Just an Idea

[MedRoni 161]

Hey, just something to add to the "suggestion box" for the moderators. Hopefully this is the place to put it.

I have noticed a large number of threads where groups of people have turned legitimate questions/original posts into a bully's playground. I know it is always around a bit but it seems to be getting progressively worse. Many personal attacks, calling each other names, verbal fights and just a general lack of respect for people.

Sure debate to some degree is healthy, but it can be done with common courtesy. I know you guys cannot "see" everything and count on people to report it, but unfortunately that isn't always the case. Some prefer the "good fight".

Anyway, back to my suggestion. Maybe it would be helpful to us all to just have a reminder posted from a Moderator that being adults makes for a more positive environment and supportive community.

OK - my suggestion paper is turned in to the box. Thanks for a place to file it!

[Penguin_ie 5,986]

You mean like a pop-up for the whole site sort of thing? Or in the thread? We do post reminders to be civil and post constructively when we see issues, but there are only a few moderators and many,many posts on VJ, so we rely on members to use the REPORT button at the bottom left of every post to report things that are against TOS such as personal attacks, bickering etc. so we can check the thread and deal with it.

[MedRoni 161]

I meant like a pop up for the whole kind of site thing. Just a nice reminder as I think some people have forgotten. I know when I had mentioned it in a post that things were off topic and maybe we could all be a bit nicer I got a nice personal attack and Kathryn was kind enough to shut it down. I was thinking maybe a general reminder as I know I see it a lot and I assume you guys didn't want too many reports.

I guess to me as adults we should be better at this, but in a way it is kind of like a playground

And it is just a suggestion... I can always hit the report button too when I see it

Edited March 29, 2013 by MedRoni

[Darnell 8,478]

Uncle Darnell Say

Please use the report button.

<EOM>

[Kathryn41 3,205]

It would be nice to have a general announcement reminding people that it really isn't that difficult to be kind and courteous on line, but that is generally what the TOS is about -although how many people actually read those until they violate them and we bring the link to their attention, I don't know . It is always much more effective to disagree with someone's position with courtesy and consideration for others in the forum than to turn a thread into a bickerfest or insult 'playground'. Insulting the individual because you don't agree with their position or their comments just doesn't work. We regularly leave warnings of that nature in threads that are reported to us, but you're right, there are many times when a thread is not reported and things do and can get out of hand.

Unfortunately, the anonymity of the internet, combined with the stress of the immigration processes, does seem to encourage some people to act in ways that they would embarrass them greatly if their families or colleagues ever discovered. Then,however, there are those others who just seem to enjoy stirring things up and then sitting back to watch the 'fun'.

I have always thought it would be such a great idea if before someone posts something, they would think about how comfortable or uncomfortable they would feel if those comments were read aloud in front of their loved ones at their funeral as a testimony to their character. It is kind of a sobering reality check.

Please continue to use the report button, and if you find yourself in a position to remind people - gently - that they don't need to be snarky or nasty in their responses to others, please continue to do so. We are all here to help each other, and that means each of us can help be responsible for keeping VJ a helpful, supportive and informative site.Don't try to police it or take matters into our own hands, however, if people continue to be snarky and rude and inappropriate. Just hit the report button instead and let us deal with it. It's why we're here..

Edited March 30, 2013 by Kathryn41

[Rebecca Jo 1,962]

I have always thought it would be such a great idea if before someone posts something, they would think about how comfortable or uncomfortable they would feel if those comments were read aloud in front of their loved ones at their funeral as a testimony to their character. It is kind of a sobering reality check.

That's taking the internet just a little too seriously.

[MedRoni 161]

That's taking the internet just a little too seriously.

For me personally, I have to disagree here. When in a forum talking to other people it really is no different then when speaking to them face face. One should have the same respect and common courtesy in both cases. I actually have used Kathryn's advise more than once to make sure I believe I do not come across wrong. It is easy to do when people cannot hear your tone or see your expressions to help with what you are saying.

[Rebecca Jo 1,962]

For me personally, I have to disagree here. When in a forum talking to other people it really is no different then when speaking to them face face. One should have the same respect and common courtesy in both cases. I actually have used Kathryn's advise more than once to make sure I believe I do not come across wrong. It is easy to do when people cannot hear your tone or see your expressions to help with what you are saying.

There's a difference between re-thinking what one has written before hitting the reply button versus translating forum posts into tombstone epithets.

Unless of course one's life revolves around their perception of their own importance on the internet.

[Krikit 1,163]

We each have our own, unique, way of approaching things, RJ. Kathryn has shared hers and you chose to judge her for it, and then put your own spin on it. That's not nice.

[Rebecca Jo 1,962]

We each have our own, unique, way of approaching things, RJ. Kathryn has shared hers and you chose to judge her for it, and then put your own spin on it. That's not nice.

"Not nice" is relative, Krikit.