Living in Hell. What are my options!!

[ozziekan101 0]

Thanks for all the response and advice.

So far we still stayed together and thought things were fine..

During our wedding annivesary,the fighting started again...All boiling down from selfishness...

Cant go much into detail but now she wants out again..

Its a schizophenic pattern...One moment she's happy and talking about kids and buying a house, the next she's unhappy and wants a divorce...

My mum came visiting from england and even though isnt staying with us, she's insecure about her presence her..even claiming my mother has come to spoil the marriage and still the attention i'm supposed to be giving her.

My mum had an emergency and has had to be hospitalized whilst visiting... I've asked if my mum can move in with us upon her discharge so i can cater for her till she's well but she's refused..

So i may have to rent somewhere else to keep my mum and then have to care for her there as she had a mini stroke.

Its a difficult time but she's too selfish to see past herslf now and is requesting a divorce cos i'm always at the hospital..

I think i'm done... whatever situation happens..i dont know... Need advice..i'm thinkin its time to actually get separated..

[LoriLawless 0]

So sorry you're going through all of this.

[Ta Ta 1]

So sorry for what you are going through !

You have gotten some good advice here on how to proof the abuse and I think you will be ok documenting your situation carefully.

[SimoFati 0]

My mum came visiting from england and even though isnt staying with us, she's insecure about her presence her..even claiming my mother has come to spoil the marriage and still the attention i'm supposed to be giving her.

My mum had an emergency and has had to be hospitalized whilst visiting... I've asked if my mum can move in with us upon her discharge so i can cater for her till she's well but she's refused..

So i may have to rent somewhere else to keep my mum and then have to care for her there as she had a mini stroke.

Its a difficult time but she's too selfish to see past herslf now and is requesting a divorce cos i'm always at the hospital..

I think i'm done... whatever situation happens..i dont know... Need advice..i'm thinkin its time to actually get separated..

lessen to me and lessen good....\you have one mum you can never have another.from what you are saying you married

a horrible person.

run and run fast while you can.

I can t believe it, where does she want your mom to stay when she is sick ??? if she doesnt show her love to you thru caring for your mom, you are better of with someone else..

best of luck

[ozziekan101 0]

I totally agree... There have been new developments. While i was waiting for my mom to be discharged last nite, She started calling my phone but i was upset and didnt pick up as i didnt want to get into another arguement.

She eventually sent text messages saying she was going to throw my things out of the apt. I responded that i will get the authorities involved if she did so.She further went on threatening to annul the marriage of over a year and get me deported.

I told her to do what suits her but not to throw my things out.

She had done it on one occassion where she packed up all my things and brought them to me in the office while at work.

So i knew she wasnt threatening... I decided to go home and as expected all my things were in trash bags ready to be dumped..She asked me to move out but i told her my name's on the lease of the apt and will only move when its condusive.

Her father then came to the apt and got involved.. Since i was driving a car registered in her name [even though i was paying the note on the car], he requested the car keys and when i hesitated, he tried to intimidate me by threatening to punch me.. So i gave in, and she packed some of her things and left with him... She said its over and she was going to start working at seeing me deported..

I asked them only 1 question, and i said, 'so is it cos my mom is in the hospital and i've spent the last 2 days looking after her there that youguys are doing this'?.. They said i was being manipulative by insinuating that...

Its miserable going thru this but i think i'm about to just count my losses and move on with life...

Whatever happens, i'm gonna accept my fate... but i think for my sanity and the life of loved ones... i gotta move on.

[bradcanuck 1]

GOOD FOR YOU. I wish you the best, you sound genuinely tired and worn and battered. It's time to move on. Your health and the health of your family comes FIRST above all.

[una 0]

I totally agree... There have been new developments. While i was waiting for my mom to be discharged last nite, She started calling my phone but i was upset and didnt pick up as i didnt want to get into another arguement.

She eventually sent text messages saying she was going to throw my things out of the apt. I responded that i will get the authorities involved if she did so.She further went on threatening to annul the marriage of over a year and get me deported.

I told her to do what suits her but not to throw my things out.

She had done it on one occassion where she packed up all my things and brought them to me in the office while at work.

So i knew she wasnt threatening... I decided to go home and as expected all my things were in trash bags ready to be dumped..She asked me to move out but i told her my name's on the lease of the apt and will only move when its condusive.

Her father then came to the apt and got involved.. Since i was driving a car registered in her name [even though i was paying the note on the car], he requested the car keys and when i hesitated, he tried to intimidate me by threatening to punch me.. So i gave in, and she packed some of her things and left with him... She said its over and she was going to start working at seeing me deported..

I asked them only 1 question, and i said, 'so is it cos my mom is in the hospital and i've spent the last 2 days looking after her there that youguys are doing this'?.. They said i was being manipulative by insinuating that...

Its miserable going thru this but i think i'm about to just count my losses and move on with life...

Whatever happens, i'm gonna accept my fate... but i think for my sanity and the life of loved ones... i gotta move on.

pff what a Psycho she is....man if i was u screw everything...even if the worse thing happen I don't think it will be worse than what are you experiencing now..... live her cuz her presence will make you crazier than she is lol

[archie07 0]

Wow, talk about moral support. I hope your mother is feeling better.

[doodlebug 3]

Why don't you just move back home with your mom? That way you can take care of her and you'll be away from this woman. Is there a reason you want to stay in the US? I'm not familiar with Scotland but if what everyone's saying is true about the free healthcare seems like you have it better off over there.

[SusieK 3]

Why don't you just move back home with your mom? That way you can take care of her and you'll be away from this woman. Is there a reason you want to stay in the US? I'm not familiar with Scotland but if what everyone's saying is true about the free healthcare seems like you have it better off over there.

Feel for ya mate, yes there are two sides to a story and then there is the third side that makes it come together , but make sure you get those reports from the police on the abuse. When filing domestic violence charges against another, sometimes people dont want to go this route if not familiar with the laws of the USA. Give the guy a break for hes got enough shyte on his plate and yes shes bonkers mate from what you are writing.

Go on with your life, let her threaten all she wants and call daddy, oh wow, luved that one and yes big thing on mum. If she could not accept mum being at home while getting better, theres a big split personality persona going on here. RUN FAST !!!!!

Hope it works out for ya whichever step you take.

Cheers

Susie

[zqt3344 21]

Cannot adjust on your own. Have to be married, better get a good lawyer that knows immigration law and even then it is 50-50% you get it to stay, with a waiver. Sounds like you married a psycho American woman, which does not surprise me in the least for they are everywhere in the USA now. Also based on all these great wonderful benefits and gifts you all get from the UK why not just go back home and live there, for it sounds like you are so disadvantaged to be living in the USA compared to the UK, it would appear that you should not even consider staying in the USA at all.

It feels really good to have once again found the forum thats been helpful to me in the past when i was relocating from Scotland about a year ago..

It's only sad that this time around i'm not hear to discuss anything of joy,like,'HEY, I GOT MY K-1 VISA!!' etc..

I'm rather coming here to seek help after about over a year of mental torture, stress and lack of peace of mind..

I moved here from scotland last year after my spouse filed a k-1 visa. Everything was fine back then and our love life was second to none..even though we were having a long distance relationship as she was here and i was back home in scotland.

After i moved here and got married, we moved in together and ever since then i havent had one full week without a major fight, arguement or misunderstanding..

We have been to 2 marriage counsellors and 1 financial counsellor. We even been to marriage group sessions.

We seem to have lots of expectations from each other considering we're both from different cultures.

We havent been able to agree on any major thing as the other person is still pushing for personal agenda.

The fights have gotten worse and she's getting physical.. the police have been involved on a couple of occassions and i refused to press charges on both occasions.

A lot has gone on but now, its looking like the best option is to go our seperate ways...She already has told me she's moving out b4 the weekend.

I'm tired of begging her to stay and i feel like i'm just gonna cave into her threats..

Now, the main concern is what my options are concerning my status here...I already got the condtional GC in january and have 2 years to go.

Sought legal advice and i was told i could file an i-751 but i dont know the success rate of that if i was to file alone on grounds on entered marriage in good faith but it didnt work.. I know i could go on the grounds of abuse and mental torture but i unfortunately didnt press any charges when i could so i have no proof of that..Not even proof of the time, she put all my property in trash bags and brought them to me at work or the time she destroyed all she ever bought for me even up till toothbrush,birthday cards, joint vision board plans etc..she shredded it all..

I'm scared for my life and sanity. My family is worried she may hurt me but i dont wanna lose my status here but it feels like i'm caught in between fire and the deep blue sea..

I NEED HELP, ADVICE !! I need protection. My career and every other thing is going just fine but its a living hell at home.

What are my options and where do i go from here...My conditonal GC expires in january '09 but whether i'd still be able to cope with my spouse till then is a major doubt only by divine intervention

[LaL 418]

Cannot adjust on your own. Have to be married, better get a good lawyer that knows immigration law and even then it is 50-50% you get it to stay, with a waiver. Sounds like you married a psycho American woman, which does not surprise me in the least for they are everywhere in the USA now. Also based on all these great wonderful benefits and gifts you all get from the UK why not just go back home and live there, for it sounds like you are so disadvantaged to be living in the USA compared to the UK, it would appear that you should not even consider staying in the USA at all.

One absolutely can adjust "on their own" given circumstances. Please note - the OP already has their conditional perm residence and will only need to lift conditions should they choose to stay (which is what the OP is asking for - help with how to stay).

If there is enough bona fide evidence that the marriage was entered into legitimately, there should be no problems although the suggestion to seek competent counsel is wise.

The suggestion that psycho women are "everywhere in the US now" really isn't helpful and is a ridiculous statement.

[zqt3344 21]

Well well well well thank you LAL! You have experience dating American women?

Cannot adjust on your own. Have to be married, better get a good lawyer that knows immigration law and even then it is 50-50% you get it to stay, with a waiver. Sounds like you married a psycho American woman, which does not surprise me in the least for they are everywhere in the USA now. Also based on all these great wonderful benefits and gifts you all get from the UK why not just go back home and live there, for it sounds like you are so disadvantaged to be living in the USA compared to the UK, it would appear that you should not even consider staying in the USA at all.

One absolutely can adjust "on their own" given circumstances. Please note - the OP already has their conditional perm residence and will only need to lift conditions should they choose to stay (which is what the OP is asking for - help with how to stay).

If there is enough bona fide evidence that the marriage was entered into legitimately, there should be no problems although the suggestion to seek competent counsel is wise.

The suggestion that psycho women are "everywhere in the US now" really isn't helpful and is a ridiculous statement.

[Ban Hammer 12,866]

Well well well well thank you LAL! You have experience dating American women?

i don't suggest you continue on that track. she is a moderator.

[LaL 418]

Well well well well thank you LAL! You have experience dating American women?

i don't suggest you continue on that track. she is a moderator.

Even better to suggest not going on this path because it is devoid of subject matter in this thread and utterly ridiculous.