He abandoned me

[samiha 3]

hey everyone, am desperate, stressful, and unhappy, I have had real problems with the man I have married with since he left after our marriage in my country, starting by this visa process witch he wanted first to apply in a local office fiancé visa and to wait for 3 or 2 months before we apply for it because like he said the agency help a lot to have the wanted visa in a short time , he stopped the contact with me , while he understood I liked more the normal way with no agency or lawyer he stopped contacting me and answering my calls for almost 20 days and in the end after 4 months we applied for my visa, and got approved after 3 months , I was the one who send

forms to him to complete, making research, he dint show any effort since he didn’t apply for the visa the way he wanted first, he even tried and made purposed mistakes on forms at nvc stage while he feel mad, he told me this truth, I was surprised getting mistake checklists especially while we complete together online everything correct

He lied a lot, he lied about his divorce date witch I discovered while I have read some translated document, I discovered I was dating with him while he was legally still married (separated) with his ex wife which I didn’t like, and I forgave him, he said he have not been aware regarding his divorce date, I never expected from him to lie or change, especially after the big effort I made to make my family accept my marriage Due to differences in customs and traditions and religion,

Last time we have been chatting together, exchanging ideas concerning Islam and Ramadan one moment I felt he may felt am trying to test him or to know how much and why he reverted to Islam to marry me , we disconnected , and stop contacting each other , I have called him , and I got no answer .I felt desperate , tired and bored of the initiative to contact always, i stopped contacting him, and now 1 month i get no call from him or email, witch it never happened before marriage and during our relationship since 2009 , now i realized he is not going to call back anymore, especially after when i got my interview date and he got email too with the same info from nvc ; and after our first marriage anniversary witch it was few days ago, am in very difficult situation, i have not seen him from last year, and i see no affection and love like before , I can not shock my family after 1 year waiting for weeding and leave, that the man I chose was just a mistake in my life , and he abandoned me. i asked before for a divorce while i have seen how much he changed and how much i don’t feel happy with him like before but he refused

can you advice me , what do i have to do, my interview day is coming ,and i have no idea what i have to do, i was just thinking i may revoke this upcoming interview ,and this visa process !!! i don’t know what to do, call someone from his family ?Call him again ? He doesn’t answer! Thanks for advice,

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

If he abandoned you, why are you pursuing a Visa? What is the basis for your entry to the US as the spouse of a USC citizen you intend to divorce? You should probably try to get an annulment in your country. From what you have posted, you don't have a bona fide relationship, and I am sure you will be denied a visa for that reason.

Edited August 7, 2013 by The Patriot

[samiha 3]

If he abandoned you, why are you pursuing a Visa? What is the basis for your entry to the US as the spouse of a USC citizen you intend to divorce? You should probably try to get an annulment in your country. From what you have posted, you don't have a bona fide relationship, and I am sure you will be denied a visa for that reason.

im not pursuing a visa and thinking about my interview or if i'll be approved or not , we have completed visa case together, not bymyelf , i worry about what to do in my case, if he abandoned me like i see , im not going to any interview for sure one thing for sure i m not going to leave my home country to make a new life with him he is showing little commitment to me and the marriage ,

Edited August 7, 2013 by samiha

[anajnic 87]

hey everyone, am desperate, stressful, and unhappy, I have had real problems with the man I have married with since he left after our marriage in my country, starting by this visa process witch he wanted first to apply in a local office fiancé visa and to wait for 3 or 2 months before we apply for it because like he said the agency help a lot to have the wanted visa in a short time , he stopped the contact with me , while he understood I liked more the normal way with no agency or lawyer he stopped contacting me and answering my calls for almost 20 days and in the end after 4 months we applied for my visa, and got approved after 3 months , I was the one who send

forms to him to complete, making research, he dint show any effort since he didn’t apply for the visa the way he wanted first, he even tried and made purposed mistakes on forms at nvc stage while he feel mad, he told me this truth, I was surprised getting mistake checklists especially while we complete together online everything correct

He lied a lot, he lied about his divorce date witch I discovered while I have read some translated document, I discovered I was dating with him while he was legally still married (separated) with his ex wife which I didn’t like, and I forgave him, he said he have not been aware regarding his divorce date, I never expected from him to lie or change, especially after the big effort I made to make my family accept my marriage Due to differences in customs and traditions and religion,

Last time we have been chatting together, exchanging ideas concerning Islam and Ramadan one moment I felt he may felt am trying to test him or to know how much and why he reverted to Islam to marry me , we disconnected , and stop contacting each other , I have called him , and I got no answer .I felt desperate , tired and bored of the initiative to contact always, i stopped contacting him, and now 1 month i get no call from him or email, witch it never happened before marriage and during our relationship since 2009 , now i realized he is not going to call back anymore, especially after when i got my interview date and he got email too with the same info from nvc ; and after our first marriage anniversary witch it was few days ago, am in very difficult situation, i have not seen him from last year, and i see no affection and love like before , I can not shock my family after 1 year waiting for weeding and leave, that the man I chose was just a mistake in my life , and he abandoned me. i asked before for a divorce while i have seen how much he changed and how much i don’t feel happy with him like before but he refused

can you advice me , what do i have to do, my interview day is coming ,and i have no idea what i have to do, i was just thinking i may revoke this upcoming interview ,and this visa process !!! i don’t know what to do, call someone from his family ?Call him again ? He doesn’t answer! Thanks for advice,

That relationship/ marriage , whatever it is , is over. You cannot pursue anything because he will not show up to interview . He is done, finished with it. More than likely your marriage is void because it seems you wee married to him whilst married. Move on with your life

[HollyGolightly 72]

I am sorry to hear about your situation. I think you should just cut your loses and legally separate with your husband and forget even pursuing your visa application.

The visa process requires your husband's participation and without him you cannot even hope to be issued a visa. Also, think about what could happen to you if you insist in being with him in the US. You will be virtually dependent on your spouse within the first years of your entry and if he is opting to abandon you now, whose to say he won't abandon you later. Without any means to support yourself (no network of family or friends) you will probably be in more trouble than you are now that he's abandoned you while you are still in your home country. Be grateful that you saw his true colors early on and while you still have a chance.

[samiha 3]

thanks for your reply just to clarify one point , he was legally separated from his e wife and he didnt tell me while we met online and in peron for the first time; witch i dint like and expected when i knew tht last year , we gt married while he was divorced man for sure 2 years after his divorce ,

[anajnic 87]

thanks for your reply just to clarify one point , he was legally separated from his e wife and he didnt tell me while we met online and in peron for the first time; witch i dint like and expected when i knew tht last year , we gt married while he was divorced man for sure 2 years after his divorce ,

Its not a bed of roses here without family or a solid relationship. You will cryyyyyyyyyyyyyy a lot. Your heart will hurt. You are going through nothing really compared to what ypou could go through if it continues. too much sacrifice so early in it. Just get an annulment, get that monkey off your back and live your life. However it is it si better than being with him. He has displayed his true colors. You cant blame him , he could have changed in the interim and met someone else and does not wanna deal with the hassle. You are better off and should strt breathing sighs of relief

[samiha 3]

I am sorry to hear about your situation. I think you should just cut your loses and legally separate with your husband and forget even pursuing your visa application.

The visa process requires your husband's participation and without him you cannot even hope to be issued a visa. Also, think about what could happen to you if you insist in being with him in the US. You will be virtually dependent on your spouse within the first years of your entry and if he is opting to abandon you now, whose to say he won't abandon you later. Without any means to support yourself (no network of family or friends) you will probably be in more trouble than you are now that he's abandoned you while you are still in your home country. Be grateful that you saw his true colors early on and while you still have a chance.

im sad i dont know how to tell my family we are finished after 1 year waiting, too many questions in one time , how to apply for divorce from us citizen in my country ! im really in big mess, my family they still dont know anything, they pass their hello to him every time where we are in ramadan table, asking me if he could fast day or two this ramadan, i have been lying /hiding my feelings for 1 month now ,

Edited August 7, 2013 by samiha

[HollyGolightly 72]

im sad i dont know how to tell my family we are finished after 1 year waiting, too many questions in one time , how to apply for divorce from us citizen in my country ! im really in big mess, my family they still dont know anything, they pass their hello to him every time where we are in ramadan table, asking me if he could fast day or two this ramadan, i have been lying /hiding my feelings for 1 month now ,

I understand. You are feeling ashamed and confused at the prospect a failed marriage in such a short time, but you should give your family and friends some credit. Sure there will be some judgement and you cannot help it when people talk specially in a culture as conservative as yours but you will have to bite the bullet and accept it. The sooner you come to terms with your situation and move on, the sooner you'll be able to formulate a plan of action. I think you should share your feelings with your closest relatives and friends. They will understand and care for you no matter what. Have faith in them. Their love and support is what you will need to get through this tough time.

Edited August 7, 2013 by HollyGolightly

[samiha 3]

I understand. You are feeling ashamed and confused at the prospect a failed marriage in such a short time, but you should give your family and friends some credit. Sure there will be some judgement and you cannot help it when people talk specially in a culture as conservative as yours but you will have to bite the bullet and accept it. The sooner you come to terms with your situation and move on, the sooner you'll be able to formulate a plan of action. I think you should share your feelings with your closest relatives and friends. They will understand and care for you no matter what. Have faith in them. Their love and support is what you will need to get through this tough time.

yes you anderstood perfectly my feeling , thanks for advices , i'll try my best to do what i have to do, i just need some time to beleive what' is happening to me and i'll be fine

[NickD 202]

Not only offenses against you, but the law as well, a bigamist, apparent lying on your marriage license, and additional lying to the state department. You can press charges if you want to. .

[Ontarkie 13,914]

~~~~Moved to Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits, from General Immigration-Related Discussion as a more appropriate forum.~~~~

[samiha 3]

Not only offenses against you, but the law as well, a bigamist, apparent lying on your marriage license, and additional lying to the state department. You can press charges if you want to. .

dont undertand well what you means , where was the lie on my marriage license? and what additional lying to the state department ? , i think because of my englesh some have not undertood well my post

[samiha 3]

Since i have post my situation, i have started seriouly thinking to revoke my visa application before my interview date, , husband absent , gone and disappeared , i dont want just to forget about all this stressful process and move on on my life , can the beneficiary revoke and cancell the visa application? how ? or just the petitioner who has the right to revoke the petition , thanks

[dwheels76 5,459]

I am sorry. I do know that pain and t hurts and you are embarrassed and humiliated but it is well and soon your smile will come back and your heart will stop hurting.

Forget about the interview just don't show up. It's for him to clean up the mess. You need to seek a lawyer in your country or call your court house to see how to file for divorce or annulment in absentcia.

Your family will commend you maybe a "I told you so: but at least you will be surrounded by those who love you and only want the best for you. I m sure you parents know who to contact.