Divorce-Sad story

[Someone Sad 14]

I camed here whit a k1 visa and got married summer 2010.We were togheter since 2007 (lond distance relationship)and i was happy.He was visiting me many times.

I payed a lot of money for our engagement reception over my country(those money were saved for my studies),we agreed whit my fatherinlaw to pay half half(he supossed to pay for the wedding reception a thing that never happened when i got here.

Unfortunaly things started to go bad,couple of weeks after our civil ceremony i found 20 pictures whit his ex girfriend in his cellphone! (he was whit her 4 years ago,only for 3 months,and the girl left him,got married and has 2 kids).I told him to erase the photos and before that he sent the photos in his e-mail.

I don't want to get tired the people who read this topic,but whit all the things that happened made me belive that he has an obsession for her.One day he told me to go and visit a friend and when i got there i realised we were at his ex gf mom's house.He has her entire family on his facebook,aunts,sisters,cousins.She sented a message on his cellphone on new year.I replyed back telling her to stop sending messages to my husband or i will inform her husband.Rather then apologize or say they are just friends,she sayed very bad things to me,and that she will make sure that her husband who is a policeofficer will found out all my info.

My husband didn't stand up for me,he is saying to forget everything.I got so depressed and sad,knowing that i spend all my money for my wedding,i loved him soo much.

i got so depressed whit all this situation and went back in my country for a while.I have the GC.

I do not have money for a lawyer and can't divorce.What can i do?

I would like to go to school in the Usa,becouse they aren't schools for the things that i want to study in Europe.Get my license and maybe go back in Europe.

I need to know the procedures whit the divorce and what can i do in the situation if i don't have money for the lawyer?Can i ask my money back that i spended for our engagement reception?We supossed to have our wedding reception and curch but got canceled and we sayed it will be in 2012 becouse myfatherinlaw layed and say now he can't pay for the wedding here.

My husband is saying that i can't take the house,but i do don't want anything,only the money back that i spended on our reception i need them for college.

Edited February 10, 2011 by Someone Sad

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

When does your green card expire? What day did you leave the US to return to your home country?

The only way you can force him to pay you is if you sue him in a civil court.

[Boiler 43,434]

Did you ask him for the money?

[Someone Sad 14]

When does your green card expire? What day did you leave the US to return to your home country?

The only way you can force him to pay you is if you sue him in a civil court.

Thank you for the reply.My Gc expires november 2012.I left USA one week ago.He bought the tickets.He want's me to go back,he calls me and keep contact,but i do not want to go back now.He still has her family on his facebbok,he didn;t did anything not even tryed to do something to forgive him.He is just saying that if i will mention anything i shouldnt go back if i will never let it go.This is crazy!!!I need time i am very depressed,i feel all my life is ruined now,and im thinking to ask help from a psichologist,becouse i am very deprassed and all this coused me also problems,health problems becouse i lost a lot of weight.The last 3 months in the Usa,when i got depressed beacouse of all this things also affected our social life,becouse i didn't want to go out from the house,we were invited to many family partys.I feel embaressed in front of his relatives.

I couldn't work becouse i was waiting for my GC.The last 3 months before to leave the USA,i used my last money to suport myself(i have receipts from the bank that i was changing euros),becouse my husband was complaining he can't pay all the bills and pay for my things.(shampoo,and once a month 50 dollars for clothes or a pair of shoes).

I do not have money to go in court and ask the money back.

And i do not have proofs of the things that happened,only some screen prints that he talks whit his ex gf mom,and i do not have someone to go in court whit me,his father heared that voicemail from his gf,but i dont not think that someone from the his family whill say something against him in the court.

[Anh map 2,098]

No one can force your husband to repay you other than a judge. There are charitable groups that can help you with filing for divorce.

You have a green card so you can return to the US and begin the divorce process, find employment, and move on with your life.

[rika60607 215]

Filing for divorce does not cost much, may be about $500, depending on the state.

If you want to get some money from him, you do need a lawyer and what you get will be decided upon in the divorce court.

[Someone Sad 14]

Filing for divorce does not cost much, may be about $500, depending on the state.

If you want to get some money from him, you do need a lawyer and what you get will be decided upon in the divorce court.

Rika he is telling me that i can take his house,car,bike.I don't want them.They are not mine!

I was asking if is possible or if i have a chance to take the money back that i spended to the reception,it is around 10.000!

From the beggining of our relation we were paying our trips half-half!

[Anh map 2,098]

Rika he is telling me that i can take his house,car,bike.I don't want them.They are not mine!

I was asking if is possible or if i have a chance to take the money back that i spended to the reception,it is around 10.000!

From the beggining of our relation we were paying our trips half-half!

Only a judge can force him to pay you. If you ask, and he says "no" there is nothing that can be done outside of a court.

[Fandango 1,439]

Do you have an agreement in writing about paying half of the reception?

My take - and this might be seen as quite evil although I don't think so - would be to tell him that you will forfeit your right to the house and his possessions as long as he pays you what he owes.

Don't stay out of the country too long, or else you will be considered abandoning your GC.

Good luck.

[LIFE'SJOURNEY 970]

Was this a arranged marriage?

[rika60607 215]

Well, did you tell him that all you want is 10K?

You mentioned he would not give you money, so given his generous attitude I assume he has none.

Take the car and the bike, sell them - may be that would be around 10K?

Anyway, if he agrees to divorce and you both agree on how to split assets, you do not need a lawyer, you can do it yourself and it should run you under 1K.

Rika he is telling me that i can take his house,car,bike.I don't want them.They are not mine!

I was asking if is possible or if i have a chance to take the money back that i spended to the reception,it is around 10.000!

From the beggining of our relation we were paying our trips half-half!

[mylovemyheart 0]

wow. thats really sad! I am so sorry ...

I can only agree with the others. go back to the U.S.

get urself a lawyer and then sue every single penny he owns u out of him.

go on with ur life! there r many nice men out there! I am sure u ill find one.

see it from the good point. u found out what an idiot he is before u got kids. he and his ex truly deserve each other. u deserve better!

[Someone Sad 14]

Well, did you tell him that all you want is 10K?

You mentioned he would not give you money, so given his generous attitude I assume he has none.

Take the car and the bike, sell them - may be that would be around 10K?

Anyway, if he agrees to divorce and you both agree on how to split assets, you do not need a lawyer, you can do it yourself and it should run you under 1K.

Rika all i wanted was us,like a family.Becouse my mom left me when i was 10 y.o,having my own family was a very important thing to me.After working 2 jobs many years,hoping i will have enough money to study,and thought my husband is my other half.Yes maybe its was a stupid thing from me spending almost all the money i saved for the studies,for our wedding.

I didn't imagined that things will turn like this.I thought he was a nice guy,he was never violent whit me.But things turned up to be his a psicho.Bringing your new wife to visit you ex gf's mom is crazy.I tryed to excuse him many times and say to myself that the american way is diffrent formthe europe,that after a couple brakes up they are friends not like in Europe.

I excused him when he was buying her baby clothes(she is married and have 2 kids whit her husband).I excused him when someone from his hockey team grabed a part of my body and my husband didn't stand up for me or saying anuthing.I had to stand up for me in front of them and demand some respect.I excused him when i found pictures of her in our bedroom.I was in a shock 3 weeks after we got married to find pictures whit her in his cellphone(he broked up whit her 4 years ago).And before he erased them,he sended them in his email.

He even bought me to visit her mom.I found it out when we were there.On hallowen he wanted to go at a party of her family.Obvesly he has a sort of obsession for her.He was in contact whit her mom and this woman knew everything we were doing.

Let's say is the american way to be friends but why do i think that her mom wants him for backup in case she gets divorced?Why he wants so much to be friend whit her family and seems they are more important then me.Can someone explain to me?

And yes i feel like a luser and so stupid.I think he married me only becouse i was nice whit him,and yes i eneded up bu packing my things and go back in my country.He ruined my life and broked my heart!

I eneded up the last months to change some euros to suport myself while he wasd paying his house bills and everyhting...So i am asking my money back least to start again and continue my life

[Someone Sad 14]

wow. thats really sad! I am so sorry ...

I can only agree with the others. go back to the U.S.

get urself a lawyer and then sue every single penny he owns u out of him.

go on with ur life! there r many nice men out there! I am sure u ill find one.

see it from the good point. u found out what an idiot he is before u got kids. he and his ex truly deserve each other. u deserve better!

i am realy close to a nerve breakdown.

And you mentioned about kids,we were planning have kids after i finish my school in 2,3 years.

One day i had on the table some doctor results,ultrasounds(it was from the anual ceck up),and he thought i was pregnant,his face got white,he started to scream he dosen't want kids and talk about avortion.I was in a shock,i didn't had time to tell him that he missunderstud the results,becaouse he was talking all the time.I got in a shock to see his reaction,least i know how he would react to such news.

[Boiler 43,434]

It does not sound like he has much money.

And limited assets.

And with a short marriage anyway its not as if she is going to get a pay off.

Best bet is to come to an amicable settlement.

Still not clear if he has been asked to pay for the reception ( a lot of money btw) and if he has it to hand over anyway.