No children allowed wedding, how do you tackle this?

[Penguin_ie 5,986]

Having childcare nearby is a great idea. It will also help those moms whose babies are still nursing, they can just pop out to nurse the child and come back. I have been to a couple of weddings where childcare was provided nearby/ in the same hotel and it worked out great, especially when we had to travel for the wedding, as I would have stayed home otherwise (3 days of babysitter at home or unknown babysitter at hotel are not an option for me). However, I think you will still have a problem with teenagers that do not want to be babysat or that parents "assume" are not kids and thus can come. Naming specific guests on the invite, and passing the words via your parents/ close relatives should help.

[Darnell 8,478]

teenagers? aha

rent a suite, have some adult chaperones there who will never attend the reception,

stocked up with video game consoles and games, and music systems

or

is in nyc? find the 'private evening tours' at a museum, force them to go from 4 pm to 3 am.

you pick.

[Rebecca Jo 1,962]

Your paying for it. You don't have to have anyone there you don't want.

I'd put something like "no children please" on the RSVP for the reception. They can't miss it that way.

[Usui Takumi 1,562]

So, we're not inviting, let alone allowing, anyone under 21 years old to come to our reception. My friends completely understand the "no children" policy given that alcohol will be served in copious amounts which will trigger interesting behavior from my reggae band members and other guests. To that, add the beach; the last thing I need is a child under little supervision jump into the water! The truth is, this is an adult's event. We want a lounge-like event where we can smoke "Habana cigars," drink our piña coladas and hide from the stupid reporters trying to get a piece of news from some of my guests (that's another story).

Is it far-fetched to define a minimum age requirement for the reception? If it isn't, how do I tackle this without being...... unorthodox?

Thank you

I'm surprised u don't have young relatives. I guess the under 21 thing is ok if you are trying to ban friend's kids but if I was your relative and I had kids I probably wouldn't come.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

I am constantly surprised that people always turn weddings and other events into something about THEM. "If my kids can't come then I'm not!". It's ridiculous and childish. You don't want kids that's up to you. It's your event.

I told my MIL that she couldn't take photos the same time the professional was because it confuses people and they look at the wrong camera. She said "I may as well not come then!". My SIL was travelling from another state and wouldn't have time to see all her friends so she wanted some invited to the wedding (in the end she invited them to the pub that was attached and then told them they could come in and eat). The other SIL said she should be able to have at least ONE friend there (we let her and said friend couldn't come). I should mention of the 100 or so people that rocked up, TWO were my family.

This is about you guys. People will probably be upset but they're selfish people you don't want to attend if they're a baby (pun not intended ) about it. They have no say in the guest list and it's ridiculous that they think they should.

Edited January 7, 2012 by Vanessa&Tony

[david'sgirl 134]

I understand the "need/feeling" about being polite.

So add "Respectfully" or "With Apologies" before being blunt as a post.

Pu$$y footing around always leads to someone ignoring you and bending the "rules" then you are stuck with some kid at your reception that you didn't want some kid at.

I agree.

I don't think you need to apologize though. Afterall,it is your wedding so it should be about what you want.

Parents should be able to get thier own babysitter as they would for any other social occassion or meal. I dont see why you should have to pay for that as well as the reception.

[NY_BX 397]

I'm surprised u don't have young relatives. I guess the under 21 thing is ok if you are trying to ban friend's kids but if I was your relative and I had kids I probably wouldn't come.

I do. That's why I don't want them there. They're young and I will have a "cigar rolling show." So alcohol won't be the only substance served....

[NY_BX 397]

I am constantly surprised that people always turn weddings and other events into something about THEM. "If my kids can't come then I'm not!". It's ridiculous and childish. You don't want kids that's up to you. It's your event.

I told my MIL that she couldn't take photos the same time the professional was because it confuses people and they look at the wrong camera. She said "I may as well not come then!". My SIL was travelling from another state and wouldn't have time to see all her friends so she wanted some invited to the wedding (in the end she invited them to the pub that was attached and then told them they could come in and eat). The other SIL said she should be able to have at least ONE friend there (we let her and said friend couldn't come). I should mention of the 100 or so people that rocked up, TWO were my family.

This is about you guys. People will probably be upset but they're selfish people you don't want to attend if they're a baby (pun not intended ) about it. They have no say in the guest list and it's ridiculous that they think they should.

My uncle's wife just invited herself through facebook and told me about her grandaughter's flower-girl skills. She actually posted on my wall- "when's the wedding, I gotta check my calendar." I told her she was not invited because I can't careless about her (long story) and that no kids are allowed. She then went to my father (her husbands brother) and complained. My dad called me. I sent an abbraisive/ sarcastic email, with a copy to my dad: "again, you're not invited and no, no flower girl unless she's over 21 and loves to be topless at the beach." If you think this is rude, guess what my mom said? HA! "I'm paying for this event. You're not invited. We do not like you. Do not show up. If you can't understand that, then shoot yourself in that brainless head of yours."

She blocked us from facebook.

That said, reading about your family situation, I guess mine is not that bad.

Edited January 7, 2012 by NY_BX

[Usui Takumi 1,562]

I am constantly surprised that people always turn weddings and other events into something about THEM. "If my kids can't come then I'm not!". It's ridiculous and childish. You don't want kids that's up to you. It's your event.

Of course I wouldn't declare it as a threat like you mentioned, its their event and its their choice. Likewise its my choice to come.

I do. That's why I don't want them there. They're young and I will have a "cigar rolling show." So alcohol won't be the only substance served....

I also noted you said reception only which does make sense to me, I assume children are at the wedding then.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

Of course I wouldn't declare it as a threat like you mentioned, its their event and its their choice. Likewise its my choice to come.

Whether you declare it as a threat or not, failing to come because you don't like that your child isn't invited would be not going in protest. If you couldn't afford childcare that's different but the person who's wedding you're going to is paying for your food (typically) and your entertainment. If you're close you'll suck up the cost of childcare to support your family member/friend, if you're not they won't mind not having to fork out the money to pay for your food and entertainment. The child not being invited wouldn't be a thought outside of "I should find out who can babysit for me that day".

[Usui Takumi 1,562]

Whether you declare it as a threat or not, failing to come because you don't like that your child isn't invited would be not going in protest. If you couldn't afford childcare that's different but the person who's wedding you're going to is paying for your food (typically) and your entertainment. If you're close you'll suck up the cost of childcare to support your family member/friend, if you're not they won't mind not having to fork out the money to pay for your food and entertainment. The child not being invited wouldn't be a thought outside of "I should find out who can babysit for me that day".

So what? Does it really matter? At the end of the day its your choice and its my choice.

Edited January 8, 2012 by Sousuke

[NY_BX 397]

I also noted you said reception only which does make sense to me, I assume children are at the wedding then.

No children at the wedding either. This is an adults-only event.

[NY_BX 397]

So what? Does it really matter? At the end of the day its your choice and its my choice.

I agree. That's why I'm NOT paying for childcare. I took all the suggestions into consideration and consulted with my fiance. We came to the conclusion that we will invite only adults and that's it. You can't come? too bad. I still want to roll & smoke, drink and dance and have my marriage officiant rap the ceremony (yes, you read right).

[Amby 490]

I agree. That's why I'm NOT paying for childcare. I took all the suggestions into consideration and consulted with my fiance. We came to the conclusion that we will invite only adults and that's it. You can't come? too bad. I still want to roll & smoke, drink and dance and have my marriage officiant rap the ceremony (yes, you read right).

Sounds fun! Have a blast!

[Rebecca Jo 1,962]

hahahaha

It doesn't sound like you or your mother have a problem with telling people exactly how you feel. So I don't understand why you came here asking us whether or not we thought a "childless" wedding/reception is "unorthodox".

Maybe you just wanted to test the reaction?

If so, I think you got what you came for. Now go have a lovely time and continue to do it your way - just skip the drama you say you don't want.