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saturn5man

A little religious HUMOUR for a change ;)

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A highly successful executive woman was tragically hit by a bus and died.

Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was met at the pearly gates by St. Peter himself. "Welcome to Heaven," said St. Peter. "Before you get settled in though, it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we've never once had an executive make it this far, and we're not really sure what to do with you."

"No problem, just let me in." said the woman.

"Well, I'd like to, but I have higher orders. What we're going to do is let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose whichever one you want, to spend an eternity in."

"Actually, I think I've made up my mind; I prefer to stay in Heaven", said the woman.

"Sorry, we have rules..."

And with that, St. Peter put the executive in an elevator and it went down-down-down to hell.

The doors opened and she found herself stepping out onto the putting green of a beautiful golf course. In the distance was a country club and standing in front of her were all her friends - fellow executives whom she had worked with, and they were all dressed in evening gowns and cheering for her.

They ran up and kissed her on both cheeks and they talked about old times. They played an excellent round of golf and at night went to the country club where she enjoyed an excellent steak and lobster dinner.

She met the Devil who was actually a really nice guy (kind of cute) and she had a great time telling jokes and dancing. She was having such a good time that before she knew it, it was time to leave. Everybody shook her hand and waved good bye as she got on the elevator. The elevator went up-up-up and opened back up at the Pearly Gates and she found St. Peter waiting for her.

"Now it's time to spend a day in Heaven," he said. So she spent the next 24 hours lounging around on clouds and playing the harp and singing. She had a great time and before she knew it her 24 hours were up and St. Peter came and got her.

"So, you've spent a day in Hell and you've spent a day in Heaven. Now you must choose your eternity," he said.

The woman paused for a second and then replied, "Well, I never thought I'd say this, I mean, Heaven has been really great and all, but I think I had a better time in Hell."

So St. Peter escorted her to the elevator and again she went down-down-down, back to Hell. When the doors of the elevator opened she found herself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth.

She saw her friends were dressed in rags and were picking up the garbage and putting it in sacks. The Devil came up to her and put his arm around her.

"I don't understand," stammered the woman, "yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a country club and we ate lobster and we danced and had a great time. Now all there is, is a wasteland of garbage and all my friends look miserable."

The Devil looked at her and smiled. "Yesterday we were recruiting you. Today, you're STAFF.


Neil (Preston, England) & Eva (North Carolina, USA)

27 September 2003 Church Wedding, England.

8 October 2004 -INTERVIEW---VISA GRANTED !!!

(Intervening time covered in VJ -Timeline Section)

10 Dec 2004 - Saturn finally came out of orbit and landed in NC !

(Check timeline for intervening period)

8th February 2006 - 'GREEN CARD' FINALLY GRANTED AT INTERVIEW IN CHARLOTTE, NC.

5th Wedding Anniversary due later this year, on 27th September 2008 - How time flies !

I am not a Lawyer and have never wanted or professed to be one. The views and comments I may express here are entirely my own and without any intended legal standing.

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Hehehe, this has always been one of my favourites. The first time I heard it, it was with a politician instead of an executive, and the punch line was 'Yesterday, we were still campaigning; today, we've got your vote".


“...Isn't it splendid to think of all the things there are to find out about? It just makes me feel glad to be alive--it's such an interesting world. It wouldn't be half so interesting if we knew all about everything, would it? There'd be no scope for imagination then, would there?”

. Lucy Maude Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables

5892822976_477b1a77f7_z.jpg

Another Member of the VJ Fluffy Kitty Posse!

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:lol:

Wow ! Only 55 views and 2 posts in almost 5 hours ?

If I had said M*slim or Ch*istian in the title there would be page after page of comments by now. Strange....

I guess religious humour/humor is dead. Shame that.....

Ah well.....Neil.


Neil (Preston, England) & Eva (North Carolina, USA)

27 September 2003 Church Wedding, England.

8 October 2004 -INTERVIEW---VISA GRANTED !!!

(Intervening time covered in VJ -Timeline Section)

10 Dec 2004 - Saturn finally came out of orbit and landed in NC !

(Check timeline for intervening period)

8th February 2006 - 'GREEN CARD' FINALLY GRANTED AT INTERVIEW IN CHARLOTTE, NC.

5th Wedding Anniversary due later this year, on 27th September 2008 - How time flies !

I am not a Lawyer and have never wanted or professed to be one. The views and comments I may express here are entirely my own and without any intended legal standing.

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thanks Neil for the laugh! :lol::thumbs:


Co-Founder of VJ Fluffy Kitty Posse -
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31 Dec 2003 MARRIED
26 Jan 2004 Filed I130; 23 May 2005 Received Visa
30 Jun 2005 Arrived at Chicago POE
02 Apr 2007 Filed I751; 22 May 2008 Received 10-yr green card
14 Jul 2012 Citizenship Oath Ceremony

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*making mental notes so if ever offered such choice* :whistle::innocent:

Daniel

:energetic:


Ana (Mexico) ------ Daniel (California)(me)

---------------------------------------------

Sept. 11, 2004: Got married (civil), in Mexico :D

July 23, 2005: Church wedding

===============================

K3(I-129F):

Oct. 28, 2004: Mailed I-129F.

~USPS, First-Class, Certified Mail, Rtn Recpt ($5.80)

Nov. 3, 2004: NOA1!!!!

Nov. 5, 2004: Check Cashed!!

zzzz deep hibernationn zzzz

May 12, 2005 NOA2!!!! #######!!! huh???

off to NVC.

May 26, 2005: NVC approves I129F.

CR1(I-130):

Oct. 6, 2004: Mailed I-130.

~USPS, First-Class, Certified Mail, Rtn Recpt ($5.80)

Oct. 8, 2004: I-130 Delivered to CSC in Laguna Niguel.

~Per USPS website's tracking tool.

Oct. 12, 2004 BCIS-CSC Signs for I-130 packet.

Oct. 21, 2004 Check cashed!

Oct. 25, 2004 NOA1 (I-130) Go CSC!!

Jan. 05, 2005 Approved!!!! Off to NVC!!!!

===============================

NVC:

Jan. 05, 2005 ---> in route from CSC

Jan. 12, 2005 Case entered system

Jan. 29, 2005 Received I-864 Bill

Jan. 31, 2005 Sent Payment to St. Louis(I864)

Feb. 01, 2005 Wife received DS3032(Choice of Agent)

Feb. 05, 2005 Payment Received in St. Louis(I864)

Feb. 08, 2005 Sent DS3032 to Portsmouth NH

Feb. 12, 2005 DS3032 Received by NVC

Mar. 04, 2005 Received IV Bill

Mar. 04, 2005 Sent IV Bill Payment

Mar. 08, 2005 Received I864

Mar. 19, 2005 Sent I864

Mar. 21, 2005 I864 Received my NVC

Apr. 18, 2005 Received DS230

Apr. 19, 2005 Sent DS230

Apr. 20, 2005 DS230 received by NVC (signed by S Merfeld)

Apr. 22, 2005 DS230 entered NVC system

Apr. 27, 2005 CASE COMPLETE

May 10, 2005 CASE SENT TO JUAREZ

Off to Cd. Juarez! :D

calls to NVC: 6

===============================

CIUDAD JUAREZ, American Consulate:

Apr. 27, 2005 case completed at NVC.

May 10, 2005 in route to Juarez.

May 25, 2005 Case at consulate.

===============================

-- Legal Disclaimer:What I say is only a reflection of what I did, going to do, or may do; it may also reflect what I have read others did, are going to do, or may do. What you do or may do is what you do or may do. You do so or may do so strictly out of your on voilition; or follow what a lawyer advised you to do, or may do. Having said that: have a nice day!

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I heard this joke different. The punchline was "Coffee break's over, back on your heads".


Me -.us Her -.ma

------------------------

I-129F NOA1: 8 Dec 2003

Interview Date: 13 July 2004 Approved!

US Arrival: 04 Oct 2004 We're here!

Wedding: 15 November 2004, Maui

AOS & EAD Sent: 23 Dec 2004

AOS approved!: 12 July 2005

Residency card received!: 4 Aug 2005

I-751 NOA1 dated 02 May 2007

I-751 biometrics appt. 29 May 2007

10 year green card received! 11 June 2007

Our son Michael is born!: 18 Aug 2007

Apply for US Citizenship: 14 July 2008

N-400 NOA1: 15 July 2008

Check cashed: 17 July 2008

Our son Michael is one year old!: 18 Aug 2008

N-400 biometrics: 19 Aug 2008

N-400 interview: 18 Nov 2008 Passed!

Our daughter Emmy is born!: 23 Dec 2008

Oath ceremony: 29 Jan 2009 Complete! Woo-hoo no more USCIS!

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I heard this joke different. The punchline was "Coffee break's over, back on your heads".

same here


Peace to All creatures great and small............................................

But when we turn to the Hebrew literature, we do not find such jokes about the donkey. Rather the animal is known for its strength and its loyalty to its master (Genesis 49:14; Numbers 22:30).

Peppi_drinking_beer.jpg

my burro, bosco ..enjoying a beer in almaty

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.ph...st&id=10835

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If I had said M*slim or Ch*istian in the title there would be page after page of comments by now. Strange....

But you DIDN'T so it's just not as much fun!!!

I thought it was funny............... :lol:

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I never know what to say after reading a joke so often I dont say anything

I saw, I read, I LOLed.....

Now THAT'S funny :D hehehe


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21ch82r.gif

"In our attempt to make everybody happy, we make nobody happy. And we lose elections." - Democratic activist Janice Griffin

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Yesterday we were recruiting... now your staff... isn't that the truth to the job market... once they get you reeled in and the papers signed it's hell...

When you are expecting a change.


7-3-06 GREEN CARD ARRIVES IN MAIL!!!! Done for two years!!!!!!

I am here to help, even if it's just to offer my shoulder to cry or vent on... We are all in this together.!

My answers are based on personal experience, not fact.

We are on this rollercoaster ride together holding on for dear life.

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