. You see, I didn't come from a home where love was lacking. My mother gave me unconditional love day and night. So when I began to see how lonely I felt inside, how miserable I had become and how my childen must have felt watching their so called step Dad come in and out whenever he wanted without a word spoken, how he would be unaccounted for several hours, I knew I had to step up and set a fine example if not for me for my lovely children. They accepted this man into the home based on their trusting my decision and the fact that he called them regularly when in africa and promised to teach them soccer, prepare nigerian dishes, hangout and just be a good friend to them. Instead, he lied, cheated and was very disrspectful in his behavior toward me. What kind of message would I be sending to my son and daughters. To my son, is this how a man should treat hs wife? NO. To my daughters, Is this how a man should treat you? NO. So for all these reasons I asked him to leave and I will tell you this man did NOT leave without a fight. I had to call in the troops, literally, the troops meaning my brothers. I'm not sure why he wanted to remain here when he was NOT loving me or the kids the way he had promised in Nigeria. So to the question asked by someone, do they change when they get here? For me, my answer is YES. What he did not realize is that when he met me he met his match. Like I said before I was well loved as a child, so I know when it's time to call it quits. I was also taught that a woman is supposed to be respected, loved, cherised and handled with care. I am thankful to finally have the wisdom to know the difference between REAL love and an illusion. So while we have been separated for 4 months, I have not filed for divorce yet but plan to next year. He sent me a text the other day and said he was sorry for being a jerk and he doesn't know why he has such a hard time being honest and get this... he said I will always be special. He then asked if he could have another chance and come home, I I said "No". Always remember, if they hurt you once, shame on them, if it happens again and you take them back, shame on you. He needs to get out on his own and face his demons head on. Some men have to learn a hard lesson in order to grow. I sleep like a baby at nigt now. The world has been lifted from my delicate shoulders and my eyes have dried from all the tears shedded throught the years. The shock is over and I now know, it was a HUGE chance I took for love. It was emotional the first month, but it is getting easier by the day. I know what I'm worth and what i deserve, it may have taken me 41 years to figure this out but i won't settle for less than I deserve. I am a good woman with a lot to offer the right person. Unfortunately, he is not that man, right now anyway.

Congratsssss

Damed if you do damed if you dont. People want to know and when they do negativity still comes out. The world in which we live in me keep moving on. People are happy about there own situations. This is the way life is. Other things happen for others and I either support with positiveness or keep quiet. Stay focused. Everyone is happy about the person they are with for their own personal reasons. I may not agree with your reasons but who am I to judge. Remember only God can Judge.