ugly situation

[verysadguy 170]

Can we NOT encourage people to use VAWA unless there's abuse involved? Jfc

That would be honorable and ethical, but in real life VAWA is an easy (debatable) loophole to LPR status with or without PROOF of abuse. If you do the math of 12,000 annual VAWA apps and growing, that amounts to 40 foreigners being abused daily. I don't believe that for a second. Do I believe there is VAWA fraud of dozens per day? You bet I do. As a matter of fact I just received about my 10th request from a Russian woman today for money and come to America and be with me forever, and I'm over 100 responses from Chinese women looking for an American sugar daddy.

Wake up and smell the coffee folks. Millions of people want to come to the USA for handouts. Why would you want to live in squalor if you can find an American sucker to pay your way for years?

[Found Frolicking 1]

Sorry, there is no returns policy when marrying a foreign national.

Relationships breakdown, so divorce and move on.

On a personal note I find it sad that so many people think they can apparently treat a foreign spouse differently to a US spouse and return them "home" like a defective appliance.

Who knows the circumstances... But in regards to how some foreign spouses are treated that's opening a whole can of worms that's wrong on a lot of levels, often on the side of the foreign national as much as the citizen.

[MUXAGIRL 69]

Jesus Christ, what's up with some USC spouses thinking they can put their "real doll" foreign spouses back on a plane when things don't work out! Bringing them to the US might have been your doing, putting on a plane back home is not.

[Girl from Celebes 588]

Jesus Christ, what's up with some USC spouses thinking they can put their "real doll" foreign spouses back on a plane when things don't work out! Bringing them to the US might have been your doing, putting on a plane back home is not.

Indeed. That's why before get married, better to learn each other quite some time before jumping into conclusion she or he is the one which is many cases we are seeing here on VJ and got shocked to find out that "the one" they were thought about actually it was not. Foreign spouses are humans as well like USCs. But sadly enough to see many loopholes in the immigration laws that being used just to get a green card.

[David & Diana R 1,005]

I'm the citizen and I'm through with the marriage

but she refuses to go back to her home country or for that matter leave the relationship. Does anybody have any ideas on ridding me of this woman??? Sorry for not giving the juicy details which we all like but I need advice.

GET A DIVORCE.

[verysadguy 170]

I'm the citizen and I'm through with the marriage

but she refuses to go back to her home country or for that matter leave the relationship. Does anybody have any ideas on ridding me of this woman??? Sorry for not giving the juicy details which we all like but I need advice.

The advice to det a divorce is FANTASTIC FREE ADVICE. Of course she refuses to go back. Why does she not want to "leave" the relationship? Big house? Money? You're great in bed? If you don't love her, and you won't give the us the juicy details revert back to FREE ADVICE and get divorced. Then it doesn't matter whether she wants to leave or not, YOU WILL BE DONE.

As for VAWA we don't know what has occured. As for "returning an appliance" we don't know about fraud, mental illness, danger to your safety, etc. All you really asked is "ridding me of this woman."

Again, FREE ADVICE...GET A DIVORCE.

You want more legal advice than that, then give us the juicy details. My personal stance is this, you brought her here, now you have to deal with it. Yes, if there is fraud, I do think that beneficiary should be returned like a defective product, no fraud he/she stays as the relationship just didn't work out and now you get to PAY! If you were the problem again...YOU have to PAY.

If there was abuse, then yes VAWA is an option, but we know nothing of the time frames or GC status etc of this situation. If you bought bad fruit at the market you should certainly return it, but if you bought good fruit and let it go bad then too bad for you.

[AT20000 33]

Can we NOT encourage people to use VAWA unless there's abuse involved? Jfc

Even if you don't like it, you all have to realize 2 things:

-1- The simple fact of trying to force anyone out of the country by any way and to use the immigration system to achieve that goal while this person has full legal status in the US; and particularly because you are a USC whose marriage does not work the way you want, and you basically want to get back at your soon-2bx because of that IS CONSIDERED DOMESTIC VIOLENCE by law ( the legal term for that is threatening).

-2- The simple fact of using Immigration process as means of pressure to obtain ANYTHING from your spouse ( sex, silence, obedience, etc) and the fact of using USCIS process in order to blackmail your soon-2bx into asking for no alimony or into giving up custody of a child to your profit IS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE by law ( the legal term is "use of coercion and blackmail" )

So IF she mentions any of that on her ROC application, IF you have even just hinted this very threat on any text or email, she has ground to file for a restraining order AND to apply for ROC under extreme cruelty. (I bet proving hardship if she were to be deported to China will present NO difficulty).

Now before a whole cohort of ignorants of the law write whatever they think is the "truth" or whatever they have read from another (not less) ignorant tiers, the Battered Immigrant Women Protection Act of 2000 (8 USC 1101 note) specifically intend to provide protection against deportation to abused immigrants and their children in order to prevent them from " fearing that the abuser will retaliate by withdrawing or threatening withdrawal of access to an immigration benefit under the abuser’s control" (BTW I quote the actual LAW) should they have to file for anything ( restraining order, divorce, ROC, testimony against their USC spouse in a criminal case, etc)

So basically what you just wrote gives HER legal ground for VAWA/extreme cruelty application.

Now, I come from a country where the slightest social security card gives you full coverage of ANY of your medical/dental/vision/pharmacy expenses and retirement benefits so, let me tell you that we deal with crowds of immigrants ALSO. A bunch of people I know have married foreign citizens, thankfully I have NEVER EVER seen such a loathsome and widespread I-am-tired-of-my spouse-so-I-am-going-to-get-this-effing-bi***-deported behavior among my fellow nationals. And I am happy because this widespread behavior is beyond repugnant! Who the heck do you think you are? News flash: PEOPLE are NOT KLEENEX Tissues, you understand that?YOU made the decision of marrying her, SHE is NOT the ONLY responsible for the failure of this marriage, YOU BOTH ARE. So why do you think she should be the only one to pay for the mess you both created? Because of your pathetic anger and resentment, she should be thrown out like a dog? What else people? How about stoning her while we are at it?

Edited August 19, 2014 by AT20000

[MUXAGIRL 69]

Here is a fun fact about "Permanent Residency otherwise known as Green Card", it is kind of "permanent". *

*Conditions and other restrictions apply, to a certain degree.

[AT20000 33]

That would be honorable and ethical, but in real life VAWA is an easy (debatable) loophole to LPR status with or without PROOF of abuse. If you do the math of 12,000 annual VAWA apps and growing, that amounts to 40 foreigners being abused daily. I don't believe that for a second. Do I believe there is VAWA fraud of dozens per day?

Wake up and smell the coffee folks. Millions of people want to come to the USA for handouts. Why would you want to live in squalor if you can find an American sucker to pay your way for years?

Then you might consider looking at the statistics of the US department of justice on Domestic violence in the US! More than One in Four women in the US will be abused by their male partner in her life. I am not the one who says that, these are the statistic of the US department of justice.

VAWA has been created to prevent abusers who have been dumped over and over by USC Spouses ( because they are abusive) from "buying" a mail ordered wife, beat the heck out of her and maintain her in this hell thanks to their immigration status. So 40 foreigners abused every day? I bet you there are MANY MANY more than that who do not know what their rights are ( and for having been in this situation, I can tell you that finding accurate information is HARD).

Just so you know, no one goes and get approved for VAWA or I-751 for extreme cruelty for nothing ( see my previous posts for the list of exhibits)

Last but not least What handouts are you talking about? This is another widespread legend! First most people coming from western EU countries have MUCH better benefits in their own countries than any USC can possibly dream of in the US. So leaving their country to marry a USC and move to the US to find a worse situation does not stand reasoning. For the rest of the countries I don't know. Then, and most importantly, if an immigrant applies for ANY benefit ( cash assistance, housing assistance,medical assistance) they become what USCIS labels as "Public charge" And THIS is specifically one of the criteria USCIS adjudicators are using to deny ROC. So what handout are you talking about?

[AT20000 33]

Sorry, there is no returns policy when marrying a foreign national.

Relationships breakdown, so divorce and move on.

On a personal note I find it sad that so many people think they can apparently treat a foreign spouse differently to a US spouse and return them "home" like a defective appliance.

OMG 2ndMessiah, this is SO TRUE. I found it sad for a while also. Now that I have been reading this same "return policy" garbage over and over from overly entitled USC and for years, it just sickens me to no end. God knows that both your country and mine are receiving a huge bunch of immigrants also. Did you ever witness that in your home country? I have never, ever seen that.

I can only imagine what this poor woman might be going through at home considering the already abusive behavior and entitlement displayed here.

[melanieuk 19]

Then you might consider looking at the statistics of the US department of justice on Domestic violence in the US! More than One in Four women in the US will be abused by their male partner in her life. I am not the one who says that, these are the statistic of the US department of justice.

VAWA has been created to prevent abusers who have been dumped over and over by USC Spouses ( because they are abusive) from "buying" a mail ordered wife, beat the heck out of her and maintain her in this hell thanks to their immigration status. So 40 foreigners abused every day? I bet you there are MANY MANY more than that who do not know what their rights are ( and for having been in this situation, I can tell you that finding accurate information is HARD).

Just so you know, no one goes and get approved for VAWA or I-751 for extreme cruelty for nothing ( see my previous posts for the list of exhibits)

Last but not least What handouts are you talking about? This is another widespread legend! First most people coming from western EU countries have MUCH better benefits in their own countries than any USC can possibly dream of in the US. So leaving their country to marry a USC and move to the US to find a worse situation does not stand reasoning. For the rest of the countries I don't know. Then, and most importantly, if an immigrant applies for ANY benefit ( cash assistance, housing assistance,medical assistance) they become what USCIS labels as "Public charge" And THIS is specifically one of the criteria USCIS adjudicators are using to deny ROC. So what handout are you talking about?

Very true. I studied in Northern Europe. My tuition was free, including books and the state was giving me the equivalent of $900 for being a full time student (welfare program that every student gets depending on how far they reside from home), which was more than enough to get by. Also, minimum wage was the equivalent to $20/hour. That's what mcdonalds workers make there (compare that to the $7 they make here). I graduated with no student debt and some savings. (Most americans find this hard to believe).

I've read some posts here considering in-state tuition ($5000/year on average, I believe) a handout... lol. It just seems to me that there's a correlation between low self esteem and hatred for immigrants in America. As if immigrants are the reason for all the problems in this country. History is completely forgotten or they'd know that most of them are descendants of poor, sick and starving immigrants, "Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free..."

It is specially ironic to read derogatory comments towards immigrants in general, from people who are immigrant themselves.

[TBoneTX 43,543]

Let's please stay on topic and not debate other issues. The OP has provided scanty information and has gotten just about all the advice that we can offer on the basis of our knowledge. If he returns with more details, it will enable more contribution. Thanks.

[Caryh 5,206]

Jesus Christ, what's up with some USC spouses thinking they can put their "real doll" foreign spouses back on a plane when things don't work out! Bringing them to the US might have been your doing, putting on a plane back home is not.

My mother in law actually made me promise to send my wife back to her home country if I ever got tired of her. BTW calling our foreign spouses "real dolls" is kind of offensive.

[Robert/Jiamin 1]

to finish this here, in response to those who responded thats she's not a commodity, you're absolutely right! relationships break down, period, and was only asking what to do. I now know that that I-894 means more than I casually took it and I'll deal. Thanks for the responses.

[Ontarkie 13,981]

~~Thread Closed as the OP got the answers needed, as he is done with this thread~~