caly

I'm glad the situation resolved itself even though it's sad that he choose not to work on your relationship. But you deserve someone much much better than him! Someone who loves you and respects you. Good luck with everything in the future!

Thank you all. I gave him two options: 1. Stay here and go to couple's therapy to work through the issues; or 2. Go back to Cuba. He said problems are meant to be solved between two people and not with a third present, so he chooses to go back to Cuba.
If a man cannot give me one hour of his time a week, he's not going to give me anything. Ticket purchased, he will be gone in the morning. Good riddance.
Now can someone tell me what I need to do to cancel this jerk's visa TOMORROW?

Thank you all. I gave him two options: 1. Stay here and go to couple's therapy to work through the issues; or 2. Go back to Cuba. He said problems are meant to be solved between two people and not with a third present, so he chooses to go back to Cuba.
If a man cannot give me one hour of his time a week, he's not going to give me anything. Ticket purchased, he will be gone in the morning. Good riddance.
Now can someone tell me what I need to do to cancel this jerk's visa TOMORROW?

Incorrect. Same sex marriage is legal in the US, regardless of religion. And the customs of the beneficiary's country do not apply to immigration to the US.
They will be applying for a visa at the US Embassy. The COs must follow the laws of the US and can not discriminate on the basis of religion.

That's.. not correct.
In the visa process same-sex applicants are treated exactly the same as non same-sex applicants.
While they may ask about the customs of the country in the interview, it is very much illegal for any US consulate officer to deny a visa based solely on that.

I've read the whole thread as it has progressed. These early excerpts still stick out:
1. This is abnormal and indicates an inflexibility that will carry over into marriage, if you marry.
2. Obviously, either he doesn't "know himself" or he was feeding you a line.
3. True homesickness = calling/chatting with family. His behavior is abnormal.
4. This is immature, unacceptable behavior in any venue, and it made you cry.
1. In contrast, a genuine relationship/marriage is "the two of us against the world."
2. He's grateful and polite.
3. "He felt"?
4. Now there's a statement of selfless dedication to your status as a couple.
5. He's sensitive, and a compromiser.
6. He values and respectfully regards your intelligence and life experience.
7. There will be no financial disputes during your marriage.
8. He values you over all others.
9. This is the only indication of his machista behavior and attitudes that you'll ever experience.
10. He has no ulterior motives at all, now that he's here.
See above.
1. He has a love of life and the intention of adjusting to a new city and culture.
2. He's a congenial companion during shared activities.
3. Quit "feeling" and start looking objectively. There's zero compatibility and zero intent to become compatible, or even to fake a modicum of compatibility. When I was single, I routinely ended dates abruptly, in their middle, whenever anyone exhibited even one of the above characteristics or actions. I'd just walk right out. Yes, I was snookered because I hadn't done the appropriate homework or had misread the other person, but I was grateful to see such behaviors early, because she was saving me a lot of time. Not once did I regret my leaving without looking back.
After 19 years of bashing my head against such walls, and of sticking to my standards and becoming a hermit rather than sell out to shallowness or abuse, I got my beautiful reward in Mrs. T-B. Still, if she'd exhibited any of the behavior that your "partner in life" has displayed, her shapely hindquarters would have been on the very next flight back to Ecuador.
Review the above qualities that you yourself have described, and ask yourself: "All the handsome, loving, sweet, desirable, available men in the world, and I want to keep throwing time, effort, money, and emotion at this one?"

Yeah, you are being bitter. Have you ever considered there are a bunch of couples who could never be together without a K1? Gay couples where it is impossible to marry abroad and get it recognized? Couples of different religions, who outside the US cannot be married in the beneficiary's home country due to archaic religious laws? Couples, who for whatever reason have to meet up outside the US in third countries just to meet?
Or the more sentimental reason that some of us do not want to get married and live apart and thus go for a K1 accepting the fact that it is twice as expensive and prevents us from getting a Green Card for more than a year in some cases?
Some of us have been doing the long distance relationship for years on end, traveling around the world to meet whenever we could prior to committing to a marriage, some of us may have lived together abroad for years. Are there frauds among K1? Most certainly. But I guarantee you there is a similar number of frauds among the CR-1 bunch as well! Don't you dare imply your relationship is more genuine just because you are married!
We are lucky the US has both K1 and CR-1 visa paths. You are not being punished for falling in love, you simply have the immigration hoops to jump through.
And finally: The approval of the I-129F petition (for K1) vs. the approval of the I-130 (for CR1/IR-1) are the things you have to compare, not the visa process in its entirety. And the Service Centers still process I-130 at least as fast if not faster than I-129Fs. Texas never slowed down I-130 as much as I-129Fs last year. Also, NVC doesn't prioritize I-129Fs, they have no processing to do on them, they simply forward them to the embassy. For K1 the embassy deals with certain steps and the K1 holder has to perform the AOS process after entering the US. This process happens AT NVC for CR-1. Hence, the only real time difference is on entering the US. The benefit of the K1 is that you MAY be with your fiance faster. The drawback is that you have a year's worth of paperwork left in the US and the process is twice as expensive, whereas CR-1s enter as fully fledged LPRs with the right to work and travel. Apples and oranges... But again, there is no prioritization of K1s.

No, they do not need to "come back" before that date. The validity of the "visa" is irrelevant because the "visa" is already invalid. The expiration date of the visa is completely unrelated to the validity of the I-551 which the visa turned into. The I-551 is valid for one year after entry.

Yes. Technically, your "visa" no longer exists -- an immigrant visa is a single-use visa. What happened is that the visa automatically turned into an I-551 (green card) valid for one year. So what you actually have in your hand is a green card valid until September 27, 2016. You can use it for all purposes just like any other green card. Don't call it a "visa" as it will just confuse people.
This is completely wrong.

It took us a year, and we were married folks. It doesn't always make sense, but in our case, everything turned out for the best. We used the time to do the things we needed to do in both places.
Sometimes you need to scream about it and vent, but it WILL be over, and you WILL get past this. Hang in there!

since you are both now currently in USA, he ought to be the one to needs to work on understanding America and American people (which is a complex equation) by the way.
I really think you should rethink your future with him.

I'm sorry to say this, but his behavior is not about being homesick. He is just completely disrespectful to you and you should stop serving him everything on a silver platter and bring him back to earth.

Why can you not just both sit yourselves down and talk about getting a divorce? Talk about how you would do things?

VJ is not your wife, and you can't predict what will happen through VJ. You say you need to protect yourself yada yada, if you've been this insecure your entire marriage then no wonder your marriage is failing.

Just talk to her and have some trust man.. Not that hard really. Maybe if you learn to trust each other you won't end up getting divorced.

She can divorce you as easily as you can divorce her. You can't stop a divorce. My divorce was final in December 1998 but we are still in court fighting over things as of this month.
She can file for divorce and file to ROC with the waiver. If the divorce is not completed by the time she files she can request an extension by showing the filing of the paperwork with the court.
She could also claim VAWA as you are using her immigration status to blackmail her into agreeing to your terms on the divorce.
You cannot stop her ROC and you cannot get out of the I-864.
Stop worrying about her immigration status and get your life together.
And just because she may be in another country she still has the right to contest the division of the property and ask for spousal support. Don't think getting her out of the US will protect you in the divorce. Or if she stays and is not in status nothing will happen in divorce court, immigration isn't going to show up and arrest her, even if they do she can still contest the divorce from jail.

Here's what can happen: she gets close to the 90 days from her conditional GC expiring and will ask you to sign the ROC form. You say no. She gets an immigration lawyer that tells her she needs to divorce you. She divorces you. She gets the waiver. You cannot do anything to stop her. Stop thinking of ways to get her. Even if she is not an LPR, but a foreign citizen, she is still allowed to appear in court for the divorce if she so chooses and make your life a living hell... USC or not, LPR or not.

So basically she came here in good faith and the marriage isnt working out so now you want to punish her??? Really?? Sorry but IMO that is really cold.

Ok great but in the meantime it will behoove u to follow Ebunoluwa's advice to get your case taken care of. Your griping and high horse ride will not magically change immigration laws and processes. Seriously if that worked don't you think we all and the thousands before us would have already done that?
Then you can begin a campaign with congressmen to begin real immigration reform! Maybe start an awareness for change organization.
Best of Luck!

Well riding a high horse wont magically get your loved one over here.
But whatever you chose to do, take the advise offererd on this page or go to the press, i wish you all the best!

Question is, do you want to be right, or do you want to be with your spouse? Unfortunately, they won't bend the rules to suit your interpretation of what the process should be...
(As a side note, and something to keep in mind, when your spouse does move to the USA, your preconceived ideas of what immigrants are and do will be applied to him by others...)

That's loads. Seems good.

Sounds like you were refused because you didn't show strong enough ties to home country. Unless you add in more evidence you most likely may be refused again.
Consider collecting more proof of your return...maybe a letter from ur employer if you have worked there a long time, etc. you need a stronger case.
Best of luck.

Hi,
Your husband has a green card, so your financial situation no longer matters.
For the ROC, your income does not matter. There is no financial requirements for the ROC.

As much as you need assurances, so does he. Don't shut him out. This is the time to embrace as a couple and approach the problem together. If you love him, you will forgive him for making a mistake. He needs you as much as you need him. You guys can do this. It's just going to take some more work to get it done.

No one want something like this to happen after going through the process and almost in the end, encounter this road block. The two of you need to discuss your options, talk to your fiance what advises you got here and ask him what he want to pursue. There is no fast route for your I-129F for now, you need to clear all previous filings. It will take time before you will hear anything form USCIS.
Get married and file for spousal visa. This I am sure will work.
Don't be scared, if your relationship is genuine you two can overcome this.

HEAR HEAR dwheels76!!! HEAR HEAR!!!!!!!
Ignore the judgments and FOCUS on the issue at hand. The bottom line is they didn't believe what was presented to them. This is where the REALLLLLLL fight begins.
When my now husband & I first got on VJ, he asked a question about our "red flags" and "How should I answer this question?" (we had many and very serious ones). VJ members POUNCED on him and told him it sounded like he was a fraud, etc. etc. etc. We were pretty new on the the site too and were literally just beginning our process and really didn't have much of a clue as to what to expect. After he posed the question I remember thinking... "WOW... These folks are HECKA harsh!"
We decided to take the constructive in the thread (whether good or bad). We also realized that people do NOT know your heart or what is going on in your life.. and to be frank and honest.. these CO's do not really care. Their job is to recognize fraud. Also, because they're human and see people breaking the law often, it can be very subjective.
As dwheels76 has basically said, and what I would add.. is cry now and put your knowledge armor on tomorrow. It's time to get to work. If you and your husband really want you to come here.... then it's going to be a fight... and you have to be ready for the long grueling hall that is going to come. Hopefully when they see you and your husband (and family) and MEAN what you say and you have evidence and conviction to prove it, I pray it will all work out for you.
My biggest advice is BE READY FOR ANYTHING. I know that sounds very ambiguous and I'm sorry, but be ready for anything.
Sending GOOD VIBES AND BEST WISHES for you and your family.... Good luck and keep your head up!!!!