Create a Sub-Forum to Discuss the Emotional/Psychological Impact of this Process

[thedude6752000 360]

I think we should have a sub-forum for people suffering emotionally and psychologically from this process. I am in a pretty bad place right now and it would help to have somewhere to talk/vent where I don't have to spend half my words explaining this situation.

[iali1 4]

I agree with you on this one about the emotional/psychological impact. Even though my wife file has been complete with the visa and everything. One thing I don't understand why would K Visa have shorter period of time vs CR1 visa. I just think it should be other way around vs CR 1 waiting for long time.

[Dfibus 16]

Great idea...

[Trisha89 36]

We are K1 fillers but I agree witht his idea

[NoelAnne 62]

Great idea, I'm an emotional wreck right now. I haven't slept properly in months! This is not good for someone my age, I'm a constant state if anxiousness. I've already been with my doctor several times over the past couple of months with related problems. I'm so tired of the whole process but I need to keep strong for my husband. I know he feels the same. <3

[PD0729 12]

Or just rename this one because we are all suffering emotionally and psychologically.

[Blueberry Pancake 311]

Agreed... this process is taking a huge toll on my sanity.

We could use a mental health counselor here...

*HUGS*

[r060106 109]

I agree with you on this one about the emotional/psychological impact. Even though my wife file has been complete with the visa and everything. One thing I don't understand why would K Visa have shorter period of time vs CR1 visa. I just think it should be other way around vs CR 1 waiting for long time.

I completely agree. CR-1/IR-1 filers are already in a binding legal union, according to our own government. So I'll never understand why we don't get put ahead of the line for actually being their definition of "immediate relative", which a fiance is not. Makes no sense to me and is so completely unfair and wrong for us to be pushed back so much in terms of processing times than K-1s, who are getting processed so quickly right now (no offense to anyone who is a K-1).

[Trisha89 36]

I completely agree. CR-1/IR-1 filers are already in a binding legal union, according to our own government. So I'll never understand why we don't get put ahead of the line for actually being their definition of "immediate relative", which a fiance is not. Makes no sense to me and is so completely unfair and wrong for us to be pushed back so much in terms of processing times than K-1s, who are getting processed so quickly right now (no offense to anyone who is a K-1).

I know ya'll are waiting long! But believe me when I tell you there are K1-couples who are getting faster approved as we do! We wait on february 12th 6 months for NOA2 (I-129F)!

[Sulaimon & Brandy 20]

This is a really great idea....We all could use the extra space to vent.

[thedude6752000 360]

Wow lots of responses. Little back story, we've been dealing with this for 3 years. We tried to get her a student visa back in 2011 so she could visit me (if anyone here feels the need to insinuate that we wanted to commit visa fraud and not just to visit please feel free to go ###### yourself) but she was denied. Despite the fact that I was a broke student just out of college I scrapped up enough money to go back to India and we got engaged in 2012. We had intended to do the K-1, but when I saw what the wait times were at that point (thanks to DACA) for the K-1 we both decided to get married instead. So we waited more than a year for me to find a good job so I could afford to fly back and get married proper Indian style. Then I came back and filed 1 month after landing in the US, only to find upon arrival that the insanse situation had flipped and now CR-1's are suffering like K-1's used to. So we have been dealing with this insanity since 2011.

Yesterday after seeing the Vermont stats I lost it. The prospect of even more suffering seems unfathomable. I know it's not true but we seem as far away today as we were back in 2011. Because she is a Muslim (and I am a white guy who faked converting to Islam) and her last name is Khan, even after all the normal waiting is over we're staring down the gun barrel of 221-G admin processing for months or even years. I just could not take it. I guess everyone will hate me for saying this but I started thinking about leaving her yesterday. I know you will hate me because I know hate me now. How could I think such a terrible thing? I must be a terrible person. The only way out looks to be suicide. I started researching online about it. I am not sure what to do now. I do not want to tell my wife because her emotional state is also fragile. I feel like I am in prison There's no escape and no hope.

Edited January 24, 2014 by thedude6752000

[Sulaimon & Brandy 20]

Wow lots of responses. Little back story, we've been dealing with this for 3 years. We tried to get her a student visa back in 2011 so she could visit me (if anyone here feels the need to insinuate that we wanted to commit visa fraud and not just to visit please feel free to go ###### yourself) but she was denied. Despite the fact that I was a broke student just out of college I scrapped up enough money to go back to India and we got engaged in 2012. We had intended to do the K-1, but when I saw what the wait times were at that point (thanks to DACA) for the K-1 we both decided to get married instead. So we waited more than a year for me to find a good job so I could afford to fly back and get married proper Indian style. Then I came back and filed 1 month after landing in the US, only to find upon arrival that the insanse situation had flipped and now CR-1's are suffering like K-1's used to. So we have been dealing with this insanity since 2011.

Yesterday after seeing the Vermont stats I lost it. The prospect of even more suffering seems unfathomable. I know it's not true but we seem as far away today as we were back in 2011. Because she is a Muslim (and I am a white guy who faked converting to Islam) and her last name is Khan, even after all the normal waiting is over we're staring down the gun barrel of 221-G admin processing for months or even years. I just could not take it. I guess everyone will hate me for saying this but I started thinking about leaving her yesterday. I know you will hate me because I know hate me now. How could I think such a terrible thing? I must be a terrible person. The only way out looks to be suicide. I started researching online about it. I am not sure what to do now. I do not want to tell my wife because her emotional state is also fragile. I feel like I am in prison There's no escape and no hope.

You are definitely emotionally drained from the process. I don't think that you guys have intentionally committed any fraud. I too was looking at different options to bring my husband here even on a student visa. But there was no possible way I could prove either one of us had 25,000 dollars just sitting in the bank for a year of international student tuition. I never even thought about the K1 visa. I myself went to Africa and made sure I would come back as his wife. Although I am very new to this waiting game I often think about what will happen if we are denied or the wait becomes so long that we both are affected. I have thought if he cant come here then maybe I should move there. Africa is a beautiful place to live but my family is here. That's all I will say about that, because I to fear that I will think the same as you. How does one break the heart of a loved one so many miles away? Another thought that comes to mind is how can we survive when it feels like USCIS doesn't care, or think about our mental status as we endure there wait to approve us to be with our loved ones. I am sorry you feel such sadness, I am optimistic for you and us all.

[iali1 4]

Wow lots of responses. Little back story, we've been dealing with this for 3 years. We tried to get her a student visa back in 2011 so she could visit me (if anyone here feels the need to insinuate that we wanted to commit visa fraud and not just to visit please feel free to go ###### yourself) but she was denied. Despite the fact that I was a broke student just out of college I scrapped up enough money to go back to India and we got engaged in 2012. We had intended to do the K-1, but when I saw what the wait times were at that point (thanks to DACA) for the K-1 we both decided to get married instead. So we waited more than a year for me to find a good job so I could afford to fly back and get married proper Indian style. Then I came back and filed 1 month after landing in the US, only to find upon arrival that the insanse situation had flipped and now CR-1's are suffering like K-1's used to. So we have been dealing with this insanity since 2011.

Yesterday after seeing the Vermont stats I lost it. The prospect of even more suffering seems unfathomable. I know it's not true but we seem as far away today as we were back in 2011. Because she is a Muslim (and I am a white guy who faked converting to Islam) and her last name is Khan, even after all the normal waiting is over we're staring down the gun barrel of 221-G admin processing for months or even years. I just could not take it. I guess everyone will hate me for saying this but I started thinking about leaving her yesterday. I know you will hate me because I know hate me now. How could I think such a terrible thing? I must be a terrible person. The only way out looks to be suicide. I started researching online about it. I am not sure what to do now. I do not want to tell my wife because her emotional state is also fragile. I feel like I am in prison There's no escape and no hope.

Its hard to be away from your partner and it seems that process can take for ever. Did you try contact government offical regarding your case? I know many people have said that they are no help but its worth trying it. if you have try senator then contact congress person or even make a personal appointment with them. Looks its worth trying it but loosing hope should not be option. Good things happen when list expected.

[Ryan H 3,791]

Moved from IR-1/CR-1 Progress Reports to Site-Related Discussion.

[bdrew612 1,071]

It really sucks to admit it, but the distance does put a strain on the marriage. My husband and I have the dumbest arguments and we both know deep down, it's the distance. We've been married 5 months, and instead of figuring out who we are as a unit, we're having a Skype-marriage still living our daily lives as individuals. I know our situation could be a lot worse, but I'm not happy that I only get to see my husband 3 hours a day (Skype) and in person 2 or 3 times a year. No married person would be satisfied with that.

My friends here, bless them, TRY to get it, but they really don't. My sharing and posting of our struggle is getting less and less attention. I've been reduced to an immigration status in conversations. And if one more person asks me "so, how does it feel to be married?" I am going to punch them.

It is nice to vent to people who understand. This was a good idea thedude. We're all in this struggle together and it is awful, but hang in there. You and your wife will make it through this and will come out even stronger than before. Don't give up, and don't feel bad for having a moment of exasperation. We all have those. It doesn't take away the love you have for your wife.