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Emotional Abuse.. Need Help

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Good day Vj's It's not me who is emotionally abuse from husband. I ask help for my cousin who desperate need help on her situation now, She has 2 yrs Green card. first situation is shes pregnant and his husband don't want to take the responsibility of their baby. He does'nt want to bring her to a doctor for check up, not giving her any money for her, treating him like a sex slave. and now he wants my cousin to send back to Philippines so he can get rid of responsibilty to the baby. He said he cant support the baby here because it's expensive to deliver a ceasarian. He has no insurance and that's make him worry for the expenses for the delivery of the baby. We don't know what action she has to do, We are all worried for her and the baby for all the stress that she's been through now.

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She should consult a family law attorney to begin divorce proceedings.

*Moved from K1 forum to Effects of Major Changes forum*

Edited by Anh map

I-864 Affidavit of Support FAQ -->> https://travel.state.gov/content/visas/en/immigrate/immigrant-process/documents/support/i-864-frequently-asked-questions.html

FOREIGN INCOME REPORTING & TAX FILING -->> https://www.irs.gov/publications/p54/ch01.html#en_US_2015_publink100047318

CALL THIS NUMBER TO ORDER IRS TAX TRANSCRIPTS >> 800-908-9946

PLEASE READ THE GUIDES -->> Link to Visa Journey Guides

MULTI ENTRY SPOUSE VISA TO VN -->>Link to Visa Exemption for Vietnamese Residents Overseas & Their Spouses

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Good day Vj's It's not me who is emotionally abuse from husband. I ask help for my cousin who desperate need help on her situation now, She has 2 yrs Green card. first situation is shes pregnant and his husband don't want to take the responsibility of their baby. He does'nt want to bring her to a doctor for check up, not giving her any money for her, treating him like a sex slave. and now he wants my cousin to send back to Philippines so he can get rid of responsibilty to the baby. He said he cant support the baby here because it's expensive to deliver a ceasarian. He has no insurance and that's make him worry for the expenses for the delivery of the baby. We don't know what action she has to do, We are all worried for her and the baby for all the stress that she's been through now.

Sorry to hear about this situation, i cant give advice on legally what she should do, but, i say she should go see a doctor, any doctor, he is responsble whether he likes it or not, and he cant send her back, he doesnt have that authority, she needs to take care of herself and the baby in my opinion. good luck.


K1 Visa Timeline

10/11/2010 - I-129F sent via USPS

10/19/2010 - NOA1 hard copy received, dated 10/15/2010

04/08/2011- received NOA2 hard copy, dated 04/05/2011

04/12/2011- NVC received petition

04/18/2011- received letter from NVC

04/18/2011- Manila embassy received petition

04/27/2011- medical exam passed

05/04/2011- appointment letter received dated 06/01/2011

06/01/2011- appointment date, put on administrative review

06/24/2011- visa granted

06/29/2011- received visa

07/18/2011- cfo class

07/21/2011- arrived in America

09/02/2011- happily married!

AOS Timeline

12/01/2011- AOS packet sent

12/06/2011- received email and text from USCIS with MSC number

12/07/2011- check was cashed

12/10/2011- received NOA hard copy dated 12/05/2011

12/12/2011- received NOA hard copy for biometrics appointment for 12/28/2011

12/24/2011- received NOA hard copy stating that our case was transfered to CSC on 12/20/2011

12/28/2011- biometrics appointment completed

06/25/2012- put in service request

09/12/2012- AOS approved

09/17/2012- card production

09/21/2012- greencard in hand

ROC Timeline

08/04/2014 - sent ROC packet

08/13/2014 - received I-797, NOA, dated 08/08/2014

08/28/2014 - received biometric appt. letter for 09/11/2014

02/25/2015- ROC approved

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No reason to open multiples of the same topics - one in Effects of major family changes is enough. Moderator has been notified.


Removal of Conditions Journey

3/3/2009 - Removal of conditions - sent off packet to CSC

3/5/2009 - I-751 received in CSC

3/9/2009 - Check cashed

3/20/2009 - Biometrics notice received (no NOA1)

4/2/2009 - Biometrics

4/9/2009 - NOA1 date (first undelivered one is 3/5)

4/3/2009 - Touch?

5/6/2009 - ROC Approval - 65 days

6/22/2009 - CRIS Card production ordered email

7/7/2009 - GC arrived!

Naturalization Journey

3/03/2010 N400 sent to Arizona Lockbox

3/15/2010 Check cashed

3/17/2010 NOA1

3/18/2010 - Biometrics notice sent

3/26/2010 Early biometrics done at an ASC different from the one assigned to (Original BIO date was 4/15)

4/30/2010 Yellow letter received and info from USCIS mil line they are working on my interview letter (6/17 appt)

5/1/2010 Text and email interview letter sen

5/6/2010 Interview letter received - scheduled for 6/17/2010 at 10:05am

6/17/2010 Interview appointment - PASSED

6/29/2010 US Citizen

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You mention she has a 2 year green card. Does this mean she got removal of conditions approved? If so, that's one problem out of the way. If not, there is a way for victims of emotional or physical cruelty to get the condition removed without their husband's approval, but based on what you wrote, I don't think we need that here.

As far as support of the baby is concerned, this is his child, and no amount of wishful thinking by him will change that. I don't know what kind of child support laws there are in the Phillipines, I know child support laws are lacking in many countries, but the United States is not one of them. He will support his child simply because he has no choice. If she will be going to Social Services, then they will take care of it, as they will provide support for the child and get it back from him.

Hopefully, some of this will be a wake up call to him and get him to understand that he has responsibilities that are not going to go away. And maybe he will do them because it is the right thing to do and not lose the love he worked so hard to bring to this country.

But whether he wakes up or not, the child will be taken care of.

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You mention she has a 2 year green card. Does this mean she got removal of conditions approved?

Sorry, no - the 2 year card is conditional.

'removal of conditions' implies a 10 year card, always.


Sometimes my language usage seems confusing - please feel free to 'read it twice', just in case !
Ya know, you can find the answer to your question with the advanced search tool, when using a PC? Ditch the handphone, come back later on a PC, and try again.

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Sorry if I sound naive but I find it very difficult to believe a USC will go through the whole expenses and troubles involved in getting an alien over here and then not want to be responsible for their baby (I might be wrong). If he satisfied the 2 year meet-in-person thing, signed affidavit of support, payed for the documents and tests needed, payed for the flight, and payed for everything else when she came over, it sounds like he should be responsible enough to continue to meet expectations (although not always true and I might be wrong). We are only hearing one side of the story, what reasons did your cousin give you for her husband's sudden nonchalance? Once again, I might have it all wrong. My advise would be to contact a lawyer and see how her case stands.

Edited by Tero

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Well, as somebody who had to go through c-section and hospitalization here, i can see how the husband would want to have his wife deliver back in the philippines. esp since he has no insurance. our bill was like $60k for me n $80k for my baby. we are lucky that we have very good insurance coverage, but we do still have to cover some out of pocket. if just looking at this issue, i do not see it as abuse at all. being hugely in debt when you have better option is crazy. people in US go to the philippines all the time for medical tourism. your baby will still be usc wherever he/she/they r born being tht a parent is usc. plus, the mother will have support from family.


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My husband go to KL for dental and it is so much cheaper than in SF. :lol:

Which hospital do you went for c-section? Sound so expensive :wacko:

Well, as somebody who had to go through c-section and hospitalization here, i can see how the husband would want to have his wife deliver back in the philippines. esp since he has no insurance. our bill was like $60k for me n $80k for my baby. we are lucky that we have very good insurance coverage, but we do still have to cover some out of pocket. if just looking at this issue, i do not see it as abuse at all. being hugely in debt when you have better option is crazy. people in US go to the philippines all the time for medical tourism. your baby will still be usc wherever he/she/they r born being tht a parent is usc. plus, the mother will have support from family.

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My husband go to KL for dental and it is so much cheaper than in SF. :lol:

Which hospital do you went for c-section? Sound so expensive :wacko:

Hello dear!

Good question, made me go over my medical bill again just to make sure.. the actual cost for my c-section was $30k++ (it wasnt just for c-section per se, but for the whole scenario including after 1.5 days of labor an emergency c-section was deemed necessary... and my baby's hospitalization (10 days) was almost $60k USD. I went to a local university hospital...

I think I gave the higher number [(was thinking in a different currency because i was explaining to my brother the importance of him making sure that his job offers good insurance coverage (he just got married, his wife got pregnant, he changed jobs, etc.)] I have a colleague who just a cpl of mths before me had triplets! And apparently the requirement is that when those babies are out say 2 months before due date, they have to stay in NICU for at least 2 months (one had some difficulty and needed surgery, so he had to stay wayyyy longer that the other 2 cutie pies). Just imagine the medical cost of that without insurance? :( It is a sad reality. A lot of people get bankrupted by medical cost I would imagine.


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I guess that's explain why Paul's friend sent his wife to Bangkok to gave birth :D

Hello dear!

Good question, made me go over my medical bill again just to make sure.. the actual cost for my c-section was $30k++ (it wasnt just for c-section per se, but for the whole scenario including after 1.5 days of labor an emergency c-section was deemed necessary... and my baby's hospitalization (10 days) was almost $60k USD. I went to a local university hospital...

I think I gave the higher number [(was thinking in a different currency because i was explaining to my brother the importance of him making sure that his job offers good insurance coverage (he just got married, his wife got pregnant, he changed jobs, etc.)] I have a colleague who just a cpl of mths before me had triplets! And apparently the requirement is that when those babies are out say 2 months before due date, they have to stay in NICU for at least 2 months (one had some difficulty and needed surgery, so he had to stay wayyyy longer that the other 2 cutie pies). Just imagine the medical cost of that without insurance? :( It is a sad reality. A lot of people get bankrupted by medical cost I would imagine.

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Sorry if I sound naive but I find it very difficult to believe a USC will go through the whole expenses and troubles involved in getting an alien over here and then not want to be responsible for their baby (I might be wrong). If he satisfied the 2 year meet-in-person thing, signed affidavit of support, payed for the documents and tests needed, payed for the flight, and payed for everything else when she came over, it sounds like he should be responsible enough to continue to meet expectations (although not always true and I might be wrong). We are only hearing one side of the story, what reasons did your cousin give you for her husband's sudden nonchalance? Once again, I might have it all wrong. My advise would be to contact a lawyer and see how her case stands.

Some people just use their spouses as sex slaves and maids when they come here. We have lots of those cases here on VJ forum


11/8/10: Medical exam

11/12/10:Get married

11/19/10: I-693 sealed.It means my chest x ray is fine :)

11/20/10: Package [ I-130,I-485,I-765] sent to Lockbox

11/22/10 [Day 1]: Delivered there

11/29/10 [Day 7]: Return receipt from USPS

12/13/10 [Day 21]: Texts and email received [ after 21 days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]

12/16/10 [Day 24]: Snail copy received

12/18/10 [Day 26]: Every single form touched

12/20/10 [Day 28]: Biometrics letter received

1/13/11 [Day 51]: Biometrics done

1/24/11 [Day 62]: Biometrcis appointment received AGAIN.!!!!!!!!!I was like #######

2/04/11 [Day 72]: Second biometrics done

2/15/11 [Day 83]: EAD in production.

2/18/11 [Day 86]: Interview letter received, set for March 21

2/22/11 [Day 90]: EAD mailed out.

2/25/11 [Day 93]: EAD received

3/21/11 [Day 118]: Interview but left with no decision ToT

3/31/11 [Day 128]: RFE regarding police clearance

4/13/11 [Day 141]: RFE sent

4/19/11 [Day 147]: Card in production

4/22/11 [Day 150]: Welcome2USA letter received

It took 5 stressful months exactly.

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