Irritated with American attitudes when ending a marriage

[Confused 2 94]

People don't "just become" manipulative or scheming for immigration processes. They give you cues along the way and either you are clueless or you chose to ignore what they are saying. It's a case of "what did they say/do" vs. "what did you hear or see/ what did you want to hear/see".

Ty Ryan...posting from phone and couldn't get to that forum.

It is not about the ex-spouse being a foreigner as much as it is about a relationship gone bad for whatever reasons and the foreign spouse also trying to milk the most out of his/her american spouse. It works both ways. The foreigner left his/her country and so expects a handsome compensation for that + the I-864 that is like a noose around the American ex-spouse. There are 100s of horror stories about Americans being conned and believe it or not that can scare anyone going through a divorce.

People DO see and hear what they want to, it is human nature. Memories, truth etc etc DOES get bent according to whose memories and truth it is. There is nothing simple about it. You are saying that a person who feels taken advantage of should not even be able to voice his/her fears and frustrations. Human mind, heart and feelings do not work that way.

[Kiv 32]

Maybe I do not keep track good enough on VJ but I don't think I have seen as many treads saying "I finally sent him/her back" as I read "I want to send him/her back".

People write here when hurt or angry, but that does not mean they have the power to do as they say.

The best would be that each petitioner really think before getting married; if they love that person so much that they won't care if the beneficiary keeps the benefit of the immigration even if the marriage does not work. They may learn about the honesty of their own intentions and/or save themselves and their SO so much pain.

[jojolicious 38]

Thank you OP for this topic because it definitely irks me too when certain USCs have that kind of attitude when relationships fail.

When I came to the US I was in awe of the return/exchange store policies. The fact that people could/would keep items for 30, 60, 90 days and then return them with or without receipts was so strange to me. What I realised is that some USCs (not all) were raised believing that once you are dissatisfied with something you just return it and so they apply this belief system to their love lives as well. I have never returned anything in my home country, I'm not even sure if it's possible and I've only returned one item so far since I've been in the US and it felt very awkward to me lol.

The same USCs who would wish to send their foreign spouses back to their home countries would never even be able to send a USC spouse to a different city, neighbourhood or even house if the marriage failed. SMH

I must say though that a lot of valid points were made in support of and in opposition to this topic. It was very interesting to read.