Ex-Spouse Permission Problem and Question

[LHALL 0]

This may have been addressed before but I can't find it by searching. I try the words "Jerk" and "Idiot" but nothing comes up.

The good news is that my fiancé just received her K1 Visa! She has two sons -- 7 and 12 -- that we want them to live with us in the States. She contacted her ex-husband through a friend-of-a-friend and he refuses to sign to acknowledge and says he never wants to be contacted again. Now you know why I used my previous search words.

Here are some extenuating facts:

Ex-husband left my fiancé 8 years ago to marry another woman.

My fiancé has sole custody from the court.

Ex-husband has never seen his second son and never saw his oldest since he was 4.

Ex-husband has never contributed a dime for their support nor has he made any contact since he left.

Even his own parents disowned him and have no relationship with him.

I'm not sure why he refuses to acknowledge his son's emigration to America. He may just want to avoid contact or maybe he just likes being a jerk -- but it's down to those choices. It certainly isn't because he cares and/or fears for his son's welfare.

Is their an approved process to waive the spousal acknowledgment in this sort of case? Do we have any options?

Thanks

Edited March 27, 2011 by LHALL

[VanessaTony 3,567]

She has sole custody from the court, I was under the impression that was all she required.

This one here: http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/275703-child-custody-issue-k2-in-juarez-mexico/page__view__findpost__p__4203235 says that the order also stated something about where the child could live (have you considered that option?)

A friend of mine was going to go to the court to get the court stuff about it.

This one: http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/285879-trying-to-bring-my-fiance-and-her-2-children-to-the-us/page__view__findpost__p__4333820 also just says "sole custody" is all that's required.. OR letter from father

This one: http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/285879-trying-to-bring-my-fiance-and-her-2-children-to-the-us/page__view__findpost__p__4334202 says it depends on the consulate and that the interview letter will tell you.

This one: http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/194911-k2-visa-question/page__view__findpost__p__2930956 actually states it from the Canadian website that a sole custody order is all that's needed (I know you're not from Canada but ah well)

[brian and aileen 14]

hello, i don't think she still need to contact him anymore, i have the same situation, I have the sole custody of my 3 kids after my annulment was done and i didn't need for their father to sign any acknowledgement. If its the father who will travel with children then that's the time he needs "mother consent" .

[brian and aileen 14]

by the way, I didn't know if the law there in Thailand is the same here in the Philippines.

[LHALL 0]

Thanks.

The Thai Embassy saw the sole custody order. It's good enough for the Thai's to grant passports, but the Embassy still wants the signature.

We are going to try to contact the father through an attorney. We will offer him 1 month's salary to come to the attorney's office, sign the acknowledgment, provide a photo ID, and certify through the local court. This way he can make a little cash and not have to face his former family.

If he says "no" to this then he's a jerk and we'll have to look at other options.

[pushbrk 12,182]

Thanks.

The Thai Embassy saw the sole custody order. It's good enough for the Thai's to grant passports, but the Embassy still wants the signature.

We are going to try to contact the father through an attorney. We will offer him 1 month's salary to come to the attorney's office, sign the acknowledgment, provide a photo ID, and certify through the local court. This way he can make a little cash and not have to face his former family.

If he says "no" to this then he's a jerk and we'll have to look at other options.

Hopefully that will work. Other posters would be well advised to understand this kind of question requires a country specific answer. What it is elsewhere is NOT what it is everywhere. Your specific question can be asked directly to the Consulate by email. That's where any answer about alternatives to the signed statement must come.

[Ning 619]

Hopefully that will work. Other posters would be well advised to understand this kind of question requires a country specific answer. What it is elsewhere is NOT what it is everywhere. Your specific question can be asked directly to the Consulate by email. That's where any answer about alternatives to the signed statement must come.

This is correct. BKK is not similar to any other country when it comes to this subject.

In 3 recent cases the embassy required not only the signature but in 2 cases actually required the father to be present at the embassy for questioning.

The embassy will provide a sample letter. They dont explain that they require the letter signed in both languages. In the 2 cases I know of they also never said in advance that the father needed to be present. In those case both mothers made some errors in the verbal explanation of the situation which caused the officer to question the intent of the very letter the embassy issued.

This is a very difficult subject for people from other countries to understand. It involves a long history of Thai culture. It also demonstrates the extent Thai men will go to so they can avoid responsibility. What occured here is common in Thailand.

He refuses to acknowedge the needs of the child because it is the only thing he can do to maitain some control over another human. Thai men must be seen as having the mind set of a child. Do not mistake their thinking for yours or that it involves a modicum of common sense.

It may be a mistake to involve a lawyer. In Thailand these things are done by family members. This could turn into a very difficult situation if not approached in the right way. You will have to decide how much you are willing to pay. He will refuse the first offer. Prepare 3 offers & a strategy to make those offers. Use his family against him by makeing the offer thru them. They will want some of the money from him. They will try to force him to accept. He will lose face if he doesnt. This is their chance to make some money & they all know it.

Keep in mind someone may have to ask him to travel to BKK. He will want the cost of that plus his loss of income & more to do it. You wont know if the embassy will require him to come until its too late. This means additional time & money to be spent. If the embassy refuses the letter someone will have to talk him into coming. If that happens the embassy will allow time & reschedual the interview.

I know this all sounds impossible to believe but I assure you it isnt going to be easy. I helped with two cases in the recent past. I spent hours on the phone with the Thai to help them get thru what had to be done. There is much more to this than I can express here.

The other options you speak of are even more difficult. They would be limited to simply leaving the kids in Thailand. A close friend had to leave one of her 3 due to exactly this. It has proven to be extremely difficult for her & the child. She now travels to Thailand often to visit her own kid. This affects her life in the USA, her work & her Thia family a great deal. I would not recommend leaving the kids for a thousand reasons.

It is my hope that this child will be allowed to realise the same freedom we all have in this great country. To live his life here with both of you.

Edited March 27, 2011 by Ning

[Mountain Climber 186]

When my wife and I went for her visa interview at the Bangkok Embassy, all we needed at that time was the court order giving my wife full custody of her children. The embassy official make a copy of the order to put into her file. Both my wife and the children had no problems getting their visas. Obviously that was several years ago so maybe things have changed.

Edited March 28, 2011 by Mountain Climber

[TracyTN 237]

Yes, policies and procedures can change at consulates. I agree about emailing them and seeing what other options you have, if any (if the father truly will not comply).

[Ning 619]

When my wife and I went for her visa interview at the Bangkok Embassy, all we needed at that time was the court order giving my wife full custody of her children. The embassy official make a copy of the order to put into her file. Both my wife and the children had no problems getting their visas. Obviously that was several years ago so maybe things have changed.

I assure everyone things have changed. When I went thru this with my daughter I wasnt even asked for a court order. I simply got her a passport & turned it in to have the visa put in it. There wasnt one question asked.

There is no maybe to it. Anyone wanting to bring children out of Thailand will need to follow the present criteria.