Need some sound advise

[Peace be still 6]

Bare with me as I try to summerize this situation. I met this lady through a support group 2yrs ago for women that were in relationships with MENA men. Well to make a long story short, this lady who I will call Ms. L went to Morocco 1yr ago, but she failed to let the man know that she was going to visit that she was in a wheel chair, and that her mobility was limited. After Ms. L was there for 6 days out of the 30 she was suppose to stay they made her leave on the 7th day. Well she comes back to the USA all heart broken and of course the support group that we all belonged to supported her with us knowing the full details. We all assumed that this guy was a pure jerk. After all she sold her washer/dryer machine to afford the ticket to go to Morocco. After she came back she also got evicted from her handicap assessable apartment. Well she and another lady went and rented another apartment together. You would think that she learned her lesson. Well some other lady on our support site decided to let her Moroccon husband connect her to a family member of his. So know Ms. L and her roomate are corrisponding back and fourth with men from Morocco. You would think that Ms. L roomate/caretaker would try to speak some since into her head about making another trip over there?

The two of them decided not move over to Morocco and they both stopped paying their rent and sold all of their posessions that they had and purchased a one way ticket to Morocco. I told Ms L that she was making big mistake and that she should not go because of her physical disability and Doctora's not understanding her medical condition. She has MS. Well not listening to a thing that I said or her family members tried to say she and her roomate leaves the USA and arrives in Morocco on December 6. After being with her so call fiance, for 2 days his family was unable to deal with her and they put her up in a hotel for 3 days. According to Ms. L they abandoned her there and she had to holler out for help. When the hotel manager realized what was going on he called the Moroccan Police and needless to say that the lady she went there with fiance got arrested and not the guy that Ms. L went to go and visit and supposely marry.

On the 5th day they took her from Safi and drove her back to US Embassy in Casablanca, and left her accross the street. Even the lady that she went there with jumped back into the car and left her on the side of the road. She even took Ms. L wallet that contain her passport, state ID, Birth Certificate ect... All the essential Items she would have needed to get married in Morocco. A Moroccan man had to help her get accross the street with her 2 suite cases and help her into the Embassy.

The Embassy purchased her a one way ticket back to the states and put her up in a hotel for one day. After she got back to the states she was homeless and so she calls me crying on the phone. She asked if she could stay at my place for a couple of weeks. After asking my husband permission he said it would be fine. He was feeling guilty that one of his brother man would treat her this way. So we both felt so sorry for her and I told her she could stay with me for 2wks until she gets her ssi check and then move on her own. OMG when i go and get this woman from the airport, to my supprise she is bound to this wheel chair, and she doesn't have the mobility that she claims she has. She smelled like urine and her clothes were soiled. I almost turned away and left. But the GOD in me would not allow me nor my husband to do so.

Ms. L has no ID all she had was the temp passport the the US Embassy gave her that expired on December 24. The lady that she went to Morocco with has everything of hers includding her bank card.

On the first day my husband had to go to the store and purchase depends. This woman had nothing on and she can't control her own blatter.

She lied to everybody on the support group. She lied and said that she walks with a walker but that is a lie heck she can't pull herself up out of a wheelchair. I have to have a family member come over everday several times a day to bath her and take her to the bathroom. The crazy part is that I have to make her take a bath she doesn't even want to do that.

I called the MS Society and hopefully they will be getting back with me tomorrow, but this woman has to get out of my home. I called her family and none of them want her not even her mother or grandmother. They refuse to send her any money for her basic needs. Her mother asked me to put her away in a residential facility. Clearly this woman is not mentally stable enough to make sound decisions and how she was able to make it to Morocco 2x is beyond my own imagination.

I am giving her to the January 2 and she has to go where she goes is not even a concern of mine I did my good deed and I am so done.

[New Beginnings 32]

Oh my god, what a story!! It's so good of you to be helping this woman.

If you can't get any of her family to come help you could try contacting local churches or shelters.

[nurse1967 287]

WOW. You are a much nicer person than I am. I couldn't deal with that. I had a friend who let a guy we were going to school with stay for her for "2 weeks" and she liked to never got him to leave. Unfortunately sometimes these people end up in bad situations by their own doing. Good luck and I hope you find a solution to your quandry.

[Peace be still 6]

Yes I truly believe that she got herself in this situation, and right about now I am so frustrated with it all. I am doing what I can to get her out of my house. The constant laziness, and urinated in her depends. If my husband and I wanted children we would have them. But we both decided to wait and enjoy the marriage before doing so. I am trying to make phone calls to get someone that is desperate for a few dollars a month to take her in.

[Bobby+Umit 161]

Wait - how are you surprised she is in a wheelchair - you first paragraph described the situation with the support group (and the "jerk" who sent her back because she was in a wheelchair) - am I missing something?

[Brother Hesekiel 2,235]

+1

What I also missed is the question. Are you looking for advise on what to do or moral support?

[justashooter 430]

some people cannot deal with reality.

[brooklyn 0]

She looking for some moral support ,but at the same time she is trying to vent some.

If you knew ms L you would think she could walk cuz that what she tells you .

So she had no clue to she got to the airport to pick her up that she was in a wheel chair

all the time . MENAFORLIFE and her husband have a heart of gold .

I wish you and ur husband the best of luck and god will guide you both on what to do.

Brooklyn

[Peace be still 6]

Thanks Brooklyn, you know the story and thank goodness you know Ms. L. You was so right Mrs. Brooklyn with she had us all believing that although she was in a wheel chair that she could still walk, and that the wheel chair was just for some support whenever she needed it. I came to the conclusion that she is a con artist that I already told she has to be out of my home on January 2nd.

[Jenn! 918]

Oh my goodness, how incredibly sad.

Nice of you to help this woman out. I hope the MS society can find a long-term solution for her.

[Darnell 8,478]

if she qualifies for SSI, she can ALSO get into an assisted living community, and the gov will pay for her to be there. perhaps you might want to look into the communities in your city that 'have an opening' then get a social worker in, to handle all logistics. they do handle 'emergencies' like this, very well - but you gots to get to the right people.

I can't tell you who to contact in your city , as you live 'my husband's business only' and there's no way i can do a cross-reference on any usa city based on 'my husband's business only' .

But - you can start by calling the sherrif's office (not to have her arrested ) but to talk with the special 'mental health officer' - and ask for referrals - there is always one on duty - tell him you need an emergency social worker to get the woman out of your house, as you can't assist her much further. That special sherrif is connected, you betcha - he can make sure that you get the right information, so that YOU can act quickly.

Good Luck !

[Calypso 464]

You and your husband are quite amazing to deal with her and with the whole situation.

It's all right. I'm sure you'll know better next time who and when to help.

Hakuna matata.

God bless us all.

FAE

[thongd4me 69]

Mena,

If you are anywhere near Chicago, there should be municipal social services for the handicapped.

I don't think you have any legal obligation to support her because she misinformed you and her

family is already wary of that. She also has severe mental problems and such people often do

dangerous and harmful things because they are desperate and feel they have nothing to lose.

If she has access to the kitchen she could turn the gas on while you are not looking

(I'm talking about something that may not be likely but is a worst case scenario).

Call the police and get them to remove her to an appropriate facility - make them know

it is an emergency and that you are not responsible for her. It's my guess she will not

leave of her own free will, especially since it is winter. If you put her out on the street

then you will be the center of a famous "abuse" case - protect yourself and call the police.

Best of luck, you are a saint but you have to be able to maintain your life before you

can help others. She is not allowing you to do that so she must go where she can get help.

TD4Me

[Peace be still 6]

I have called the local MS Society, and they should be able to assist her hopefully tomorrow. She has no ID so I am at square one with trying to get her some valid state ID in order for her to get help from the local government because she has no ID at all. I'm hoping that the Social Security will help us out tomorrow by giving her a temp card that will get her a State ID. I do agree with the OP comment about her getting into assistant living because she needs it. She's in complete denial about her physical condition. What baffles me is that her family completely washes their hands of her. If she was my relative she would have never been allowed to be her own Payee of her SSI check. She asked me to help her so that she doesn't do the wrong thing again with her money, but the problem is that I don't have the time due to my career, and I don't want the responsibility. So i am going to try to have the state take control and make sure that she is never left in this situation again in her life. I would hate to see her link up with others that uses her for her $900 she gets a month.

For some reason she keeps hooking up with losers. She just met a couple of more men from Morocco, and the scary part is that she met some American guy that looks like he just got out of prison, and she wants to meet him for New Years. Like Oh My Freaking Goodness. I had to let her know under no certain terms is she allowed to give my address or phone number out. My family was nice enough to give her a cell phone. I am so stressed out about trying to help someone that I thought was a person that cought a bad break in life.

If I could I would warn all MOROCCAN MEN that crosses her path to run for the hills.

[Peace be still 6]

Mena,

If you are anywhere near Chicago, there should be municipal social services for the handicapped.

I don't think you have any legal obligation to support her because she misinformed you and her

family is already wary of that. She also has severe mental problems and such people often do

dangerous and harmful things because they are desperate and feel they have nothing to lose.

If she has access to the kitchen she could turn the gas on while you are not looking

(I'm talking about something that may not be likely but is a worst case scenario).

Call the police and get them to remove her to an appropriate facility - make them know

it is an emergency and that you are not responsible for her. It's my guess she will not

leave of her own free will, especially since it is winter. If you put her out on the street

then you will be the center of a famous "abuse" case - protect yourself and call the police.

Best of luck, you are a saint but you have to be able to maintain your life before you

can help others. She is not allowing you to do that so she must go where she can get help.

TD4Me

Thank you so much for making things more clear for me. That is what I've been struggling with is feeling responsible, and her always crying about not having no where to go. She will need to be placed in a residential or mental health facility asap. I will follow up on that tomorrow morning.