Mother keeping child ?

[Redcon1 0]

What to do if the mother of my child is keeping my child from coming to the United States? My child was born in the Philippines but acquired U.S Citizenship shortly after birth through me. She is now 8 years old and is currently there with the mother.

[dentsflogged 352]

There's not a lot you CAN do, as far as I'm aware.

You can obtain a lawyer who is well versed in both US and Phillipines law (especially when it comes to custody) and see if there's a way of petitioning for joint custody - then there is the question of if that court can and indeed WILL legally force the mother to allow the child to leave the country - this question has been asked multiple ways on this forum but so far to my knowledge we haven't had anyone come back with a success story of a foreign court forcing one of their citizens to permit foreign travel and/or relocation against the wishes of the current primary custodian/caregiver.

That said, what's the point of it? Are you planning on keeping the child in the USA - in that case, when does the mother get to see her child?  Or is the idea that your child will visit on school vacation, etc?

Personally I would try mediation before involving lawyers - it gets expensive and ugly very quickly when going "nuclear" as the first option. 

[Redcon1 0]

3 minutes ago, dentsflogged said:

There's not a lot you CAN do, as far as I'm aware.

You can obtain a lawyer who is well versed in both US and Phillipines law (especially when it comes to custody) and see if there's a way of petitioning for joint custody - then there is the question of if that court can and indeed WILL legally force the mother to allow the child to leave the country - this question has been asked multiple ways on this forum but so far to my knowledge we haven't had anyone come back with a success story of a foreign court forcing one of their citizens to permit foreign travel and/or relocation against the wishes of the current primary custodian/caregiver.

That said, what's the point of it? Are you planning on keeping the child in the USA - in that case, when does the mother get to see her child?  Or is the idea that your child will visit on school vacation, etc?

Personally I would try mediation before involving lawyers - it gets expensive and ugly very quickly when going "nuclear" as the first option. 

Well the plan was to have the child stay with me in the U.S due to the plain fact that the health care, benefits and overall quality of life for my child is better here. I would then bring my child once a year or so to visit the mother for a period of time. However the mother seems to act like the child is solely hers. At the current situation, she is always asking for financial aid due to the child always becoming sick and she does not even work a stable job.

[ishatu 45]

9 minutes ago, Redcon1 said:

Well the plan was to have the child stay with me in the U.S due to the plain fact that the health care, benefits and overall quality of life for my child is better here. I would then bring my child once a year or so to visit the mother for a period of time. However the mother seems to act like the child is solely hers. At the current situation, she is always asking for financial aid due to the child always becoming sick and she does not even work a stable job.

Why not do the right thing (Marry her) and then bring them both to the US for a better life.

[Redcon1 0]

Just now, ishatu said:

Why not do the right thing (Marry her) and then bring them both to the US for a better life.

Because she cheated and had another baby by another man while i was away. That relationship has been long gone since 6 years ago. Only keep in touch due to my child with her.

[Pinkrlion 2,607]

Take her to court and obtain full custody.

[ishatu 45]

2 hours ago, Redcon1 said:

Because she cheated and had another baby by another man while i was away. That relationship has been long gone since 6 years ago. Only keep in touch due to my child with her.

Oh ok sorry, now that understandable. But i think she knows that if she ever sends her child here to the US that she never see her again. No mother would put that much trust into a man that she is no longer with.

Edited January 19, 2020 by ishatu

[RO_AH 1,615]

I don't want to rain on your parade but I think it would be next to impossible to take any kind of legal action that would force her to send the child here. Philippines tend to always side with the mother and the fact that you are a foreigner living in another country would make it even more difficult.

[Redcon1 0]

1 hour ago, RO_AH said:

I don't want to rain on your parade but I think it would be next to impossible to take any kind of legal action that would force her to send the child here. Philippines tend to always side with the mother and the fact that you are a foreigner living in another country would make it even more difficult.

Looks like court would be the only way from the responses i am seeing so far, i understand there is no legal way of forcing her however nonetheless she still is a U.S citizen even if she was born there and one can easily argue in court and provide the proof of the mother not being able to financially provide for the child even in times of illness. 

[Hank_ 9,173]

10 hours ago, Redcon1 said:

What to do if the mother of my child is keeping my child from coming to the United States? My child was born in the Philippines but acquired U.S Citizenship shortly after birth through me. She is now 8 years old and is currently there with the mother.

 

Not married.  You are SOL (almost), the mother has sole custody of the child, it is the law.   

 

I seem to recall reading that after the age of 7 the father can petition the court for custody, but the "tilt" of the court would be toward the mother, it would have to be proven she is an unfit mother for you to obtain custody.  << for this talk to an attorney in the Phils ... and have proof the mother is UNFIT.

 

 

Article 176 of Executive Order No. 209, otherwise known as the Family Code of the Philippines, is hereby amended to read as follows: "Article 176. Illegitimate children shall use the surname and shall be under the parental authority of their mother, and shall be entitled to support in conformity with this Code

[Canerican 242]

2 minutes ago, Hank_ said:

 

Not married.  You are SOL (almost), the mother has sole custody of the child, it is the law.   

 

I seem to recall reading that after the age of 7 the father can petition the court for custody, but the "tilt" of the court would be toward the mother, it would have to be proven she is an unfit mother for you to obtain custody.  << for this talk to an attorney in the Phils ... and have proof the mother is UNFIT.

 

 

Article 176 of Executive Order No. 209, otherwise known as the Family Code of the Philippines, is hereby amended to read as follows: "Article 176. Illegitimate children shall use the surname and shall be under the parental authority of their mother, and shall be entitled to support in conformity with this Code

@Redcon1, what was posted by Hank shows me that even if you did take this to court that you would be ordered to pay support. If the mother will not allow the child to visit/move to the USA and sign an agreement then the child will never be coming to the USA. 

[Hank_ 9,173]

1 minute ago, CDN(ON)-USA(VT) said:

@Redcon1, what was posted by Hank shows me that even if you did take this to court that you would be ordered to pay support. If the mother will not allow the child to visit/move to the USA and sign an agreement then the child will never be coming to the USA. 

 

The court may be able to order child support, but not being in the Phils it would be hard to enforce.    -- just saying.    Besides, I would bet he is already taking care of the child

[dentsflogged 352]

6 hours ago, Redcon1 said:

Looks like court would be the only way from the responses i am seeing so far, i understand there is no legal way of forcing her however nonetheless she still is a U.S citizen even if she was born there and one can easily argue in court and provide the proof of the mother not being able to financially provide for the child even in times of illness. 

You child is a US citizen, that's true. She's also a citizen of the Philippines.

 

You can take the mother to court in the US all you like - they cannot enforce their own rulings within the country, let alone outside it.

Feel free to take yourself to the Philippines and try to get custody there; however being the custodian doesn't automatically give you the legal right to remove the child from a country, so you may just find yourself with custody of a child and no ability to leave the country.  That's IF you win FULL custody, rather than just partial custody - other posters have pointed out that you'll have an uphill battle and need to show extensive evidence that her mother is an unfit parent - just asking you for money to help raise your daughter and keep her healthy does not make her an unfit mother - if anything it proves she cares enough to ensure her health and continued wellbeing.   
 

[Hank_ 9,173]

Just a side note regarding dual citizenship.   Unless the child were to exit and then enter the Philippines again using a U.S. passport she is considered a Philippine citizen.  

[Redcon1 0]

1 hour ago, Hank_ said:

Just a side note regarding dual citizenship.   Unless the child were to exit and then enter the Philippines again using a U.S. passport she is considered a Philippine citizen.  

If she leaves and then exits using a U.S passport in what way does that effect the situation ?