Step child parent not wanting child to go to US

[Pinkrlion 2,607]

2 hours ago, jeanita68 said:

She left the child with her grandmother, when I met my husband I told him take her to live with him and he said he has no rights. The mother didn’t want her living with him. But he picks her up from school every day, he pays for the school he provides food and every thing so i never understood why he didn’t just take her. He was always afraid the child mother would make trouble for him. She tried to control him even when we brought a house in DR she was mad because he sold his apartment for us to invest in a bigger house. 

If you already bought a home in DR, then u move there and live in DR. There will not be any issues with her missing her dad. If that is what's best for the child until he gets custody, then that's what is best for her. 

[jeanita68 231]

1 minute ago, Lemonslice said:

Have you considered moving to live with him, he'd maintain daily visits, you would live together...

Yes. I have but i have a good job here. We plan to retire there, we brought a house in DR last yr. So eventually yes we will move back there. 

[jeanita68 231]

9 minutes ago, Jorgedig said:

Just because she lives in another country does not mean she has given up or been stripped of her parental rights.

True.. but he has never left the child since she was born. He has always been there. The child dont even really knw her mother. She wont even take the child with her for a visit

[Lemonslice 4,553]

3 minutes ago, jeanita68 said:

Yes. I have but i have a good job here. We plan to retire there, we brought a house in DR last yr. So eventually yes we will move back there. 

You said she's daddy's girl, she loves him, she won't have any parents nearby anymore. Seems cruel to leave her alone when it's feasible to move there. 

 

Why not consider it? Or he stays there, and you work remotely from there part of the year? 

[jeanita68 231]

2 minutes ago, Lemonslice said:

You said she's daddy's girl, she loves him, she won't have any parents nearby anymore. Seems cruel to leave her alone when it's feasible to move there. 

 

Why not consider it? Or he stays there, and you work remotely from there part of the year? 

I go there every month for the past 4 yrs. The child even calls me mom. When I’m there she spends every day with us. We just figured it would be better life for her in the US all my husband wants is to give her a good life and so do I. It may have to come to that me moving there. We just have to do what is best, because we really don’t want to leave her. 

[QueenComley 295]

When it comes to immigration, deciding who makes the move is clear cut to me where children are concerned. You move to where the child is. I never dreamt of leaving the UK. I grew up in the same town all my life surrounded by all my family and life long friends. My husband had 2 children when I met him.. No brainer. I gave up my home, a great job in Human Resources, and moved to America. You said yourself you have brought a home together in DR, Mom wont let your step-daughter live in America. You will have her grandmother with you for help and support. The child's only real life long stability has been her grandmother. There is only one solution in my eyes, kids come first. You need to move to DR.

[jeanita68 231]

5 minutes ago, QueenComley said:

When it comes to immigration, deciding who makes the move is clear cut to me where children are concerned. You move to where the child is. I never dreamt of leaving the UK. I grew up in the same town all my life surrounded by all my family and life long friends. My husband had 2 children when I met him.. No brainer. I gave up my home, a great job in Human Resources, and moved to America. You said yourself you have brought a home together in DR, Mom wont let your step-daughter live in America. You will have her grandmother with you for help and support. The child's only real life long stability has been her grandmother. There is only one solution in my eyes, kids come first. You need to move to DR.

Yes I agree, cause she will grow up feeling that every one left her, her mother left since she was 2, she has a bond with her father now he leaves her too. I can’t let that happen. She was so happy and excited she would live with us. I know I have her grandmother support. I love her grandmother she helps a lot. And even though I know her mother has a lot of control even from a far she won’t let the child leave with us if I move to DR, but we would see her every day. 😁

[QueenComley 295]

10 minutes ago, QueenComley said:

When it comes to immigration, deciding who makes the move is clear cut to me where children are concerned. You move to where the child is. I never dreamt of leaving the UK. I grew up in the same town all my life surrounded by all my family and life long friends. My husband had 2 children when I met him.. No brainer. I gave up my home, a great job in Human Resources, and moved to America. You said yourself you have brought a home together in DR, Mom wont let your step-daughter live in America. You will have her grandmother with you for help and support. The child's only real life long stability has been her grandmother. There is only one solution in my eyes, kids come first. You need to move to DR.

You sound like you are a wonderful step-mommy to this little girl, and moving is hella scary, but I see this as an only option. I have been step-momma for over 8 years now and I don't regret the move for a single second. Those kids are the reason I live and breathe. If you ever need another step-mom to chat to please inbox me.

[SalishSea 16,770]

10 minutes ago, QueenComley said:

When it comes to immigration, deciding who makes the move is clear cut to me where children are concerned. You move to where the child is.

Not sure if the OP also has kids, but when both partners do (as in my case), it is not so clear cut.

[QueenComley 295]

2 minutes ago, Jorgedig said:

Not sure if the OP also has kids, but when both partners do (as in my case), it is not so clear cut.

Very true... 

[Nina2330 5]

7 hours ago, jeanita68 said:

We tried and the mother said she can only come to the US for visits but not to live. 

We had the same issue, my stepson's mother said he can only visit ,but not live here. Almost three months into this  process she changed her mind asking us to let her video WhatsApp him every day and that's a very easy demand. I told her summer breaks and every other Christmas break he'll return to the DR with her and his siblings She signed documents giving my husband custody. You must have permission from the mother to bring her here. Good luck

[jeanita68 231]

Just now, QueenComley said:

You sound like you are a wonderful step-mommy to this little girl, and moving is hella scary, but I see this as an only option. I have been step-momma for over 8 years now and I don't regret the move for a single second. Those kids are the reason I live and breathe. If you ever need another step-mom to chat to please inbox me.

Thank you! Seeing how much my husband loves that lil girl makes me love him even more. He wouldn’t never leave her so this is hard for us right now, we discussing all possibilities. But under no circumstances will he leave her and neither will I. I love that little girl like she is my own she is apart of my life, and if moving to DR comes sooner than later than it shall be. 

[QueenComley 295]

1 minute ago, jeanita68 said:

Thank you! Seeing how much my husband loves that lil girl makes me love him even more. He wouldn’t never leave her so this is hard for us right now, we discussing all possibilities. But under no circumstances will he leave her and neither will I. I love that little girl like she is my own she is apart of my life, and if moving to DR comes sooner than later than it shall be. 

You've got this  😊 Wishing you and your little family all the best!

[jeanita68 231]

2 minutes ago, Nina2330 said:

We had the same issue, my stepson's mother said he can only visit ,but not live here. Almost three months into this  process she changed her mind asking us to let her video WhatsApp him every day and that's a very easy demand. I told her summer breaks and every other Christmas break he'll return to the DR with her and his siblings She signed documents giving my husband custody. You must have permission from the mother to bring her here. Good luck

Thank you... she is living in Trinidad for the past 7 yrs. the child doesn’t even really know her, jus of her that she is her mother. But she calls like once a month and tells her mother what to do n not to do, but my husband sees his daughter every day, and provides everything n take the child every where he spends lots of time with her. I think the mom is jus being selfish. I could understand if she was there caring for her child and didn’t want her to leave, that’s understandable, but even her grandmother thinks the child should go with us, because she says she is getting old and her health not so good but her daughter doesn’t want to take the child with her to Trinidad because she says she is not working. But she doesn’t want us to have her either. 

[Nina2330 5]

6 minutes ago, jeanita68 said:

Thank you... she is living in Trinidad for the past 7 yrs. the child doesn’t even really know her, jus of her that she is her mother. But she calls like once a month and tells her mother what to do n not to do, but my husband sees his daughter every day, and provides everything n take the child every where he spends lots of time with her. I think the mom is jus being selfish. I could understand if she was there caring for her child and didn’t want her to leave, that’s understandable, but even her grandmother thinks the child should go with us, because she says she is getting old and her health not so good but her daughter doesn’t want to take the child with her to Trinidad because she says she is not working. But she doesn’t want us to have her either. 

Wow I hope everything works out for you from what you're saying she sounds selfish. Maybe the grandmother can talk to her daughter, but maybe she's thinking if her child remains there she can visit her ( providing she wants to) because it's harder to get a tourist Visa to visit her here. I think your best bet is through the court system.