physical abuse

[Maju 3]

My wife and I have a friend who got married 8 or 9 months ago. She filed for her green card and going thought the waiting period now. Her family thinks the guy my be physically abusing her. Marks have been seen on her body. The guy also has a very controlling personality. Obviously she needs to leave the guy no matter what. But knowing her she's probably afraid to. What he my do.. failed marriage... And being made to leave the U.S.. I know if marriage is ended she won't get card. but when I was doing the paper work for my wife I think I remember reading something about an exception for abuse. Do I remember correctly? It's been a while since I did my wife papers.

[MasNaz 7]

She should leave him...she will still be allowed to remain in the US legally...as long as she can prove that her marriage was legal and not done for immigration purposes....she should still try to save herself...her life is worth more than a green card anyway

[mounir412 101]

She should leave him...she will still be allowed to remain in the US legally...as long as she can prove that her marriage was legal and not done for immigration purposes....she should still try to save herself...her life is worth more than a green card anyway

i totally agree with you

[Ravens 8]

I actually have a problem with this.

First I do not support anyone beating their wives. I do not want I am writting to make others think that.

What I am having a problem with is why would she want to stay?

I have seen many cases of fake abuse claimed in order to get a green card. My problem is she wants to stay. If she has an abusive husband then she should leave and go home.If he truly is abusive does she think moving to a new address here would make it stop? If he was this person she is claiming then he may even be more angry thinking she used him for a green card. I think that would put her in more danger.

When someone is so determined to stay and who has not been here long enough to build a life it seems fishy to me and I have seen several USC get screwed over by fake alligations of abuse because someone used them to get a green card.

If she is truly being abused it is obvious she needs to get away. But what is the desperation to stay? That part makes me think she married to get a green card to begin with.

[TBoneTX 43,284]

If marks have been seen on her body, she's probably not putting them there herself, and her family thinks that she's being mistreated, which means that she's been telling them what's going on.

If she gets her green card soon, it's possible that she can divorce and apply to remove conditions herself, assuming that the marriage was entered into on a good-faith basis. We need more information, really.

Her safety is the #1 priority, so help her with that first.

Edited to ask: If she's waiting on her green card, did she enter on a K-1 visa and it's the first (2-year) card for which she's applied?

Edited August 20, 2011 by TBoneTX

[Maju 3]

My wife has know her for almost her whole life. This girl has made bad chooses in boyfriends before. One reason for not wanting to go home to her country is that she grew up in an abusive house. The aunts(who live in the U.S. too) suspects abuse, she denies it. I just want to find out if she can stay after she would leave him, so she has one less reason to stay with him. I think she married for love (or for what she thinks is love). She just makes bad chooses. She has low self-esteem stem.

She's being living in the U.S. for years going to school.

[Glyn and Kathy 288]

I actually have a problem with this.

First I do not support anyone beating their wives. I do not want I am writting to make others think that.

What I am having a problem with is why would she want to stay?

I have seen many cases of fake abuse claimed in order to get a green card. My problem is she wants to stay. If she has an abusive husband then she should leave and go home.If he truly is abusive does she think moving to a new address here would make it stop? If he was this person she is claiming then he may even be more angry thinking she used him for a green card. I think that would put her in more danger.

When someone is so determined to stay and who has not been here long enough to build a life it seems fishy to me and I have seen several USC get screwed over by fake alligations of abuse because someone used them to get a green card.

If she is truly being abused it is obvious she needs to get away. But what is the desperation to stay? That part makes me think she married to get a green card to begin with.

I don't think you should make assumptions about people like that. Maybe she wants to stay because she has nothing to go back to? Maybe she left her whole life behind and burned bridges? Being the immigrant and leaving your whole world behind is a scary thing....and going back because it didn't work out could make someone feel embarrassed. Don't judge someone you don't know...you're not in their shoes.

[pushbrk 12,155]

My wife has know her for almost her whole life. This girl has made bad chooses in boyfriends before. One reason for not wanting to go home to her country is that she grew up in an abusive house. The aunts(who live in the U.S. too) suspects abuse, she denies it. I just want to find out if she can stay after she would leave him, so she has one less reason to stay with him. I think she married for love (or for what she thinks is love). She just makes bad chooses. She has low self-esteem stem.

She's being living in the U.S. for years going to school.

So she was here on a student visa, married and filed to adjust her status? If so, they'll go to an interview together prior to any green card. If she needs to leave, there's not likely to be a green card. She needs competent legal assistance in this matter.

[~happyndinlove~ 540]

I don't think you should make assumptions about people like that. Maybe she wants to stay because she has nothing to go back to? Maybe she left her whole life behind and burned bridges? Being the immigrant and leaving your whole world behind is a scary thing....and going back because it didn't work out could make someone feel embarrassed. Don't judge someone you don't know...you're not in their shoes.

Agreed.

[Maju 3]

So she was here on a student visa, married and filed to adjust her status? If so, they'll go to an interview together prior to any green card. If she needs to leave, there's not likely to be a green card. She needs competent legal assistance in this matter.

Thank you !!

[MrsP2010 20]

I don't think you should make assumptions about people like that. Maybe she wants to stay because she has nothing to go back to? Maybe she left her whole life behind and burned bridges? Being the immigrant and leaving your whole world behind is a scary thing....and going back because it didn't work out could make someone feel embarrassed. Don't judge someone you don't know...you're not in their shoes.

I couldn't agree more. As the beneficiary, I notice that people expect you to only want to immigrate because of your husband, but for me it's also the whole world I've already got there. I've been visiting/living with hubs since 2008, and over that time I've not only met some of my best friends out there, but I've also said goodbye to a permanent life in the UK. I couldn't even think about living here permanently anymore, no matter what happened between us.

[Amanda and Josh 12]

I actually have a problem with this.

First I do not support anyone beating their wives. I do not want I am writting to make others think that.

What I am having a problem with is why would she want to stay?

I have seen many cases of fake abuse claimed in order to get a green card. My problem is she wants to stay. If she has an abusive husband then she should leave and go home.If he truly is abusive does she think moving to a new address here would make it stop? If he was this person she is claiming then he may even be more angry thinking she used him for a green card. I think that would put her in more danger.

When someone is so determined to stay and who has not been here long enough to build a life it seems fishy to me and I have seen several USC get screwed over by fake alligations of abuse because someone used them to get a green card.

If she is truly being abused it is obvious she needs to get away. But what is the desperation to stay? That part makes me think she married to get a green card to begin with.

People stay in violent relationships for a whole lot of reasons, it's not unique to immigrants. The cycle of domestic violence is a very hard one for the person it to recognise and to then get out of. I don't think it is up to any of us to judge somebody for not "getting out".