Keeping Busy

[binx 0]

Hi

Most of us on the website have been waiting or starting the waiting process. Its a long and miserable wait. Often resulting in tension in the relationship, arguments, nights of loneliness, crying and just overall unhappiness.

What are some of the ways you keep from going crazy during this trail seperation from your loved one?

Please give tips and advice as it might help some others cope.

Thanks

[SAT 9,609]

go bowling? shop for moist panties from Japan?

[Azsara 110]

go bowling? shop for moist panties from Japan?

Weird....

Mostly just making sure im prepared for the NOA2, police certs, getting vaccination records, gettign vaccinated, nagging my USC to send me his stuff anything to make me feel productive

[SAT 9,609]

go bowling? shop for moist panties from Japan?

Sorry I was just being a wise azz lol...

This time of seperation is tough on everyone. I think the main distraction from this period is to NOT be distracted from it. Keep your goals clear in mind, and hang on to your loved one through your journey.

[Sam and Fen 41]

Hi

Most of us on the website have been waiting or starting the waiting process. Its a long and miserable wait. Often resulting in tension in the relationship, arguments, nights of loneliness, crying and just overall unhappiness.

What are some of the ways you keep from going crazy during this trail seperation from your loved one?

Please give tips and advice as it might help some others cope.

Thanks

Look at it this way, Pretty soon there is going to be somebody by your side telling you that everything you do is WRONG.

These are the last few months you can do what you want without any questions. So enjoy this time.

[YA 1127 6]

Hi

Most of us on the website have been waiting or starting the waiting process. Its a long and miserable wait. Often resulting in tension in the relationship, arguments, nights of loneliness, crying and just overall unhappiness.

What are some of the ways you keep from going crazy during this trail seperation from your loved one?

Please give tips and advice as it might help some others cope.

Thanks

separation is very tough and its the worst becaouse of all the damn holidays we have had xmas, new years, MLK ,and now friggin VAlentines day !!!! woppie!!!

anyways its hard on a couple for me its very hard and i cry and complain but at the end of the day my goal is to have my man here with me so this is what i do:

- we talk daily

- i been preparing for his arrival (saving $$ , buying things for him like socks etc.., organizing my files, buying deodorants for him lol , shopping for sales)

- stocking up my kitchen -when he gets here he will be home while i work for a few weeks waiting for a job.

- preparing his closet

- i been preparing my luggage for when i go to the interview lol - gotta look good for the interview!

- we talk on ovoo,skype you name it we do it

- getting all my proof in order.

AND WHEN YOUR MAD PHONE SEX WORKS!!! EVERYONE FORGETS ABOUT HOW SAD THEY ARE AND HOW UPSET THEY ARE LOL :lol:

Trust me while you wait you should be having fun cux if you dont you will loose your mind looking at grids, uscis.gov, checking emails and etc..

so take my advice try to ocupy your mind and lots of phone fun

hope this helps

[SAT 9,609]

Look at it this way, Pretty soon there is going to be somebody by your side telling you that everything you do is WRONG.

These are the last few months you can do what you want without any questions. So enjoy this time.

Great perspective...

[CaroSL 68]

Hi

Most of us on the website have been waiting or starting the waiting process. Its a long and miserable wait. Often resulting in tension in the relationship, arguments, nights of loneliness, crying and just overall unhappiness.

What are some of the ways you keep from going crazy during this trail seperation from your loved one?

Please give tips and advice as it might help some others cope.

Thanks

Are you the USC or the benificiary?

If you are the benificiary you can:

Enjoy your friends and familly while you still live with them. Never say no to a dinner invitation, call all of your friends and meet with them as often as you can, go for a tour and discover things you've always want to go see and you never did.

Try to think of what you want to do to ease your integration once in the US (want to be part of a club? etc... you can start searching for things so you look even more forward to it)

For the relationship: Talk, talk, talk. Communication is the key to any succesful relationship, but being separated, we really can't afford to let things go and miscommunicate. If you hung up the phone or skype and your fiancé(e) is upset, he/she is gonna stay that way. She/he won't miraclelously think "ok, that was stupid" because you cooked a nice dinner, smiled a lot, made jokes and made the stupid argument you had go away cause it didn't really matter. No, cause you won't be there to do that. Instead, he or she will worry about it, talk to friends who will take her/his side, make the matter bigger than it is, and still be upset next time you call (and most probably hide it, because you guys are far, and nobody wants to make it worse... so you won't have a chance to find out the problem is still there). So talk as much as you can, never assume problems are gonna desapear, express your feelings, and your fears so your significant other knows what to expect and how to react and everything. Being parted implies a fair deal of patient, self knowledge, introspection, listenning and sharing. This is all the more important in a bi-cultural relationship and with the fear of the foreign fiancé to leave her/his home country to move to the unknown.

The worst fight I ever had with my fiancé were because we kept our feelings to ourselves, could see things only through our own perspective and totally misunderstood the other person real motivation behind his actions. We were both assuming the other one didn't really care about what our own feelings were, when we just didn't even suspected those feelings existed because we had totally different perspectives.

Distance is really not an excuse for less communication, it is a nececity for more

Other than that... the wait is gonna drive you crazy. But it is ok, it does for all of us. Just remember we all survive this

[AKSinghSingh79 143]

I'm laid off right now so I sadly have lots more free time than those with full time jobs.

To kill time:

- I make it a goal to apply to at least 3-5 jobs per day.

- Prepare documents for NVC stage

- Start preparing my husband's resume for when he starts job hunting

- Gardening

- Start studying possible interview questions and going through them with my husband

- Preparing for my next trip to India

- Knitting/Crochet

- Practicing my Hindi

- Netflix!

- Reading lots and lots of book

- Experimenting with new recipes

- Cardio exercise and yoga for stress

Also, I recommend this to anyone going through the visa process. I found this site Meetup.com that allows people to join groups in order to connect with others with similar interests. They have everything from book club, to organic gardening, to language/culture clubs, and movie lovers. The most important thing is being prepared for the next step of course but also not letting this process consume you. Distracting yourself with enjoyable things is the best medicine for depression and lonliness that going through this long arduous process often brings. Try and refrain from checking the USCIS website obsessively everyday and even give yourself a break from VJ every once in a while. When you constantly see approvals from other members when you have been waiting and waiting, it makes the time go even slower.

Good luck and stay strong!

[TBoneTX 43,915]

*** Thread moved from K-1 Process forum to General Immigration Discussion -- topic isn't limited to I-129F filers. ***

Edited February 4, 2013 by TBoneTX

[Alfia & John 10]

I agree filing the time is important, the waiting is very difficult. I am not a big movie buff but have started watching movies online. I have an amazon prime account so I get to watch hundreds of movies for free (other than the cost of the account). There is also netflix and many others. Learning the language of our significant other is also excellent diversion, especially if learning is difficult for you. Time on skype and other types of communication seem to tick by the seconds faster.

If you are like me and work at your computer, watching the screen for emails is not good; best to get busy and let the time pass painlessly, well sort-of. I have three more months before we file the paperwork, so I am looking at a minimum of 13 months before she is here. I am working on my PhD, this helps a little keep my mind off the loneliness.

[evelyn1140 18]

Hi

Most of us on the website have been waiting or starting the waiting process. Its a long and miserable wait. Often resulting in tension in the relationship, arguments, nights of loneliness, crying and just overall unhappiness.

What are some of the ways you keep from going crazy during this trail seperation from your loved one?

Please give tips and advice as it might help some others cope.

Thanks

exercise

[AKSinghSingh79 143]

I agree filing the time is important, the waiting is very difficult. I am not a big movie buff but have started watching movies online. I have an amazon prime account so I get to watch hundreds of movies for free (other than the cost of the account). There is also netflix and many others. Learning the language of our significant other is also excellent diversion, especially if learning is difficult for you. Time on skype and other types of communication seem to tick by the seconds faster.

If you are like me and work at your computer, watching the screen for emails is not good; best to get busy and let the time pass painlessly, well sort-of. I have three more months before we file the paperwork, so I am looking at a minimum of 13 months before she is here. I am working on my PhD, this helps a little keep my mind off the loneliness.

I didn't know you could watch free movies with Amazon Prime. Score! I mostly got it for the fast shipping

[SAT 9,609]

I didn't know you could watch free movies with Amazon Prime. Score! I mostly got it for the fast shipping

You also get free cloud...

and I learned a little trick, if you wanna buy something from Amazon, put it in your wish list and leave it there. They will lower the price little by little until you buy it.

[AKSinghSingh79 143]

You also get free cloud...

and I learned a little trick, if you wanna buy something from Amazon, put it in your wish list and leave it there. They will lower the price little by little until you buy it.

Love it! Thanks for sharing!