My US spouse threw me out of our house.

[TBoneTX 43,413]

I think that both of you fellows will take a hit, but you'll end up being fine.  "That which does not kill us makes us stronger."  Repeat that to yourselves, and it will help.

[Onuoa 24]

31 minutes ago, TBoneTX said:

I think that both of you fellows will take a hit, but you'll end up being fine.  "That which does not kill us makes us stronger."  Repeat that to yourselves, and it will help.

Thanks and I appreciate the words of encouragement.

[Kanja 201]

Sorry to hear all of this and sorry about your mother. Honestly, police behavior and helpfulness can definitely depend on the political views of the state you are in (which of course influence laws). Living in the north I have never ever heard of needing a warrant to make an arrest when it is clear a crime such as destruction of property has happened. Furthermore, most states do not allow a spouse to kick another spouse out so I’m surprised they weren’t able to help you back in BUT at the very least as others have mentioned they should have at least been able to help you get your things. 
 

I pray  situation gets better however, one thing to mention, if she tries to make amends and invites you back in the house be VERY careful. This is part of the cycle of abuse, it might seem to make sense to return to the home but if you do please start making a game plan.
1. Even if the police didn’t get your things right away they should still be able to give you a copy of the report which you should keep for evidence.

2. If you do get access to your documents, take a picture and save it on the cloud, give the documents  to a close friend or colleague for safekeeping if you don’t have a private place to store them outside of the home.

3. Open a separate bank account that she does not have access to, and start saving to rent your own place. If you are not working , start working now. Change or cancel any direct deposits that go into an account she has access to. 
4. if possible, avoid phone calls and communicate through text or WhatsApp voicenotes for evidence down the line. I know you mentioned you don’t have a phone but if you are able to get some cash you can get a fairly affordable prepaid phone. 
 

I am sorry for the loss of your mom. 

Edited February 19, 2023 by Kanja

[Onuoa 24]

On 2/19/2023 at 2:15 AM, Kanja said:

Sorry to hear all of this and sorry about your mother. Honestly, police behavior and helpfulness can definitely depend on the political views of the state you are in (which of course influence laws). Living in the north I have never ever heard of needing a warrant to make an arrest when it is clear a crime such as destruction of property has happened. Furthermore, most states do not allow a spouse to kick another spouse out so I’m surprised they weren’t able to help you back in BUT at the very least as others have mentioned they should have at least been able to help you get your things. 
 

I pray  situation gets better however, one thing to mention, if she tries to make amends and invites you back in the house be VERY careful. This is part of the cycle of abuse, it might seem to make sense to return to the home but if you do please start making a game plan.
1. Even if the police didn’t get your things right away they should still be able to give you a copy of the report which you should keep for evidence.

2. If you do get access to your documents, take a picture and save it on the cloud, give the documents  to a close friend or colleague for safekeeping if you don’t have a private place to store them outside of the home.

3. Open a separate bank account that she does not have access to, and start saving to rent your own place. If you are not working , start working now. Change or cancel any direct deposits that go into an account she has access to. 
4. if possible, avoid phone calls and communicate through text or WhatsApp voicenotes for evidence down the line. I know you mentioned you don’t have a phone but if you are able to get some cash you can get a fairly affordable prepaid phone. 
 

I am sorry for the loss of your mom. 

Thanks very much..I appreciate the advice.

[TBoneTX 43,413]

Please keep us closely apprised of your progress.

[Onuoa 24]

4 hours ago, TBoneTX said:

Please keep us closely apprised of your progress.

I will definitely do that ,I am going back to police today.

[Onuoa 24]

I went back to Bessemer police today to get a copy of the report  and police officers accompanied me back to to the place but she still denied me entry to pick my things,claiming that I never lived there,unfortunately, I had no copy of mails to  prove that because everything that would have been a proof is inside the house.Right now the case has been assigned to a detective who will be in the position to charge her for felony.

please,I really need to know  steps to take for new documents like permanent resident card,social security etc.and if I90 receipt will be enough to be used to get a job.That is,in any event, I fail to retrieve my docs from her.

Note**She is in the process of leaving the state of Alabama for somewhere else.

[Kanja 201]

7 minutes ago, Onuoa said:

I went back to Bessemer police today to get a copy of the report  and police officers accompanied me back to to the place but she still denied me entry to pick my things,claiming that I never lived there,unfortunately, I had no copy of mails to  prove that because everything that would have been a proof is inside the house.Right now the case has been assigned to a detective who will be in the position to charge her for felony.

please,I really need to know  steps to take for new documents like permanent resident card,social security etc.and if I90 receipt will be enough to be used to get a job.That is,in any event, I fail to retrieve my docs from her.

Note**She is in the process of leaving the state of Alabama for somewhere else.

I’m so sorry to hear this. Is there no neighbor or anyone that can vouch? What about heading to your phone company or bank to ask them to print you out verification of address , I know you don’t have ID but if you have police report and PIN number the bank should be able to help. You may have to be call before you go. Keep pushing, even if you can login to one of your utility companies you all utilize you  can print a bill that has address . Can you login to USCIS website and print something? Any emails? Search your mailing address in your email, you may have forgotten you used your mailing address  to order something or sign up for something  . Don’t give up. is it an apartment/rental  or house? If apartment, go to leasing office, speak to landlord, anything. 
I understand at this point she may have destroyed some of your property but whatever you can salvage at this point would be good. 
 

if worse comes to worse do you have any family or friends in a different state? If you are not wedded to Alabama you may want to head where you have more support. 

I’ll let others chime in about replacing the documents. 
 

 

[Onuoa 24]

1 hour ago, Kanja said:

I’m so sorry to hear this. Is there no neighbor or anyone that can vouch? What about heading to your phone company or bank to ask them to print you out verification of address , I know you don’t have ID but if you have police report and PIN number the bank should be able to help. You may have to be call before you go. Keep pushing, even if you can login to one of your utility companies you all utilize you  can print a bill that has address . Can you login to USCIS website and print something? Any emails? Search your mailing address in your email, you may have forgotten you used your mailing address  to order something or sign up for something  . Don’t give up. is it an apartment/rental  or house? If apartment, go to leasing office, speak to landlord, anything. 
I understand at this point she may have destroyed some of your property but whatever you can salvage at this point would be good. 
 

if worse comes to worse do you have any family or friends in a different state? If you are not wedded to Alabama you may want to head where you have more support. 

I’ll let others chime in about replacing the documents. 
 

 

Thanks,I am doing my best to get a prove of residency.I am also trying to explore other options available. I will keep pushing, it’s frustrating,though.

Edited February 21, 2023 by Onuoa

[Kanja 201]

25 minutes ago, Onuoa said:

Thanks,I am doing my best to get a prove of residency.I am also trying to explore other options available. I will keep pushing, it’s frustrating,though.

Feel free to

message me. I don’t live in Alabama but we can exchange ideas. 

[TBoneTX 43,413]

5 hours ago, Onuoa said:

I am also trying to explore other options available. I will keep pushing

Your persistence and your faith in yourself are admirable.

[Onuoa 24]

2 hours ago, TBoneTX said:

Your persistence and your faith in yourself are admirable.

Please,do you if copies of my IR1 visa stamp and  i90 receipt enough to get a job while  I await the permanent resident card replacement which I guess will take 8 months to a year.

Thanks..

[TBoneTX 43,413]

The IR-1 stamp serves as a temporary green card before your actual GC arrives, so it should suit for job-hunting purposes.

[Onuoa 24]

4 hours ago, TBoneTX said:

The IR-1 stamp serves as a temporary green card before your actual GC arrives, so it should suit for job-hunting purposes.

Thanks for the timely response but you need to know that when I said copies,I mean an electronically  saved copy of my visa which I was able to retrieve from my mail .

Edited February 22, 2023 by Onuoa

[TBoneTX 43,413]

7 hours ago, Onuoa said:

I mean an electronically saved copy of my visa

Apologies.  As for a copy, it would really depend.  Employers might request the original immediately, or (at best, I think) accept the copy temporarily but request the original within a certain timeframe.  This element is pretty important for them.

 

You can try using a copy, and explain the situation.