Welshcookie

Must say i had to read this post twice, I am hoping that gretchen, while young, is wise and can understand all this. Any asawa would be insulted when described as a "Friend" to friends and or family. I would think any guy who has gone thru the process of getting ( his asawa here, would be shouting from the mountain tops about his fiancee,( wife). Personally I would have taken the time to tell everyone , parents and friends, all the details about the relationship especially in this case with all the potential issues. I would never put my asawa in a situation that could blow up, its hard enough on her to be away from home, without a good support system, but to have to deal with a husband that describes her as a friend, and a family with no knowledge of her existance is beyind the pail.
Think I will just leave it at that.... being nice

WOW...you actually told your cousin Carol that you will bring along a FRIEND who's name is Gretchen which is your wife???? - You just referred her to your cousin as a friend...If it is my husband saying that, I would be terribly hurt. - Thanks goodness my husband always had never refered me as a friend even those time we were engaged he referred me as his fiancee. - anyways, just saying and I guess whatever your reason is, you know what works best for you both - Merry Christmas!

So why are you taking your wife into the wolves den on a important date as Christmas, when the masses there will be against her. This is evil.

This doesn't sound entirely functional.

this thread is nuts

You say that until it's someone close to you - a relative, spouse or child. Of course, if you are an anti-social loner who despises people in general, then there's nobody to care about but yourself because eventually nobody wants to be around that kind of BS.

one post removed for
Make comments in a Post either direct or implied toward another member that are purposely designed to upset, antagonize, make fun of, belittle, or otherwise instigate an argument that takes away from the personal enjoyment of the Service by other users.
along with two quoting.
the

has been swung.

The reality is that there are many conditions a person can suffer that will run up huge medical bills that no average American is in a position to pay for. In fact, most above average Americans could not possibly afford them. Only a tiny sliver of the population could. What you try to sell under #1 there is your personal wishful thinking. It would be nice if that was the reality, of course. But no matter how nice it would be, it is not the reality we live in. And it won't be. Not in our lifetimes. With that said, your #2 now amounts to saying that unless you have a few million dollars in the bank, do not have kids. Having kids then becomes a priviledge that maybe 5% of the population could actually afford. And that is about as ridiculous a suggestion as anyone can possibly make.

Absolutely - the problems with American culture are not limited to women.

I take offense to this. From experience, I know that there's just as many crazy b*$&*es in N. America as there are in S. America. They're everywhere. All over the world. No one is safe!
The US is a huge country, with different states having different "cultures" so to speak. I'm quite tired of the "American Women are fat, complicated, lazy" banter. Because it's just not true. Sure, there are fat, lazy, crazy American women. But there's also fat, lazy, crazy American men.
A great lesson I've learned in life is "to each his/her own." If you want to marry someone from another country, go for it. If that makes you happy, awesome. I did, and couldn't be happier. But don't overgeneralize and stereotype an entire country full of women just to justify your decision. One day you may have a daughter, and she'll be an American woman, right? Do you think she would deserve to be lumped into that stereotype? I don't think so. I know my daughter sure doesn't.
I don't stereotype American men, although there are crappy ones that exist, sure. I'm well aware that there's lots of great American men I could have married. Heck, I have some great friends and relatives - all American men, all awesome. My sons are American.

-1 for disappearing threads.

Interesting that rev. Brown has chosen to cast this stone. Perhaps he skimmed over some required reading. It wasn't all that long ago that the pedophile elephant was hiding in the church closet.

That's fine. How about we just let his words speak for themselves.
In a thread entitled "Germany reopens hundreds of Nazi probes", he responded:
http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/332849-germany-reopens-hundreds-of-nazi-probes/page__view__findpost__p__4937398
Readers can draw their own conclusions about who this person really is and what his beliefs are, about Nazis and about Jews.

While Bob maybe helpful, I think that many of his replies sound condescending and arrogant. Perhaps they aren't intended that way but that's how some of them read to me. People go to the upper forums for help and at times they are confused, scared, desperate, etc. Personally I see no reason to kick them when they are down for asking a simple question or something they may have missed reading the guides or not reading the guides. This isn't directed at Bob personally, I am just pointing out that there are a few regular "helpers" in the upper forums who do this and continually get away with it.

Whew! That's a lot of preparation. None of those my husband did to prepare when I first got here. Would it be better if you just let her learn on her own, don't get pissed when she makes mistakes?

You want the real answers or just poking fun?
There are 116 women for every 100 men in Ukraine and that is the average for young women. The odds are far higher against them at age 30 or 40. The average life span of a man in Ukraine is 58, a woman 77. Population dymanics. The dfference is OBVIOUS. If you do not know what 116 women to 100 men looks like on the street...go to Ukraine.
Alcoholism is a pervasive problem in the FSU. FSU women do not like drunks because they are notr reliable and FSU women are very traditional in their beliefs of the roles for women in the family which is still incredibly important there. She sees a drunk as nothing but trouble. Scratch 30% of the men at least, maybe 50%. Now the odds are 116 to what? 75? maybe. That means if ALL the Russian men who aren't drunks marry ALL the women, it leaves 41 women unmarried out 116. OR 16 unmarried and 25 miserable, abused women. Those are not good odds, even for musical chairs.
Now add in that there is a strong cultural desire for women to be married and care for a family. I am almost done with demographics.
the other is that any man can look good when he is 22 or 23, but maybe he will be a drunk by age 33 and they will be divorced with two kids. Now if a guy is 50 and he has a good job (good means stable and pays enough to live, not necessarily "rich")and is not an alcoholic and is not abusive, then he probably will not be ever. If he is from American he has a life expectancy of 79. Not bad at all! I am not all that much older than Alla, she looks younger than she is. I don't. Our age difference is slightly more than common in the USA but not much. We do know some couple with age differences of 30 years, Alla and I are on the "low side" for age difference in the couples we know. None of them make any judgements, Alla's best friend has a husband 30 years older than her and I have never heard Alla even mention it.
A large portion of the population, less now than before, were raised in the Soviet Union and had a lot of disapointment in life. They have had a difficult life. There are things burned into the memory of the little girl that is now my MIL, that I do not have the fortitude to discuss and I stand in awe of the woman, to be frank. They were always told of the glory of communism and that the promised land was just on the horizon. Promises and maybes and things that fade mean nothing to those people. You can not understand it and I cannot either, though maybe just a tad better than the average American.
So they do not care about yor bank account, your car, or even your home as long as it is enough for the family and their idea of "enough" is quite less than yours or mine. I assure you. Money gets lost, it has twice in my wife's lifetime simply evaporated and been worthless the next day. You have no idea of that and wouldn't handle it well. Cars work for a while and break. So does the hot water and elevator. They believe it will.
They want something enduring, good looks are not enduring, anyone with a brain can see that. Women do not concern themselves with good looks for men.
I assure you my wife believes she has hit the jackpot with me. I have a woodshop and make her things, I remodel all the rooms in our home and do amazing ceramic tile work, our kitchen and bathrooms look as good as anyone making ten times my income because I do it myself. She eats on a table I made, sleeps on the bed I made, hangs her clothes in the wardrobe I made, all design copies from Italian furniture catalogs she dreamed about but knew she could never own. We go places together whenever we can, there is no one I would rather be with, for any reason. I care for the kids as if they were my own, she KNOWS that now and that is what she imagined before we married. I make them a priority as she does. I am a warm fuzzy bear she takes a bath with every night and holds all night who keeps her warm and safe. She gets to live her lfie as she dreamed, caring for family, doing a job using her education, using the skills she loves to use. There are richer, better looking guys than me, but try to find one that will really care for her, help her with her difficult education, teach the bys to drive, help Pasha to learn English. You cannot buy those things from my wife. I guess I could go on. Never mind.
Frankly, a woman that says "Why is SHE with YOU?" is exactly the kind of superficial woman I had no interest in. And it is a fact that an American woman cannot have the combination of life experiences that result in the qualities I admire in my FSU wife. The recipe is all wrong. Not to say that someone else doesn't want that, or prefer that. I can imagine that sentence will be the only one some people focus on. Oh, well. Just proves the case.
I am very proud of my intelligent, talented, loving, caring and drop dead gorgeous wife. I consider myself the luckiest man on earth. And while people who would rather think bad things like to say I only care about her looks, you would have to ignore that I proudly post her other accomplishments since she has arrived and not just to brag (a little bragging OK) but to show other women from other non-native English speaking countries that they CAN succeed, have a rewarding life, and make progress in their new home

Or...you could just do the right thing and not steal someone else's seat! I've never understood that...I'll go to a concert, board an airplane, or attend a sporting event, and sure as hell...some idiot is sitting in my seat. It always amuses me when they try to act like they didn't know what they were doing "Oh, these aren't our seats, I'm sorry." "Yeah, no kidding, didn't you notice that this is section 102 and your tickets say section 305?" It's called integrity...get some!

If these women are so amazing and superior, how did they end up with you guys?

Darren has started another thread....... ................ I'm sorry but you'll not get too much sympathy airing out your 50's man/woman mentality here. I understand it may work for you but there's going to be many who have a problem with it. Best of luck with the MIL problems. Sometimes it's not what you say, it's how you say it to convince/encourage others to do the right thing or to modify behaviors.
Bob

i don't know but somehow i feel sorry for her already.... tsk... tsk... tsk... all i can say to her is "Good Luck!"

She is mine now?
I control you?
Who wears the pants and dresses?
Purpose of your post? You have a fiancee not property.

Someone has unresolved issues

You should unfriend this person, having him on your feed is going to kill your brain cells slowly.

The guy is a moron. Who pays child support and who qualifies for welfare is based on who has primary custody of the child. A father with sole custody of his child, for example, can go after the mother of the child for child support payments.

I have to disagree because child support is the burden of the person not in custody of the kids. If the man had the kids and his old lady didn't pay, she'd go to jail while he collected the check.