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Ranger431

Foreign Fiance flipping out...

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Guatemala
Timeline

So now that we have about 4-6 weeks before her interview, she is flipping out about coming to the US. She feels "trapped" that she will have to wait several months before she gets her residency, social, job permit, and be able to see her family again. Help! Has anyone else gone through this? This is really wearing me down, I've run out of things to say over this topic! What can I do or say to her to calm her down?

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Vietnam
Timeline

So now that we have about 4-6 weeks before her interview, she is flipping out about coming to the US. She feels "trapped" that she will have to wait several months before she gets her residency, social, job permit, and be able to see her family again. Help! Has anyone else gone through this? This is really wearing me down, I've run out of things to say over this topic! What can I do or say to her to calm her down?

Offer to withdraw the K1, marry her, and then file for a CR1. She'll get her green card shortly after she gets here, and she'll be able to work and travel. It will also take an additional 8 to 12 months. See how she feels about THAT! :whistle:

Seriously, short of the above, there is absolutely nothing you can do. The process is what it is. You can try to find things to keep her occupied while she's waiting for the green card.

Edited by JimVaPhuong

12/15/2009 - K1 Visa Interview - APPROVED!

12/29/2009 - Married in Oakland, CA!

08/18/2010 - AOS Interview - APPROVED!

05/01/2013 - Removal of Conditions - APPROVED!

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Filed: Lift. Cond. (apr) Country: India
Timeline

So now that we have about 4-6 weeks before her interview, she is flipping out about coming to the US. She feels "trapped" that she will have to wait several months before she gets her residency, social, job permit, and be able to see her family again. Help! Has anyone else gone through this? This is really wearing me down, I've run out of things to say over this topic! What can I do or say to her to calm her down?

I think more than the process which will help her obtain a green card,permit to work and permit to travel to meet her family faster, she is just emotionally a litle jittery about it,now that the interview is close by and things really are happening.

You should try to support her and convince her that all that will be surely possible with time.I think she just needs assurance(like most of us foreign fiances believe me).

I hope a little loving help will give her the much needed courage to do the move to a new country. (F)


K-1 Visa

11/03/09:I-129F sent to VSC

11/06/09:NOA1

03/02/10:NOA2 !!!

05/24/10:Interview!!-Approved!

POE: 28th June

AOS

07/20/2010: AOS sent

07/21/2010: Received at Chicago Lockbox

07/27/2010:text and email notifications received,cheque cashed!

07/30/2010:NOA1 received for EAD

08/02/2010:NOA1s for AOS/AP received

08/11/2010: AP touched

08/18/2010:I-485 transferred to CSC

08/19/2010:I-485 touched, 08/24: I-485 physically in CSC now,08/25 :I-485 touched

08/27/2010:put in service request with USCIS for Biometrics letter

09/08/2010:AP approved and EAD touched

09/11/2010:AP and EAD touched

09/14/2010:Biometrics walk-in successful (10/01/2010:Original biometrics appt)

09/13/2010:AP last touched

09/14/2010:EAD card production ordered and AOS touched

09/15/2010:EAD and AOS touched

09/20/2010:Received AP in the mail

09/24/2010:EAD in mail

10/13/2010:GC card production ordered

10/14 and 10/15: AOS touched

10/20/2010: GC received- Done with USCIS till June,2012

My humble blog:

http://songbird24.wordpress.com/

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Filed: Other Country: Ukraine
Timeline

I think more than the process which will help her obtain a green card,permit to work and permit to travel to meet her family faster, she is just emotionally a litle jittery about it,now that the interview is close by and things really are happening.

You should try to support her and convince her that all that will be surely possible with time.I think she just needs assurance(like most of us foreign fiances believe me).

I hope a little loving help will give her the much needed courage to do the move to a new country. (F)

I agree. There's so much emotions going on for her. She is leaving everything she knows behind and putting her life and trust in you. It's a big step for anyone to move to a foreign country and not be able to travel home or work. Try to comfort and support her and she'll need much more love and assurance than normal. My girl went through a very "difficult" phase a few days after passing her interview. It finally hit home that she was going to leave her family and friends. Best advice is to try and support her best you can and assure her that she will always be loved and respected.


~Johnny~

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Filed: Lift. Cond. (apr) Country: India
Timeline

Should've thought about all of this BEFORE applying for the K-1.


03/27/2009: Engaged in Ithaca, New York.
08/17/2009: Wedding in Calcutta, India.
09/29/2009: I-130 NOA1
01/25/2010: I-130 NOA2
03/23/2010: Case completed.
05/12/2010: CR-1 interview at Mumbai, India.
05/20/2010: US Entry, Chicago.
03/01/2012: ROC NOA1.
03/26/2012: Biometrics completed.
12/07/2012: 10 year card production ordered.

09/25/2013: N-400 NOA1

10/16/2013: Biometrics completed

12/03/2013: Interview

12/20/2013: Oath ceremony

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Egypt
Timeline

My fiancé is American and I'm Egyptian, he always excites me with our future plans, what we will do, where we'll go, like buying a house, going ice skating, going to Universal Studios and shopping, eating out at a romantic restaurant and travelling in America... this all sounds fun and she will start imaging all of this, America is a beautiful country and there's a million thing you can do, see, and buy!

Let her see the bright side for now.


K1 Timeline
03/08/10 - I-129F packet sent to VSC
07/07/10 - Interview Date - APPROVED!
10/28/10 - POE @ Chicago
11/21/10 - Marriage

AOS, AP, EAD.
01/18/11 - AOS, AP, EAD packet sent
03/07/2011 - Biometrics appointment
03/29/2011 - AOS, AP and EAD approved (After 2.5 months)
04/04/2011 - Green card in hand[/size]

ROC
02/12/2013 - ROC packet sent
02/21/2013 - NOA1 Received
03/09/2013 - Biometrics appointment
06/19/2013 - ROC APPROVED!

N-400 Naturalization

06/20/2014 - N-400 Packet sent

07/15/2014 - Check Cashedarrow-10x10.png

08/04/2014 - Biometrics

02/19/2015 - Interview

03/26/2015 - Oath Ceremony
event.png



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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: United Kingdom
Timeline

Hello

I am also a foreign fiance who is flipping out!

It is not an easy process, and we really did not expect it to take this long when we first filed. I have been continuously up and down throughout the whole process and we are only really at the beginning.

Also, I actually lived in the US and that is how we met. So, even though I have experienced living there and being away from family it is still worrying from time to time, knowing that this is permanent now (or will be when approved and married)

The whole not being able to work is my biggest concern, worrying about money etc and not being able to live life the way I am used to for a while until I can work again. However, you have to remember the reasons why you did this in the first place. I think these things, when put into perspective, and worth the sacrifice.

I know there will be times when I will miss my hometown and family and friends like crazy, however with the internet and skype its much more manageable. I know that we will all be able to visit each other too, and although it's not the same, if I was to stay here then I would not be able to live with my fiance and have the life that we hope for.

Please help her to stay positive, set up some hobbies and things to do while she cannot work, if you are busy then you have less time to get upset about things. Let her know that you are there for her. I plan to try to get into some kind of volunteer work before I get my EAD and green card just to keep myself occupied.

I hope this helps and good luck with the rest of your case.


Jan 10th 2009 - Met whilst I was working in the US on a J1 Visa
July 31st 2009 - I had to leave the US (visa expired and no jobs)
Sep 5th 2009 - I returned to the US to visit for 2 months

Dec 30th 2009 - He came to England to visit me for 10 days
Dec 31st 2009 - Engaged!!! He proposed in London at midnight
Jan 2010 - Sent I-129f application

Feb 12th 2010 - received NOA1

March - I visited for 2 weeks
May 4th 2010 - received NOA2

June - I visited for 2 weeks

16th July - Medical
26th July 2010! - Interview at US Embassy in London
12th August 2010 - Received K1 VISA smile.png
26th AUGUST 2010 - Enter US!!! POE ATLANTA
30th OCTOBER 2010 - Our Wedding - such a perfect day smile.png

EAD
8th November 2010 - Biometrics
27th January 2011 - EAD Received in the mail smile.png

AOS
8th November 2010 - Biometrics
3rd March 2011 - AOS Interview

ROC

Applied for removal of conditional permanent resident status
21st February 2013 I751

Received NOA MARCH 1ST 2013

Biometrics Appointment March 25th 2013

RFE July 2013

Sent RFE back September 2013

I-751 Interview in Atlanta1ST MAY 2014

10 year green card received!!!!! :joy: may 20th 2014

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Egypt
Timeline

My fiancé is American and I'm Egyptian, he always excites me with our future plans, what we will do, where we'll go, like buying a house, going ice skating, going to Universal Studios and shopping, eating out at a romantic restaurant and travelling in America... this all sounds fun and she will start imaging all of this, America is a beautiful country and there's a million thing you can do, see, and buy!

Let her see the bright side for now.

As my fiancée said, try to tell her how you'll help her feel more at home once she gets here. My fiancée will probably be homesick at times no matter what I do but that makes no difference, it's our job as future husbands to do anything in our power to make the transition easier for our future wives. I plan on taking her out on many dates (movies, restaurants, parks & picnics) and coming home for lunch on work-days. Also, Magicjack or Skype could be useful for allowing her to keep in contact with her family if they have reliable internet.

So my advice would be to focus on all the fun things you'll get to do with each other.


My personal blog, GreenParot.com

08/15/09 - Met each other online in a game of Uno on Facebook, best day of my life!

10/14/09 - Travel to Egypt

10/28/09 - Back in the U.S. =(

02/12/10 - Travel back to Egypt with my parents

02/15/10 - Proposed and engaged on our 6 month anniversary =)

02/23/10 - Back in the U.S.

###########################################

K1 Timeline

###########################################

03/08/10 - I-129F packet sent to VSC

03/12/10 - I-129F NOA1

05/25/10 - I-129F APPROVED!!! 74 Days after NOA1

06/02/10 - NOA2 Hardcopy Received

06/02/10 - NVC sent case to Embassy in Cairo

06/07/10 - Embassy received case

06/16/10 - Packet 3 received

06/27/10 - Packet 3 sent

06/30/10 - Packet 4 received

07/07/10 - Interview at Embassy in Cairo (APPROVED!)

07/14/10 - Visa received

??/??/10 - POE

event.png

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Ukraine
Timeline

So now that we have about 4-6 weeks before her interview, she is flipping out about coming to the US. She feels "trapped" that she will have to wait several months before she gets her residency, social, job permit, and be able to see her family again. Help! Has anyone else gone through this? This is really wearing me down, I've run out of things to say over this topic! What can I do or say to her to calm her down?

Yes, but most people mature enough to get married can wait a couple of months to run home. If she is so "flipping out" then get married and file for AOS right away after she arrives and file for an AP so she can run home to Momma. It will take about 2 months to receive.

OR just go there now, marry her, abandon the K-1 and do a CR-1 visa. Then she can leave as soon as she arrives. We certainly wouldn't want her trapped in the USA! Horror. That's why there is more than oe type of visa.

People choose a visa for many reasons. You probably chose the K-1 because someone told you it was faster and now you balk at the requirements. The K-1 is not a faster visa to get a green card, nor is it cheaper. And it is not the best choice for people that want to leave as soon as they arrive.

Tell her to buck up and accept the choices she makes in life. She WILL be living in the USA, she knows that right?


VERMONT! I Reject Your Reality...and Substitute My Own!

Gary And Alla

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Filed: Other Timeline

So now that we have about 4-6 weeks before her interview, she is flipping out about coming to the US. She feels "trapped" that she will have to wait several months before she gets her residency, social, job permit, and be able to see her family again. Help! Has anyone else gone through this? This is really wearing me down, I've run out of things to say over this topic! What can I do or say to her to calm her down?

Glad to be of assistance.

Tell her that your buddy Bob hasn't seen his family in over 10 years and that he hasn't traveled "home" since January of 1994 (over 16 years now), simply because he wants to be in the USA so much and likes the USA so much that the USA has become home for him.

Ask her if she really understands that marrying a man who lives thousands of miles away on another continent is an important, kind of life-changing event, and make sure that if she has serious doubts about this step, it would be better to back out now than in a few weeks or months. It would save you both a lot of trouble and headaches.

Some people can adjust to a new environment easily whereas others really never get totally over their past lives and live every day with regret and the urge to go back.


There is no room in this country for hyphenated Americanism. When I refer to hyphenated Americans, I do not refer to naturalized Americans. Some of the very best Americans I have ever known were naturalized Americans, Americans born abroad. But a hyphenated American is not an American at all . . . . The one absolutely certain way of bringing this nation to ruin, of preventing all possibility of its continuing to be a nation at all, would be to permit it to become a tangle of squabbling nationalities, an intricate knot of German-Americans, Irish-Americans, English-Americans, French-Americans, Scandinavian-Americans or Italian-Americans, each preserving its separate nationality, each at heart feeling more sympathy with Europeans of that nationality, than with the other citizens of the American Republic . . . . There is no such thing as a hyphenated American who is a good American. The only man who is a good American is the man who is an American and nothing else.

President Teddy Roosevelt on Columbus Day 1915

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Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Peru
Timeline

I can feel your pain right now. We are waiting on the darn email telling us when the interview is going to be and my wife is going through the same thing. One thing you can say to her is to look at this "sacrifice" in a different way. Once she is done with the waiting for her real green card she will be able to support her family from here and also down the road she will be able to help them move here (if they desire).

I have gone through the experience of moving countries and cultures (I'm actually from Guatemala as well) and one thing that kept me going is knowing that know I will have the ability to help my family any way I can.

Also, depending on what part of the country you live in you should be able to find restaurants, festivals chapines (guatemalan). This way she can always have a piece of her country available.

I hope the best for you guys!

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Ask her if she just wants to call the whole thing off! Then, get her to talk about the reasons she wanted to be with you. I feel ya!

good.gif Courtship/interesting times spent in hotels are not always a good test of compatibility.

However, when you both come to a fork in the road, you have to take it as Yogi Berra once said.

It's married life that is littered with such forks and if you can't take them together you will have

nothing but stress in a continuing relationship.

This lady sounds a lot like my first wife, who wanted EVERYTHING on her terms and pouted

continuously until she got it her way. If she imagined that things would be easier, the way

to deal with disappointment is with a smile, love & understanding, techniques which my

Thai wife excells at. That doesn't include being understanding regarding infidelity, which

has not and will not happen. Everybody has their limits for tolerating stress, but this lady

seems to have a very very low threshhold.


02/2003 - Met

08/24/09 I-129F; 09/02 NOA1; 10/14 NOA2; 11/24 interview; 11/30 K-1 VISA (92 d); 12/29 POE 12/31/09 Marriage

03/29/-04/06/10 - AOS sent/rcd; 04/13 NOA1; AOS 2 NBC

04/14 $1010 cashed; 04/19 NOA1

04/28 Biom.

06/16 EAD/AP

06/24 Infops; AP mail

06/28 EAD mail; travel 2 BKK; return 07/17

07/20/10 interview, 4d. b4 I-129F anniv. APPROVAL!*

08/02/10 GC

08/09/10 SSN

2012-05-16 Lifting Cond. - I-751 sent

2012-06-27 Biom,

2013-01-10 7 Mo, 2 Wks. & 5 days - 10 Yr. PR Card (no interview)

*2013-04-22 Apply for citizenship (if she desires at that time) 90 days prior to 3yr anniversary of P. Residence

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Ranger - its not that uncommon for this to happen.

I know it can be very stressful and trying but during this time she needs your love and support more than ever.

My fiancee (now wife) did not have this happen but she was extremely homesick after she arrived (she still misses her family very much and sometimes at night when she cries I just hold her and cry with her - as I really do miss her family very much too).

Does her family have internet access? If so, you can assure her that she can talk with her family every day. I bought a new home pc when Doan arrived and we use yahoo video with voice and she talks to her family almost every day. It costs nothing (except for internet service and initial cost of pc and web cam - which most here have anyway).

Do you have family nearby and are they in acceptance of everything? Doan spends her days with my folks and she loves it. While I am at work she is learning new things and also teaching them things. For some this can be very rewarding.

Do you have any pets? We have a little dog and its a great fit because Doan had 7 dogs and she loves them very much.

These are types of things that you can use to assure her if they fit for you.

Doan also fits right in with my friends - even though it can be a bit tough depending on the language barrier at times but its really usefulo to have the interaction for her to practice her english.

Also - we are already making future plans to return to visit her family next year.

There is not really to much you can do other than be the foundation for her - be a piece of granite that is also as soft as a pillow!

Last but not least - it takes two to be successful, hopefully she can gain strength from yours.

I wish you the very best!


6/15/2009 Filed I-129F

12/15/2009 Interview (HCMC, VN)

1/16/2010 POE Detroit

3/31/2010 MARRIED !!!

11/20/2010 Filed I-485

12/23/2010 Biometrics (Buffalo, NY)

12/31/2010 I-485 Transfered to CSC

2/4/2011 Green Card received

1/7/2013 Mailed I-751 package

1/14/2013 I-751 NOA (VSC)

2/07/2013 Biometrics (Buffalo, NY)

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