Interview questions about past marriage

[JayJayJay 0]

Hello amazing VJ community!

I have a question about k1 interview questions.

I am the USC petitioner and my fiancee is Ukrainian and will do her interview in Kyiv. I was previously married to a Russian woman who entered the US on a K1 visa (I was the petitioner).

My current fiancee and I both believe that it's good enough to know the very basics about this prior marriage and digging too deep just brings up bad memories and serves no real useful purpose for our future. She was also married before and I was pissed off when I had to fill out her prior spouse's name on the forms. I really don't even want to know this information.

My question is -- what line of questioning on this matter can we expect during her interview? Will suspicion be roused if she is short on details regarding my past marriage? Can she simply say... "I know he was married years ago.. I don't know the details because I believe it is of no consequence to our future" or something like that.

Thank you!

Edited September 22, 2016 by JayJayJay

[millefleur 5,047]

Hello amazing VJ community!

I have a question about k1 interview questions.

I am the USC petitioner and my fiancee is Ukrainian and will do her interview in Kyiv. I was previously married to a Russian woman who entered the US on a K1 visa (I was the petitioner).

My current fiancee and I both believe that it's good enough to know the very basics about this prior marriage and digging too deep just brings up bad memories and serves no real useful purpose for our future. She was also married before and I was pissed off when I had to fill out her prior spouse's name on the forms. I really don't even want to know this information.

My question is -- what line of questioning on this matter can we expect during her interview? Will suspicion be roused if she is short on details regarding my past marriage? Can she simply say... "I know he was married years ago.. I don't know the details because I believe it is of no consequence to our future" or something like that.

Thank you!

I'm in the same boat. My husband hates that we have to mention my ex...it's really painful for him to even hear about it, even the slightest detail.

I'm still in the beginning stages of all this, but other VJers have told me that it will come up in the interview and they will expect that your beneficiary to have knowledge of your previous spouse(s). I don't know how much detail they go into yet...I hope it isn't too much because it is awkward and uncomfortable and really does bring back bad memories.

Edited September 22, 2016 by millefleur

[NuZayetsPogodi 117]

Here's my 2 cents, and I don't mean this offensively. But you're about to get married. You need to get over those feelings of hating your fiance's ex-spouse. They're not married anymore, you have only your future to look forward to. I don't think you need to know the hot and heavy details of their marriage, but you should know how long they were married for, what led to the divorce (if the divorce was recent, especially), if they have kids, etc. My fiance was just interviewed and he wasn't asked any questions about my previous marriage.

[gregcrs2 1,778]

The husbands need to get over it. You just need to know the basic information as stated above just in case.

My wife kept her previous married name because of the hassle to change it over when you own property in Ukraine and that's the name she used professionally for over 20 years. While I don't like it, in the big picture it's really trivial unless someone wants to make it otherwise.

Edited September 22, 2016 by gregcrs2

[NuZayetsPogodi 117]

Hello amazing VJ community!

I have a question about k1 interview questions.

I am the USC petitioner and my fiancee is Ukrainian and will do her interview in Kyiv. I was previously married to a Russian woman who entered the US on a K1 visa (I was the petitioner).

My current fiancee and I both believe that it's good enough to know the very basics about this prior marriage and digging too deep just brings up bad memories and serves no real useful purpose for our future. She was also married before and I was pissed off when I had to fill out her prior spouse's name on the forms. I really don't even want to know this information.

My question is -- what line of questioning on this matter can we expect during her interview? Will suspicion be roused if she is short on details regarding my past marriage? Can she simply say... "I know he was married years ago.. I don't know the details because I believe it is of no consequence to our future" or something like that.

Thank you!

Yes, someone's past marriage absolutely does affect their future. That previous marriage, no matter how long or short, no matter any other details, is a part of your life story. How did the marriage end? Was there abuse? Was there neglect? You can learn a lot about a person by their previous marriage(s). If your fiance says she doesn't know details because she thinks those details aren't important, then she's mistaken. All that said, CO's are human beings. They're not going to ask about intimate details. They'll likely ask neutral questions, like dates and names. It shouldn't appear as though you or she has something to hide.

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

Absolutely talk about it and know what happened !

Not only did it come up in our K1 interview but it followed us all the way to the AOS interview.
Very intimate details were asked about past relationships that would make anyone blush if unprepared.

I join the club that says get over it and get with it.

[millefleur 5,047]

Absolutely talk about it and know what happened !

Not only did it come up in our K1 interview but it followed us all the way to the AOS interview.

Very intimate details were asked about past relationships that would make anyone blush if unprepared.

I join the club that says get over it and get with it.

I actually don't have a problem with discussing my past, but it's just hard for my husband but of course he accepts it as a necessary step in this process.

Just how intimate were the questions about the past relationship...? I'm a bit nervous now. I've explained so far: how we got together, how long we were together/where we lived, why we married, why we divorced, how I feel about it now, but do I need to go into more detail than that? There were no kids so there aren't any remaining factors to complicate matters.....Just wondering what I should be prepared for, just in case.

Edited September 22, 2016 by millefleur

[millefleur 5,047]

Yes, someone's past marriage absolutely does affect their future. That previous marriage, no matter how long or short, no matter any other details, is a part of your life story. How did the marriage end? Was there abuse? Was there neglect? You can learn a lot about a person by their previous marriage(s). If your fiance says she doesn't know details because she thinks those details aren't important, then she's mistaken. All that said, CO's are human beings. They're not going to ask about intimate details. They'll likely ask neutral questions, like dates and names. It shouldn't appear as though you or she has something to hide.

Honestly, I barely remember my exact divorce dates, is this something both my husband and I should memorize in case it comes up at the interview? What about birthdays of previous spouses?

I definitely don't have anything to hide and I'm fine with whatever they'll ask, I just want to be prepared and make sure my husband will be, too. Thanks for the input so far!

P.S. Most likely my husband and I will have two interviews since we are doing DCF: one when we submit the I-130 and then the other final interview. So, because of that I feel like we need to prepare as much as we can.

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

Nope, am not going into our personal questions

Yes, you both should know when you divorced, at least the month and /or year, remembering the date can sound too memorized.

The ex's age, reason for divorce.

Most don't get asked the intimate crazy questions we were asked about past relationships but some are. I wouldn't stress about it too much.

Focus on things you both have in common, your relationship, how and when you met, names and ages of family members, etc.

[millefleur 5,047]

Nope, am not going into our personal questions

Yes, you both should know when you divorced, at least the month and /or year, remembering the date can sound too memorized.

The ex's age, reason for divorce.

Most don't get asked the intimate crazy questions we were asked about past relationships but some are. I wouldn't stress about it too much.

Focus on things you both have in common, your relationship, how and when you met, names and ages of family members, etc.

Hm, I wonder what prompted them to ask more intimate questions. Is it just random? Do they do it based on country or age difference? I know they can ask questions about contraception and whatnot, not really a big deal. I mean, it's weird to discuss it with perfect strangers but I guess it's kinda similar to going to the doctor, heh. People on this forum have joked about how basically all your privacy goes out the window in this process.

Yeah, I'll make sure basic dates and ages are known for sure. I also told my husband if he can't remember he just needs to say that he can't remember because they get skeptical if you give wrong dates or facts. It's always better just to say "I don't really know," honesty is the best policy. Hopefully everything will be fine.

[Cathi 5,769]

Not sure why you would be pissed off about writing her ex's name on the forms, it's sounds immaturish and everyone has a past. Yes they will absolutely ask, especially about your ex because you are bringing a second fiance here from another country which is a red flag. Time to put on the big boy tighty whities and discuss details of both of your pasts. My husband was asked many questions about what he knew about my ex husband.

Edited September 23, 2016 by mimolicious

[.yana 597]

Hating on your SO's ex is definitely a sign of unhealthy relationship.

[millefleur 5,047]

Hating on your SO's ex is definitely a sign of unhealthy relationship.

Getting kind of off topic but, hating is problem, yes, but disliking and being angry about bad things an ex did sounds pretty normal to me. Dwelling on or obsessing about it is a problem. I don't think anyone's SO would like to hear about an ex if they did bad things to them. I think the OP's original point was he doesn't really like discussing it, and he's kind of annoyed about it. Seems normal to me. If it's deeper than that, yeah, it can be worrying.

But I get the feeling the OP is kind of in a stickier situation since he petitioned for his ex. So, it'll probably end up arousing more questions, and he'll just have to deal with it. The past comes back sometimes, whether we like it or not. Such is life.

I read online that one of the questions that might pop is: "How do you feel about the fact that your fiance/spouse was married before?" and I assume the COs could understand that people might not have the most positive attitude about it.