Emotional Abuse.. Need Help

[...lovekita.... 0]

Good day Vj's It's not me who is emotionally abuse from husband. I ask help for my cousin who desperate need help on her situation now, She has 2 yrs Green card. first situation is shes pregnant and his husband don't want to take the responsibility of their baby. He does'nt want to bring her to a doctor for check up, not giving her any money for her, treating him like a sex slave. and now he wants my cousin to send back to Philippines so he can get rid of responsibilty to the baby. He said he cant support the baby here because it's expensive to deliver a ceasarian. He has no insurance and that's make him worry for the expenses for the delivery of the baby. We don't know what action she has to do, We are all worried for her and the baby for all the stress that she's been through now.

[Anh map 2,098]

She should consult a family law attorney to begin divorce proceedings.

*Moved from K1 forum to Effects of Major Changes forum*

Edited February 21, 2011 by Anh map

[MikelanNida 28]

Good day Vj's It's not me who is emotionally abuse from husband. I ask help for my cousin who desperate need help on her situation now, She has 2 yrs Green card. first situation is shes pregnant and his husband don't want to take the responsibility of their baby. He does'nt want to bring her to a doctor for check up, not giving her any money for her, treating him like a sex slave. and now he wants my cousin to send back to Philippines so he can get rid of responsibilty to the baby. He said he cant support the baby here because it's expensive to deliver a ceasarian. He has no insurance and that's make him worry for the expenses for the delivery of the baby. We don't know what action she has to do, We are all worried for her and the baby for all the stress that she's been through now.

Sorry to hear about this situation, i cant give advice on legally what she should do, but, i say she should go see a doctor, any doctor, he is responsble whether he likes it or not, and he cant send her back, he doesnt have that authority, she needs to take care of herself and the baby in my opinion. good luck.

[Claudia2010 1]

I wanna say that she might be able to apply for medicare or find a health plan thats free for people that have low income..I know here in texas there is one call MAP..good luck and hope everything works out for the best..

[milimelo 4,226]

No reason to open multiples of the same topics - one in Effects of major family changes is enough. Moderator has been notified.

[Al422 221]

You mention she has a 2 year green card. Does this mean she got removal of conditions approved? If so, that's one problem out of the way. If not, there is a way for victims of emotional or physical cruelty to get the condition removed without their husband's approval, but based on what you wrote, I don't think we need that here.

As far as support of the baby is concerned, this is his child, and no amount of wishful thinking by him will change that. I don't know what kind of child support laws there are in the Phillipines, I know child support laws are lacking in many countries, but the United States is not one of them. He will support his child simply because he has no choice. If she will be going to Social Services, then they will take care of it, as they will provide support for the child and get it back from him.

Hopefully, some of this will be a wake up call to him and get him to understand that he has responsibilities that are not going to go away. And maybe he will do them because it is the right thing to do and not lose the love he worked so hard to bring to this country.

But whether he wakes up or not, the child will be taken care of.

[Krikit 1,163]

Merging duplicate threads.

[Darnell 8,478]

You mention she has a 2 year green card. Does this mean she got removal of conditions approved?

Sorry, no - the 2 year card is conditional.

'removal of conditions' implies a 10 year card, always.

[Tero 105]

Sorry if I sound naive but I find it very difficult to believe a USC will go through the whole expenses and troubles involved in getting an alien over here and then not want to be responsible for their baby (I might be wrong). If he satisfied the 2 year meet-in-person thing, signed affidavit of support, payed for the documents and tests needed, payed for the flight, and payed for everything else when she came over, it sounds like he should be responsible enough to continue to meet expectations (although not always true and I might be wrong). We are only hearing one side of the story, what reasons did your cousin give you for her husband's sudden nonchalance? Once again, I might have it all wrong. My advise would be to contact a lawyer and see how her case stands.

Edited February 22, 2011 by Tero

[faryan 4]

Well, as somebody who had to go through c-section and hospitalization here, i can see how the husband would want to have his wife deliver back in the philippines. esp since he has no insurance. our bill was like $60k for me n $80k for my baby. we are lucky that we have very good insurance coverage, but we do still have to cover some out of pocket. if just looking at this issue, i do not see it as abuse at all. being hugely in debt when you have better option is crazy. people in US go to the philippines all the time for medical tourism. your baby will still be usc wherever he/she/they r born being tht a parent is usc. plus, the mother will have support from family.

[del-11-03-2013 1]

My husband go to KL for dental and it is so much cheaper than in SF.

Which hospital do you went for c-section? Sound so expensive

Well, as somebody who had to go through c-section and hospitalization here, i can see how the husband would want to have his wife deliver back in the philippines. esp since he has no insurance. our bill was like $60k for me n $80k for my baby. we are lucky that we have very good insurance coverage, but we do still have to cover some out of pocket. if just looking at this issue, i do not see it as abuse at all. being hugely in debt when you have better option is crazy. people in US go to the philippines all the time for medical tourism. your baby will still be usc wherever he/she/they r born being tht a parent is usc. plus, the mother will have support from family.

[faryan 4]

My husband go to KL for dental and it is so much cheaper than in SF.

Which hospital do you went for c-section? Sound so expensive

Hello dear!

Good question, made me go over my medical bill again just to make sure.. the actual cost for my c-section was $30k++ (it wasnt just for c-section per se, but for the whole scenario including after 1.5 days of labor an emergency c-section was deemed necessary... and my baby's hospitalization (10 days) was almost $60k USD. I went to a local university hospital...

I think I gave the higher number [(was thinking in a different currency because i was explaining to my brother the importance of him making sure that his job offers good insurance coverage (he just got married, his wife got pregnant, he changed jobs, etc.)] I have a colleague who just a cpl of mths before me had triplets! And apparently the requirement is that when those babies are out say 2 months before due date, they have to stay in NICU for at least 2 months (one had some difficulty and needed surgery, so he had to stay wayyyy longer that the other 2 cutie pies). Just imagine the medical cost of that without insurance? It is a sad reality. A lot of people get bankrupted by medical cost I would imagine.

[del-11-03-2013 1]

I guess that's explain why Paul's friend sent his wife to Bangkok to gave birth

Hello dear!

Good question, made me go over my medical bill again just to make sure.. the actual cost for my c-section was $30k++ (it wasnt just for c-section per se, but for the whole scenario including after 1.5 days of labor an emergency c-section was deemed necessary... and my baby's hospitalization (10 days) was almost $60k USD. I went to a local university hospital...

I think I gave the higher number [(was thinking in a different currency because i was explaining to my brother the importance of him making sure that his job offers good insurance coverage (he just got married, his wife got pregnant, he changed jobs, etc.)] I have a colleague who just a cpl of mths before me had triplets! And apparently the requirement is that when those babies are out say 2 months before due date, they have to stay in NICU for at least 2 months (one had some difficulty and needed surgery, so he had to stay wayyyy longer that the other 2 cutie pies). Just imagine the medical cost of that without insurance? It is a sad reality. A lot of people get bankrupted by medical cost I would imagine.

[Samoray 165]

She should consult a family law attorney to begin divorce proceedings.

[xxtinaxx 14]

Sorry if I sound naive but I find it very difficult to believe a USC will go through the whole expenses and troubles involved in getting an alien over here and then not want to be responsible for their baby (I might be wrong). If he satisfied the 2 year meet-in-person thing, signed affidavit of support, payed for the documents and tests needed, payed for the flight, and payed for everything else when she came over, it sounds like he should be responsible enough to continue to meet expectations (although not always true and I might be wrong). We are only hearing one side of the story, what reasons did your cousin give you for her husband's sudden nonchalance? Once again, I might have it all wrong. My advise would be to contact a lawyer and see how her case stands.

Some people just use their spouses as sex slaves and maids when they come here. We have lots of those cases here on VJ forum