I went through K1 visa process but ....

[Brendy 0]

I back to my hometown, completely devastated, I feel humiliated. Right now my situation is not easy, I'm trying

to restart my life in my country. I'm a professional I had a good job, apartment, etc and I left everything for someone I thought was the right one. My dream was not to live in the US, was start a new life with him. After 3 years of relationship, we decide go to through the K1 process. He's the one who dragged me to the US, but he changed his mind to get married when I came there. During the time I lived with him in the US he started to be abusive, not physically but emotionally, mentally and verbally abusive.

90 days finally ended and we did not get married, he broke his promise of marriage, always with a different excuse

but that last day (day 90th) he told next week we're getting married and I believed him, but again nothing happened, he told me I could stay illegally, that wouldn't be any problem, that there were many people in the same situation, nothing bad would happen to me. I thought, this is going to get worse, I better go as soon as possible, the 2nd week living out of status I decided to call my family for help, they bought the ticket to back to my country.

Now I'm going to counseling, I have a deep depression, I'm broken emotionally and financially, before I was self-sufficient and now I am being supported by my family.

I wonder, is there a way to alert or report him at any immigration office? I don´t want revenge, I just want to

warn about this type of people, and who knows, to prevent a possible next victim to go through the same thing. If so, how can I prove this abuse? I don´t have police or doctor's reports. I wouldn't have any problems getting statements from some of his friends and family about the situation.

[JeannieL 44]

I'm so sorry to hear of your bad experience. I really don't have any advice. I'm glad that you made it safely back to your own country.

[moroccogirlny 100]

I back to my hometown, completely devastated, I feel humiliated. Right now my situation is not easy, I'm trying

to restart my life in my country. I'm a professional I had a good job, apartment, etc and I left everything for someone I thought was the right one. My dream was not to live in the US, was start a new life with him. After 3 years of relationship, we decide go to through the K1 process. He's the one who dragged me to the US, but he changed his mind to get married when I came there. During the time I lived with him in the US he started to be abusive, not physically but emotionally, mentally and verbally abusive.

90 days finally ended and we did not get married, he broke his promise of marriage, always with a different excuse

but that last day (day 90th) he told next week we're getting married and I believed him, but again nothing happened, he told me I could stay illegally, that wouldn't be any problem, that there were many people in the same situation, nothing bad would happen to me. I thought, this is going to get worse, I better go as soon as possible, the 2nd week living out of status I decided to call my family for help, they bought the ticket to back to my country.

Now I'm going to counseling, I have a deep depression, I'm broken emotionally and financially, before I was self-sufficient and now I am being supported by my family.

I wonder, is there a way to alert or report him at any immigration office? I don´t want revenge, I just want to

warn about this type of people, and who knows, to prevent a possible next victim to go through the same thing. If so, how can I prove this abuse? I don´t have police or doctor's reports. I wouldn't have any problems getting statements from some of his friends and family about the situation.

I'm sorry to hear of your situation. Perhaps you are lucky that you did not go through the marriage, only to possibly get worse. I'm not really sure if he can be reported. I would try to email the Consulate you went through and see what they say. Best of luck to you

[*Yankee Love* 15]

I dont think there is sth you can do about it, since he is the US Citizen and you the Beneficiary.. =/

I am sorry to hear about ur situation !

[Aztec&Taino 144]

I back to my hometown, completely devastated, I feel humiliated. Right now my situation is not easy, I'm trying

to restart my life in my country. I'm a professional I had a good job, apartment, etc and I left everything for someone I thought was the right one. My dream was not to live in the US, was start a new life with him. After 3 years of relationship, we decide go to through the K1 process. He's the one who dragged me to the US, but he changed his mind to get married when I came there. During the time I lived with him in the US he started to be abusive, not physically but emotionally, mentally and verbally abusive.

90 days finally ended and we did not get married, he broke his promise of marriage, always with a different excuse

but that last day (day 90th) he told next week we're getting married and I believed him, but again nothing happened, he told me I could stay illegally, that wouldn't be any problem, that there were many people in the same situation, nothing bad would happen to me. I thought, this is going to get worse, I better go as soon as possible, the 2nd week living out of status I decided to call my family for help, they bought the ticket to back to my country.

Now I'm going to counseling, I have a deep depression, I'm broken emotionally and financially, before I was self-sufficient and now I am being supported by my family.

I wonder, is there a way to alert or report him at any immigration office? I don´t want revenge, I just want to

warn about this type of people, and who knows, to prevent a possible next victim to go through the same thing. If so, how can I prove this abuse? I don´t have police or doctor's reports. I wouldn't have any problems getting statements from some of his friends and family about the situation.

I am very sorry to know that things did not work out for the two of you. I am also glad that he chose not to marry you. Can you imagine if he had kept his promise of marriage while continuing to be abusive? Would you have wanted a marriage under those circumstances? I would not think so. Since you are a professional and smart, capable woman you will overcome this present challenge. I have trust that, in time, you will once again gain your independence and be able to live on your own and find a job. As far as reporting to USCIS, I would not think that this could work since there does not seem to be police reports that would evidence your claims. But there might be a way, so keep researching. My advice would be to try to see the positive of the experience, at the end, you will feel a higher sense of empowerment out of having resolved your situation. You will succeed. Best wishes and you move forward!

[corazónENparaguay 46]

Ya, sounds like the worse possible scenario. However, I'd spend less time worrying about the shmuck and more time pondering the reasons why you allowed someone to "drag" you through the process. I don't mean to be critical because Shmucks are everywhere and can't be controlled, and really, is he worth your concern? You do, however, have control over the choices and decisions you make, and I just want to point that out. You were self-sufficient before so there's no reason, other than by your own volition, why you can't be so again. We all make mistakes, they sometimes suck, but guess what? Today you were given two promises...1) that the sun would rise, and 2) the opportunity to change your situation. Take advantage of it and good luck!

Edited October 8, 2010 by corazónENparaguay

[Krikit 1,163]

I'm so sorry, Brendy.

I don't blame you for at least wanting to give them a heads up. I would do so too. I'm not sure who you would contact with a letter since your file went with you to the US. Possibly USCIS? I'll move your thread from K-1 Process over to the Effects of Major Changes Forum in case someone has the information there. Make sure you include all the file numbers/A number.

All the best.

[marriedtomrg 140]

What is your country of origin?

If you are from the Philippines, you can report the USC at the Commission of Filipinos Overseas (CFO) and inform them of what you went through...the USC's information would be in their database...so in case the USC tries to sponsor someone else from the Philippines, his name would be in the system...and they will warn the woman from pushing through with marriage and/or immigration by informing them if their petitioner has a history of multiple petitions that have all fallen through.

Unfortunately there is no law against someone changing their mind or prolonging the process...plus you are back in your home country...I hope you will be able to find some kind of relief or closure. Good luck to you.

[Nik+Heather 121]

Without knowing what the "abuse" was (and I'm not asking for elaboration here), the rest of your story sounds a lot like the end of a long distance relationship ending which unfortunately is not all that uncommon. Once you suddenly start to spend so much time together, find that it's not the same as you had imagined it would be, and things just don't end up as happy as you like. Everyone's unhappy, fights, etc.

I think you're really brave (I think everyone on here is, actually!) to make a go of it, to take a chance on your love and not be left wondering "what if...." Well, now you know, and you can move on with your life. I'm glad that your family was there to help you when you needed it, and that you can get your life back together and move on. I don't think there's anything to feel humiliated by here. You put your whole life into that relationship, and that's something to be admired, not to be ashamed of.

As for informing on him, the immigration service already knows that he has petitioned for you, and if he ever tries to do it again, then he will have to account for what happened between you two. But really, since he invested 3 years in a relationship with you, it doesn't seem like it's something he's going to continue doing over and over, surely?

[jrmejia 31]

I can not believe some one can do that. I just can not imagine it. Sorry to hear about your situation. Wishing you luck.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

I back to my hometown, completely devastated, I feel humiliated. Right now my situation is not easy, I'm trying

to restart my life in my country. I'm a professional I had a good job, apartment, etc and I left everything for someone I thought was the right one. My dream was not to live in the US, was start a new life with him. After 3 years of relationship, we decide go to through the K1 process. He's the one who dragged me to the US, but he changed his mind to get married when I came there. During the time I lived with him in the US he started to be abusive, not physically but emotionally, mentally and verbally abusive.

90 days finally ended and we did not get married, he broke his promise of marriage, always with a different excuse

but that last day (day 90th) he told next week we're getting married and I believed him, but again nothing happened, he told me I could stay illegally, that wouldn't be any problem, that there were many people in the same situation, nothing bad would happen to me. I thought, this is going to get worse, I better go as soon as possible, the 2nd week living out of status I decided to call my family for help, they bought the ticket to back to my country.

Now I'm going to counseling, I have a deep depression, I'm broken emotionally and financially, before I was self-sufficient and now I am being supported by my family.

I wonder, is there a way to alert or report him at any immigration office? I don´t want revenge, I just want to

warn about this type of people, and who knows, to prevent a possible next victim to go through the same thing. If so, how can I prove this abuse? I don´t have police or doctor's reports. I wouldn't have any problems getting statements from some of his friends and family about the situation.

I disagree, he did the right thing. He wasn't ready or willing to marry you, so he did not. Would have been really good of him to tell you before you left your job but that didn't happen. No need to compound things. You did the right thing to go home. Just be glad you DIDN'T get married. He did nothing wrong (legally or within the view of USCIS, they would say he did exactly the right thing) and there is no one and nothing to report. He is by far not the only guy (or girl) to back out. He is an irresponsible guy, or at least right now he is, so better to say goodbye and start over. Sounds like you have the education and skills to make a good life for yourself without this loser around. Good luck.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

What is your country of origin?

If you are from the Philippines, you can report the USC at the Commission of Filipinos Overseas (CFO) and inform them of what you went through...the USC's information would be in their database...so in case the USC tries to sponsor someone else from the Philippines, his name would be in the system...and they will warn the woman from pushing through with marriage and/or immigration by informing them if their petitioner has a history of multiple petitions that have all fallen through.

Unfortunately there is no law against someone changing their mind or prolonging the process...plus you are back in your home country...I hope you will be able to find some kind of relief or closure. Good luck to you.

You think there should be a law against changing your mind? Really. Maybe go to prison for changing your mind? I think it is very fortunate this guy was not FORCED to marry this woman he clearly did not want to marry.

I wonder if these people allow a person to respond or if they just take someone's word for it? I mean it sounds as though this is a pretty lowlife guy, and maybe he is. Then again maybe it just didn;t work out for who knows how many reasons and maybe it would be fine with the next one? Who knows? I think these two people ought to get on with things and be GLAD they didn;t get married and need a divorce or, even worse, make babies...holy #######! What happended is terrible and it is a risk in this type of relationship, it is a risk in any relationship. How many American women married American men and had their dreams shattered because of something...or men's dreams ruined because of an American woman? The OP is certainly not the only person in counseling for a broken relationship. She is an adult, she made adult decisions, they didn't work out. It happens. It will probably happen several times. Mistakes provide experience, experience reduces mistakes. Education is expensive.

I wish her the best and hope she gets on with it. Hey, look at it this way...at SOME POINT you WILL get over this. Really. Do it sooner, not later.

Edited October 9, 2010 by Gary and Alla