Girlfriend visiting US

[rade2rising 205]

Not everybody is suited for international travel.

lol so what is the alternative?

[Boiler 43,683]

That would be obvious.

[rade2rising 205]

well everyone has to get over stage fright at some point so maybe she can get past this as well. not even trying to come is abit crazy and sad. just hold it together woman

[Kaden 0]

I would hazard a guess from all the posts here and my own personal knowledge and experience that she will not likely be pulled into secondary - especially with ALL her evidence.

Does you fiancee suffer from anxiety or something that she takes medication for (not trying to be rude)? If she does she could get a letter from her doctor stating that she has anxiety and is prone to crying etc.

Oddly enough she has been to -many- other countries. She has traveled around a lot, but this is her first big trip by herself (No friends, family). I've told her that if she gets pulled to secondary, to be up front with the IO that she is prone to crying at the tiniest bit of stress. To my knowledge, she has never been diagnosed with anxiety, its just the way she has always dealt with stressful situations.

I really appreciate all the comments and opinions, as well. Its made me a bit more confident, but there is still a lot of worry!

Edited July 19, 2012 by Kaden

[Moomin 292]

One of the issues issues is knowing too much, IMO. It's okay to be prepared but please don't read one horror story after the other. Yes, a 20 year old traveling alone for 2 months may seem like more than a tourist however it completely depends on her situation and then the CBP officer. Hopefully her documents and her travel pattern to other countries come in handy.

"if it looks like a tourist, and smells like a tourist, it probably IS a tourist". CBP officers simply look for the signs of a person reeking of being a tourist. Have your girlfriend focus on finally meeting you and use her energy on that, and only knowing your next step if an officer won't let her enter. I had a return ticket and intl. health insurance for the duration of the US stay and that was my only proof of returning the very first time. I most likely reeked of being a happy and confused tourist(on my way to Indiana of all places)

[Kaden 0]

Oddly enough, Indiana is where she'll be going too. Not much here to be honest. I'm trying to stay positive about the whole ordeal, its just nerve wrecking. I'm hoping she'll get lucky and just get whisked through.

[Xanax 349]

You don't need to "get lucky" she has lots of proof, she is coming from a vwp country.

You're making it a much more stressful deal than it has to be. If my boyfriend was talking to me like you are talking about your fiancees situation, I may too have cried.

[RobNKharen 70]

I don't think you will have any problems with all the info she will have, so chill out. The main reason for my post is a health concern. Crying like you say she does is a prime symptom of depression. It is not a weakness or character flaw. In many cases it is simply a missing chemical in the brain which is easily treated. Many of the medications used do NOT make you a walking zombie. You take them and don't really notice you have done so, except the crying and general welfare improve.

If she does go see a medical professional, please have her advise them about her trip. The last thing you want is her getting off the plane in a stupor.......but again.....many of the meds do not have that type effect. If she has told the doctor about the trip and her angst over flying and interview, he might wrongly give her a treatment which includes a sedative effect......which you do not want given the interview.

I'm speaking from experience. I take Wellbutrin daily without a single side effect. Before I would easily get emotional about certain things, like a touching scene in a movie, or seeing a proud veteran returning home. Thoughts of suicide were a daily struggle. As a man, most people including myself just thought I was sensitive, but the plain fact was I lacked a certain chemical in my brain. This went undiagnosed for over 30 years, but the last 20 have been free of it.

For anyone seeking treatment for depression, first off DO IT NOW! If you have thoughts of suicide, step away from the computer and make an appointment ASAP. The second thing is you will probably have to try several medications until you find the one that is right for you. For example Celexa had a side effect for me personally making orgasm almost impossible. The next drug, which I don't remember the name, had the same side effect. Finally we tried Wellbutrin, which unfortunately is rather expensive compared to the others, but it has zero side effects for ME. The same might not be the case for YOU, so work it out with your doctor. Personally I'd stay away from drugs like Xanax(the pill, not the member here ) which have a sedating agent.

[Moomin 292]

Oddly enough, Indiana is where she'll be going too. Not much here to be honest. I'm trying to stay positive about the whole ordeal, its just nerve wrecking. I'm hoping she'll get lucky and just get whisked through.

Ahh come on.. There's awesome limonades at Indiana beach, and if she hasn't tried a fourwheeler/quad yet, there's loads of places to go be goofy on them. My husband almost panicked when I booked the tickets the first time. He went from knowing exactly what to do and where to go when spending time together to almost badmouthing Indiana. You'll figure something out, I'm sure.

[Darnell 8,478]

Oddly enough, Indiana is where she'll be going too. Not much here to be honest. I'm trying to stay positive about the whole ordeal, its just nerve wrecking. I'm hoping she'll get lucky and just get whisked through.

Then you don't know Indiana. You must be young, or youngish, or live your life online, never getting into an Opera House, a Massive Library, or skipped school on the days the field trips were on.

Edited July 26, 2012 by Darnell

[Darnell 8,478]

lol so what is the alternative?

Stay Home. Don't travel 8 blocks past yer personal wc.

[Eric-Pris 1,602]

I've told her that if she gets pulled to secondary, to be up front with the IO that she is prone to crying at the tiniest bit of stress.

If I were an IO that would be a very weird thing to hear. That is just not normal for a grown woman to act this way. She should really get checked out by a doctor.