Step son in the US and now bio mom is causing issues. (split)

[Sticky 21]

The child's mother can come and file for custody. It is her right. And it will not cost her thousands in legal fees. You can file for custody, child support or visitation in family court with or without a lawyer regardless of immigration status. If you can not afford a lawyer one will be appointed to you again regardless of legal status. However, you are worrying about someone who may not ever immigrate, and will probably take years to immigrate if she ever does. So focus on providing a wonderful life for the little man for now and if/when she does file the judge will grant custody to the parent who represents the child's best interests. Which would be a stable loving home, where he is happy, safe and well cared for. They will not grant her custody just because she wants it.

[CBO 15]

Thank you that was my concern. Not the custody because my husband is ready to address that; my concern was the "what if" if she gains custody and get welfare or anything for the child or owes hospital bill for the child, being that I signed form I-864 will I be held responsible for paying back any government assistance she receive for the child?

Edited July 21, 2016 by CBO

[aaron2020 11,651]

Thank you that was my concern. Not the custody because my husband is ready to address that; my concern was the "what if" if she gains custody and get welfare or anything for the child or owes hospital bill for the child, being that I signed form I-864 will I be held responsible for paying back any government assistance she receive for the child? Yes, you would be held responsible for any prohibited means tested benefits that he would receive because you signed the I-864. Losing custody would affect your obligations under the I-864.

[Boiler 43,755]

Mother is her illegally and no mention of how her daughter could get here.

[Adil & Jeanne 296]

First of all to apply for custody of son, she has to do so in your state

How is she coming soon to the US? really??? most can't just come!

if she he marrying to come, the new husband may not want to pay a lawyer for this to happen

Keep all the notices she sends talking about money as this seems what she is really after

and yes, if you went to a lawyer, it is costly but family court can appoint a lawyer for the child in his best interests

i would keep all documents, all emails, allow her to talk freely to the boy so it doesn't make you look controlling and wait for her to file

Don't panic

she may be wanting you to offer a moneary payoff / DON'T OFFER

BTW most states look down on a mother who gave up custody at any point

[CBO 15]

Thank you so much. We do keep all communication open with her. He speaks to here very often, we send pictures and inform her of everything. I appreciate all of the feed backs. As far as how she is getting here that's still a mystery but only God knows.

Boiler that's what I have been thinking because her mom is on TPS and the other only way would be through marriage. Which they probably found someone yo marry her and apply for a spousal visa

[CBO 15]

Advil we have many text and voice messages on Whatsapp that she is requesting for money we are saving all of them. Thank you

[Beth & Achraf 328]

Advil we have many text and voice messages on Whatsapp that she is requesting for money we are saving all of them. Thank you

Keep hard copy records of all communication, just in case you need it at some point..... be smart like you are, keep a paper trail...... best wishes....

[SunflowerSweet 1,321]

no...

Thanks for constructively correcting my mistake!

[SunflowerSweet 1,321]

Actually she is worried the mother will get custody of her step son and get assistance for him. The bio mother is all about money and how much she can get not the welfare of the child.

My knowledge of government assistance programs is mostly limited to SNAP, so forgive me if it's different for others but in the case of a minor child, their benefits HAVE to be filed under the household of the parent they are living with.

So even if the bio mother does apply for SNAP for the child, it will fall under her application, not just the child alone. A minor child cannot be their own household.

In that case, wouldn't be be the sponsor of the bio mother be responsible, not OP?

[CBO 15]

Thank you Morgan

[NikLR 13,220]

My knowledge of government assistance programs is mostly limited to SNAP, so forgive me if it's different for others but in the case of a minor child, their benefits HAVE to be filed under the household of the parent they are living with.

So even if the bio mother does apply for SNAP for the child, it will fall under her application, not just the child alone. A minor child cannot be their own household.

In that case, wouldn't be be the sponsor of the bio mother be responsible, not OP?

Both

[JenniferNangel 137]

Thank moderator for moving thread...... Thanks for response Ontakie. In Haiti there are no legal papers that needs to be done. She has always been unemployed so she wasn't able to provide for the child, and my husband because of him having a very good job in Haiti has raise his son from 6 months of age up to now. He has school records which shows he had paid for private schooling for his son and people that knew him personally that knows his son always resided with him in Haiti. She is not yet in the State but has threaten that she will be coming soon and she wants her son. It's so funny that in Haiti she never wanted him, but she does when she comes here, because of money. They are very well educated in Haiti about income tax check and child support because she keeps mentioning that; however, I filed for my stepson and am committed to take care of him. And I know deep in my heart that if given her son knowing the family background they will apply for government assistance and I cannot have that because of the affidavit of support I signed to get him here. She doesn't have her sons best interest at heart. He is here in private school, he has already mastered the English language and he loves being with us. I

If she's always been unemployed it's going to be real hard for her to get any type of visa (Haiti is worse than dr in dr you need to prove work and ties and have a certain amount of money in a bank account to even get a tourist visa) I think she is using her son as a meal ticket just keep everything documented that's all she wants is money she seems very envious that her kids father is in USA and she's unemployed in the poorest country in the world. I wouldn't worry too much about her but I'd cut ties with the abuela if I was you don't let them know your address or even move if you have to especially if your husband as full custody Baby mom and abuela can't do anything

[CBO 15]

Thank you Jennifer. Éven with no job she manage to get a tourist visa how I dont know but she was able to. I have learned that money talks alot in Haiti. If you have money everything is possible to get. That Country is so corrupted. But we are taking every procaution.

[Boiler 43,755]

How do you know she obtained a tourist visa?