Pinay wife doesn't want to help pay bills

[MsCompE 50]

I am a Filipina too. I met my fiance while traveling in U.S. and I paid my own visa fees. I dont intend to ask him for money to pay for my tickets to U.S.

[pumpkincookie 0]

I am a Filipina and my now husband is a US citizen. When I was still in the Philippines I did help him with expenses while he's on a visit. I also had enough savings to cover all my k1 visa preparation and expenses. He purchased for my plane ticket to be with him and marry him here in the US.

Now that I am here in the US, he voluntarily paid for my green cards fees. I currently work telecommute and I am the one who spend for our food with no complaints. I am also taking classes and he pays for my tuition fee too... I felt bad that I am not helping much with expenses and I am still applying for jobs locally...I understand his sentiments sometimes...

I admit that we had arguments but not to the point that I have to go back to my country to escape from the challenges and hardships of being an immigrant. I am still learning with the culture, some people may sounded harsh that they didn't mean to and since I am the alien here, of course, I have to adapt. There are many good and positive things to look forward into than negativity.

I am soft-spoken and very sensitive but my mind is very wide and open and I am built with lots of patience. I was once or twice too upset and cried extremely for 3 mins, of course he was trying to calm me down, saying sorry. I never hurt him physically or bad-mouth him, not my nature. The only harsh thing I always said is to wish I die accidentally - that made him feel sad so deeply so I stopped saying it - not very healthy. I am starting to learn to just take it easy and discuss things without arguments because in the end we still love each other.

When it comes to his x-wife, I never felt jealous or mad at him, they can talk on the phone and send email once in a while - no problem. I trust him fully and he will never do anything to hurt me, that's for sure. Thanks for reading.

Edited August 13, 2016 by pumpkincookie

[blackmamba007 1]

seems to me there are a lot of misunderstanding here.. maybe u need to find out the reasons behind her actions? yes, she may be acting like a child, etc etc but why? why is she tampo? maybe u said something that to you sounded OK but to her, it sounded offensive?

i once dated an american guy and 80% of the time i feel offended with what he says, and yeah, it is because of the culture i would say, so i would always be tampo and worse, would have grudges and lots of unsaid feelings.

does she communicate in english well??

sometimes, since english is not my native laguage, when i am upset, i try to communicate my anger through words, sometimes, the words are not very easy to say so it gets frustrating, add to that the anger i have with the current issue we are fighting about... then sometimes he would interrupt me too, and most of the time when i feel he dont understand me, that also adds that to the frustration and anger i feel.. until i would just shut up and not talk bec talking doesnt help anyway..

i hope u can resolve this with your wife.. there are reasons behind her actions...

[X Factor 1,110]

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/583919-regret-marrying-k1-pinay/#entry7989574

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/591739-i-want-to-pull-affidavit-of-support-before-aos-approved/#entry8087165

I'm not really sure why you are still doing this..

Good catch lol

[ERTexas 2]

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/583919-regret-marrying-k1-pinay/#entry7989574

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/591739-i-want-to-pull-affidavit-of-support-before-aos-approved/#entry8087165

I'm not really sure why you are still doing this..

This is too funny, made me laugh a lot. Really good catch, I thought this thread sounded familiar. This has to be a troll.

[X Factor 1,110]

I have to say I have a very happy marriage to my beautiful Pinay. 4 years and going strong.

[Lee&Ana 88]

This is too funny, made me laugh a lot. Really good catch, I thought this thread sounded familiar. This has to be a troll.

You are the one who is trolling in my thread. If you don't like my thread GTFO. If someone's misery is a source of amusement to you, I suggest you take your laughing ### over to the effects section.

I have to say I have a very happy marriage to my beautiful Pinay. 4 years and going strong.

Congratulations

[Lee&Ana 88]

seems to me there are a lot of misunderstanding here.. maybe u need to find out the reasons behind her actions? yes, she may be acting like a child, etc etc but why? why is she tampo? maybe u said something that to you sounded OK but to her, it sounded offensive?

i once dated an american guy and 80% of the time i feel offended with what he says, and yeah, it is because of the culture i would say, so i would always be tampo and worse, would have grudges and lots of unsaid feelings.

does she communicate in english well??

sometimes, since english is not my native laguage, when i am upset, i try to communicate my anger through words, sometimes, the words are not very easy to say so it gets frustrating, add to that the anger i have with the current issue we are fighting about... then sometimes he would interrupt me too, and most of the time when i feel he dont understand me, that also adds that to the frustration and anger i feel.. until i would just shut up and not talk bec talking doesnt help anyway..

i hope u can resolve this with your wife.. there are reasons behind her actions...

At one point I was interested in the reasons behind her actions. I am not interested any longer. Talking, which leads to compromise, is the way problems are solved as opposed to being quiet. I can't imagine the whole country of the Philippines is walking around all day silent, pissed off at each other and hoping issues are resolved.

[blackmamba007 1]

Typical american. Dont generalize it. U havent dated all filipina in the Philippines, heck not even more than 100 filipina to say that.

[Lee&Ana 88]

Typical american. Dont generalize it. U havent dated all filipina in the Philippines, heck not even more than 100 filipina to say that.

If I said typical Filipino/Filipina it would be a war. But you can say typical American and it is ok. And you say don't generalize yet there are so many pinay that all act the same way. If all the pinays don't like the USA or Americans then don't go looking for American men or come to the USA. It is that simple. No one is looking to emigrate to the Phils. If the women weren't beautiful, no one would even travel to your country. And even if they are beautiful, all that attitude is not worth it, no matter how good looking the women are.

[Ervie and Rob 34]

If I said typical Filipino/Filipina it would be a war. But you can say typical American and it is ok. And you say don't generalize yet there are so many pinay that all act the same way. If all the pinays don't like the USA or Americans then don't go looking for American men or come to the USA. It is that simple. No one is looking to emigrate to the Phils. If the women weren't beautiful, no one would even travel to your country. And even if they are beautiful, all that attitude is not worth it, no matter how good looking the women are.

Chill.. the way I see it this should not be about the race we came from. Being married is not easy it takes commitment and real hard work. Being a man and a woman alone has tons of differences. In any marriage there is the High and the Low points. I hope you and your wife get through this. Any advise you seem to find useful so far?

[MsCompE 50]

I could understand Lee&Ana pretty well. Im sorry you have gone through that. I dont see in any case he is generalizing filipinas. He is just dealing with his wife.

Personally, i have been to u.s. so many times prior before getting engaged to a us citizen. I visited my aunts and honestly, i didnt like a huge portion of the filipinos who migrated in u.s. most especially girls. It really depends where they came from. A huge portion doesnt know how to deal with the sudden change of lifestyle and it goes into their heads.

[SunflowerSweet 1,321]

You are the one who is trolling in my thread. If you don't like my thread GTFO. If someone's misery is a source of amusement to you, I suggest you take your laughing ### over to the effects section.

The thread that just wont die...

I feel like you would get a lot more sympathy if it wasn't for the fact that his has been going on so long. You have been making posts/threads complaining about your wife for months now and so far haven't actually done anything meaningful about it.

It's my own personal view that you are creating a lot of the problems yourself with the lack of respect and empathy as well as the controlling attitude you have towards your wife. I can see that just from your side of the story, and I am sure her side would make that even more apparent.

Even if I am wrong and it is 100% your wife's fault for all these issues (it never is), the fact that you have received advice on how to handle the issue as early back as at least January (for all I know it could go back further, I didn't did that far) and haven't taken any of the advice to heart makes me think that you don't actually want to fix the issue. Seems to me that you come here, tell the biased side of your "tragic" story in hopes of getting support, attention, and agreement that your wife is terrible and that you are the innocent victim in this scenario and use that to feel righteous in your toxic relationship without doing anything to address all of the "misery" you are feeling.

I also think your opinion on the Philippines is clearly rooted much more in the problems that you have with your wife than actual reality. I've spent some time in the country as I have a relative who is married to a Filipino citizen and I think it is a wonderfully and absolutely beautiful place.

The reality is that the general opinion towards the country for posters on visajourney is probably going to to be incredibly biased. This is a forum where people come when they have issues or need help with immigration (or marital issues, apparently) so what is seen on here is going to be mostly the negatives and not many positives. So if people are basing their opinions on people from the Philippines on what they see here, then yes obviously things don't look great.

[Merrytooth 5,748]

Next time, get a working spouse from developed countries like UK. Then you won't have the problems of spouse not being able to pay for immigration process and household bill.

[Lee&Ana 88]

Next time, get a working spouse from developed countries like UK. Then you won't have the problems of spouse not being able to pay for immigration process and household bill.

Lol. Thanks for the tip. After this, no more spouse for me. Besides, plenty of American women here already. I would never look abroad for a partner again. It isn't worth the hassle.

Pro VJ tip: It's against the TOS to tell other users they may not post in a particular thread.

I wasn't being literal