Divorce Help (not sure where to post this)

[TheUndreaming 0]

Of course no need to go into details of why, but I mostly blame her for pushing me away... I am filing for divorce with my wife who is a filipina and she doesn't know of the Petition of Recognition for Foreign Divorce. Quite frankly I just learned of it too, and can't seem to find anything on the net about what documents are required to file for it (for her). I would assume my divorce certificate would be one, but am not sure, as she says she will not sign my papers unless I help her file for the Petition. I do not have the money to fly back to the Philippines to handle any of that and so I was going to just save up for this other divorce papers my attourney drew up for me, that whether she signs or not, after a certain period of time, they will go ahead with the proceedings in my favor.

But then another attourney I spoke with, that if she doesn't sign, that the process will cost a bit more as if it changed to a Contested Divorce (which the other attourney didn't mention) meaning a higher retainer fee (1st attourney = $1400, 2nd = $1500 with Uncontested). We have no children been married less than 2 years, she doesn't qualify to receive any of my military benefits, nothing is in our name other than the bank in the Philippines. I wanted to try to be civil with her, and even offered to send some money as a lump sum in favor of her being cooperative on fair terms... but she is insisting she doesn't "want to let me roam free" while she's married over there, which is when I explained the Petition to her, and that I would send her a notarized copy of the divorce certificate to file for it....

but as I go back to my question, if anyone even knows the requirements of this Petition, and/or if anyone knows how to handle this situation? 0.o

NOTE: I do know of filing divorce through military ($222.50 & 60 days after filing) but that's if she signs, has it notarized, and then sent back to me without a fuss... as it turns out I don't think I'm getting that.

Edited August 4, 2012 by TheUndreaming

[Anh map 2,098]

Divorce and move on. If she needs to do some additional paperwork that's on her isn't it?

[TheUndreaming 0]

Divorce and move on. If she needs to do some additional paperwork that's on her isn't it?

Yeah but that's not the problem right now. The problem is getting her to sign. Or saving up for the more expensive lawyers to file for the contested divorce whether she signs or not. Which is the path I'm thinking I'll have to do. But my 2nd question is if anyone knows whether or not she needs the divorce certificate to file for the Petition?

[Darnell 8,478]

you can file all yourself, not need any lawyer involvement.

Get into the county courthouse, speak to the county clerk, ask to purchase a template of the documents used for that county. MOST LIKELY, the clerk will direct you to the law library and the law librarian attached to the county courthouse.

You can do all yourself, even with a contested thing.

As for the petition she wants for the PI - all she needs is a divorce certificate with a USCitizen as the Petitioner for the divorce.

that's it.

IMO, she's trying to make a bargaining chip and she will draw out all things till she gets what she wants.

[Anh map 2,098]

Yeah but that's not the problem right now. The problem is getting her to sign. Or saving up for the more expensive lawyers to file for the contested divorce whether she signs or not. Which is the path I'm thinking I'll have to do. But my 2nd question is if anyone knows whether or not she needs the divorce certificate to file for the Petition?

If she doesn't sign, that doesn't stop the process. It just adds another layer. And it may cost a bit more. Some costs you can't avoid.

If you are initiating the divorce then let her deal with how she handles it. It's not your concern, right?

Did your wife actually get a visa and green card?

Edited August 4, 2012 by Anh map

[Ryan H 3,813]

Moved from IR-1/CR-1 Process & Procedures to Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits forum.

[TheUndreaming 0]

@Darnell:

Yeah I think she's just trying that too..

@Anh Map:

No we were still in middle of 2nd phase of CR1 visa process (with the NBI certificate and stuff). During one of our fights, I'm glad I messaged them to send back all originals to respective owners, as I was going to cancel the visa. I'm still going to write a cancellation letter and send it to them to complete the process so not to waste their time.

EDIT: Thanks Mod Ryan, sorry didn't know where to put it.

Thanks guys for the help. Yeah guess I'll just continue to file for the contested divorce :\ if it costs more so be it I guess. And Darnell yeah, the military basically lets us do it ourself. They gave me a website to print all the forms. Get her signature and notarization first, then I sign and go to them to notarize it, and submit with the fee. With them though I don't think there is a court process (just 60 day wait after filing). Not sure. Going to go back and ask about contested divorce and whether or not there will be court (+fee).

Once again thanks guys

Edited August 4, 2012 by TheUndreaming

[Sandra G. 5,051]

It depends where you live and circumstance you m ay apply to the Court for the annulment.

Edited August 4, 2012 by sandranj

[Kathryn41 3,205]

I wonder if this is something Philippines specific? I know that the Philippines do not recognize divorce between two Philippines citizens, however a foreigner married to a Philippines citizen can initiate the divorce and the Philippines government will recognize it, allowing the Philippines partner to be recognized as divorced in the Philippines and able to move on with their life. Is this what your wife is requesting of you?

Hopefully someone will have more information on what is required to obtain this certificate. The difference in cost of getting it and obtaining an uncontested divorce may still be cheaper than going through the process of a contested divorce.

Edited August 5, 2012 by Kathryn41

[Que Saudade 284]

Doesn't the military have guidance or help with obtaining your divorce? Over $1000 dollars for a divorce is a lot with no kids.....

I guess it depends on where you are though.

[Kathryn41 3,205]

I did a little bit of online research to find out more about this certificate. Interestingly, you as the foreigner cannot apply for it. Your wife has to apply for it in the Philippines after the divorce is final. Basically, it means that the Philippines Judicial system reviews the divorce, verifies that it is legal under the laws of the land in which it occurred, verified that the foreigner was the one who applied for and obtained the divorce, and then officially accepts it as a legal document in the Philippines. Since the foreign partner is not the one who gains a benefit from this recognition but only the Philippines partner, the Philippines partner is the only one who is allowed to apply for it.

Here are some links you will find useful to read over:

http://www.lawphil.n...86571_2010.html - it is a review of a specific situation involving a Canadian divorce. This is one of the conclusions drawn in the review:

In other words, only the Filipino spouse can invoke the second paragraph of Article 26 of the Family Code; the alien spouse can claim no right under this provision. The foreign divorce decree is presumptive evidence of a right that clothes the party with legal interest to petition for its recognition in this jurisdiction

http://jlp-law.com/b...divorce-decree/ explains the need for the Certificate

http://www.manilatim...-obtain-divorce - here is a useful newspaper article that explains the process and how the Philippines citizen files for the certificate.

http://www.theworldoffilipinas.com/forum/index.php?showtopic=25155 explains the process. The divorce decree needs to be authenticated by the Philippines Consulate in the US before it is presented to the Philippines court

There is more: Here is the link to my Google search page - you can read up on other links if you wish: http://www.google.co...iw=1330&bih=620

Edited August 5, 2012 by Kathryn41

[Sandra G. 5,051]

A uncontested divorce from abroad can be recognized in the Philippines. If you divorce in the USA your wife remains married in paper in her home Country, because of that in Philippines they requires the "Judicial Recognition of a Foreign Divorce".To have the divorce recognized in Philippines your wife must submit the divorce decree before the court there, and she must prove that you initiated the divorce proceedings against her. This law is just for mixed marriages.

[himher 634]

You are free to go after your divorce is final in your state.

As your attorney explained there are no papers for her to sign for you to get a divorce. You just have to file for it, wait out the waiting period, and your divorce is automatically granted.

You could at that time send an original from the court for her to use to complete her own proceedings, if you feel like it. If you dont, then you are free to move on anyway.

There is no requirement or need for you to do anything else especially complete some silly proceedings in a foreign country. Said proceedings, as was stated earlier, are her problem not yours.

Sorry to hear about your situation. Respectful nod for your service.

Of course no need to go into details of why, but I mostly blame her for pushing me away... I am filing for divorce with my wife who is a filipina and she doesn't know of the Petition of Recognition for Foreign Divorce. Quite frankly I just learned of it too, and can't seem to find anything on the net about what documents are required to file for it (for her). I would assume my divorce certificate would be one, but am not sure, as she says she will not sign my papers unless I help her file for the Petition. I do not have the money to fly back to the Philippines to handle any of that and so I was going to just save up for this other divorce papers my attourney drew up for me, that whether she signs or not, after a certain period of time, they will go ahead with the proceedings in my favor.

But then another attourney I spoke with, that if she doesn't sign, that the process will cost a bit more as if it changed to a Contested Divorce (which the other attourney didn't mention) meaning a higher retainer fee (1st attourney = $1400, 2nd = $1500 with Uncontested). We have no children been married less than 2 years, she doesn't qualify to receive any of my military benefits, nothing is in our name other than the bank in the Philippines. I wanted to try to be civil with her, and even offered to send some money as a lump sum in favor of her being cooperative on fair terms... but she is insisting she doesn't "want to let me roam free" while she's married over there, which is when I explained the Petition to her, and that I would send her a notarized copy of the divorce certificate to file for it....

but as I go back to my question, if anyone even knows the requirements of this Petition, and/or if anyone knows how to handle this situation? 0.o

NOTE: I do know of filing divorce through military ($222.50 & 60 days after filing) but that's if she signs, has it notarized, and then sent back to me without a fuss... as it turns out I don't think I'm getting that.

Edited August 5, 2012 by himher

[bobnleth 2]

Of course no need to go into details of why, but I mostly blame her for pushing me away... I am filing for divorce with my wife who is a filipina and she doesn't know of the Petition of Recognition for Foreign Divorce. Quite frankly I just learned of it too, and can't seem to find anything on the net about what documents are required to file for it (for her). I would assume my divorce certificate would be one, but am not sure, as she says she will not sign my papers unless I help her file for the Petition. I do not have the money to fly back to the Philippines to handle any of that and so I was going to just save up for this other divorce papers my attourney drew up for me, that whether she signs or not, after a certain period of time, they will go ahead with the proceedings in my favor.

But then another attourney I spoke with, that if she doesn't sign, that the process will cost a bit more as if it changed to a Contested Divorce (which the other attourney didn't mention) meaning a higher retainer fee (1st attourney = $1400, 2nd = $1500 with Uncontested). We have no children been married less than 2 years, she doesn't qualify to receive any of my military benefits, nothing is in our name other than the bank in the Philippines. I wanted to try to be civil with her, and even offered to send some money as a lump sum in favor of her being cooperative on fair terms... but she is insisting she doesn't "want to let me roam free" while she's married over there, which is when I explained the Petition to her, and that I would send her a notarized copy of the divorce certificate to file for it....

but as I go back to my question, if anyone even knows the requirements of this Petition, and/or if anyone knows how to handle this situation? 0.o

NOTE: I do know of filing divorce through military ($222.50 & 60 days after filing) but that's if she signs, has it notarized, and then sent back to me without a fuss... as it turns out I don't think I'm getting that.

Remember this so you stay out of trouble. If you are getting VHA then that goes to her. There is a formula for your portion and her portion of the VHA payments. It is still your responsibility to support her until you are divorced.

[nate and riyn 11]

i bet you guys are NEWLY WED.. AND JUST STAY OR LIVE TOGETHER... it's normal to have some few fights and misunderstanding.. you guys need to talk about some lil problem or big issues... getting married here in philippines is not a joke and it's true that we dont have a divorce here.. i dont judge anyone here.. not you neither your wife.. you have to think about the wonderful memories you had.. WHERE ARE THIS WORDS DURING THE TIME YOURE WAITING FOR YOUR VISA TO GET APPROVED?

"many wish for things this Christmas.... it is my birthday this upcoming Saturday as well as the upcoming Christmas... sad to say it but the thing I want for either of these, no one can give. I want the past to be the present. I want things to be undone to reveal a better future. I want to right my wrongs, and relive my life through the eyes of my better self.... this current path is the one I have chosen and the one I hate, and can only wish I could wish it away....

Alas no one can grant this wish of change, so I wish for nothing this birthday, I wish for nothing this Christmas. I just want my wife with me soon... I wish she can fill the gap of loneliness this entire year has brought, the loneliness my entire life has sought. She is the angel I have been waiting for, and so only she can grant my wish(es), and in return I can only hope to grant hers!"

"Still waiting on 2nd Notice from visa :/ HURRY UP DAMNIT!! The completion is so close, I want to be with my wife!"

you have to think all those wishes and pains during the time you both are eager to be together.. and waiting for the visa to arrive... there is always a solution and break ups or divorce is not a solution right away.. you both need to talk when you both calm down.. dont let the anger or evil pushes your vows split your marriage... i am very anti with the divorce... try to talk and settle things.. if things really not working out or if she really is mean.. then let go.. but dont make some decisions right away.. i guess you guys need to have a vacation .. PROBLEMS/ MISUNDERSTANDING / CONFLICTS ARE ALWAYS PART OF THE MARRIAGE... in the marriage it's not always beautiful, rainbows, or sweet.. trials always arrive to test how strong is your relationship.. i hope this will wake you up... and realize something... specially this words...

"

I miss my love more than enough, I miss what we had, it is more than rough.

I seek not solitude, nor pleasure, nor gain. Without my love, my life seem with pain. I miss her smell, her laugh, her smile. I miss the fun times we shared in awhile. I wish we could be together soon, so we could share a romantic night under the moon.

It seems so cheesy I know, but for not, this poem I show. I love my wife with so much glee, that before I had pledged, and still I give with certainty... my heart, my soul, my love I swear. For you, love, I hold so dear. You are my life, my reason for living... There is nothing in this world, other than you worth saving.

I love every moment that we share, I love every moment that we bare. I could not stand without you in this world, for I would fall part, for sure. I would see that without you, this world is never pure.

You are the angel, within my life, you are the angel, my love, my wife. And I shall forever love you...

I am yours... within Eternity.

Share · October 25, 2011 at 11:30am · "

where are this words???? DON'T ASK SOME ADVISE HERE.. it's not worthy... people give advise without even knowing what really happens..

Glenn C. Mundee

Only 3 months left till I see my wife again. I'm so excited! Counting down the days

Share · September 1, 2011 at 7:05pm via mobile ·

2 people like this.

Zeny Talaboc Puyong Yehey

September 1, 2011 at 7:16pm

Glenn C. Mundee Yay is right! I'll see ALL of you guys again. Especially mama and papa hehe. I can't wait..

September 1, 2011 at 7:18pm

Zeny Talaboc Puyong We cant w8 2 c u again glenn. Im sure ur papa and mama wil hapi also

September 1, 2011 at 7:21pm

Glenn C. Mundee ‎

September 1, 2011 at 9:25pm

Jessica Lavinia Tirrado aww .. that would be christmass right? i want to be with my husband too .. so bad

September 1, 2011 at 10:23pm

Glenn C. Mundee I'm hoping Xmas, but all depends on the visa process. May not get there till first couple weeks of January

September 2, 2011 at 1:26am

what a shame if you just file a divorce after this sweet words.......... think of it MR.