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Ambitioust

A life turned upside down

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Hello VJers,

Long time no see. I'm an old face with a new name. Unfortunately my circumstances prevent me from telling you who I really am. If you wish to know please PM.

Here's my situation.

I've been in the US for 3 years plus now. My new life has been hell on earth. First I suffered emotional abuse and severe neglect by my U.S spouses mother who had prior to my arrival agreed to be my caregiver as I suffered from a disabling illness. My husband sat back and watched it all happen and did nothing but blame me for my circumstances. In 2008 I attempted to escape my situation and almost returned to the UK. After a lot of convincing from my spouse and a lot of promises I decided to stay to give it another try without his mother in the picture. First few months of us living in our own place were good. I thought things were looking up. Until he started trapping me in the apartment and threatening me. He has thrown things at me and physically hit me on my 20th birthday because my sister-in-law took me for a pedicure. He would throw a fit every time I'd try and leave the house even to go to the store to get my medication. I convinced him to get a psychologist who apparently diagnosed him with post traumatic stress disorder and anxiety because I attempted to leave the country to save myself. I do not know if this is true. Four months into my arrival he also started an emotional relationship with some woman from texas online. This led to several other women. Never in real life. But he would preform virtual sexual acts with them. I spent most of the time over at my sister-in-laws house when I could get out the house afraid to go home. I was afraid to call the cops when he acted out. He told me he'd hurt my family. Eventually we had to move in with my sister-in-law so she could better look after us. He's disabled too. He ended up acting out infront of her two young children. He would ram me with his electric wheelchair in a fit of rage. Keep me awake every night wearing me down mentally trying to get me to break. Telling me awful things how I could never leave him, my parents don't want me. I'm pathetic and retarded.

The last few months he's been threatening to move out of my sis-in-laws house. Claiming I'm not trying in our relationship. How can you try with someone whos abusive both emotionally and physically. Everything I once saw in him is gone. He finally moved out a few weeks ago.

I called USCIS to figure out what I can do about my joint application to remove conditions. A lady instructed me to write a written withdrawal and then reapply under terms of a waiver on spousal abuse. I wrote the letter and immediately send it then started working on evidence for the new application to remove conditions. Plus getting the money to do so. Three days ago I get a letter from homeland security telling me upon withdrawal my conditional status was terminated. I no longer have the right to live and work in the US! The lady on the phone did not explain that they would do this. It also stated I could not appeal the decision but I could ask for a review of the case in front of an immigration judge. I wrote back right away explaining how the lady instructed me and requested a notice to appear.

I am at a loss on what to do here! I've been through so much and now it looks like because some lady misinformed me they're going to kick me out. I called USCIS again and explained my situation. They told me to do as the letter instructed. They couldn't give me anymore info! I asked if they could listen to the phone call from last month and find out who instructed me because my young niece got hold of the paper the ladys name was written on. Another lady told me she couldn't do that! She was terribly sorry.

What I need to no is after I tell the judge everything thats been going on. Does anybody here think I have a chance to stay in this country? Would it benefit me to continue putting together the new application and bring it to the appointment and hand it over?

Please don't tell me I need a lawyer. I can't afford one.

Ambitioust

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Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: China
Timeline

Usually I have some advice in a situation similar to this, sans the 'withdrawal letter'.

With that 'withdrawal letter', I am stunned into silence.


Sometimes my language usage seems confusing - please feel free to 'read it twice', just in case !
Ya know, you can find the answer to your question with the advanced search tool, when using a PC? Ditch the handphone, come back later on a PC, and try again.

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Filed: Other Timeline

Calling Jim . . .


There is no room in this country for hyphenated Americanism. When I refer to hyphenated Americans, I do not refer to naturalized Americans. Some of the very best Americans I have ever known were naturalized Americans, Americans born abroad. But a hyphenated American is not an American at all . . . . The one absolutely certain way of bringing this nation to ruin, of preventing all possibility of its continuing to be a nation at all, would be to permit it to become a tangle of squabbling nationalities, an intricate knot of German-Americans, Irish-Americans, English-Americans, French-Americans, Scandinavian-Americans or Italian-Americans, each preserving its separate nationality, each at heart feeling more sympathy with Europeans of that nationality, than with the other citizens of the American Republic . . . . There is no such thing as a hyphenated American who is a good American. The only man who is a good American is the man who is an American and nothing else.

President Teddy Roosevelt on Columbus Day 1915

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Ghana
Timeline

Gather as much information regarding your abuse as possible and get all other documents showing that you guys were married. Too bad you didn't call the cops because a police report would have made your arguement of abuse stronger infront of a judge. Wishing you all the luck you'd need.

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Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Egypt
Timeline

First off calm down, your situation isn't as bad as you think :) The process of "kicking you out" is quite a long one, if it really is the case.

Usually when someone wants to withdraw a joint petition, they include a withdrawal letter AND the new petition. Withdrawing a petition without providing another simply implies you no longer want to remove conditions, so it's expected that they would send you the letter terminating status as if you didn't file for removal of conditions at all.

What needs to be done is to file the new I-751 with a waiver ASAP. Bet let me ask you this; Do you intend to continue in such relationship, or is divorce somewhere on the horizon?

For an I-751 waiver based on abuse, you'll have to provide evidence of both a bona fide marriage AND evidence of abuse.

For an I-751 waiver based on divorce, you only need to provide evidence of the marriage being entered in good faith (and atleast a divorce complaint). Usually these are easier to approve than abuse, from what I've been reading on forums.

Let me tell you the worst case scenario (and someone please correct me if I'm wrong) if you do NOTHING:

1. they send you a notification of termination of status

2. they put you in removal proceedings

3. you'll have the right to appeal in front of an immigration judge.

Here's what I suggest you do:

a) Decide whether or not you'll seek divorce anytime soon.

b) call an immigration lawyer. There's a lot of lawyers who have an initial free consultation. Google "immigration lawyer free consultation" and you'll find plenty.

c) File the new petition ASAP. If it happens that you appear in front of an immigration judge, you may explain that you intend to do so.

once again, chillax :) there's people who're in a far worse spot than you.


Wife's I-130:

03/15/2019 NOA1 (Nebraska Service Center)

02/11/2020 Case transferred to Vermont Service Center

02/02/2021 NOA2 الحمد لله

02/04/2021 Approval email
02/12/2022 NVC documents submitted

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First off calm down, your situation isn't as bad as you think smile.gif The process of "kicking you out" is quite a long one, if it really is the case.

Usually when someone wants to withdraw a joint petition, they include a withdrawal letter AND the new petition. Withdrawing a petition without providing another simply implies you no longer want to remove conditions, so it's expected that they would send you the letter terminating status as if you didn't file for removal of conditions at all.

What needs to be done is to file the new I-751 with a waiver ASAP. Bet let me ask you this; Do you intend to continue in such relationship, or is divorce somewhere on the horizon?

For an I-751 waiver based on abuse, you'll have to provide evidence of both a bona fide marriage AND evidence of abuse.

For an I-751 waiver based on divorce, you only need to provide evidence of the marriage being entered in good faith (and atleast a divorce complaint). Usually these are easier to approve than abuse, from what I've been reading on forums.

Let me tell you the worst case scenario (and someone please correct me if I'm wrong) if you do NOTHING:

1. they send you a notification of termination of status

2. they put you in removal proceedings

3. you'll have the right to appeal in front of an immigration judge.

Here's what I suggest you do:

a) Decide whether or not you'll seek divorce anytime soon.

b) call an immigration lawyer. There's a lot of lawyers who have an initial free consultation. Google "immigration lawyer free consultation" and you'll find plenty.

c) File the new petition ASAP. If it happens that you appear in front of an immigration judge, you may explain that you intend to do so.

once again, chillax smile.gif there's people who're in a far worse spot than you.

Concur - this is exactly what the OP needs to do - file for another removal of conditions based on VAWA or Divorce.


My Advice is usually based on "Worst Case Scenario" and what is written in the rules/laws/instructions. That is the way I roll... -Protect your Status - file before your I-94 expires.

WARNING: Phrases in this post may sound meaner than they were intended to be. Read the Adjudicator's Field Manual from USCIS

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Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Ghana
Timeline

Hello VJers,

Long time no see. I'm an old face with a new name. Unfortunately my circumstances prevent me from telling you who I really am. If you wish to know please PM.

Here's my situation.

I've been in the US for 3 years plus now. My new life has been hell on earth. First I suffered emotional abuse and severe neglect by my U.S spouses mother who had prior to my arrival agreed to be my caregiver as I suffered from a disabling illness. My husband sat back and watched it all happen and did nothing but blame me for my circumstances. In 2008 I attempted to escape my situation and almost returned to the UK. After a lot of convincing from my spouse and a lot of promises I decided to stay to give it another try without his mother in the picture. First few months of us living in our own place were good. I thought things were looking up. Until he started trapping me in the apartment and threatening me. He has thrown things at me and physically hit me on my 20th birthday because my sister-in-law took me for a pedicure. He would throw a fit every time I'd try and leave the house even to go to the store to get my medication. I convinced him to get a psychologist who apparently diagnosed him with post traumatic stress disorder and anxiety because I attempted to leave the country to save myself. I do not know if this is true. Four months into my arrival he also started an emotional relationship with some woman from texas online. This led to several other women. Never in real life. But he would preform virtual sexual acts with them. I spent most of the time over at my sister-in-laws house when I could get out the house afraid to go home. I was afraid to call the cops when he acted out. He told me he'd hurt my family. Eventually we had to move in with my sister-in-law so she could better look after us. He's disabled too. He ended up acting out infront of her two young children. He would ram me with his electric wheelchair in a fit of rage. Keep me awake every night wearing me down mentally trying to get me to break. Telling me awful things how I could never leave him, my parents don't want me. I'm pathetic and retarded.

The last few months he's been threatening to move out of my sis-in-laws house. Claiming I'm not trying in our relationship. How can you try with someone whos abusive both emotionally and physically. Everything I once saw in him is gone. He finally moved out a few weeks ago.

I called USCIS to figure out what I can do about my joint application to remove conditions. A lady instructed me to write a written withdrawal and then reapply under terms of a waiver on spousal abuse. I wrote the letter and immediately send it then started working on evidence for the new application to remove conditions. Plus getting the money to do so. Three days ago I get a letter from homeland security telling me upon withdrawal my conditional status was terminated. I no longer have the right to live and work in the US! The lady on the phone did not explain that they would do this. It also stated I could not appeal the decision but I could ask for a review of the case in front of an immigration judge. I wrote back right away explaining how the lady instructed me and requested a notice to appear.

I am at a loss on what to do here! I've been through so much and now it looks like because some lady misinformed me they're going to kick me out. I called USCIS again and explained my situation. They told me to do as the letter instructed. They couldn't give me anymore info! I asked if they could listen to the phone call from last month and find out who instructed me because my young niece got hold of the paper the ladys name was written on. Another lady told me she couldn't do that! She was terribly sorry.

What I need to no is after I tell the judge everything thats been going on. Does anybody here think I have a chance to stay in this country? Would it benefit me to continue putting together the new application and bring it to the appointment and hand it over?

Please don't tell me I need a lawyer. I can't afford one.

Ambitioust

pls just leave go back to the uk

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pls just leave go back to the uk

Responses like this, do not exactly contribute to the conversation and may be best kept unsaid.

**Moving topic from ROC to Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits; where it may be more appropriate.

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Responses like this, do not exactly contribute to the conversation and may be best kept unsaid.

**Moving topic from ROC to Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits; where it may be more appropriate.

I agree.

But in the kindest of ways I would ask the OP to consider whether returning to the UK, with the advantages of the NHS, might be better for her in the long run.


Our journey together on this earth has come to an end.

I will see you one day again, my love.

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Vietnam
Timeline

Calling Jim . . .

Okalian's response nailed this one! :thumbs:

To Ambitioust: Never EVER ask the US government for advice on dealing with the US government. You'll either be talking to a representative from a contract customer service company who is reading information from a computer screen that you could easily find on the government agency's website, or you'll be talking to a bureaucrat who doesn't care and doesn't want to spend any more time than necessary talking to you. The information you'll get will often be wrong. When it's not wrong, it will often be incomplete.

Whoever you spoke to told you only the first step you needed to perform, without explaining any of the options you had AFTER performing that step, nor the consequences that would befall you once you DID perform that step.

Unfortunately, by withdrawing your joint petition you have made it urgent that you file a new petition quickly in order to avoid deportation. You don't have time to get a divorce before filing, but you CAN file a new petition with a waiver request based on divorce without having completed the divorce. When the petition is adjudicated you will receive an RFE for the divorce decree. If the divorce is still not completed, you'll likely end up in removal proceedings. At your first hearing you'll be able to ask the immigration judge to issue a stay until you can complete the divorce.

I recommend you file based on divorce rather than VAWA. As Okalian explained, both waivers require evidence that you entered the marriage in good faith. The only additional evidence required for a waiver based on divorce is a divorce decree, while a waiver based on abuse requires a pile of evidence to substantiate the claim of abuse.

You can do this without an attorney, but be prepared to spend a lot of time educating yourself.


12/15/2009 - K1 Visa Interview - APPROVED!

12/29/2009 - Married in Oakland, CA!

08/18/2010 - AOS Interview - APPROVED!

05/01/2013 - Removal of Conditions - APPROVED!

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Thank you everyone for the tremendously great advise on my situation and circumstances. I knew VJ was the place to come.

Ok so let me get this straight. Despite I have received the letter from Homeland Security telling me that up on withdrawal on my joint removal application my status was terminated and I no longer have the right to reside and work in the US, I should go ahead with re-filing the removal asap? This makes sense to me BUT I am concerned if I do this I am not following the letters instructs as I was told on the phone. Yeh yeh, I know USCIS helpline is garbage I'm very aware but I don't want to cause EVEN MORE problems than I already have you know? Plus I can't have $535 going down the drain.

Up on looking over the advise would you say it would be a bright idea in my case to do like you have suggested and refile asap but bring a copy of the entire application to the appointment with the judge as I assume that will still happen despite me refiling now or not?! If you don't understand what I mean I will try and rephrase.

As far as grounds of refiling. I can and have provided up to this point evidence that I entered this marriage is good faith. That is not a problem for me. What I'm gathering is likely to be an issue is my lack of 'official' evidence of spousal abuse. I did have a feeling way in the beginning that me not calling the cops when he was physically abusive would not be in my favor in the long run but I'm hoping the judge will understand that I didn't because so much was at stake. My families safety for example. I was deadly afraid of him. Despite my fears I hung in there as long as I could for everybody elses sake. It may seem stupid but I depend on not only my own family back in England but his family. Ever since his brother and sister-in-law became aware his mother was abusing and neglecting me they took me under their wing, they cared for me and made me grow in so many ways. I felt my duty was to stick in there long enough for them to become financially stable enough to survive without him. They were very dependant of my abusive husband financially because they were in the middle of buying a house. If I would of gave up a long time ago their home would of been taken from under them. My nieces that were 2 and 5 at the time would of been heartbroken. They didn't ask me to stick in there. In fact they encouraged me to call the cops. I just couldn't cope with the guilt knowing everybody's lives would of been turned upside down if he left at the wrong time. So I stuck in there. There is though a police report documenting when I was taken to the hospital when I let them know I was being abused and neglected by his mother. The case was later dropped through lack of physical evidence. It was my words against hers. She told the police some sob story how she was just overwhelmed. I don't know exactly what was written about it. There was another instance on my 21st birthday when he rammed into a friend of mines shins, influenced by alcohol he thought this guy was not allowing him into the house. The neighbor called the cops thinking his story was true! I asked my sister in law if there was an actual police report on that instantly as they did come out and investigate. She doesn't think there is. But I thought every police matter is documented somewhere? Is she wrong? My sister-in-law and some of her friends and even my nieces who I've grown so close too are willing to go up on the stand for me and write witness reports for my application on abuse. As they have witness several events over a long period of time of emotional and physical abuse.

Do you think witness letters would be in my favor in applying under those grounds seeing as I don't really have any police reports? And would it be in my favor to get the police report from when I almost returned to England as proof of me attempting to seek a safe haven? My sister-in-law could also write I spent many days at her house which technically I fled to for safety. Would that count?

Divorce. There is absolutely unless by some miracle I can afford to file for divorce here. Are you telling me if I file removal under abuse at some point in order to go through with that I would definitely need a divorce decree? I had to borrow money from my parents in England to refile. Other than that I have 3 dollars to my name and my sister-in-law is solely supporting me. My disability benefit is all up in the air after closing the joint bank account with Him after I decided I couldn't hang in there anymore. My benefits were being directly deposited into that account and he was sucking me dry every month. I'm trying to get the direct deposit transfered to my new bank account but because of the whole mail delays with the volcanic ash its been weeks of a nightmare. I even tried faxing over the info. Thats a whole other story!

Anyway everybody again THANK YOU so much. I'm looking forward to hearing your continued advise on my current questions.

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I know you said you can't afford an attorney, however, you might look into Legal Aid. Call a court near you - they should have the number for attorneys in your area who work pro-bono.

Just a suggestion.

And I, for one, don't want you to go back to the UK...they should send your husband away, not you.


Marriage : 2009-06-30

CSC: 155 days

I-130: 2009-10-01

NOA1: 2009-10-15

NOA2: 2010-03-05

I-129F: 2009-10-16

NOA1: 2009-10-23

NOA2: 2010-03-05

NVC: 60 days

Case #: 2010-03-11

AOS Paid: 2010-03-15

IV Bill Paid: 2010-03-24

Package Sent: 2010-03-29

AVR says received: 2010-04-02

RFE: 2010-04-13

Sign in Fail: 2010-05-10

CONSULATE: 17 days

Medical: 2010-06-04

Interview: 2010-06-15 - APPROVED!

Visa rcv'd: 2010-06-21

POE: 2010-06-29 LAX (286 Days from when we started this whole mess!)

CSC- ROC

Mailed 2012-06-05

NOA1 2012-06-07

Biometrics 2012-07-16

RFE 2013-02-06

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Vietnam
Timeline

If you insist on going the "abuse" route then try Catholic charities. They may be able to provide you with legal assistance at little or no cost.

Ok so let me get this straight. Despite I have received the letter from Homeland Security telling me that up on withdrawal on my joint removal application my status was terminated and I no longer have the right to reside and work in the US, I should go ahead with re-filing the removal asap? This makes sense to me BUT I am concerned if I do this I am not following the letters instructs as I was told on the phone. Yeh yeh, I know USCIS helpline is garbage I'm very aware but I don't want to cause EVEN MORE problems than I already have you know? Plus I can't have $535 going down the drain.

You absolutely MUST file again or you will be deported. Without another petition, an immigration judge will have no choice but to order the deportation. You have to give him a REASON to allow you to stay. The available grounds are spelled out in the I-751. Since you withdrew your joint petition to remove conditions, you have to ask for a waiver of the joint filing requirements. There are a limited number of grounds available to you:

1. Your spouse died.

2. You are divorced.

3. You were abused by your spouse.

4. You will suffer extreme hardship.

You CAN choose more than one of these grounds, if you want. Options 2 and 3 require proof you entered the marriage in good faith. Option 2 further requires proof of divorce (which you can provide later, in response to the RFE). Option 3 requires proof of the abuse.

Don't even consider option 4 unless you have very strong compelling evidence of the hardship. They are very strict about the requirements. The hardship must be due to circumstances that have arisen since you came to the US, and that would make it virtually impossible for you to return to your home country. USCIS realizes that deportation is a hardship on anyone, so meeting this requirement requires a hardship far beyond what any typical immigrant would endure. Being in an iron lung in a US hospital might be enough to qualify. Short of something that serious, a hardship waiver is very difficult to get.

In order to have a reasonable chance of proving abuse you will need at least SOME evidence from an unbiased third party who has no reason to lie on your behalf. Police reports would be the ultimate best evidence. Medical examiner reports (for physical abuse) and psychologist/psychiatrist reports (for mental/emotional abuse) would be second best. Sworn affidavits from uninvolved third parties who witnessed the abuse, and are neither friends nor family would be next (even better if they are respected members of the community). Sworn affidavits from friends and family fall much lower on the list of "good" evidence, because these people have a motive to lie on your behalf.

Divorce. There is absolutely unless by some miracle I can afford to file for divorce here. Are you telling me if I file removal under abuse at some point in order to go through with that I would definitely need a divorce decree?

No, you don't need a divorce decree if you ask ONLY for the abuse waiver. In fact, most people who ask for the abuse waiver are not divorced yet. To further complicate matters, if you ARE divorced and ask for a waiver based on abuse then the abuse must have been the grounds for the divorce.

What I'm saying is that if you file asking ONLY for the divorce waiver, then you only need a divorce decree to get approved - you won't need proof of any abuse.

Again, you can choose more than one category for the waiver. The biggest downside is that it complicates your petition. You don't have to get an approval on every waiver you request, but you do have to wait while they adjudicate each waiver request. Since the divorce waiver is straightforward, and doesn't require any additional evidence beyond a divorce decree, it would be easier and faster to file only for the divorce waiver.


12/15/2009 - K1 Visa Interview - APPROVED!

12/29/2009 - Married in Oakland, CA!

08/18/2010 - AOS Interview - APPROVED!

05/01/2013 - Removal of Conditions - APPROVED!

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Filed: Timeline

I dunno about other states, but when I got my divorce in FL years ago, since we had no joint assets and no children, it was called a 'simplified dissolution of marriage' and cost (iirc) MAYBE a couple of hundred bucks at most. Will not cover you if you're trying to get alimony, though.

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I dunno about other states, but when I got my divorce in FL years ago, since we had no joint assets and no children, it was called a 'simplified dissolution of marriage' and cost (iirc) MAYBE a couple of hundred bucks at most. Will not cover you if you're trying to get alimony, though.

Yes, there's always an option in every state to 'self-file'. The parties have to be in agreement though and willing to sign.


Our journey together on this earth has come to an end.

I will see you one day again, my love.

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