Divorce before green card reveived.

[Lisa098 0]

My husband and I had a happy relationship before I immigrated, but I was unaware he had serious anger problems. He has physically and emotionally abused me, strangling me, threatening to kill me, forcing me to do things that make me uncomfortable, you name it. My AOS is being processed but I don't know how long I can stay in this relationship. I have found someone else who truly loves me and I am positive I would be happier with that person. Is there any way I can still be granted a green card even if I file for divorce? Or is there any other way I could stay? I just wanted to go home before, but I really believe I could have a true shot at happiness if I stay but go with this person who desperately wants to save me from this hell I'm in with my husband. I can't even leave the house without him, I just have no life, but I want a life with this person. He isn't someone I just met, we first met two years ago.

Please help.

[funkymunky 11]

I'm so sorry for your situation but I have no answers for the AOS since you are filing jointly. Maybe someone can answer whether there is a similar waiver like for ROC? Good luck!

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

You can look into filing VAWA.

[waka1 28]

My husband and I had a happy relationship before I immigrated, but I was unaware he had serious anger problems. He has physically and emotionally abused me, strangling me, threatening to kill me, forcing me to do things that make me uncomfortable, you name it. My AOS is being processed but I don't know how long I can stay in this relationship.

I have found someone else who truly loves me and I am positive I would be happier with that person. Is there any way I can still be granted a green card even if I file for divorce? Or is there any other way I could stay? I just wanted to go home before, but I really believe I could have a true shot at happiness if I stay but go with this person who desperately wants to save me from this hell I'm in with my husband. I can't even leave the house without him, I just have no life, but I want a life with this person. He isn't someone I just met, we first met two years ago.

Please help.

Why would you want to stay in a abusive marriage where your husband has attempted to 'strangle you and threatened to kill you' ? Is your life worth waiting for an AOS ? Either seek a legal solution through the courts regarding the described physical and mental abuse, or take your chances while waiting for your AOS. Remember your betting your life that you can reason with a psychopath.

I understand paragraph one, but what does paragraph one, have to do with paragraph two ? Rhetorical question...no need to answer

[KayDeeCee 4,893]

You can consult an immigration attorney and ask about getting your green card even if you divorce based on Matter of Sesay > http://www.justice.gov/eoir/vll/intdec/vol25/3707.pdf

However, the ex spouse would still have to agree to submit the I-864.

http://www.uscis.gov/sites/default/files/USCIS/Outreach/Notes%20from%20Previous%20Engagements/2012/March%202012/AILA_Field_Ops_32112_Cleared.pdf

Question 1b: Please confirm that an I-864 affidavit of support is not required for a K-1 applicant for
adjustment under Sesay, since a K-1 does not adjust under INA §204.
Response: USCIS does not agree with this contention.

A K-1 seeking adjustment must establish admissibility. 24 I&N Dec. at 441. As the Board held in Sesay,
the K-1 adjusts as an immediate relative. For this reason, INA 212(a)(4)© clearly requires the alien to
have an Affidavit of Support, Form I-864, completed by the original sponsor, i.e., the U.S. citizen who
petitioned for the nonimmigrant K visa. The K-1’s eligibility for classification as an immediate relative
has always been predicated on the Form I-129F. 25 I&N Dec. at 439. The affidavit of support rule
reflects this practice, by treating the Form I-129F petitioner as the equivalent of an I-130 petitioner. 8
CFR 213.2(b)(1).

If the alien and the original sponsor are divorced, the K-1 may adjust so long as the original sponsor
already executed a Form I-864 or is willing to do so. Divorce on its own does not end the I-864
obligation. If the original sponsor never executed a Form I-864, and is not willing to do so, the K-1 will
be inadmissible as a public charge.

Note that if the K-1’s marriage ends by death, it is likely that the K-1 would be able to adjust as the
widow(er) of the citizen petition. In that situation, no I-864 is required.

If your green card is approved before the relationship ends and he never withdraws the I-864, then you will be able to file for ROC on your own after divorce.

~ Moved from K-1 Process to Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits ~

[TariesL 0]

From my understanding your only two options would be as follows:

To file VAWA, under the abuse the you have mentioned. With this is mind, have you police reports etc for when the abuse has happened? If not, if it happens again, be sure to call the police.

My personal opinion would not be to stay in an abusive relationship - especially as it sounds like you have someone else you have feelings for, so it doesn't sound like you have means or reasons to want to try and salvage the relationship (which I completely understand).

Option 2, is to leave the relationship, and the country. I don't know your situation before you filed for AOS - however, you could potentially leave the country, and come back on a different visa to pursue the new relationship. Or your new relationship could come and spend some time with you back in your home country, whilst you build a relationship.

This is meant as nothing but a personal opinion - but with the new person, you haven't had a chance to even have a proper relationship with them, and start on the foundations that are important with any relationship. You can't effectively ever achieve this whilst living with someone else, or working through abuse. To me, if that new relationship is important to you - and more important than your marriage, then you need to leave your marriage so the two of you can start getting a foundation in place. I understand this is hard when visas are concerned.

Just keep in mind - if the new relationship blossoms, and you end up marrying - you will probably face some tough questions come the time of your interview, especially with the timing of the two relationships lapping over.

The most important next step is securing your safety. Achieve this, and the rest will start to form.

[Eric-Pris 1,607]

Do you have any proof of the abuse? Because if you are thinking about applying for VAWA, you will need proof; your word alone won't cut it.

Convenient that you had a back-up guy. You met a guy 2 years ago and you must have kept in touch with him and confided in him since then? Maybe your husband found out.

[Lisa098 0]

Do you have any proof of the abuse? Because if you are thinking about applying for VAWA, you will need proof; your word alone won't cut it.

Convenient that you had a back-up guy. You met a guy 2 years ago and you must have kept in touch with him and confided in him since then? Maybe your husband found out.

Actually my husband introduced us to each other. We began talking more regularly in February after my husband strangled me and I told him I wanted him to act as my escape aid if I ever needed to get out.

The only proof of abuse I have is some recordings of my husband yelling at me, and eye-witnesses who saw me suffering a panic attack after he punched me and spat in my face. His family have been abused by him too but I'm not sure if they would be on my side if I reported it..

To the person who said call the cops:

He won't let me have a phone. On the day he strangled me I took his phone to dial 911 and he snatched it from me and crushed it into a ball so I couldn't call anyone.

[Lisa098 0]

Would an audio recording of him talking about strangling me and hitting me be enough if I were to file for VAWA?

[FLAussie 5]

I'm not a lawyer, but I would expect the people who've witnessed him abusing you would need to be willing to make a statement to the police about it, or at least write a sworn statement themselves about what they saw and when, for it to carry enough legal weight to prove the abuse.

All that said: there are domestic violence services that specialize in helping people escape situations like yours, and they will likely give you much better advice than anyone here. If you don't have free use of a computer or phone, maybe see if your new friend / potential partner can find out where you can go for help. But be very careful about your husband finding out if you seek help to leave: delete your browser history, make sure calls to helplines won't be seen on phone bills etc. Statistically, domestic abusers are most likely to kill or permanently maim their partner when they try to leave, so you're right to be cautious and careful.

And fwiw, the reason laws like VAWA exist is because predators target people who won't be able to escape easily - and it doesn't get much harder than leaving behind your entire life to move to a new country for someone, so all you have there is them, and being legally obligated to stay with them to keep your visa. Most foreign spouses and fiancés quit jobs, give up careers, sell or give away most of their worldly possessions, give up their home (by selling or ending the lease), and spend a lot / all of their savings to relocate to be with their USC spouse. That puts you in a tough position if the marriage doesn't work out, and a near-impossible one if your spouse is abusive.

People seem to forget that abusers don't try to strangle you over coffee on the first date. Most are adept at hiding their behavior til their partner can't easily leave; they learn very quickly that if they show the other side of their temperament to people who can get away, they get dumped by EVERYONE: not just partners, but friends, colleagues, etc. too. That's a strong incentive to have a charming public face, and to reserve outbursts for those who can't dump them.

Get some help from people knowledgeable about dealing with situations like this. I'm sorry to say this, but in the situation you describe, you're probably going to need it.

[dvsam2015 0]

You need to follow the proper legal channels, file police reports, keep a journel of events , take pictures. Get it all officiallly documented. AT the same time look into VAWA If needed call the hotline at 1-800-799-7233. The sooner you do this the better for you. If you have any questions , the help line will help you.

On a side note. I highly recommend that you do not start a new relationship until your current one has ended and you have your immigration issues worked out and you personally know that you can step into a relationship knowing you can step out if you choose. You could be going from one bad relationship into another and not even notice.

[JohnR! 5,495]

My husband and I had a happy relationship before I immigrated, but I was unaware he had serious anger problems. He has physically and emotionally abused me, strangling me, threatening to kill me, forcing me to do things that make me uncomfortable, you name it. My AOS is being processed but I don't know how long I can stay in this relationship. I have found someone else who truly loves me and I am positive I would be happier with that person. Is there any way I can still be granted a green card even if I file for divorce? Or is there any other way I could stay? I just wanted to go home before, but I really believe I could have a true shot at happiness if I stay but go with this person who desperately wants to save me from this hell I'm in with my husband. I can't even leave the house without him, I just have no life, but I want a life with this person. He isn't someone I just met, we first met two years ago.

Please help.

If your husband is abusive. the first thing you need to do is get your stuff and leave. There are shelters for abused women all over the country. Leave, file for divorce and move on with your life. You need to be concerned with your safety first. Look into VAWA, which applies to your case.

If you want to return home, your new boyfriend can apply for a K-1 visa for you once your divorce is final. Your chances to happiness are not all dependent on your remaining married to your abusive spouse.

Stay safe and good luck.

Edited July 12, 2014 by JohnR!

[believe 46]

My husband and I had a happy relationship before I immigrated, but I was unaware he had serious anger problems. He has physically and emotionally abused me, strangling me, threatening to kill me, forcing me to do things that make me uncomfortable, you name it. My AOS is being processed but I don't know how long I can stay in this relationship. I have found someone else who truly loves me and I am positive I would be happier with that person. Is there any way I can still be granted a green card even if I file for divorce? Or is there any other way I could stay? I just wanted to go home before, but I really believe I could have a true shot at happiness if I stay but go with this person who desperately wants to save me from this hell I'm in with my husband. I can't even leave the house without him, I just have no life, but I want a life with this person. He isn't someone I just met, we first met two years ago.

Please help.

Like someone else said, abusive people usually don't show that "side" of them until their victim is fully committed with nowhere to go. It may seem good now to run into someone else's arms: someone who wants to save you, but it's advisable that you find the strength within yourself to walk up and out of your situation and clear your head, before you continue your relationship with your new friend.

Immigration-wise, you can file for relief under VAWA. The form is the I-360, and you can file it concurrently with the I-485 & I-765. You will need to prove that you entered the marriage in good faith, are a person of good moral character, and were abused by your USC spouse. There are domestic violence shelters that can help you escape and begin your legal road to status and separation. Your hisband sounds like he's crazy enough to hurt your friend, so you'll need to warn him too.

Since you don't have a phone your situation is a tad more delicate in terms of contacting the DV hotline and local shelters, but it can be done. Join the VAWA part V thread for more information.

[Boiler 45,659]

Perhaps your boyfriend would like to move with you to your country?

[Lisa098 0]

Perhaps your boyfriend would like to move with you to your country?

We have discussed it but he has two young children which would make it harder. He has full custody and COULD move with them, but I know moving from the US to the UK is difficult, which is why I moved to the US in the first place.

Neither of us want to marry, not for at least 5 or so years anyway, so entering on a K1 visa again does not appeal to me.