Irritated with American attitudes when ending a marriage

[Olomi_811 130]

Nothing irks me more than seeing "CAN I SEND THEM BACK?" or some variation of this. I admit with all the fees you pay the immigration process can feel like modern day slave trade. Know what you want, know who you are, and know who you are marrying before you dive into visa waters. Yes, some of our significant others come from economically struggling countries and others whose countries fair far better than the US. Your spouse is not an expensive shirt that you tuck the tag in, wear for a night, and return the next day. My husband is fine where he is and it touches me to hear him pray for the betterment of his country and the people. Our spouses are perfectly capable of sustaining themselves in their home country. If you examine the circumstances the quality of life may be somewhat advanced in the US, but the quantity you pay is the same. Your spouse's life is changed as well as their family's. Some of them endure ridicule and negativity, because they married you and not a fellow countryman.

[rade2rising 205]

well what you are saying is accurate granted that the marriage was in good faith from the beginning. However, in many cases the USC realize all too late that they have been used for immigration benefits. In such cases how can you not be upset? If someone use you like trash then they most certainly deserve to be treated the same. I have NO SYMPATHY for such folks. They should be kicked out of the country immediately no questions asked. Man or Woman. Life is short get such ppl out of your life.

[trojam227 18]

wow, what provoked this one Olomi? I would hope that if any usc said that, it was in jest.

[Ryan H 3,790]

Moved from IR-1/CR-1 Process & Procedures to General Immigration-Related Discussion.

[Olomi_811 130]

People don't "just become" manipulative or scheming for immigration processes. They give you cues along the way and either you are clueless or you chose to ignore what they are saying. It's a case of "what did they say/do" vs. "what did you hear or see/ what did you want to hear/see".

Ty Ryan...posting from phone and couldn't get to that forum.

[X Factor 1,110]

People don't "just become" manipulative or scheming for immigration processes. They give you cues along the way and either you are clueless or you chose to ignore what they are saying. It's a case of "what did they say/do" vs. "what did you hear or see/ what did you want to hear/see".

Ty Ryan...posting from phone and couldn't get to that forum.

Very true. Some are very good manipulaters.

[MyJourney1 15]

well what you are saying is accurate granted that the marriage was in good faith from the beginning. However, in many cases the USC realize all too late that they have been used for immigration benefits. In such cases how can you not be upset? If someone use you like trash then they most certainly deserve to be treated the same. I have NO SYMPATHY for such folks. They should be kicked out of the country immediately no questions asked. Man or Woman. Life is short get such ppl out of your life.

Yes because, not only have the US Citizen sacrificed their time and money, of which is not cheap, but they've also sacrificed their "Heart". When you love someone, you are dedicating your heart; entrusting this person with it. So, when a US Citizen puts his/her "All" into bring the love of their life to the USA; just to find out their foreign spouse used them, that's not only a waste of time, but it's also a waste of their "Precious Heart". That is very "heart-breaking" in the worse way ever to be used by someone with another "Agenda" after you have given your heart too them completely.

Edited April 15, 2012 by MyJourney1

[patient2010 93]

There is no possible way to know someone 100% even if they live in the same country you can be married a million years and find a million new things about your spouse each year. My mom both USC have been married for 63yrs and she still say she is learning my dad....so in my opinion you only know what the person has shown u and to be honest sometimes there are no indicators of scammers....its there profession they are good at it.....Just my thoughts

[Truelove6 5]

There is no possible way to know someone 100% even if they live in the same country you can be married a million years and find a million new things about your spouse each year. My mom both USC have been married for 63yrs and she still say she is learning my dad....so in my opinion you only know what the person has shown u and to be honest sometimes there are no indicators of scammers....its there profession they are good at it.....Just my thoughts

wow...i cant stand liar from afar...your heart is the most pecious gift GOD gave you and when someone manipulates you for their own greed..throw them away..in the trash for all i care! yes when u find out that u have bees used and its not true love u have all sorts of emotions...so if one of those emotions are to "send him back" thats just how u feel!

[Inky 1,110]

wow, what provoked this one Olomi? I would hope that if any usc said that, it was in jest.

If you look in the effects of major changes forums you will see many frequent posts from people asking if they can send their new spouse / fiance(e) back to their country for various reasons.

[pddp 240]

Yes because, not only have the US Citizen sacrificed their time and money, of which is not cheap, but they've also sacrificed their "Heart". When you love someone, you are dedicating your heart; entrusting this person with it. So, when a US Citizen puts his/her "All" into bring the love of their life to the USA; just to find out their foreign spouse used them, that's not only a waste of time, but it's also a waste of their "Precious Heart". That is very "heart-breaking" in the worse way ever to be used by someone with another "Agenda" after you have given your heart too them completely.

What about the "Precious Heart" of the foreign spouse who comes here having given his/her "Precious Heart" to a USC, only to be viewed as a potential fraud and scam artist every step of the way during the ENDLESS immigration process?

[Peter_Pan 661]

@pddp I like you.

And yes, it annoys me to no end to see the "return them for faulty components" attitude (I did read a lot of the break-up stories, and that seemed to be a recurring question). Either the American feel entitled "I've saved you from a 3rd world country", or it is the classical spite for an ex.

And lo and behold, I got that one served to me yesterday.

[trojam227 18]

@pddp I like you.

And yes, it annoys me to no end to see the "return them for faulty components" attitude (I did read a lot of the break-up stories, and that seemed to be a recurring question). Either the American feel entitled "I've saved you from a 3rd world country", or it is the classical spite for an ex.

And lo and behold, I got that one served to me yesterday.

I would have to say it's probably more "spite for the ex". No person with any brain cell is going to go through this process unless they really, really care about someone. Unless the usc is getting paid and doing it illegally and I would doubt they give a squat enough to put a post up about it. If my husband did that to me, I'd be saying a heck of a lot more than "can i send him back?" lol Broken hearts say crazy things sometimes..us americans aren't so bad.

[pddp 240]

@pddp I like you.

And yes, it annoys me to no end to see the "return them for faulty components" attitude (I did read a lot of the break-up stories, and that seemed to be a recurring question). Either the American feel entitled "I've saved you from a 3rd world country", or it is the classical spite for an ex.

And lo and behold, I got that one served to me yesterday.

Hey Peter Pan, good to see you! Hope you're doing well..

[pddp 240]

No person with any brain cell is going to go through this process unless they really, really care about someone.

Exactly! Unfortunately that's not what the USCIS seems to think however...