Please tell me this didn't just happen

[kayandnigel 0]

am not believing this

[chrisc85 0]

well... in order for her to be a citizen they had to have been together in person in the US for at least 3 years already... but either way there isnt really enough info provided to know exactly what the case was...

what were those 'things' going against you exactly? if you dont mind my asking (in other words, what specific reasons did she really give for wanting to leave)? a personal question, and you obviously arent obligated to answer if you dont like. she seems genuine from what you said but idk...

maybe it just didnt work out... its ok... things will be fine. just try to take it easy a little. try not to drink, you dont need that sh*t

if she cares about the kid at all, you guys will remain close, and from the way it sounds, she wants to. the kid is still a beautiful part of both your lives. just try to work it out. if it really was a scam, then eventually you will know anyway and it may help you get over it a easier in a sense...

where was she from anyway? (just curious, maybe some of it had to do with cultural issues? - NO STEREOTYPING PLEASE!!!) lets try to keep this thread open lol

[leapoffaith 0]

Hey, this is life all about - every one has their share of quirks and idiosyncracy. Just move on in this journey called life !

[luckymom 0]

8 years of marriage whether you're living physically or long distance is not really a joke. This is life itself and I think the relationship really turned out the way the OP is not expecting. We don't know how the relationship was for that very long time. We don't know the surrounding facts of their meeting, we don't know why he end up adopting her kid which happened to be too young or still a baby. So I guess, for me what the OP can do is try to analyze what really went wrong. Being husband and wife legally as the word implies entails a commitment and maintaining it is really a hardwork. I feel that the OP is a good person and hopefully he can manage to come to terms with the wife, if not I think even to the very least they can be good friends. I know some relationships that did not materialize when they are living together as husband and life but ended up being good friends.

There are so many things still unclear to me in this post, anyway I still give some of my opinions and I hope even 1% i made sense. Good luck to the OP and may your relationship improves and also one more thing, drinking will not solve your dilemma - it will lead to more problems.

[Ban Hammer 12,839]

unfortunately, more bad news is due to you adopting the son means you will probably be on the hook for child support.

[SuperDuper! 230]

am not believing this

Your post adds nothing to this discussion. Please refrain from posting if you have nothing useful to say.

[KarenCee 3]

It is so good to see that some things haven't changed around here... Suspicion rides high as usual!

[Nicoxcx 1]

Guilty until proven innocent on VJ...it is a shame. Let the MODS moderate the thread...Jeez.

As for the question, I agree with those posters who actually took the time to be helpful, I doubt your wife was in it just for the Greencard, marriages fail all of the time and it is sad, you need to sit down with her and discuss your next steps especially for her son, what age is he?

[joelunchbox 0]

For some reason many people think the relationships we discuss here are somehow "different" from "normal" relationships. Bull!! How we meet people is different, but the the people involved are just PEOPLE!!!

With that in mind, take heart that some things happen for no known reason. My ex still can't tell me why she divorced me. 18 years and it's over, sometimes that is what happens. I can tell you that it will hurt! And it will take time to heal. Alcohol tends to only extend how long you hurt, so go easy there.

[bulaklak 0]

Not all fairy tales end with Happy Ending.Who know shes not really the women that meant for you.I know you can find better woman than her...

Of course, obviously they didn't meant for each other but it doesn't mean she's not a better person because the marriage was broken. we are human and have flaws,and sometimes there are things that we can't control even if we want not to happen.

There's nothing to be shocked about it, people fell-inlove or fell-out of love and that's normal. parts of human life.

[MikenKyhen 0]

I truly hope the OP stuck around long enough to read more than first handful of hurtful, sarcastic replies. The kind of pain that is often felt from a broken heart can leave an otherwise sensible individual in an extremeley vulnerable state of mind and the consequences, often tragic.

[Kathryn41 3,205]

more inappropriate OT type comments removed

[Rich and Bey 1]

What is a troll?

[idocare 3]

To the OP if your still coming and checking your messages I just you too know that some of us do understand your emotions and you have a right to greive.It also sounds to me that you realize what has happened. Although none of us here commenting on what you wrote don't know all the details, it's sounding to me like you didn't see this coming.

Trust me, as the days go by, you will know what has happened. You mentioned that you just adopted her son, ( 6-months earlier ) I'm just wondering if your thinking about the child support that your gonna be paying to her or the fact that you just demostrated to her that your intentions were to be with her for life by adopting her son.

And she let you do it, then decided that she didn't want you. Which ever the case I"m sure it hurts, please take your time and grieve

Usually people don't just wake up in two or three months and realize that the person they married isn't the right person for them. There's usually drama before the actual splitting up. It'll be interesting to see if she keeps to her word and not take anything financially from you ( including child support ).

Please feel free to send me e-mail if you'd like to talk. I'm a victim of a marriage scam

so I can totally relate to what your going thru, all the what happened, what could I of done differently, where is all this coming from and why are they doing this ......... You

have too much to think about, take your time talk/think it out as much as you can,

your wife may be filing for divorce soon and you have that issue ahead of you; and if you and she don't reunite, I hope that you find a way too pick yourself up in enough time too rightly defend yourself and your assets during your divorce ( should she decide to go after anything )