Emotional Support

[msrodriguez 267]

Hello everyone. I'm wondering how the Americans deal with all of the negativity from friends and/or family members. I have a few friends who are convinced that I am being used. They have never met my fiance, but are convinced that because he is from the DR and we met while I was on vacation that he must be using me to get to the US. I'm feeling pretty low right now. How do you guys handle criticism? 

[NikLR 13,220]

~~moved to off topic from K1 process and procedures. Topic is not asking aout k1 process~~

It took 5 years for my brother to realize my decision was mine alone and that i was doing what was best for my life. 

Pay attention to red flags but go your own path.  Cut the negative people out. 

[Anna J1920 45]

12 minutes ago, msrodriguez said:

Hello everyone. I'm wondering how the Americans deal with all of the negativity from friends and/or family members. I have a few friends who are convinced that I am being used. They have never met my fiance, but are convinced that because he is from the DR and we met while I was on vacation that he must be using me to get to the US. I'm feeling pretty low right now. How do you guys handle 

[Apple Bee 272]

That's one of the worst parts of this whole process. Bad enough we can't be with our spouse all the time but then we have to deal with negativity from friends and family under the guise of "concern". My sister allegedly threatened to do a background check on my husband. Without my consent. And she doesn't even talk to me. Like seriously? There's always gonna be naysayers, but the only ones who truly know your relationship is you and your partner. Best advice I have; ignore it. 

[msrodriguez 267]

11 minutes ago, Apple Bee said:

That's one of the worst parts of this whole process. Bad enough we can't be with our spouse all the time but then we have to deal with negativity from friends and family under the guise of "concern". My sister allegedly threatened to do a background check on my husband. Without my consent. And she doesn't even talk to me. Like seriously? There's always gonna be naysayers, but the only ones who truly know your relationship is you and your partner. Best advice I have; ignore it. 

How sad that she can't just be supportive and be happy for you. This should be a happy time in your life! 

[Apple Bee 272]

3 minutes ago, msrodriguez said:

How sad that she can't just be supportive and be happy for you. This should be a happy time in your life! 

Right. Some people are just like that I guess. Honestly the only person who was 100% supportive from the beginning was my mother. Everyone else was either totally skeptical, on the fence or straight up negative. 

[msrodriguez 267]

14 minutes ago, NikLR said:

~~moved to off topic from K1 process and procedures. Topic is not asking aout k1 process~~

It took 5 years for my brother to realize my decision was mine alone and that i was doing what was best for my life. 

Pay attention to red flags but go your own path.  Cut the negative people out. 

One of the reasons I love him so much is because he is always positive. No matter what happens, he remains positive. He has also said that we cannot allow any negative people to remain in our lives. His feeling is that our relationship is difficult enough due to the distance. We need people around us who are positive and support us. 

[msrodriguez 267]

2 minutes ago, Apple Bee said:

Right. Some people are just like that I guess. Honestly the only person who was 100% supportive from the beginning was my mother. Everyone else was either totally skeptical, on the fence or straight up negative. 

Interesting, my Mom is the most supportive as well. They just want us to be happy. So you guys are already married?

[Apple Bee 272]

2 minutes ago, msrodriguez said:

Interesting, my Mom is the most supportive as well. They just want us to be happy. So you guys are already married?

Yes. We were married in April of this year and the I-130 just got approved last week. Now we're (Im)patiently waiting for NVC to receive the file.

[msrodriguez 267]

1 hour ago, Apple Bee said:

Yes. We were married in April of this year and the I-130 just got approved last week. Now we're (Im)patiently waiting for NVC to receive the file.

Congratulations!! It's crazy that last year it only took about three months for approval. *Sigh* 

[Mary Lou 670]

2 hours ago, msrodriguez said:

Hello everyone. I'm wondering how the Americans deal with all of the negativity from friends and/or family members. I have a few friends who are convinced that I am being used. They have never met my fiance, but are convinced that because he is from the DR and we met while I was on vacation that he must be using me to get to the US. I'm feeling pretty low right now. How do you guys handle criticism? 

Don't listen to what others say, just listen to your own instincts. Have you had any red flags that would make you question his sincerity? How many times have you met in person? 

 

[Apple Bee 272]

43 minutes ago, msrodriguez said:

Congratulations!! It's crazy that last year it only took about three months for approval. *Sigh* 

Yeah I know right. I'm just thankful it only took about 6 months. With him being from a high fraud country I was worried it'd be longer. 

[msrodriguez 267]

13 minutes ago, Apple Bee said:

Yeah I know right. I'm just thankful it only took about 6 months. With him being from a high fraud country I was worried it'd be longer. 

That’s what I’m afraid of too. I know the DR is high fraud as well. 

[msrodriguez 267]

15 minutes ago, Mary Lou said:

Don't listen to what others say, just listen to your own instincts. Have you had any red flags that would make you question his sincerity? How many times have you met in person? 

 

No red flags. I’ve even tried to catch him in lies. I met him in Feb of this year. The moment I saw him I looked at my friend and said “that’s my new boyfriend”. Haha. I pursued him honestly. He doesn’t even speak English. Luckily, I speak Spanish. I even watched him for a few days to see if he was super flirty with other women. Nada. So we did end up spending a few days together in February. I went back in May and we spent a week together. The third trip was in September. The next trip is planned for late February. But, we talk from the moment we wake up until the moment we go to sleep pretty much every single day. We also video chat constantly. I’m sure these are the things everyone else does to keep connected. 

[Mary Lou 670]

1 minute ago, msrodriguez said:

No red flags. I’ve even tried to catch him in lies. I met him in Feb of this year. The moment I saw him I looked at my friend and said “that’s my new boyfriend”. Haha. I pursued him honestly. He doesn’t even speak English. Luckily, I speak Spanish. I even watched him for a few days to see if he was super flirty with other women. Nada. So we did end up spending a few days together in February. I went back in May and we spent a week together. The third trip was in September. The next trip is planned for late February. But, we talk from the moment we wake up until the moment we go to sleep pretty much every single day. We also video chat constantly. I’m sure these are the things everyone else does to keep connected. 

That's good you are having face to face time together. Like I said, go with your instincts, and try and ignore the nay Sayers. I know easier said then done!!