Help Fight VAWA fraud

[av8or1 246]

As someone who has been through this personally, I would recommend that you not pursue any endeavor to have her removed from the USA. Granted, in my case there were no police reports and she never actually filed a VAWA claim, but she certainly threatened to do so. As others mentioned that you should do, I retained legal counsel and divorced her immediately. I did everything I could to facilitate and maintain separation from her. Once the divorce was final I simply moved on with my life and let her have hers. She ended up going back home because life was too difficult here for her; with no education, no work experience and when all of those so-called "friends" who convinced and helped her pull off her scam (and yeah, she took tons of stuff from my house too, including titles to my cars, etc. - and the officer to whom I reported the incident merely laughed at me) had scattered to the wild wind, what *else* was she gonna do? Short of finding some clod to latch onto, she had little choice. This woman sounds like she has more of a support network established here than mine did, but I'd suggest that you don't let that bother you either. It is what it is.

The primary point I'm struggling to make is that I recommend that you forego your quest to do anything about her presence in the USA. As others have mentioned, there isn't much you can do anyway and it will simply cause you grief for the next however-long until you finally do move on. I recommend that you re-focus on protecting yourself against any type of charges that might come up, though without proof, that's unlikely. Then simply find a way to be ok with her obtaining her goal of being here, even though she used you to do it. Be ok with merely getting away unscathed in the end, as unfair as that sounds/is. Given the way our system works, those who wanna play it like a fiddle can do so quite easily; and that playing can involve some serious repercussions for you. So I'd recommend just being glad that it didn't. Let it go, live your life, find happiness elsewhere. And the time to do that is now.

Just my $0.02. Take it FWIW.

Edited March 11, 2015 by av8or1

[Marco&Bettina 502]

find a way to be ok with her obtaining her goal of being here, even though she used you to do it. Be ok with merely getting away unscathed in the end, as unfair as that sounds/is. Given the way our system works, those who wanna play it like a fiddle can do so quite easily; and that playing can involve some serious repercussions for you. So I'd recommend just being glad that it didn't. Let it go, live your life, find happiness elsewhere. And the time to do that is now.

^This; especially this.

[Needhelp164 11]

I gathering a detail assists for divorce. It should be filed by the end of next week. Unfortunately I have long work hours so it is difficult.

I am just going to make an appoint with ice, dhs, and point out that she lied on DS 160 form and she does have a kid. That police report agains me is bs because she subsequently stole stuff (victims of dv should run not steal). I have a police report indicating my house was empty.

I am going to move on. But us letting people get away with this in a way supports fraud.

[av8or1 246]

I am going to move on. But us letting people get away with this in a way supports fraud.

Sure, you're correct, it does in a way. However what I was trying to communicate to you is that the system is, in its own way, designed to allow fraud to occur in the first place. And you won't change that system, so why bother? File your complaints with ICE if you want, ok, but walk away from it at that point and move on, that is my recommendation. Like it or not, the system doesn't care about you or your situation and it won't do anything to help you. However, it will hurt you if you give it the opportunity. Don't give it that opportunity. Walk away and find happiness elsewhere.

Simply a thought, trying to help as someone who has walked in your shoes. FWIW

[Needhelp164 11]

av8or1,

You are right. I guess I have anger because those accusations were false. I am nice guy. But maybe that was the problem. A lot of money was spent in this process to get her here. For bs to happen. Sure I should not look at that.

But economically you are not same. I hope the fraud unit l looks at the totally of the circumstances. Because to me this does not pass the smell of a victim.

I will move on. But I will present my evidence to the proper personnel first.

[Boiler 43,434]

What evidence do you have that there is a child, copy of the birth certificate?

[Pennycat 880]

av8or1,

You are right. I guess I have anger because those accusations were false. I am nice guy. But maybe that was the problem. A lot of money was spent in this process to get her here. For bs to happen. Sure I should not look at that.

But economically you are not same. I hope the fraud unit l looks at the totally of the circumstances. Because to me this does not pass the smell of a victim.

I will move on. But I will present my evidence to the proper personnel first.

If she doesn't pass the smell test of a victim then she will have a hard time proving it and won't succeed in her plan. Still, there is nothing you can do to influence this outcome. Most actions you could take could possibly just giver her ammunition to claim control or abuse. What do you want to look like? The bitter, spurned spouse trying to get in punches where he can, or the smart guy who realizes he's dealing with shady and potentially dangerous and gets himself out as fast as he can, letting her sink or swim on her own (knowing she'll probably sink)?

Please, I know it stinks, but these people are giving you very good advice, and some from personal experience. Listen to them. I hate to have to mention it, and I am not trying to pile on here, but many of these same people were giving you very good advice on your original post, which could have avoided the police being called and her claim of abandonment and false imprisonment--or at the very least would have shortened the amount of time she had to come up with a plan. I understand that sometimes it is impossible to act quickly, or you don't want to, or don't believe you have to. It doesn't matter why there was lag time, all that matters is that these folks were right then and probably are now. Just don't get tangled up in it. Get yourself out as quick as you can and leave her to whatever fate befalls her. Yes, present your evidence of her fraud. Yes, refute whatever accusations you are *directly presented with*. But your best bet for getting out of this situation quickly and with minimal complications is to report, divorce, move on, never have contact again.

[Boiler 43,434]

Plenty of examples on here of successful VAWA cases that did not pass the smell test.

The old adage that you can take a horse to water but you can not make it drink comes to mind.

[Needhelp164 11]

What evidence do you have that there is a child, copy of the birth certificate?

I just have pictures, texts, and a hospital when she took the kid to the hospital. She gave him a different name.

I saw the birth certificate but did not make a copy.

I will report and move on. I guess lying to immigration means nothing and she will get VAWA.

[Pennycat 880]

I just have pictures, texts, and a hospital when she took the kid to the hospital. She gave him a different name.

I saw the birth certificate but did not make a copy.

I will report and move on. I guess lying to immigration means nothing and she will get VAWA.

That's not what anyone is saying. Yes. It is possible that she'll be able to adjust because of VAWA (clearly, that has happened before). It is also possible that she will not. That is *not in your control*. Period. In fact, the more you push it, the more you'll look like the controlling, mentally abusive person she's going to try to make you out to be. I personally believe you, feel bad for you, and yet that's the feeling that is starting to seep through to me---a person sympathetic to you . THAT is the only part IN your control. Refuse to give her ammunition. Turn over what you have and let the people who are responsible for dealing with fraud, deal with fraud. Or meddle in it, make yourself look like the bad guy, give her ammunition to use for her case AND possibly make her desperate enough to take it to a whole other level that could leave you with very serious criminal charges on your hands. Your choice.

[Needhelp164 11]

CatherineA,

Thanks. I will follow you and av8or1's advice.

I will find happiness some place else and most definitely deserve better. It is best to find out know than later. I will hand over my docs and walk away.

[Darnell 8,478]

you already posted all this in another thread.

Get a lawyer. You were advised in the other thread what to do. The answers aren't going to be different in a new thread

Ditto.

FDNS is operative label here. Suggest OP go back and find stuff about it.

[Needhelp164 11]

Sorry did mean to start a new thread if I was suppose too. It just there were changed circumstances/questions/topic. Thanks all.

[Mountain Climber 186]

USCIS is not the right organization for you to be using....

This is a DHS matter.....even more specifically....ICE.

But believe me from personal experience you will be wasting your time.......ICE will do nothing to help you.

5 years ago I brought my fiance to the US on a k-1 visa......1 week after arrival she left my house, claiming abuse. (False, no police report).

I immediately reported her to ICE.......5 years later she is still here in the US.

The immigration system in our country is so broken. Like everything else, the government just kicks the can down the road and does not try to fix it.

Edited March 14, 2015 by Mountain Climber