Refusal to file ROC- What should she do ?

[rajvinder kaur 6]

Hello friends. Once again in front of you after a long time. This time I need your help for my friend. I am in USA with your help friends and doing well. My question: Actualy I have a friend here. She is on cri visa here. She is going through very hard time. Actually her cri visa is going to end about after a month. Her husband always bother her. He say to her that he will file for divorse. sometimes he says that she will send back her to India and sometimes he say he will neither send her to India and not will give her divorse. She do not know what she need to do. She knows nothing. Always kept weep and sharing her problems with me. She try to save her marriage. Her husband said that he will not file for ROC and she will remain illegal.And who think that foreign marriage for green card. What they want to say about like these people who marry to foreign people to spoil their life. He came here only by believe on her husband. She has no any relatives here.

[Penguin_ie 5,986]

**** title edited to be clearer and moved to Effects of Major Changes *****

What does she want to do?

Since she has no friends here, it may be better if she goes home- see if the husband is willing to pay for her plane tickets and relocation expenses in return for an easy divorce.

If she wants to stay, she can file for ROC with a divorce waiver, once that is done.

[rajvinder kaur 6]

Thank for your quick answer. Actually she loves her husband and she think her husband will turn in good soon. I am also suprised by her thinking. She is getting mad. I told her to call the police that your husband bother you. Then she questioned me will police take him to jail? I said I do not. She do not want to harm her husband. Will it be safe for her and for her husband if she gets the help of home service.

[Penguin_ie 5,986]

what do you mean with home service?

[rajvinder kaur 6]

Oh I am really very sorry. Actually I think there would be any home in America to help foreign people. But I understand you know you mean that she can go back to home. Her husband is not giving her divorse just saying Her and not applying roc. She thinks she should wait for a month because she has one more month. She wants to save her marriage. Should she wait or not. Afeter a month she will be illegal.

[Unlockable 7,306]

Counseling?

Her options are:

- Divorce and remove conditions on her own.

- Return to her country to family and friends that will help her.

Everything else is marriage related and she would most likely need to seek advice from a counselor. Or lawyer depending on her decision.

[rajvinder kaur 6]

Her problem is : First her husband don not divorce her just saying. How can she go to her home country without divorce? Once if she go back to India, it will be impossible for her to get divorce. she has to depend on her husband. if her husband will like to send her divorce paper than he will send otherwise he will not. she will never able to get second marriage if she ever wants in her life to get married. In India, it is very hard for parents to keep their daughters with them all life. So

she will need to get married again may be after 2,3, or 4 year.

Second: Should she wait for a month or not? Should she call the police about her husband? Her husband take her cri green card, social security card, license. If she call the police, what will police do? if she wants to file for roc, how can she? her husband is not giving divorce just saying and not applying roc. if she will want to apply for roc what documents she needs for this. where from she will pay the fees? where will she live. Because if she file for roc on her own, her husband will through out her from the home. He already taken her all documents.

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

She needs a good attorney to help her through the process step by step. Look for pro bono (free service) if she can't pay.
Doesn't matter if he agrees to the divorce or not, she can divorce him and file ROC with a divorce waiver.
Let the attorney handle this idiot husband of hers to get all her papers back.

She needs to move on and forget this clown, he won't change.
He can't just throw her out of the house but if she wants to she can look for a women's shelter temporarily until she is on her feet again.

She can chose to either go on like this or put some action in place for a better future.

[rajvinder kaur 6]

Thank u very much for your help. That's what I wanted to know. She is innocent.Two times he has beaten her. She can not call her parents to India because her husband cut the house phone to stop her to call India. She only calls me and msg me by what's app. they can take her mobile anytime .

[rajvinder kaur 6]

He never pay her mobile phone bill. She only do msg and call from what's app to me because of WiFi in their home. And I think her husband do not know this that she can contact by what's app.

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

He has beaten her ? Well then she needs to get out of there for her safety immediately and go to a shelter.
They will advice her in pro bono attorneys and will be helpful with other issues as well.
She needs to file a police report that he beat her (after she moves to a shelter). Period.
She needs to stop being wishy washy about leaving him and stop hoping he will change, he won't but he will
get worse. What else has to happen before she will take some action ?!
She needs someone who can help her to empower herself and stop being his door mat. Shelter is that place to start with.
Shelters are anonymous and he won't know where she went so he can't hurt her anymore. Then the lawyer and police take it from there.
Choice to get the ball rolling is up to her. Hope she does it today.

[Rc123rc 528]

Another domestic abuse situation. Get to safety, contact a lawyer for options. I think you said he took all her documents away from her. I'd be worried that he might destroy them. Listen to others on this post about ROC options. I don't see this as a marriage that can be saved. I have personal experiences of living with an abusive person. Personally, I would have run to the police and had him arrested. Maybe beating is acceptable in other places but it is not in the U.S.

[Anitafeliz 1,133]

She will have no life if she moves to India after marriage you are your husbands there is even a city for widows... Once husband dies you cannot remarry...She would be best off getting help here in the states.

So sorry for your friend

Edited May 19, 2016 by Anitafeliz

[Adil & Jeanne 296]

Call 911 for spousal abuse and ask to be placed in shelter

the police can get her personal items like green card and SS card and clothing out when they come

how long was she been married? is the green card 2 or 10 years?

she can also go to local churches and organization (list can be found in Sunday newspaper) for help and counseling

if she is also in California =, tell her not to be afraid of getting help as there are many ways that state helps displaced women

give her our best wishes and prayers

[IcezMan_IcezLady 582]

Going back to India would not be good for her. They will shame her. Some families in cultures like theirs will shame the woman for her "inability to stay in her marriage" regardless of the situation. In some instances, family name is held above the safety of the victim of abuse.

If you are her friend then help her get out of the situation to safety.

But it is all up to your friend. She is still riding on false hope that things will get better. Maybe she can get some counseling with her husband.

She doesn't need her husband to do ROC. She should be smart and cautious. Keep any evidence of this abuse and the marriage.

If she has never called the police on her husband for domestic violence then it won't help her case. In the eyes of the law, her husband is innocent until proven guilty. Her words alone is not good enough.

Good luck