Moving out sooner!

[rejane 1]

Well good decision on your part...

I think it was a smart choice you made....

Good luck

[Jasman0717 8]

Thanks for sharing

[gimygirl 0]

i would highly advise that you take emily up on her generous offer to stay there for the week.

take any and all that is important to the both of you OUT of her house. as for your GC, i would put in a change of address to the new house and hope for the best.

i wish you and ben the best of luck ... i wish in a 3 way relationship before (husband plus mother) and it wasn't pretty. feel free to pm me at any time, i'm sure we could compare notes!!

[PsychoKat 0]

So far as your GC is concerned I was thinking along the lines that gimygirl mentioned. You can change your address with the post office and they should then forward anything addressed with your name on it to the new address. Then later inform INS when you have your green card.

So far as what you have been going through I so incredibly sorry you've had to deal with that I'm also so glad your husband found the strength to stand up for himself. I myself have lived with abuse, although spousal not MIL and once I had the courage to talk about it and stand up for myself it was incredibly freeing. My thoughts are with you through this.

It sounds like staying at EM's might be the way to go since it's an option. Definately DO NOT go back. Although over time things might calm down a bit, right now I would think things are likely to be quite volitile and possibly dangerous (considering what she did to your kitten...which btw made every part of me cringe to think of )

I noted your mention of down the road with children and visitation, it's good that you are thinking in advance. Time and distance might have enough impact to change her at least enough to be able to enjoy your future children. Violent abusive people are not always destined to remain that way forever. Although I would never be able to trust my X enough to live in the same house as he does because of ingrained memories, he did attend counciling for this, and he has never harmed our daughter. For her sake over time we have learned to leave the past, and the anger and hurt that went with it, behind and might even be considered friends.

[meddykomp 0]

Jay,

I am so glad you left there but you already knew I would think this way. I agree that you and Ben should stay with Em. You two do not need additional abuse and the loss of water and bathroom use is unsanitary at best.

I wish both of you luck in your new home.

Angel

[ktun 0]

OMG JayJay, that's just terrible!!! I mean I knew she was vindictive when she decided she wasnt going to drive you to your interview, but didn't realise she was abusive like that!!! She makes my mother-in-law look almost reasonable! You're better off well away from there. Stay at your friend's place and if you or Ben need to get anything from the house make sure you have someone else go over with you.

I would probably have called the police if my MIL hit my cat that hard. If she does do anything to your GC then call the police. Seriously, I'm sure that must be illegal to destroy someone's property like that, or even if she tries to withold it from you. I'm sure that neither of you would want to do that, but you might have to unfortunately.

Regarding future children, definately dont let her alone with them. If Craig and I ever manage to have a baby my MIL is certainly not going to be left alone with him or her. She is not physically abusive, but is passive aggressive and does not have a single good thing to say about her son so I wouldnt want them to hear that anyway.

Good luck to you and so pleased you get to have your house next week

Best wishes

Kate & Craig

[Dixie_Peach 1]

JayJay... I am sooooo sorry that you have had to live in such an abusive home since you and Ben got married. His mom definitely has som mental and emotional issues that you nor Ben can fix.

my thoughts to you is to document everything... and give a report to the police.... that way, if anything happens to your greencard, or any other legal papers... she could be held accountable ... because that is a felony charge! I am soooooooooo praying for you and Ben... I would not care if I had to sleep on the floor with no lights - I would not stay in that house one more minute. Talk again with your friend Em... confirm that it is okay to stay for one week until your move into YOUR OWN HOME... my very best to you and Ben... and to that precious little kitty...

serves the MIL from Hell right to break her finger... shoulda broke her whole dang hand... and have it rot off and fall off for such uncalled for treatment of a defenseless animal.

*hugs*

Lynne

[Jaylen Brit 0]

From LenJay-

Some things that go through the mail can not be forwarded... INS documents and cards COULD be one of them. But you could go to the post office and have all your mail held for X amount of days... and then go there and pick it up. It's one way to get around that part.

Also, if she does take the GC and do something to it, if you can prove it, that's a federal offense messing with someone's mail.

[sparkofcreation 0]

Just want to add you should put in a change of address with the Post Office right away, maybe they'll forward your GC without it ever reaching the MIL's house.

Edit: The having-the-post-office-hold-your-mail idea is even better.

Glad you're getting out of there!

Edited April 9, 2006 by sparkofcreation

[RaspberrySwirl 20]

From LenJay-

Some things that go through the mail can not be forwarded... INS documents and cards COULD be one of them. But you could go to the post office and have all your mail held for X amount of days... and then go there and pick it up. It's one way to get around that part.

Also, if she does take the GC and do something to it, if you can prove it, that's a federal offense messing with someone's mail.

Good advice!

Jay, I'm so glad you're outta that place. Wishing you the best!

[JayJay 4]

Ta - you're all the best! (F) Right now, we're packing, but we did have a nice evening last night watching "Die Hard" and eating bacon cheeseburgers from the local bar/thingy. I'll go over to Em's in a bit, pick up a couple of things she's got me from town..she's helping with the move.

Then I can plan on the weekend of the 29th over a cuppa - there's an art show going on, and since we're moving early, I might be able to get a booth...oooH!

[doodlebugfor_u 0]

I thought my ex MIL was a monster! Yours just might have mine beat. Best wishes to you and your husband on your new home. Now you can finally start your lives together ALONE as husband and wife.

[Ladylethal 12]

That was the best decision you could have made. Good luck!

[MHandMB 0]

Congrats on moving out and getting out of there before things got even worse. It's really great that your husband was able to stand up to his mother and that he's getting out of that abusive situation which was hurting all of you (and by all, I mean the kitty, too). It couldn't have been easy for him, and I'm sure he's greatful he has such great support from you.

I hope y'all are really happy in your new place and that you'll be able to appreciate it so much more in light of all you've been through.

Good luck, and congrats on the new place!!

[CarolineM 0]

I'm so glad you and Ben have eachother! You guys have really come so far - job, house, moving out :) I'm so sorry you had to go through that - but YES stay at Em's - then move on!

Thinking of you both! (And Your little Kitty!)