Failed Marriage/Marriage Fraud Suspected

[Cathi 5,630]

It is with great sadness that I post today. I want to warn american women of the high rate of marriage fraud from Morocan men. We met on FB in 2010. I traveled to Morocco and stayed about a month. We went through this long hard process of K1 Visa. We married in May 2011 and now...... He is in jail for domestic abuse and pretrial violation. In hindsight, I see there were things I should have been more mindful of. However, I allowed my love and attraction overcome my intuition. PLEASE listen to your intuition if something doesn't feel right. I wil share my experience here in hopes that I can help prevent other women in USA to endure the heart ache, stress that comes with a marriage that is not based on love, respect honor, etc but instead is a way for a moroccan to come to the usa to work and send money back to his family. I now understand that such impoverished people do desperate things to have a better life and help improve the lives of the family living back in morocco. I will post my story shortly in hopes you bring awareness to american women who plan to marry a Moroccan man. Until I can get back here to post my story I want to leave you with this...PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LISTEN TO YOUR INTUITION AND DO WHAT EVER IT TAKES TO REALLY GET TO KNOW THE MAN WITH WHOM YOU ARE INVOLVED.

This could and does happen with men from every country on Earth.

[Boiler 43,859]

How many Consulates is so common that the Consulate needs to post a specific warning?

[Cathi 5,630]

This will be my final post about this matter and it comes straight from United States Diplomatic Missions to Morocco. This post took on a direction of its own. My only intent was to give information that I have learned from my experience and share it with others who share the same communication board I did as I moved through the K-1 process. If it does not apply to you GREAT, but if it resonates in any way then I just hope you listen to your intuition and take what your read from my post that is helpful and leave the rest.

Love and Light, Michelle

Internet Romance and Marriage Fraud

Many Americans befriend Moroccans through Internet dating and social networking sites and these relationships often lead to marriage or engagement. While many of the marriages between Americans and Moroccans are successful, the U.S. Consulate General in Casablanca warns against marriage fraud. It is not uncommon for foreign Moroccan nationals to enter into marriages with Americans solely for immigration purposes. Relationships developed via correspondence, particularly those begun on the Internet, are especially susceptible to manipulation. Often, the marriages end in divorce in the United States when the foreign national acquires legal permanent residence ("green card") or U.S. citizenship. In some cases, the new American or permanent resident then remarries a wife he divorced before, around the same time as entering into a relationship with a sponsoring American citizen.

Some of the signs that an Internet contact may be developing a relationship with an American in order to obtain an immigrant visa through marriage are:

• Declarations of love within days or weeks of the initial contact;
• Proposals or discussions of marriage soon after initial contact;
• Requests to the American to visit the foreign national's home country soon after the declaration of love or proposal;
• Responses to messages from the American friend are along the lines "I love you/Sorry I missed your call," or similarly one-sided conversations;
• Once engaged, married, or an immigrant visa petition is filed, suddenly starts missing scheduled appointments to chat or call.

While chat rooms, dating and social networking sites are great ways to make friends across international borders, the U.S. government urges Americans who meet foreign nationals on the Internet to take the time necessary to get to know them well before considering marriage and to keep in mind the signs noted above. Entering into a marriage contract for the principal purpose of facilitating immigration to the United States for an alien is against U.S. law and can result in serious penalties, including fines and imprisonment for the American citizen and the foreign national involved.

I was the perfect target. Lesson learned and I hope my experience may help another.

I do feel bad for you. When you love someone many people are blind or choose to ignore warning signs. I don't think people here should be so hard on you, we all know he could be from anywhere, the fact remains that Morocco is a high fraud country, and you had the courage to speak out, not caring what anyone thinks of you, just so you could perhaps help just one woman from the pain you are going through. Good luck to you, and I hope your husband gets what he deserves.

How many Consulates is so common that the Consulate needs to post a specific warning?

[MIBEN 83]

I am sorry for your experience but thank you for sharing it could help others...GBU

[Mithra 1,185]

I'm sorry this has happened to you. I'm so sick of these entitled sons of b!tches using women and families as a means to an end. Their parents should feel ashamed of themselves for raising such trash.

[SaharaSunset 165]

This will be my final post about this matter and it comes straight from United States Diplomatic Missions to Morocco. This post took on a direction of its own. My only intent was to give information that I have learned from my experience and share it with others who share the same communication board I did as I moved through the K-1 process. If it does not apply to you GREAT, but if it resonates in any way then I just hope you listen to your intuition and take what your read from my post that is helpful and leave the rest.

Love and Light, Michelle

Abuse is a terrible thing that no person should experience. But Marriage fraud is a separate issue. Its unfortunate the OP doesn't want to respond further because I feel like the original post is actually NOT helpful at all. And I believe she genuinely wanted to be. The post makes sweeping and negative generalizations about Moroccan men, but offers no insight as to the "red flags" she encountered, or the "intuition" she wishes she'd listened to in regard to the "fraud" part of the relationship. Those things would be productive and possibly helpful, as opposed to insulting to the many American women here happily married to good, sincere Moroccan men.

I don't mean to sound harsh, but I just don't like when people blame or stereotype an entire group, instead of blaming the individual people actually involved. Its like people saying Muslims have very "high instances" of terrorism because of the stories they've seen in the news about Muslim terrorists. Its ridiculous!

I am sorry for the pain the OP must be going through. Heartbreak and betrayal are some of the most painful experiences there are - its like dying a slow painful death, but being forced to keep living. Its terrible. I empathize. But I just think most people in love are so swooned, that generic "fraud warnings" and negative generalizations, born of personal hurt, will always fall on deaf ears and are counter-productive. That include the generic warnings of the US State Department. Specific personal instances of suspicious "fraud" behavior being described, and/or specific foreboding intuative thoughts a person had, might resonate and prove helpful. Maybe.

People are not prone to fraud because of their country of origin, or level of poverty - people are prone to fraud because of their lack of a moral compass...and that's really what all men and women should be "aware of" in any relationship....not the country their loved one comes from.

Edited December 5, 2012 by SaharaSunset

[zahrasalem 114]

I don't mean to sound harsh, but I just don't like when people blame or stereotype an entire group, instead of blaming the individual people actually involved. Its like people saying Muslims have very "high instances" of terrorism because of the stories they've seen in the news about Muslim terrorists. Its ridiculous!

I am sorry for the pain the OP must be going through. Heartbreak and betrayal are some of the most painful experiences there are - its like dying a slow painful death, but being forced to keep living. Its terrible. I empathize. But I just think most people in love are so swooned, that generic "fraud warnings" and negative generalizations, born of personal hurt, will always fall on deaf ears and are counter-productive. That include the generic warnings of the US State Department. Specific personal instances of suspicious "fraud" behavior being described, and/or specific foreboding intuative thoughts a person had, might resonate and prove helpful. Maybe.

People are not prone to fraud because of their country of origin, or level of poverty - people are prone to fraud because of their lack of a moral compass...and that's really what all men and women should be "aware of" in any relationship....not the country their loved one comes from.

well-said!!! I agree :thumbs:

[aamirpearl 47]

It is with great sadness that I post today. I want to warn american women of the high rate of marriage fraud from Morocan men. We met on FB in 2010. I traveled to Morocco and stayed about a month. We went through this long hard process of K1 Visa. We married in May 2011 and now...... He is in jail for domestic abuse and pretrial violation. In hindsight, I see there were things I should have been more mindful of. However, I allowed my love and attraction overcome my intuition. PLEASE listen to your intuition if something doesn't feel right. I wil share my experience here in hopes that I can help prevent other women in USA to endure the heart ache, stress that comes with a marriage that is not based on love, respect honor, etc but instead is a way for a moroccan to come to the usa to work and send money back to his family. I now understand that such impoverished people do desperate things to have a better life and help improve the lives of the family living back in morocco. I will post my story shortly in hopes you bring awareness to american women who plan to marry a Moroccan man. Until I can get back here to post my story I want to leave you with this...PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LISTEN TO YOUR INTUITION AND DO WHAT EVER IT TAKES TO REALLY GET TO KNOW THE MAN WITH WHOM YOU ARE INVOLVED.

Its easy for a guy to do romantic things and say sweet words and a girl would fall for the guy in a heart beat but one thing i think every girl should look out is that has your man ever cry emotional in front of you for love?? I mean not fake cry but a different kind of cry that tells that he really loves you.

[Mithra 1,185]

I fail to see how a man crying proves that he's genuine.

[Sarah Elle-Même 660]

As someone who has worked in a domestic violence shelter I can say with experience and certainty that abusive partners come in all races, nationalities, religions, ages, economic classes and genders. As for the "scamming" aspect I agree it's always important to listen to one's intuition. You can encounter unscrupulous people in every corner of the world and in every potential relationship (spouse/friend/business partner, etc). Embassies and the State Department are thorough but can only do so much - the person truly responsible for investigating the beneficiary and his or her intentions is the US petitioner. After all, it's our lives that stand to be turned upside down by moochers.

Yours is a cautionary tale that is certainly appreciated, I just think perhaps the tone of your post may have been off-putting. But given your circumstances it is understandable that you are upset. I wish you all the best in the future and that you are able to obtain the support you need to move past this.

Edit: your scamming/abusive husband does not deserve to be forgiven as you are suggesting in your username [forgivingascammer].

Edited December 5, 2012 by Sarah and Adnan

[RFQ 110]

I will force my daughter/s to read "Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men" by Lundy Bancroft, before I will let them marry. This book opened my eyes on so many levels to subtleties and patterns that I didn't use to recognize. It helped me see the faulty train of thought I had before in judging people. These abusers and users are clever. They are masters at manipulation. They may have even lied to themselves so much that they actually believe some of the bull that comes out of their mouths. Once you know what to look for though, its just about impossible to miss.

No one falls in love with the nasty side of a man/woman-- the abuser knows how to lay on the sweetness when being sweet gets him/her what he/she wants. I think that reading a book such as the one above can help you spot such a personality even from a distance relationship. Its not foolproof, and the newborn love can definitely make judgement cloudy.

[Shoot Em Straight 385]

destiny64 got it right...you got a bad egg

[Bad_Daddy 2,209]

Sorry this has happened in your life, but please stop insisting that Morocco has a higher fraud rate than any other country. My husband is not from Morocco, but generalizing about nationalities and cultures is SO wrong on so many levels.

Also please fill in your information, otherwise you can be viewed as a troll.

best wishes...

Morocco may not have the highest rate of fraud, but it's known as high risk.

Edited December 5, 2012 by Bad_Daddy

[destiny64 222]

I would still like to hear how this relationship began, I think it would be more helpful to others than just a general warning to know what events led to you filing for your k-1 , examples of his behavior when you first met , families behavior when you went to get married etc...

[destiny64 222]

Someone please tell me what is a troll when referring to it here in VJ?