Step child parent not wanting child to go to US

[jeanita68 231]

9 hours ago, MJMH said:

It does not matter. You take her to court for custody. If she does not respond, then he should be awarded full custody. Just make sure she has not left an authorization for the grandma to care for the child in her absence. He has rights as well. Is he on the child's birth certificate? That helps a lot, many men are not, especially if the couple was not married.

If he is granted full custody, then he will be able to bring her to the USA. Also, I know in many Latin American countries they have started to take into account what the child wants. So make sure you have a forensic psychologist (one that works for the DR justice system) do a full psych report on her, how she relstes to her mother, to her dad, grandmother, etc. The fact that the mom has not even visited in the oast two years could also count against her. While it is not uncommon for women to leave their kids to their mom while they go to "work" in other countries, it could also count as abandonment.  You'll know more when you speak to the attorney. Also, see if in the DR they have public defenders for children. I know in my country, Paraguay, they do, and they were an awesome help to me when I was going through a divorce and fighting for child support and alimony. Use all the means available to you.

He is on her birth certificate, and they have never been married. Thank you for the advice this really helps a lot. 

[jeanita68 231]

9 hours ago, dentsflogged said:

The father that she... doesn't live with? 

And given the example you posted can you blame her for not wanting a repeat of it? 

 

 

 

My husbands daughter mother, had another child before she met my husband. And she abandoned that child as well so the father of that child also migrated to the US and took his child because the mother was “living her life”as they say. Now here we are in the same situation and she doesn’t want us to take my step daughter. She did sign for her other child to go.

8 hours ago, Diane and Chris said:

Looks like daddy has some tough choices to make. Perhaps you could relocate to DR?  

It’s an option. 

[jeanita68 231]

2 hours ago, fip & jim said:

This is not true. Custody does not give a person the right to remove a child from one jurisdiction to another. Dominican Republic is a Hague Convention country. This treaty ensures that children that are internationally abducted by a parent are returned to their country as quickly as possible.

 

You need a specific court order to remove a child from one jurisdiction to another. I did this for my child. I did it before we filed our immigration petition. I represented myself in court and made a comprehensive proposal detailing how immigrating was in the best interests of my child. I detailed how I would ensure my child could continue relationships with people from the home country. This is the only way you can obtain a visa for a child that is a citizen of a Hague Convention country. The first thing they ask you at the consulate interview for the visa is if you have permission to permanently remove the child from the country and they want the original paperwork (court order or signed permission from the other parent) to prove it. 

 

If the mother won't give permission then you will need to get a court order. Personally, I wouldn't be content with only a signed permission as people can and do change their mind. If you apply for a court order they usually insist that all parties attend mediation to resolve any issues before appearing in court and finalizing either permission or denial. If the mother won't attend then a decision will be made in her absence. Given that the grandmother is caring for the child too then that will need to be resolved. There's been a lack of planning here. There's been a lack of research about the process and the requirements. The alternatives haven't been thought through. It's not enough to hope for the best where children are involved. The child needs to maintain relationships with the people that are currently in her life. Immigration is tough. Assimilating in to another culture is tough. The laws are there to protect children. People often mistake parental responsibility for parental rights. The child has rights, the parent has responsibility. A judge will look at facts about who has behaved responsibly and make a judgement (based on the factual evidence presented) on what is in the best interests of the child. 

 

I would offer mediation (with a qualified mediator) to see what can be resolved. If the grandmother is elderly then that needs consideration too (what if she got sick or died in the current situation?). Detail, in minute detail, your proposal (e.g. I offered my child's other parent pay less child support so there was funds for visitation. I detailed exactly how much plane tickets to and from the US are, etc.). In my opinion this situation needs sorting out regardless of immigration. Informal agreements often leave children vulnerable if something goes wrong. Once your husband has left the Dominican Republic and has become a permanent resident of the US it will be even more difficult to negotiate an arrangement for his child. This needs sorting ASAP. Leaving this until 8 days before he is planning to leave does not bode well for proving responsibility and forward planning if he wishes to bring her to the US. 

 

 

 

 

I don’t know if the mother is losing her mind or what, but at the beginning of this she said we can take her, now she saying she will sign for us to take her but only for visits. Because the child can’t cook. I’m what in the world is she talking about, the child can’t cook. She’s almost 10, why she need to know how to cook to come live with us, saying we gonna leave her alone...why in the world would we do that. When I have my own support system that is waiting for her with open arms. But I understand what you are saying. We just didn’t think she would now say this.

[jeanita68 231]

1 hour ago, Unlockable said:

No, no, no, no, no!

 

Get this out of your head immediately. Take this from someone who has gone through the Dominican process and know a little about the permission. If you proceed with that plan, all it takes is the other parent to file against you. You may think you will be safe in the US. I am telling you, the worse problem you can have with this immigration process is doing something like this with children.

 

And not just the legal aspect of this, morally this is the worse thing you can do. Think about if you were in the other parents shoes. What if your ex took your child to another country?

 

You are thinking very selfishly right now. For now, your safest and best bet is make alternate plans.

 

Think long and hard about this.

Yes we are... well the thing is she said she will sign for her to go but now only for visits, she hasn’t been in DR since we started the process, her mother talk to her long ago and told her was petition for the child, she ok let me know when I have to sign. Our case took almost 2 yrs. so now here we are ready for her to sign and she says she doesn’t want was to take her to live but only for a visit, my husband tells her it doesn’t work that way, she says well the child can’t cook so she can’t live with us, because we will leave her home alone. I don’t know what made her think that. But that’s not true. So we know she is signing but only for visits as she says. We thought well we just won’t bring her back, ok...I know, it was said in the moment of things. But we know better. 

[HRQX 4,145]

2 hours ago, Unlockable said:

I honestly think the mother is in another country illegal (without status).

Exactly. OP mentioned Trinidad earlier. DR citizens only get 90 days of visa-free stay. OP also mentioned that bio mom doesn't work. Odds are that bio mom is an illegal in Trinidad.

http://www.nationalsecurity.gov.tt/Services/Application-Forms/Residence

http://www.nationalsecurity.gov.tt/Services/Application-Forms/Work-Permit

[Pinkrlion 2,607]

Right now accept the visits. Your husband will have his GC soon, he can go down every month or he can stay until the court case is filed, etc.  

[jeanita68 231]

16 minutes ago, HRQX said:

Exactly. OP mentioned Trinidad earlier. DR citizens only get 90 days of visa-free stay. OP also mentioned that bio mom doesn't work. Odds are that bio mom is an illegal in Trinidad.

http://www.nationalsecurity.gov.tt/Services/Application-Forms/Residence

http://www.nationalsecurity.gov.tt/Services/Application-Forms/Work-Permit

So just heard she got married to her Trinidad bf, does that now make her legal to stay there

[HRQX 4,145]

2 minutes ago, jeanita68 said:

So just heard she got married to her Trinidad bf, does that now make her legal to stay there

Makes her eligible to apply for residence status: http://www.nationalsecurity.gov.tt/Portals/0/Documents/6(1)c Marriage to a citizen or resident of TnT.pdf?ver=2016-11-02-140150-210

[jeanita68 231]

1 minute ago, HRQX said:

Makes her eligible to apply for residence status: http://www.nationalsecurity.gov.tt/Portals/0/Documents/6(1)c Marriage to a citizen or resident of TnT.pdf?ver=2016-11-02-140150-210

Ok, I was just reading about it. My husband will come here as planned, he arrives in the US on September 1st. Next Sunday. He wants to continue with his daughter visa, the mother said she will sign but only for visits. He told her it doesn’t work like that and she insists it does, because she knows someone else that only takes the child for visits in the US. He told her you will see when we get the visa it’s for permanent stay and we can take the child to visit in DR for summer and Christmas to the her grandmother. But she is saying no, only for visits with us and child continue to live with grandma, he ask her when is she coming to visit her daughter she said she doesn’t know and she can’t come because she has no money.

[jeanita68 231]

25 minutes ago, Pinkrlion said:

Right now accept the visits. Your husband will have his GC soon, he can go down every month or he can stay until the court case is filed, etc.  

Yes, we will continue on as planned my husband will arrive in the US September 1st. He will tell her again the visa is a permanent visa and if she doesn’t let the child come to live he will jus go for visit there to see her, as often as we possibly can. He still wants to file for custody and tomorrow he will go and talk to a lawyer, and if he has to fly back to get it all done then he will. 

[Pinkrlion 2,607]

Stop the back and forth with her. She said visits. Right now take it. She can visit he can visit. This will be a two year court case, she can revoke her ability to visit at anytime. Keep pushing her and she will revoke her ability to visit. She is well aware that daughter can visit with a visitors visa. 

[jeanita68 231]

1 hour ago, Pinkrlion said:

Stop the back and forth with her. She said visits. Right now take it. She can visit he can visit. This will be a two year court case, she can revoke her ability to visit at anytime. Keep pushing her and she will revoke her ability to visit. She is well aware that daughter can visit with a visitors visa. 

Yep we are done with her.. she said what she said. But she abandoned the child years ago. So we going to court. My husband jus spoke to a lawyer and he will assist my husband tomorrow going to the court.

[Daisy.Chain 317]

If I were a judge, I wouldn't buy that bio-mom left to work (or "work") in another country and isn't sending her mom (and through her, her daughter) money. In fact, if stepdaughter is living with her maternal grandma, that would slant me-as-a-judge toward bio-mom being given custody, whether dad says he has given money or not. (Why didn't stepdaughter live with her dad if they're so close? If he didn't take ber when they live in the DR, how can he be trusted with her in the US?) In my mind trying to be as "Dominican" a judge as possible, Grandma is probably paying for and bringing up this child. Mom had to go away to work and make money for her child. Dad (does he work?) has never lived with her even though they are presumably in the same town. Mom never saw her other kid again (and a kid leaving with a parent for the US and never coming back is a common situation in the DR). I would grant custody to Mom/Grandma, assuming mom knows about and shows up for the court date.  I haven't seen TONS of custody cases, but all the ones I know about gave custody to the mom, fair or not.

 

Your best plan is to negotiate..perhaps you can give it a break and do a follow-to-join if it is allowed later. If I were the mom in this situation, I wouldn't allow my child to be taken out of the country, even despite the best wishes of her dad and stepmom when I know that my mom could care for her.

 

Do NOT try to abduct and smuggle your stepdaughter into the US. Besides being wrong, you and your husband could get in TONS of trouble.

 

The DR can be a good place to grow up. Perhaps dad can visit frequently until daughter is 18 and can make her own legal decision.

 

It's a tough situation, and sounds like some hard decisions are ahead. Best of luck!

[MJMH 5]

18 hours ago, fip & jim said:

This is not true. Custody does not give a person the right to remove a child from one jurisdiction to another. Dominican Republic is a Hague Convention country. This treaty ensures that children that are internationally abducted by a parent are returned to their country as quickly as possible.

 

You need a specific court order to remove a child from one jurisdiction to another. I did this for my child. I did it before we filed our immigration petition. I represented myself in court and made a comprehensive proposal detailing how immigrating was in the best interests of my child. I detailed how I would ensure my child could continue relationships with people from the home country. This is the only way you can obtain a visa for a child that is a citizen of a Hague Convention country. The first thing they ask you at the consulate interview for the visa is if you have permission to permanently remove the child from the country and they want the original paperwork (court order or signed permission from the other parent) to prove it. 

 

If the mother won't give permission then you will need to get a court order. Personally, I wouldn't be content with only a signed permission as people can and do change their mind. If you apply for a court order they usually insist that all parties attend mediation to resolve any issues before appearing in court and finalizing either permission or denial. If the mother won't attend then a decision will be made in her absence. Given that the grandmother is caring for the child too then that will need to be resolved. There's been a lack of planning here. There's been a lack of research about the process and the requirements. The alternatives haven't been thought through. It's not enough to hope for the best where children are involved. The child needs to maintain relationships with the people that are currently in her life. Immigration is tough. Assimilating in to another culture is tough. The laws are there to protect children. People often mistake parental responsibility for parental rights. The child has rights, the parent has responsibility. A judge will look at facts about who has behaved responsibly and make a judgement (based on the factual evidence presented) on what is in the best interests of the child. 

 

I would offer mediation (with a qualified mediator) to see what can be resolved. If the grandmother is elderly then that needs consideration too (what if she got sick or died in the current situation?). Detail, in minute detail, your proposal (e.g. I offered my child's other parent pay less child support so there was funds for visitation. I detailed exactly how much plane tickets to and from the US are, etc.). In my opinion this situation needs sorting out regardless of immigration. Informal agreements often leave children vulnerable if something goes wrong. Once your husband has left the Dominican Republic and has become a permanent resident of the US it will be even more difficult to negotiate an arrangement for his child. This needs sorting ASAP. Leaving this until 8 days before he is planning to leave does not bode well for proving responsibility and forward planning if he wishes to bring her to the US. 

 

 

 

 

Full custody does give the parent the right to relocate to another country with the child. The mother can visit her in the US as much as she can visit her anywhere else. She is not living with her anyways. The grandmother is elderly and sick. I would take this matter in front of a judge, and let the court grant you full permission to take the child to the US.

[jeanita68 231]

7 hours ago, Daisy.Chain said:

If I were a judge, I wouldn't buy that bio-mom left to work (or "work") in another country and isn't sending her mom (and through her, her daughter) money. In fact, if stepdaughter is living with her maternal grandma, that would slant me-as-a-judge toward bio-mom being given custody, whether dad says he has given money or not. (Why didn't stepdaughter live with her dad if they're so close? If he didn't take ber when they live in the DR, how can he be trusted with her in the US?) In my mind trying to be as "Dominican" a judge as possible, Grandma is probably paying for and bringing up this child. Mom had to go away to work and make money for her child. Dad (does he work?) has never lived with her even though they are presumably in the same town. Mom never saw her other kid again (and a kid leaving with a parent for the US and never coming back is a common situation in the DR). I would grant custody to Mom/Grandma, assuming mom knows about and shows up for the court date.  I haven't seen TONS of custody cases, but all the ones I know about gave custody to the mom, fair or not.

 

Your best plan is to negotiate..perhaps you can give it a break and do a follow-to-join if it is allowed later. If I were the mom in this situation, I wouldn't allow my child to be taken out of the country, even despite the best wishes of her dad and stepmom when I know that my mom could care for her.

 

Do NOT try to abduct and smuggle your stepdaughter into the US. Besides being wrong, you and your husband could get in TONS of trouble.

 

The DR can be a good place to grow up. Perhaps dad can visit frequently until daughter is 18 and can make her own legal decision.

 

It's a tough situation, and sounds like some hard decisions are ahead. Best of luck!

Yea..we definitely wont kidnap or smuggle her. And she doesnt live with dad because they make him believe he has no rights to the child. Yes my husband works and he pays for everything. Thats all they want from him bur no let her live with him not even in DR. He jus thinks because her mom says no he cant. He has rights he is her father. She is not evening working and has never worked so she claims. My husband gives grandma everything for the child.